INSIDE THE BEARD HOUSE!

[bourdain]

Regular readers of egullet will know of my ambivalence on the subject of the Beard House. But friendship makes its own rules--and when Matt Moran of Sydney's ARIA restaurant called to say he'd be doing an event there and needed some help, I was of course happy to do what I could. I offered my services as prep-dog and brow-mopper--and put together a small additional crew to augment his. From Florida, I dragged my old sous-chef, STEVEN to serve as debrouillard, from the newly opened CASSIS in NYC (formerly L'Orange Blue), I recuited the frighteningly talented MAURICE HURLEY, and in the spirit of Old Home Week, brought along BETH ARETSKY (aka THE GRILL BITCH). The Aussie A-Team consisted of BEN, a very skillful former Ramsay protege, GREG--who apparently interrupted his wanderings in Bangkok to fly over and help out--and another kid-whose name I sadly forget--but who had dark rings under his eyes and an air of fatigue--possibly from the previous evenings debauch at Bellevue and Siberia.

Much of the raw material was brought in from Down Under and we arrived in the Beard House's small but workable kitchen and got to work--the Aussies doing the heavy-hitting, the Yanks providing back-up.

THE MENU:

Passed hors d'oevres of:

Oysters with Champagne Jelly and Ocean Trout Roe (really good--the jelly keeping the oysters fresh and shiny and moist)

Seared Sesame Crusted Tuna with Seaweed (served in the ever-popular Asian spoons)

Roasted Lamb Loin Crostini with Eggplant Relish (delicious)

Greg Norman Sparkling NV

Followed by:

Peking Duck Consomme with Shaved Abalone, Star Ravioli and Asian Mushrooms

Yalumba Reisling 2001

Pan Fried King Prawns (Mammoth sized) with St Maure de Touraine Tortellini, Corn Puree and Burnt Butter Vinaigrette

Rosemount Hunter Valley Show Reserve Chardonnay 2001

Wild Barramundi with Watercress and Hazelnut Salad, White Bean Puree, and Red Wine Sauce (the Barramundi--from Australia but brought in by Peirless--was said by Moran to be better than the stuff he gets there)

Giant Steps Old Bridge Cellars Pinot Noir 2001

Roasted Cumin-Crusted Lamb Rack with Pumpkin and Mustard Fruit Puree, Taglierini and Baby Leeks (not usually a fan of Aussie lamb over Colorado--this was an exception. Plump, tasty)

Torbreck the Stedding Grenache Shiraz Mataro 2001

Crispy Date Cigar with Lemon Cream, Pears and Pistachio Ice Cream--garnished with mint sprouts (the cigars didn't make the trip well--a bit soggy)

Execution was (naturally) flawless--with 85 meals drilled out in good time and good order. The kitchen was crowded with externs from culinary schools, and gawking guests, journos and functionaries passing to and fro, lingering on their way to the tables. The crowd was...as it so often is..was in aggragate fairly advanced in age. After thousands of miles in travel, and hours of toil, no doubt spectacular expenses, the last plates went out and Matt and triumphant crew were summoned to the upstairs dining room to receive the customary accolades and answer questions.

First Question: " I'd a thought there'd be like Kangaroo or Koala on the menu. Why not?"

Second Question (different guest): " These Australian wines are really good. How come you can't GET them here?"

ANSWER from Moran" " You CAN get them here. In fact you can get these particular wines at Astor Liquors."

Third Question (same guy as second): "How come you can't GET them here?"

The triumphant Aussie/Yank kitchen cew adjourned to VERITAS where they were joined by the brilliant and volatile PHILIPPA COOKE of Melbourne's ONDINE restaurant, and Veritas chef SCOTT BRYAN for an evening of savage drinking and gossip. Prospects for next year's All-Koala Menu was a subject of pained and bemused discussion.

[Jinmyo]

Nice account, Tony.

I'm glad that the efforts were appreciated by the crowd.

[cdh]

Tony-

Thanks a lot for the behind-the-scenes take on the Beard House... I'd wanted to hear a bit more of the Kitchen Confidential treatment of that place. It is a pity that the audience is so geriatric there... but the food more often than not makes up for the fact that most of the crowd were old enough to have voted for Eisenhower and Kennedy. There are a few of us young Beard people... but only a few, unfortunately...

[Bux]

Tony-

Thanks a lot for the behind-the-scenes take on the Beard House...  I'd wanted to hear a bit more of the Kitchen Confidential treatment of that place.  It is a pity that the audience is so geriatric there... but the food more often than not makes up for the fact that most of the crowd were old enough to have voted for Eisenhower and Kennedy.  There are a few of us young Beard people... but only a few, unfortunately...

It might be interesting to hear more about Tony's ambivalence on the subject of the Beard House. It may go a ways toward explaining the crowd.

I daresay there were not many who voted for Eisnehower and Kennedy.

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

I've got corporate inspectors crawling up my you-know-what with flashlights and tweezers so I can't post today but I'd still like to know where in the hell Adam RLNU was for this event? Probably missed out on some tragically sexy boules...

[FlaJoe]

Tony,

I must say, next to the French Laundry episode, the show with the Aussie chefs in Melbourne was one of the best Cooks Tour's I have seen. Those guys were a trip! If you had half as much fun with them as it seemed, that must have been some experience.

Hopefully, there will be more Cooks Tour's in production. Aside from Molto Mario, its the only watchable show on the Food Network, these days.

[bilrus]

Aside from Molto Mario, its the only watchable show on the Food Network, these days.

FlaJoe,

With that attiude you will fit in here just fine.

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

Tony,

I must say, next to the French Laundry episode, the show with the Aussie chefs in Melbourne was one of the best Cooks Tour's I have seen.  Those guys were a trip!  If you had half as much fun with them as it seemed, that must have been some experience.

Hopefully, there will be more Cooks Tour's in production.  Aside from Molto Mario, its the only watchable show on the Food Network, these days.

Welcome FlaJoe...I agree with you on the Aussie show--mainly because I love a good pissy chef. But even the other Aussie show--the Road Warrior/Tetsuya offering--was grade A television.

Let's look at what Tony has done...no one comments on it, but it is the king of all ironies in my book....

He writes this book, a foul-mouth accounting of his life in a kitchen, the triumphs, pratfalls, and the "Steven would steal another restaurants food processor sometimes with the shallots still in it" admirations and kudos of his cohorts in crime. In the preface of that book--the old I'm nobody preface--he utterly mugs the Food Network's band of bandeliers. He promises never to become that vain. Calls Emeril Ewok-like long before there were CWSes following suit.

But then....He gets famous, he sells his ass to the evil empire and gets his own show. All of us cooks and chefs wince, hoping he delivers the goods, but leary of his success. And his first season is good--The French Laundry show being a gem of a program--but not Tony at his best. So then he gets another swipe at it with season 2...He, except for that campy NO show, hits homeruns every time. Now we're all singing his praises. What a brilliant thing. He flipped them the bird totally, spelled it out in no uncertain terms that the Food Network was a decaying root of washed out talent and then cozies up to them, slowly pushing them to get his way and then becomes a savior of the dying machine. Brilliant. That's why you got to like the guy...He's not fanny waxing anyone and he's got our respect--a Jedi Mind Trick of a feat. (Tony I want that all in twenties, delivered by a tall blonde with very few morals named Trixie or Nikki),

[foodie52]

Koala....a slow-moving critter, so there's no sport in hunting it. That's probably why the Aussies don't eat it....

You think?

[pixelchef]

Random factoid: when koalas are frightened, they fart (really).

Sorry, couldn't resist. I just find that hilarious.

[foodie52]

I spent a good half hour at a wild animal preserve outside of Melbourne, waiting to see a koala move.

Gassy too, huh? I guess they just don't qualify as "good eatin'".

Edited May 18, 2003 by foodie52 (log)

[Fat Guy]

the Beard House's small but workable kitchen

Vic, Vic, Vic . . . it's not like you to pull such a well-deserved punch. That Beard House kitchen positively sucks. It's the shame of the James Beard Foundation. What an insult it is to bring the greatest chefs from around the world into that place and make them cook in there. Every chef I've ever spoken to who has had to cook in that piece of crap kitchen has been shocked and awed by its run-down condition. Those who have experienced it once virtually never do anything in there again except apply last-second heat to food -- they beg for space in a real restaurant kitchen and get everything prepped and par-cooked before letting it traverse the Beard House DMZ for as little time as possible. Even someone like me, who is easily impressed by any restaurant kitchen at a higher level than Big Nick's Pizza & Burger Joint Too, found it borderline unworkable and all I had to do was fry some stuff.

[bourdain]

You're right. I pulled my punches.

[joiei]

I agree with Fat Guy, the kitchen sucks. I have helped with 3 dinners there, one of them a collaboration of Mark Bittman and Johnny Earles. The more you can have done before you walk in the door, the easier your dinner will go. There is a total lack of refridgeration space. And if you have a frozen dessert, you are almost out of luck. With all the money the foundation has, one would think they would upgrade the kitchen.

The Australian wines for the dinner, I have seen most of them here in Tulsa.

The best part of doing a Beard House dinner was eating at other restaurants around New York.

The age of my customers was never a big deal. As long as they had the money, that was all that mattered. And old farts tend to have more disposable income and are more willing to part with it.

[bourdain]

I sense the makings of a very interesting thread on the Beard Foundation.

For instance:

Where DOES all that money, corporate participation, dues, revenue, free labor, free food go?

Is there a library or resource facility or job data base or employment assistance for chefs, cooks or culinary students?

Maybe an assistance or legal counselling program for all the cooks in this country who need help with immigration status?

A scholarship program--in scale with revenue?

What are salaries and expenses of Beard employees/officers?

When Beardie pashas are say..visiting San Francisco--and have a nice meal at a restaurant and put it on their Beard card. Where's that money come from? Do they reimburse the Foundation? Or is that "research"?

Think there's some Kitchen Aids, Vulcans and Cervena lamb kicking around some private kitchens?

Are they considered a not-for-profit?

What is average cost/benefit to a restaurant who agrees to pay all expenses (labor, travel, food cost, lodging, dues) to cook at Beard House.? Is there then a commesurate rise in their business?

Who LIVES in that House anyway--and how much money do they NEED?

They're sure not spending it on the kitchen.

Edited May 18, 2003 by bourdain (log)

[Louisa Chu]

Quite a bit of money is available as scholarships - and some of that scholarship money went to me last year. The James Beard Foundation Scholarships.

OK, so they're not spending it on the kitchen - where do you think the money goes?

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

If nobody else does it I'm going to e-mail Bill O'reilly from The O'Reilly Factor. Can you see him getting indignant with The Beard Foundation a la The Red Cross after 9-11. I cinch up my doom then for sure. I'd never get that coveted Best New Chef award then.

[Fat Guy]

Can't answer all those questions, but I can hit a few:

A scholarship program--in scale with revenue?

Okay I can see that loufood posted this link in the time it took me to hit "reply." The total amount of scholarship money available looks rather small, maybe a couple of hundred thousand dollars if you add them all together (somebody can do the math; they're all listed). This is peanuts in an organization the size of the Beard Foundation. The thing is, that's not even the right comparison -- revenue v. scholarships -- because most of the scholarships appear from the listing to be financed by outside sources. That's what "memorial" usually means, for example -- somebody died and left money to finance a particular scholarship, usually in the form of an endowment large enough to throw off the right amount of interest each year to cover the scholarship plus administration expenses.

Are they considered a not-for-profit?

Their tax status is 501-c-3, so yes, they're a not-for-profit charitable organization in the eyes of the law.

What is average cost/benefit to a restaurant who agrees to pay all expenses (labor, travel, food cost, lodging, dues) to cook at Beard House.? Is there then a commesurate rise in their business?

For those who haven't been involved in these events, the ground rules are that the participating restaurant finances the meal (everything Vic listed above plus the participating restaurant usually buys every seat at one table at least, in order to invite media and friends of the restaurant) and the Beard House keeps the money that people pay to attend the dinner. It's usually, I think, $95 for members and $120 for guests, and they get maybe 70 people in there. I don't know who pays for the Beard House staffing costs for an event (there are some waiters and cleanup people involved), and of course the Beard House provides the facility. As for what restaurants get out of it, it's mostly intangible and I think it has more to do with media relations than anything else. Out-of-town chefs have a lot of trouble getting the attention of the national food media, which is pretty much all New York-based. That's the case even if you're right over the border in Connecticut or New Jersey, but it's even more daunting if you are, to take the example joiei gave, Johnny Earles from the Florida Panhandle aka Redneck Riviera. I always advise people in that position to come to New York and do Beard House dinners so they can buy a table and invite local food editors, because it makes my job easier when it comes time to pitch stories. So, for example, when I was pitching Food & Wine on a Redneck Riviera food piece, it was effective for me to be able to mention Johnny Earles's Beard House appearance -- that has currency in the world of glossy food magazines, which are the key to national recognition. Ditto the group of chefs from British Columbia who came down for an event: having a Beard House appearance on record can make the difference between an editor considering a story and dismissing the area as not nationally or internationally relevant. I also don't know whether participation in these events helps politically when it comes time for Beard Awards to be handed out, but there's no doubt winning one of those helps on the media-credibility front. There's not an exact analogy with the journalism awards -- about which I know a lot more than I know about the restaurant-and-chef awards -- but I can testify that winning a journalism award in 2002 got me hooked into some new sources of real, paying work -- in other words, editors I had never heard of were calling me to offer assignments. Even just getting a nomination this year was helpful in that regard.

Where DOES all that money, corporate participation, dues, revenue, free labor, free food go?

I have no idea where all of it goes, or how much of it there is, but I know there is money spent on publications and on the journalism awards (the other Awards are all sponsored by commercial interests).

[bourdain]

As a not-for-profit, the whole shebang--including salaries, "expenses", operating costs, disbursements should be public record. Any legal beagles out there? Somebody have LEXIS? Let's all have a thorough look!

As far as the Awards ceremony: All those nice folks doling out the food downstairs are working for free, yes? The labor and food donated.

And the awards themselves seem all to be preceded by a mini-commercial: "The Ronco Miracle Egg Scrambler Best Chef Hawaii-Alaska Award" and the signage seems to usually bear the imprint of AmEX or somebody else...Chefs and restaurants and the industry have been VERY generous over the years--yet what goes back to the industry--where it counts? I am very very pleased that there is significant scholarship money--but who gets it? What percentage comes directly from sponsors?

And how come--in an industry that is predominantly staffed by Mexican and Latino workers are the Awards ceremonies as nearly all-white as Dollywood? Is ANY money or activity directed at the people who are the backbone of the industry--you know the folks back home doing all all the cooking while Chef and sous and the white boys fly to New York to pucker up on 12th Street?

And how does membership break down--by demographic? WHO actually eats at the House. WHICH journalists actually show up--and at the end of the day--does it translate into useful publicity? I have seen precious little coverage anywhere emanating from either events at the House--or even about the Award winners. No question that it's a good thing if you win the Golden Sombrero. You bring honor to your clan. But Who votes? The members? Who ARE the members?Percentage of chefs/cooks/restaurateurs vs. "interested gourmets". When I last saw a ballot, I recall my amusement at voting for the Best Southwest category, for instance" " Oh yeah....I heard of him. I guess HE'S the best. I don't know these other guys." How does that work?

Let us assume the best--as a starting point. That the Beard Foundation is an important platform for talented chefs and culinary professionals--particularly those who live and work outside of the major cities.

But I can tell you that among many many chefs (even the winners), there is an undercurrent of deep suspicion and skepticism--even resentment for all the freebies over the years. I think a fair and full accounting here would be an important and useful thing.

Any help? Personal anecdotes? Reportage from our better connected journos?

This could put Daily Gullet on the map. heh heh heh.....

[Andy Lynes]

I can see it now:The Fall of The House of Beard by Steven Shaw (who will decidely not be nominated for a James Beard award for that article, should he ever choose to write it).

[bourdain]

Yeah!! C'mon, Shaw! I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Get digging journo-boy! Let's make news!

[Andy Lynes]

You've already got the title, so I've done the hard bit, now you just have to fill in the blank space beneath it.

[Chef/Writer Spencer]

the Beard House's small but workable kitchen

Just an observation....

It seems that the kitchen may indeed personify the personality of Mr. Beard.

A little rough around the edges, no Einstein, but solid in his world views. Maybe he'd want it that way...all broken down and cramped. He was an original that's for sure...

[FlaJoe]

I am a lawyer, although I am not practicing much right now. Most of my business is in the area of sports and entertainment consulting, but, I will try to find out as much as I can about their "Tax-Exempt" status.

Two things that have always confounded me about the Beard House, was their "creative accounting", and the antipathy so many chefs feel for the place.

How can you reconcile award "sponsors", with being a non-profit? Who, exactly, get the sponsorship revenue? Who gets the "freebies", the sponsors throw into the deal? Its been my professional experience that when you see this, a ton of people are cashing in. Those folks "cashing in", are never the truly needy, a la the United Way. The United Way is another non-profit, who for yrs. , had a CEO making $1 million per year, and having only about 15% of the revenues derived from their events, go to the needy. I have a feeling the Beard House may have a similar set up.

As far as the chefs are concerned, I have a lot of chefs friends. Comes from being a part of a resturant family in New Haven, while growing up. Also, helped that my dad had pretty active cards and craps games, for his friends in the industry on Monday nights, when his place was closed.

That said, chefs hate the place! More than one have told me the horror stories Tony, and others in this thread, describe.

Its really a shame. In this era of food and wine, enlightenment in this country, somebody is making a ton of money off the sweat of folks who are not seeing near enough of it.

If I was a hard working person in this industry, I'll be damned if I want to be paying for some blue bloods food excursions around the country.

If the organization really wants to do the "right thing", how about providing health insurance options for restaurant workers, or trying to assist in finding solutions to many of the problems facing the industry today? That would be a start.

[bourdain]

Fantastic! Of particular interest are salaries, operating costs and "expenses".

Any first hand stories from sommeliers (I've heard some good ones), chefs, restaurant managers, vendors?