Phone answering at meal time

[tammylc]

Right now it's just me and my husband, so we usually answer the phone - our dinner time jumps all over the place, so we can't expect people to know when we might be eating. We each have our own cell phone, and no landline, so we don't have to worry about telemarketing calls. And since our cell phones have caller ID, we can screen calls before answering them.

Once our little one is born and gets a little older, I'd definitely like to have an established family dinner time, at the table, with the TV off and no phones being answered.

[tommy]

We each have our own cell phone, and no landline, so we don't have to worry about telemarketing calls.

that's becoming more and more the case. several of my friends don't have land lines. i have 2 land lines, and i really don't use them very often.

[KateW]

I always answer the phone, because mealtime is rather informal at our place, as I mentioned in the other thread about dining room tables or lack thereof.

Phone calls you're expecting are great, but usually the ones you aren't expecting turn out to be the most important ones.

[MichaelB]

I do answer the phone at home whenever it rings. I am politely rude to telemarketers ("I don't accept telephone solicitations. Good day." Click). I will not talk on the phone at meal times and will not allow others to do so either. A simple "we are just sitting down to [meal] and will call you back" is all the caller gets.

I take the calls because there are emergencies, etc. I have resisted all the modern conveniences on our home phones -- no voice mail, caller ID, call waiting, etc. If we are not at home and someone really wants to talk to me, he or she knows how to reach me -- or, if not, I am not interested in talking to that person..

[hjshorter]

I check the caller ID, but unless it's Publisher's Clearing House calling to tell me I've won (I'm still waiting), the call usually goes to the answering machine.

[KateW]

What I really hate is the telemarketers who call and there is either nobody there when you answer, or it's a machine..."It's important that we talk to you. Please call 1-800..."

If it's that important, a live person should be there to talk to me.

The phone number is under my fiance's name, which is delightfully hard to pronounce. So if someone calls and stumbles over the name, I know right away it's not someone we know.

Another thing that pisses me off but is also good for telemarketers is the fact that I apparently have a young sounding voice. I often get "May I speak to your mother please?" How do I answer this? There are so many ways I'd love to try. 1) Well, I haven't lived with my mother in over 6 years. 2) Yes, but you'll have to dial her number, not mine...

Or, I can say I cannot make decisions regarding the phone/cable company/whatever, which is also mostly true because everything is under my fiance's name.

I have a lot of pet peeves that have to do with the phone...like my mom's obsession with phones that I can't hear her on. She got rid of the headset phone I hated, only to get one that was just as bad, but I don't have the heart to tell her. I also can't stand it when someone calls and says "Hi!" like I should know who it is. I have a hard time placing a voice without the face. Am I the only one?

[Suzanne F]

when i was a kid, we used to talk face to face. the phone is just another modern device that is destroying families. i feel sorry for kids whose parents let them use the phone, too.

When I was a kid, we used to walk barefoot through the snow to talk to people. Even in the summertime.

[Kim WB]

when i was a kid, we used to talk face to face.  the phone is just another modern device that is destroying families.  i feel sorry for kids whose parents let them use the phone, too.

When I was a kid, we used to walk barefoot through the snow to talk to people. Even in the summertime.

uphill, both ways.

I just bit the bullet and got a different cel phone for personal use, so my other one is just real estate. That way, if a call comes in on one I know I can ignore it completely, but if it comes in on the other, its a family member or close friend and I should answer it. I'm really limiting who gets that number. I was becoming a phone slave of sorts, but this greatly improves things.

[Waterlogged]

Hello! I am new here, 1st post actually! This is a topic that my kids just don't understand. My husband and I usually UNPLUG the phone at dinner-time. If we forget, the answering machine picks up the call. If it is important, they will leave a message. 99% of the time, it is for the kids, hence, the arguing over the phone...and our displeasure of it ringing at dinner-time. It seems that my boys's friends don't sit down to dinner every evening like we do...pity. Just my 2 cents...back to the forums...lots to read here!

Megan

[fifi]

Welcome Waterlogged.

I have friends with teenagers and unplugging the phone is just about the only way, short of chaining them to their chairs. Cell phones get turned off.

Off-topic but it is just too funny not to share. A friend of mine had a daughter going through the "sulky" phase. About the third time the daughter flounced off to her room and slammed the door, my friend instituted a creative solution. Daughter got home from school to find that the door to her room had been REMOVED. With the doorknob removed, the door was in a prominent place in the garage with a big chain through the doorknob hole and a big padlock on the chain.

[Waterlogged]

Been there, done that with the door AND the boys wouldn't stop jumping on their beds. There were a couple windows in their room and we were afraid, not only of the head landing first, but of them flying out the second floor window! They slept on the floor for a few weeks...thing is...they thought it was fun...like camping. Glad to hear we (DH and me) are not the only ones in the world to remove doors! The look on their faces was priceless!

And....thank you for the welcome...I have to run and get dinner going...I may be back later and introduce myself on the other forum...

Megan

[torakris]

Another thing that pisses me off but is also good for telemarketers is the fact that I apparently have a young sounding voice. I often get "May I speak to your mother please?" How do I answer this? There are so many ways I'd love to try. 1) Well, I haven't lived with my mother in over 6 years. 2) Yes, but you'll have to dial her number, not mine...

This is actually the opposite of what I do to get telemarketers OFF the phone.

And yes the telemarketers in Japan can be just as bad, I used to try to get them off the phone by saying that I don't speak Japanese but then they they would go into to their spiel in very slow , heavily accenuated Jaapnese and it would take twice as long. Now and I just tell them my mother isn't home and they hang up instantly!

Anyway back to the real question, we ignore the phone during the meal, the machine will pick it up and we can call them back after we are done. Occasionally we can tell by the message that it is important and we will pick it up.

My husband will answer his cell phone because it is for work only and a call after he has left usually means there is a problem that he needs to deal with immediately.

[Fat Guy]

Even then, I use a headset so I'm not just sitting there holding a piece of plastic to the side of my head. Instead I can move about and do something useful like dust or arrange books on shelves or something.

And that's just during dinner!

I'm also a major headset consumer. We have about 11 headsets. Our phone system is amazingly diverse and heavily tricked out: we have three phone lines, two cell phones, and three efax numbers; two hardcore three-line office phones from Polycom with full-duplex speakerphones and Hello Direct headsets; spread-spectrum digital cordless phones for each number, all with headsets; headsets for the cell phones; digital voicemail system; and also an intercom system. That's aside from the walkie talkies. So that's what we do to make ourselves reachable and efficient in our telecommunications. And to balance it all, we're extremely careful about our phone time and habits -- I probably spend an average of less than 5 minutes a day on the phone for personal calls, and less than 20 minutes for professional calls unless I'm interviewing or being interviewed in connection with a writing project. And certainly, none of that is ever allowed to interrupt mealtimes or goofing-off times.

[jhlurie]

Since the Do Not Call list went into effect, it is absolutely amazing that the number of those intensely annoying, privacy invading, dinner interrupting telemarketing calls has dropped to absolutely zero.  

Unfortunately the same has not occured to me. For some weeks after the list went into effect this happened to me, but I've noticed that the number of unwelcomed calls from "authorized" parties has increased. Who are these "authorized" parties you may ask? Well, apparently ANYONE who you do business with in any capacity (phone companies, banks, utility companies, mortgage companies, and many others) have an exemption to call you to pimp ancillary services. MCI, for example, who I use ONLY for long distance, calls me to tell me to switch my local service at least twice a week, despite the fact that I've gone as far as talking to a supervisor to tell them to stop calling me.

Really, I'm about 50% convinced now to abandon all phones except my cell phone. Even with minimal long distance and local plans (which I hardly ever use), really all I have the land line for is emergencies and dead cell phone battery time. I'm basically throwing money out just keeping them around.

Now as to mealtimes... I suppose its different when you're married with kids and such. I know that when I'm in that circumstance--with extended family, I mean--we ignore the phone or at most tell people to call back. At home, when I don't have company? I'm stupid enough to usually let my dinner get cold.

[Random Alias]

I've noticed that the number of unwelcomed calls from "authorized" parties has increased.  Who are these "authorized" parties you may ask?  Well, apparently ANYONE who you do business with in any capacity (phone companies, banks, utility companies, mortgage companies, and many others) have an exemption to call you to pimp ancillary services.  MCI, for example, who I use ONLY for long distance, calls me to tell me to switch my local service at least twice a week, despite the fact that I've gone as far as talking to a supervisor to tell them to stop calling me.

Had the same problem with MCI. I asked MCI to put me on their 'Do Not Call List' about 4 times, but weeks after the first request I was still getting multiple calls per week from them trying to get me to switch to 'The Neighborhood'.

So I canceled my long distance service with them --and MCI won't make it easy for you to do this so just call your local provider and have them cancel it. I've gotten one call from MCI since the cancellation went through. They wanted me to come back (and join 'The Neighborhood' of course). I told the person calling that I canceled my service exactly because of calls like this in the first place and then pointed out that she was breaking the law by calling me as I had explicitly told MCI not to. She seemed to take it personally and hung up on me.

MCI sucks. I now use my cell for long distance and 10-10 numbers if necessary.

----------

I don't answer the phone during dinner, or any other time I don't feel like being disturbed. Also won't answer the door if I don't feel like it. I find it amazing the number of people who think a ringing phone or doorbell must be answered. I felt that way for the longest time too --it was how I was raised.

Last Thanksgiving I visited my dad and as he's older, I decided I'd make Thanksgiving dinner for everyone. Literally just as food was being put on the table the phone rang and although I made it pretty clear that I felt we should simply ignore it, my dad had to answer the phone. Amazing that the effort required to cook dinner doesn't trump the effort to dial a phone.

[fifi]

I had to work at it to not answer the phone. Remember that it hasn't been THAT many years ago that there was no such thing as answering machines, caller id and other technology available to help manage communications. There weren't any telemarketers, either. I am sure that there are those of you here that don't remember those days. A missed call was just that... missed... with no clue as to who it was or what it might have been about. For most folks, that was too much of a mystery.

[Suzanne F]

Nothing to do with telephone use and food (not even calling for a delivery), but:

We have 2 lines, one "residential" and the other "business." I registered the business line on the DNC list. The residential line, which we use to make outgoing calls, is always hooked up to the fax. So when the telemarketers call it, that's what answers.

As fifi says, BWHAHAHAHAHA.

Of course, that doesn't help stop all the penis-enlargement spam I get

Edited December 30, 2003 by Suzanne F (log)

[scrappycat]

With 3 teenage daughters, I never have to worry about answering the phone! The only thing I have to do is get out of the way as they all stampede for it.

My 14 year old, the youngest and the quickest usually gets it first, so she screens all of the calls. I haven't talked to a telemarketer in years. She first asks them "what does this call pertain to?" and then proceeds to tell them we're not interested. What's great is she has a very young voice, so it sounds like they are being shot down by a seven-year-old!

And yes, they do answer the phone at dinner, but we usually glare at them as they get on, and they get off quickly.

[tommy]

I'm also a major headset consumer. We have about 11 headsets. Our phone system is amazingly diverse and heavily tricked out: we have three phone lines, two cell phones, and three efax numbers; two hardcore three-line office phones from Polycom with full-duplex speakerphones and Hello Direct headsets; spread-spectrum digital cordless phones for each number, all with headsets; headsets for the cell phones; digital voicemail system; and also an intercom system. That's aside from the walkie talkies.

all of that, an no friends to speak of. talk about overkill.

[fifi]

I'm also a major headset consumer. We have about 11 headsets. Our phone system is amazingly diverse and heavily tricked out: we have three phone lines, two cell phones, and three efax numbers; two hardcore three-line office phones from Polycom with full-duplex speakerphones and Hello Direct headsets; spread-spectrum digital cordless phones for each number, all with headsets; headsets for the cell phones; digital voicemail system; and also an intercom system. That's aside from the walkie talkies. So that's what we do to make ourselves reachable and efficient in our telecommunications. And to balance it all, we're extremely careful about our phone time and habits -- I probably spend an average of less than 5 minutes a day on the phone for personal calls, and less than 20 minutes for professional calls unless I'm interviewing or being interviewed in connection with a writing project. And certainly, none of that is ever allowed to interrupt mealtimes or goofing-off times.

The mind boggles.

[lmswartz]

I don't answer the phone during dinner, or any other time I don't feel like being disturbed. Also won't answer the door if I don't feel like it. I find it amazing the number of people who think a ringing phone or doorbell must be answered. I felt that way for the longest time too --it was how I was raised.

My sentiments exactly. We don't answer the phone or the door during meals, period. (No TV or radio during meals, either.) We let calls go to voicemail and pick up messages after we eat. We don't have caller ID or a separate answering machine, so we aren't tempted to see who's calling and decide whether or not to answer. My cell phone stays off when I'm at home; my husband's is on only when he's on call. The only exceptions we make are if we are expecting a call or visit at a particular time. Not once have we missed a call or visit that could not wait until after we were done eating.

I, too, was raised in a household where we allowed every phone call and doorbell to interrupt anything. It took me a long time to resist the urge to jump any time the phone or doorbell rings. However, once I started ignoring the interruptions, I found I REALLY liked not having to stop whatever I was doing just because according to someone else's schedule, it was time to talk or visit. How freeing!

[Moopheus]

I don't like to answer the phone during dinner, or while I'm making dinner. Though sometimes when I am making dinner the call is from my wife, to tell me she'll be late, so I have to delay making dinner.

[Kim WB]

Our phone system is amazingly diverse and heavily tricked out: we have three phone lines, two cell phones, and three efax numbers; two hardcore three-line office phones from Polycom with full-duplex speakerphones and Hello Direct headsets; spread-spectrum digital cordless phones for each number, all with headsets; headsets for the cell phones; digital voicemail system; and also an intercom system. That's aside from the walkie talkies.

If I had this set up, I don't think I would answer the phone during dinner either..but probably because I could not figure out which one was ringing!

[SobaAddict70]

Clearly El Gordo forgot to budget for a receptionist.

Soba

[LittleMissCrepe]

I might be among the minority of people here whose family was always happy to pick up the phone at any time. My mother has been known to disappear in the next room for long stretches of time with the phone when a friend from church called during dinner. We would just carry on without her, no big deal. We used to have a no-TV rule too -- until Seinfeld went into syndication and was rerun at 6:30 p.m. every weeknight. My mother (and yes, the rest of us) loves Seinfeld.

The best was when the phone rung during grace. With the exception of my dad, who concentrates better than the rest of us, grace would go something like this:

"...and Lord we pray for our city and our country and the world and **phone rings** andthankyouforthefoodinyournameamen!" <person saying grace bolts to pick up the phone>