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Bacon Aphorisms

Fat Guy

By Fat Guy
in Food Traditions & Culture

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aliwaks

aliwaks

Posted
Posted

A direct quote from my freind Zach..."Bacon is not merely food its a necessity it's like air"

"sometimes I comb my hair with a fork" Eloise

Cusina

Cusina

Posted
Posted

I just knew you all would appreciate this...

BACON - A Los Angeles librarian reports she finally found it necessary to revoke a gentleman's library card. Because her repeated letters to him, telephone calls, and face-to-face pleas still failed to break him of the peculiar habit of using strips of raw bacon as bookmarks.

-Boyd's Book of Odd Facts

What's wrong with peanut butter and mustard? What else is a guy supposed to do when we are out of jelly?

-Dad

  • 6 months later...
Cusina

Cusina

Posted
Posted

vive la bacon!

What's wrong with peanut butter and mustard? What else is a guy supposed to do when we are out of jelly?

-Dad

Cusina

Cusina

Posted
Posted

pssst... cansel, the red letters in a post means that if you click on that spot it will take you to the link

Welcome to eGullet :)

What's wrong with peanut butter and mustard? What else is a guy supposed to do when we are out of jelly?

-Dad

cansel

cansel

Posted
Posted
pssst... cansel, the red letters in a post means that if you click on that spot it will take you to the link

Welcome to eGullet :)

heh

Yeah that's part of learning I guess - missing the obvious.

Thank you (:

Candace (:
fifi

fifi

Posted
Posted

The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea

In a beautiful pea-green boat:

They took some honey,

and plenty of money

Wrapped up in a five-pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,

And sang to a small guitar,

"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,

What a beautiful Pussy you are,

You are,

You are!

What a beautiful Pussy you are!"

Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,

How charmingly sweet you sing!

Oh! let us be married;

too long we have tarried:

But what shall we do for a ring?"

They sailed away, for a year and a day,

To the land where the bong-tree grows;

And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,

With a ring at the end of his nose,

His nose,

His nose,

With a ring at the end of his nose.

"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling

Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."

So they took him away, and were married next day

By the Turkey who lives on the hill.

They dined on bacon and more slices of bacon,

Which they ate with a runcible spoon;

And hand in hand on the edge of the sand

They danced by the light of the moon,

The moon,

The moon,

They danced by the light of the moon.

(I have always wanted to have them eat that damn pig.)

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

fifi

fifi

Posted
Posted
What's a runcible spoon?

Beats the hell out of me. I have always wondered. I think it is something like a spork.

This is the only poem that I can recite from memory. I do it at inappropriate times to aggravate my kids. "Oh God! She is going to recite The Owl and the Pussycat!" :laugh::raz:

Linda LaRose aka "fifi"

"Having spent most of my life searching for truth in the excitement of science, I am now in search of the perfectly seared foie gras without any sweet glop." Linda LaRose

enrevanche

enrevanche

Posted
Posted (edited)
What's a runcible spoon?

Beats the hell out of me. I have always wondered. I think it is something like a spork.

"Runcible" is just a word that Edward Lear made up, as he was wont to do.

Here's more on the subject from that estimable fellow, Cecil Adams (author of The Straight Dope columns.)

Edited to correct bonehead formatting errors.

Edited by enrevanche (log)

enrevanche <http://enrevanche.blogspot.com>

Greenwich Village, NYC

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

- Mark Twain

Susan G

Susan G

Posted
Posted

"Veni, vedi, vici the whole hog"

"Fiat sequestra, ruat caelum.........the bacon's missing"

"Her price was above a rasher of hickory-smoked bacon"

I'm a canning clean freak because there's no sorry large enough to cover the, "Oops! I gave you botulism" regrets.

alikat

alikat

Posted
Posted

Who can forget this showstopper from The Sound of Breakfast:

Raindrops on bacon

And bacon on kittens

Bright crispy bacon

And warm bacon mittens

Brown bacon packages tied up with strings

Bacon is one of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with pink bacon sashes

Bacon grease smeared

On my nose and eyelashes

Silvery bacon that melts in the pan

I must eat bacon whenever I can

When the dog eats

All my bacon

And I'm feeling sad

I simply remember

There's more in the fridge

And then I don't feeeeel

Soooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Hard words break no bones, fine words butter no parsnips.--fortune cookie.

phaelon56

phaelon56

Posted
Posted

The only thing better than bacon and eggs is bacon and bacon

Paraphrased from "the only thing better than meat 'n potatoes is meat 'n meat" - damned if I can recall where I heard it).

Attributed to pop/schlock/philosopher Alan Watts:

"The mystery of bacon is not a question to be answered - it is a reality to be experienced."

tanabutler

tanabutler

Posted
Posted
Who can forget this showstopper from The Sound of Breakfast:

Raindrops on bacon

And bacon on kittens

Bright crispy bacon

And warm bacon mittens

Brown bacon packages tied up with strings

Bacon is one of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with pink bacon sashes

Bacon grease smeared

On my nose and eyelashes

Silvery bacon that melts in the pan

I must eat bacon whenever I can

When the dog eats

All my bacon

And I'm feeling sad

I simply remember

There's more in the fridge

And then I don't feeeeel

Soooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaad!

Hilaaaaaaaaaaarious! Good work!

Toliver

Toliver

Posted
Posted
The only thing better than bacon and eggs is bacon and bacon

Paraphrased from "the only thing better than meat 'n potatoes is meat 'n meat" - damned if I can recall where I heard it).

It's from a Budweiser radio commercial "Mr. Over-the-Top-Carb-Counter" and is a hoot and a half (and is my current signature).

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

Chad

Chad

Posted
Posted

From the famous Meat Generation poet Allen "BLT" Ginsberg:

Oink

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the streets at dawn looking for bacon"

Okay, it's not an aphorism, but I like it better than the original.

Chad

Chad Ward

An Edge in the Kitchen

William Morrow Cookbooks

www.chadwrites.com

NeroW

NeroW

Posted
Posted
From the famous Meat Generation poet Allen "BLT" Ginsberg:

Oink

"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the streets at dawn looking for bacon"

Okay, it's not an aphorism, but I like it better than the original.

Chad

OK. This (and the Sound of Music bacon song) is the funniest thing I have read on eG in a long time.

Noise is music. All else is food.

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