Embarrassed or bugged by dinner companions

[Liza]

Arrgh, Samantha, you've wrested loose another painful one, long since blocked.

I'm in LA to shoot with Wolfgang Puck at Spago. He's a lovely, sweet, really approachable guy, who I've worked with once before. Things go very well, and I get a reservation for dinner there the next night. I meet a friend there, who is completely starstruck, and really, in her 40s she should be over it, but sort of awed that I'm taking her there. She asks for EVERYTHING to be wrapped up, including the bread in the bread basket. And they put it all in separate stryofoam containers, so by the end of the meal, there's a one foot pile of white styro packets next to her. And that's when Wolfgang comes by for a chat. Completely embarrassed inside, cool as a cuke on the outside, I hope!

[NeroW]

My ex-boyfriend (whose face, thank God, grows more and more dim with every passing day) claimed to be "allergic" or was seriously opposed to the following:

ALL fruits and ALL vegetables. All . No salads. No juices. No side of broccoli. No haricots verts. No ragouts. No roasted vegetable pasta. No fresh summer tomato with salt. Nothing . He said that fruits and vegetables made his throat swell up.

He ate no chocolate. He ate NO cheese, not even processed cheese food slices or Colby or string cheese, much less any "weird" cheese I might have had lying around. Wine. Caramel. Yogurt. Hard liquor, which was too bad, because he drove me to drink. Condiments other than ketchup, and that only with French fries, and those only McDonald's-type cut: no crinkle-cut or shoestring potatoes for him, he claimed the texture became too "mealy." This excluded hash browns or American fries or baked potatoes or mashers from his diet as well. A piece of potato that had been fried had also better not have any skin left on it--potato skin was a no-no. Bread in most incarnations--he'd order a hamburger, and eat only the meat. He'd eat brown-cardboard toast at breakfast joints with horrid fake jelly, but turn his nose up at my mother's sublime homemade bread.

He would Not Eat Butter--he wouldn't even buy butter for me to eat at his house. No pickles. No onion. All meat except plain grilled chicken breasts and hamburger patty was "gross" to him. He would not eat a piece of chicken that had been flavored in ANY way--even with lemon juice (no lemon! makes my throat swell up!) or olive oil (no! it has olives in it!) He would not eat roast chicken. He would not even eat ground beef, i.e., on nachos. He would not eat bacon, he would not eat roast beef, he would not eat sausage. He would not eat Thanksgiving turkey, or its stuffing. He would not eat Easter ham. The mere idea of getting him to try fish or seafood, or goose/duck/lamb/organ meats, or a freaking-ass pork chop, or even a piece of dark-meat chicken, was laughable. He'd never had a piece of steak--ANY steak--in his life. Barbecue sauce was out. Teriyaki? No way. No soy sauce. Fish sauce never crossed his mind once. Garlic--that's a laugh too, to think of him eating anything that garlic had even been near. Ever. Pasta: he would eat my homemade macaroni and cheese and my mother's lasagna, but that's all. No spaghetti. No ravioli. No noodle that was shaped unlike an elbow or a piece of toiletpaper.

He would not eat bagels. Cream cheese? Hah! Eggs were off-limits for him (another "allergy"). I used to thoroughly disgust him (through his mouthful of brown-cardboard toast) at breakfast joints by mopping up my runny egg yolk with my American fries. Salt and pepper, even, were "strange." Chutneys or jams or salsas were out. He wouldn't even eat junk food--oh wait, Doritos. He liked those. And Cheetos. He didn't drink coffee or tea or pop.

He DID eat: takeout Chinese from one particular place--but only Sweet/Sour chicken--no egg rolls, nothing that was "hidden." Plain. White. Rice. Tofu (??) The aforementioned Doritos and Cheetos. Grilled chicken breast. He used to come over to my house to grill enough chicken and make enough rice to last him an entire week, and mix it with taco sauce (NOT salsa). At. Every. Meal. He drank water, Corona (NO other beer) or Gatorade. The green kind.

He makes me, needless to say, want to puke.

Nothing will seem embarrassing or annoying after him. No one. Nothing.

EDIT: to say FritzBrenner, remember him?

Edited April 14, 2003 by NeroW (log)

[tommy]

What about the people who always, always insist that I order the wine, even when I frankly say I have no competence (I don't know my way around Italian lists, for example), but then complain?  "Ooh, it's a bit dry isn't it?"

HA! i did this to wilfrid once (long after this thread/post). he ordered a chinon, for my benefit i suppose, and i noted several times how horrible it was. not that i was blaming *him* or anything. but, i suppose that pissed him off.

this is quite a blast from the past.

[Wilfrid]

Fuddermucker.

[SobaAddict70]

Did he like green eggs and ham?

On a plane?

On a train?

Sam I am, I like my green eggs and ham.

Thank god you got rid of your ex.

Cheers,

Soba

[Schielke]

My ex-boyfriend (whose face, thank God, grows more and more dim with every passing day) claimed to be "allergic" or was seriously opposed to the following:

ALL fruits and ALL vegetables.  All .  No salads.  No juices.  No side of broccoli.  No haricots verts.  No ragouts.  No roasted vegetable pasta.  No fresh summer tomato with salt.  Nothing .  He said that fruits and vegetables made his throat swell up. 

He ate no chocolate.  He ate NO cheese, not even processed cheese food slices or Colby or string cheese, much less any "weird" cheese I might have had lying around.  Wine.  Caramel.  Yogurt.  Hard liquor, which was too bad, because he drove me to drink.  Condiments other than ketchup, and that only with French fries, and those only McDonald's-type cut: no crinkle-cut or shoestring potatoes for him, he claimed the texture became too "mealy."  This excluded hash browns or American fries or baked potatoes or mashers from his diet as well.  A piece of potato that had been fried had also better not have any skin left on it--potato skin was a no-no.  Bread in most incarnations--he'd order a hamburger, and eat only the meat.  He'd eat brown-cardboard toast at breakfast joints with horrid fake jelly, but turn his nose up at my mother's sublime homemade bread. 

He would Not Eat Butter--he wouldn't even buy butter for me to eat at his house.  No pickles.  No onion.  All meat except plain grilled chicken breasts and hamburger patty was "gross" to him.  He would not eat a piece of chicken that had been flavored in ANY way--even with lemon juice (no lemon! makes my throat swell up!) or olive oil (no! it has olives in it!)  He would not eat roast chicken.  He would not even eat ground beef, i.e., on nachos.  He would not eat bacon, he would not eat roast beef, he would not eat sausage.  He would not eat Thanksgiving turkey, or its stuffing.  He would not eat Easter ham.  The mere idea of getting him to try fish or seafood, or goose/duck/lamb/organ meats, or a freaking-ass pork chop, or even a piece of dark-meat chicken, was laughable.  He'd never had a piece of steak--ANY steak--in his life.  Barbecue sauce was out.  Teriyaki?  No way.  No soy sauce.  Fish sauce never crossed his mind once.  Garlic--that's a laugh too, to think of him eating anything that garlic had even been near.  Ever.  Pasta: he would eat my homemade macaroni and cheese and my mother's lasagna, but that's all.  No spaghetti.  No ravioli.  No noodle that was shaped unlike an elbow or a piece of toiletpaper.

He would not eat bagels.  Cream cheese?  Hah!  Eggs were off-limits for him (another "allergy").  I used to thoroughly disgust him (through his mouthful of brown-cardboard toast) at breakfast joints by mopping up my runny egg yolk with my American fries.  Salt and pepper, even, were "strange."  Chutneys or jams or salsas were out.  He wouldn't even eat junk food--oh wait, Doritos.  He liked those.  And Cheetos.  He didn't drink coffee or tea or pop. 

He DID eat: takeout Chinese from one particular place--but only Sweet/Sour chicken--no egg rolls, nothing that was "hidden."  Plain.  White.  Rice.  Tofu (??)  The aforementioned Doritos and Cheetos.  Grilled chicken breast.  He used to come over to my house to grill enough chicken and make enough rice to last him an entire week, and mix it with taco sauce (NOT salsa).  At.  Every.  Meal.  He drank water, Corona (NO other beer) or Gatorade.  The green kind.

He makes me, needless to say, want to puke.

Nothing will seem embarrassing or annoying after him.  No one.  Nothing.

EDIT: to say FritzBrenner, remember him? 

Damn.

I would have whacked him with a frying pan long ago. I wonder how he came to be such a picky person.

Ben

[KateW]

OMG NeroW! You dated my boyfriend!

Seriously..my boyfriend isn't that bad, but close. He won't eat anything with bones still in it. No onions, no vegetables except canned corn or corn on the cob, or peas. Gourmet to him is chicken parmagiana from Olive Garden, but he hates going there because it's too fancy for him. No alcohol, except a Mike's hard lemonade once in a while. He used to only eat processed cheese, but now likes some of my "weird" cheese like Havarti with dill, or pepper Jack cheese. He says he's allergic to yogurt. Nothing too spicy. No tomatoes in the chili. No tofu. He does, however, like rice if it is mixed in with whatever sauce the protein is served with. (Gravy, or mixed with the General Gau's chicken, which is all he will eat from a Chinese place.) He too would get grossed out by things like mopping up egg yolks with toast, or getting ketchup out of a bottle with a knife. On our first date, I was so nervous I shredded my paper straw wrapper onto the table and learned years later how much it bugged him. Playing with food, or anything to do with food, totally creeps him out. He can't even watch me cut up raw chicken for dinner (Chicken Helper, of course).

The only difference is, he doesn't try to enforce his habits on me, like you indicated about the butter. In fact, he bought margarine the other day for his new apartment and bought butter sticks for me :) This was after I unsuccessfully tried to explain to him why margarine is bad. Fruit, he will eat apples...and that's about it. He thinks granola bars are healthy. He also thinks diet soda is good for you. I try to explain that "good for you" and "not as bad as the other stuff" are two different things.

Another difference between you and me NeroW...I am still dating this guy. But we'll see how long that lasts

[NeroW]

KateW

Don't worry. Your boyfriend sounds a lot less picky than my ex was.

Plus, I could've (maybe) overlooked his bizarro eating habits if he'd been a nice person.

I quickly realized he wasn't.

Now, I filter them. A few months back there was a boy I wouldn't date because he didn't eat after 8 o'clock at night.

EDIT: to say that this may seem callous or petty, but to me, it's not. It's more important to me than religious affiliation (but not political )

Edited April 14, 2003 by NeroW (log)

[KatieLoeb]

NeroW:

That guy wouldn't have lasted long with me. Picky eaters are a pet peeve of mine and I try not to have them as either friends or S.O.'s. I love to dine out (and in) much too much to let someone else cramp my style that way. I assume he must have had, how shall I say this, other redeeming qualities???

On a side note - best line I ever heard was woman getting hit on in a bar by a jerk that just wouldn't take no for an answer. She finally looked him right in the eye and said, " Can you hammer a railroad spike through a two-by-four with your penis?"

"No"

"Well sorry then. A girl's gotta have her standards..."

[fimbul]

A few years back, before I even became as food-addled as I am now, I dated a girl who, one night as I was describing to her the most magical cheeseburger I'd ever had, asked in an exasperated voice, "How can you care so much about *food*?" I think that might have been the first time I ever realized that some people were just going to be incomprehensible to me, no matter how well I tried to get to know them.

She was not quite as picky as NeroW's ex, though. I'm sure I once saw her eat nearly raw bacon. That has to count for something, right?

[KateW]

Now, I filter them.  A few months back there was a boy I wouldn't date because he didn't eat after 8 o'clock at night.

There is actually something I read once where you shouldn't eat past 8 or 10 or something because your body doesn't metabolise it as well and you gain more weight. But I don't follow that.

[fimbul]

She finally looked him right in the eye and said, " Can you hammer a railroad spike through a two-by-four with your penis?"

"No"

"Well sorry then. A girl's gotta have her standards..." 

Is... Is that from Real genius? I can hear it, but I can't place it in a movieland context.

Well, obviously, I have to watch Real Genius tonight. O well. It was inevitable, I suppose.

Edited April 14, 2003 by fimbul (log)

[NeroW]

Now, I filter them.  A few months back there was a boy I wouldn't date because he didn't eat after 8 o'clock at night.

There is actually something I read once where you shouldn't eat past 8 or 10 or something because your body doesn't metabolise it as well and you gain more weight. But I don't follow that.

No, this will never work. That would mean no eating after the bar closes.

No midnight snack.

fimbul, bacon in any form counts for something!

[KatieLoeb]

Is... Is that from Real genius?  I can hear it, but I can't place it in a movieland context.

That makes this chick I overheard in the bar much less amusing on her own, I guess. Her timing for using the line, however unoriginal, still remains impeccable though.

Edited April 14, 2003 by KatieLoeb (log)

[fimbul]

That makes this chick I overheard in the bar much less amusing on her own, I guess. 

I dunno, fending off stray males by quoting nerdy movies is pretty amusing in my book, though it's perhaps not as clever as coming up with that criterion on one's own.

But, hell, if she'd taken herself hostage to get away, a la Blazing Saddles, I'd be madly in love.

[malarkey]

Now, I filter them.  A few months back there was a boy I wouldn't date because he didn't eat after 8 o'clock at night.

not to mention he'd be a drag in europe, where most restaurants don't even open till 8pm or later.

its not petty or callous, Nerow. you are simply stating things as they are for you. I will never NEVER again be with a picky eater, and my own saga of picky-eater-boyfriend isn't nearly as painful as yours. but it was painful ;-) and he didn't last. I just can't be with someone like that. cramps my style WAY too much.

[maggiethecat]

My ex-boyfriend (whose face, thank God, grows more and more dim with every passing day)

Oh Babe:

I can now understand your capacity for beer! THis guy sounds like a nightmare! Er, He must have had major talent in other areas.

I have friends with serious, ridiculous food issues, but this litany amazes me. I think it was where you got to the toast that I made the sign of the cross.

Loving food is a religious affiliation!

[NeroW]

Now, I filter them.  A few months back there was a boy I wouldn't date because he didn't eat after 8 o'clock at night.

not to mention he'd be a drag in europe, where most restaurants don't even open till 8pm or later.

its not petty or callous, Nerow. you are simply stating things as they are for you. I will never NEVER again be with a picky eater, and my own saga of picky-eater-boyfriend isn't nearly as painful as yours. but it was painful ;-) and he didn't last. I just can't be with someone like that. cramps my style WAY too much.

Thank you, malarkey. When FritzBrenner and I are in charge of dinner (when aren't we, with our group), everyone jokes about the "European dinner hour."

After re-reading this thread, I can't say I've eaten in fine enough places to have been embarrassed by my companions! Ordering wine? Pshaw.

Although, when we dined in France, I am CERTAIN I embarrassed Fritz. Perhaps she'll share . . .

[hjshorter]

Wow, NeroW. How did you keep from killing him?

Every single guy I dated up until Scott, my husband, was a picky eater. One hated tomatoes. One hated mayonnnaise. Mushrooms, vegetables, fruit, chocolate, fish, seafood...seen it all. I even dated a man who hated ice cream, for pete's sake. But your story beats all.

[torakris]

I had lunch last summer with a fellow American who has actually lived in Japan for longet then I have. She reads no Japanese and has about a 30 word vocabulary

The msnus were written in Japanese (of course) and italian (Italian restaurant), so first off she asks me to translate the entire menu for her, this was no biggie, then the waitress comes over and she starts to complain that her water has too much water in it, the napkins are too big, etc, really unbelievable stuff and she is doing this all in ENGLISH! so the waitress is standing there with a blank look on her face and friend insists I translate since her point is obviously not getting through. Then she tries to order, again in English, but of course can't possibly eat the food with out making about a hundred changes all of which I have to explain, the meal was a nightmare. I felt so sorry for the poor waitress and copletely embarrassed for myself. On the way out I aplogized to the waitress and gave her a big "otsukaresamadeshita" which means thank you for all your hard work/perserverance!

I sort of blew this woman off and hadn't heard from her until about a month ago, when she called me from inside a taxi because she wanted to know the name of a specific Japanese dish (tonkatsu) so she could tell the driver. She then proceed to gab for about 20 minutes sharing with me everything that has happened since I last saw her. SHe finally says, I guess I should get off the phone now because I am using the taxi driver's cell phone! I hope he charged her for it!

[HungryChris]

I once went on a company ski trip and got paired up with a guy who let the waitress know at a place I frequented (Nikkis at Okemo base) that he wanted more water by tapping his water glass on the table to get her attention.

I went to dinner with a cooworker who had a $16 glass of cognac after a $30 lobster dish to my $5.95 sandwich and wanted to split the bill when it came time to "settle up".

[DaveFaris]

I know I get pretty danged annoyed when they keep bringing those carts around while I'm trying to enjoy my dimsum.

[Xanthippe]

My ex-boyfriend (whose face, thank God, grows more and more dim with every passing day)

Oh Babe:

I can now understand your capacity for beer! THis guy sounds like a nightmare! Er, He must have had major talent in other areas.

I have friends with serious, ridiculous food issues, but this litany amazes me. I think it was where you got to the toast that I made the sign of the cross.

Loving food is a religious affiliation!

Must chime in to add that NeroW must possess the patience of a saint -- Mr. Nightmare would have lasted mere seconds with me!!

In my wild and crazy youth, before I met Socrates, I would indeed "filter" out any male with whom I could not establish a food connection. Not worth my time and trouble. Then Soc. came along, as passionate about food as could possibly be; that fact, coupled with his terrible puns, helped win my heart.

We celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary yesterday . . .

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

Anybody who finds it more satisfying to argue with their ex on a cell phone in a temple of gastronomy as opposed to succumbing to the experience is always going to set me off. Screw you Mr. 10-10-220, 666 upside down cross! Unfortunately, this is all too common. Cell phones should be banned if the restaurant has more than one Michelin star or scores better than 15 on gault milleu

Edited April 15, 2003 by Chef/Writer Spencer (log)

[torakris]

Anybody who finds it more satisfying to argue with their ex on a cell phone in a temple of gastronomy as opposed to succumbing to the experience is always going to set me off.  Screw you Mr. 10-10-220, 666 upside down cross!  Unfortunately, this is all too common.  Cell phones should be banned if the restaurant has more than one Michelin star or scores better than 15 on gault milleu

Cell phones are banned in most Japanese restaurants, even the Denny's type ones!

They are also banned in trains and there are quite heavy fines if one is caught talking and driving!