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Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans


mamster
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Many of you, I expect, have read the Harry Potter books and are familiar with Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, which are jelly beans in assorted flavors ranging from caramel to earwax. Well, last Christmas they turned into a real product, made of course by Jelly Belly, and I got some for Laurie's stocking. I didn't look closely at the package and figured they were just regular Jelly Bellys in a new pouch.

The beans ended up going into the pantry, which Laurie was cleaning out. She found the beans and handed them to me. I looked at them and noticed that while they include some of the regular Jelly Belly flavors, they also feature:

Black Pepper

Booger

Dirt

Ear Wax

Grass

Sardine

Spinach

Vomit

This had to be a joke, I figured, like those green slime candies that just taste like sugar or sour apple or something.

Jelly Belly is not big on jokes. I started with black pepper, which is made with real ground pepper (it's on the ingredient list). These are quite good. I moved on to dirt, which could not possibly taste more like real dirt, or at least like the smell of potting soil.

Sardine and spinach are similarly spot-on. Ear wax is just kind of vaguely nauseating (I mean, what would earwax taste like?), as is booger. Grass is okay but not strong enough. I think they may have been joking about vomit, since this pouch contained all the other flavors but not this one.

I'm going to FAO Schwartz tomorrow to see if they have more of these, which they'd better. I don't want to be reduced to buying them on eBay. But this is the coolest product of modern times. Laurie does not agree.

Matthew Amster-Burton, aka "mamster"

Author, Hungry Monkey, coming in May

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Every one I've tasted is spot on. My 4yo actually tasted a "vomit" and liked it. I didn't try it :biggrin:

I particularly liked the spinach, which had slight mint overtones.

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

Slow Food Saratoga Region - Co-Founder

Twitter - @docsconz

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I like these too-- even the pouch they come in is pretty cool!

"There is no worse taste in the mouth than chocolate and cigarettes. Second would be tuna and peppermint. I've combined everything, so I know."

--Augusten Burroughs

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When I was in France, absentmindedly eating these out of the pouch on a bus, I got a vomit one.

:wacko:

Noise is music. All else is food.

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I had then behind the bar for a while sort of a try your luck game...the first one to take a bean (one of my servers) got vomit I managed to only try grass, black pepper (LOVED IT & candied pink peppercorns to garnish a panna cotta as the result) & cherry subsequentially others had booger & ear wax with alarming consistency

"sometimes I comb my hair with a fork" Eloise

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Ear wax is just kind of vaguely nauseating (I mean, what would earwax taste like?),

Guy from Jelly Belly was on tv last night - said they used bitters with worcestershire for this one, after not getting any good ideas after sampling from his own ears!

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  • 2 years later...

Delete 

Edited by kdl1221
Delete (log)

~K

Thank you as well for the conversational haitus. I generally refrain from speach during gustation. There are those who attempt both at the same time. I find it coarse and vulgar.

Big Dan Teague

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

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Grr...I still haven't managed to get my hands on these. My friend told me that rotten egg is the most foul of them all.

Some friends and I are planning a Harry Potter-themed Halloween party, and these will DEFINITELY be on the table. Muahahahaha....

FYI, they are available on Amazon.

Edited to clarify improper use of singular noun. :huh:

Edited by Jennifer Iannolo (log)

Jennifer L. Iannolo

Founder, Editor-in-Chief

The Gilded Fork

Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Home of the Culinary Podcast Network

Never trust a woman who doesn't like to eat. She is probably lousy in bed. (attributed to Federico Fellini)

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Grr...I still haven't managed to get my hands on these.  My friend told me that rotten egg is the most foul of them all.

Some friends and I are planning a Harry Potter-themed Halloween party, and these will DEFINITELY be on the table.  Muahahahaha....

FYI, they are available on Amazon.

Edited to clarify improper use of singular noun.  :huh:

Just did a quick Google and they are available from Jelly Belly here:

http://jellybelly.com/Cultures/en-US/Shop/...ory=BertieBotts

Dave Valentin

Retired Explosive Detection K9 Handler

"So, what if we've got it all backwards?" asks my son.

"Got what backwards?" I ask.

"What if chicken tastes like rattlesnake?" My son, the Einstein of the family.

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  • 2 months later...

I just posted this over at GM, but I simply had to come here and share, because it was such a fabulous experience, IMO:

Well, I just sampled Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. My friend brought them over and we did a little degustation.

I found the "Dirt" flavor to have the most profoundly accurate taste (aside from Pepper, but that's an easy one) -- it was like fresh potting soil. Bloody brilliant.

Rotten egg was...rotten. I could only take a little nibble, and had to spit out the rest because my gag reflex kicked in. Ear wax and sardine were equally foul.

Vomit was milder than I expected, but grass was right on target.

All in all, I reveled in the delight of feeling ten years old again as we giggled at the genius of these disgusting little treats.

Yes, I giggled. Somewhere, Satan is putting on a coat. Thank you, J.K. Rowling. :smile:

Jennifer L. Iannolo

Founder, Editor-in-Chief

The Gilded Fork

Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Home of the Culinary Podcast Network

Never trust a woman who doesn't like to eat. She is probably lousy in bed. (attributed to Federico Fellini)

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I was unfornately naive and thought a co-worker had regular jelly beans on her desk. Of course, I would have to pick the worst one of the pack, vomit. I put in my mouth, bit down, and walked a few steps before I realized what the hell I was tasting. I promptly spit it out in the trash while everyone around me got a good laugh. Every since then I've been a bit leery of trying them again. I might enjoy the other flavors but umm... somehow my memory of them are now forever tainted. :hmmm:

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Onigiri, be glad you didn't grab the Rotten Egg flavor. That's all I'm sayin'.

:blink:

Edited by Jennifer Iannolo (log)

Jennifer L. Iannolo

Founder, Editor-in-Chief

The Gilded Fork

Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Home of the Culinary Podcast Network

Never trust a woman who doesn't like to eat. She is probably lousy in bed. (attributed to Federico Fellini)

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