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One-upmanship and snobbery among amateur cooks

Norm Matthews

By Norm Matthews
in Food Traditions & Culture

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Norm Matthews

Norm Matthews

Posted
Posted

Staff note: This post and responses to it were split from the Dinner 2025 conversation, to maintain topic focus.

 

My son has a friend that I have never met.  They talk on the phone mostly. Charlie told me he brags about how good his BBQ cooking is.  Charlie tells him that I do BBQ a lot and he thinks it is good.  The other guy blows it off, like he doesn't think it is possible for an old white guy in Kansas to be able to match what he can do.  Charlie said he's Puerto Rican.  He asked him if I cooked anything else.  Son said yes and that we had a crab boil recently. I don't know any of the details but apparently he is coming over for a crab boil with his girlfriend and they set up the date as Feb 28. He sent $30.00 to help cover the costs. When I do a crab boil for the two of us, I keep it pretty basic.  I hate contests. I'd never enter a cooking competition, specially not a BBQ.one. I guess now I'll have to do a complete crab boil and if the weather is mild enough, I'll probably do a slab of ribs too.  I hope he accepts that there are other people who can cook but if he says he doesn't like it, I won't care..much.

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http://normmatthews.blogspot.com/

KennethT

KennethT

Posted
Posted
40 minutes ago, Norm Matthews said:

My son has a friend that I have never met.  They talk on the phone mostly. Charlie told me he brags about how good his BBQ cooking is.  Charlie tells him that I do BBQ a lot and he thinks it is good.  The other guy blows it off, like he doesn't think it is possible for an old white guy in Kansas to be able to match what he can do.  Charlie said he's Puerto Rican.  He asked him if I cooked anything else.  Son said yes and that we had a crab boil recently. I don't know any of the details but apparently he is coming over for a crab boil with his girlfriend and they set up the date as Feb 28. He sent $30.00 to help cover the costs. When I do a crab boil for the two of us, I keep it pretty basic.  I hate contests. I'd never enter a cooking competition, specially not a BBQ.one. I guess now I'll have to do a complete crab boil and if the weather is mild enough, I'll probably do a slab of ribs too.  I hope he accepts that there are other people who can cook but if he says he doesn't like it, I won't care..much.

nothing worse than a pissing contest - especially from someone who hasn't even sampled the wares yet!  Personally, with that kind of attitude, I'd make him a tuna fish sandwich and call it a day, but I understand that he's your son's friend and you're a great dad so you don't want to step on anyone's toes.  With a guy like that (seemingly) I don't think anything you would do would make him change his mind.  Besides, why wouldn't a white guy in KC make good bbq?  KC is known for its bbq!!!

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Margaret Pilgrim

Margaret Pilgrim

Posted
Posted

I know what a good dad you are, and how far you'd go to support Charlie's honor!    But, personally, I would only address one challenge, the first, i.e., the crab boil.    I wouldn't give this "friend" another target.  Your crab boil will stand on its own!

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eGullet member #80.

Tropicalsenior

Tropicalsenior

Posted
Posted

@Norm Matthews I always look forward to seeing your posts. Your skill is evident and you obviously cook with love of the food and the people that you are preparing it for. I'd rather have an invitation to dinner with you and Charlie then any fancy restaurant that I could even think of. That creep doesn't realize how lucky he is.

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Yvonne Shannon

San Joaquin, Costa Rica

A member since 2017 and still loving it!

Norm Matthews

Norm Matthews

Posted
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Posted
16 hours ago, MaryIsobel said:

I'll try to keep this PG but what an ass! Reminds me of getting together with an old roommate of mine and her realtively new husband. I suggested a local restaurant but was told that her new husband was an "amazing cook" so we should eat at their house. Fine said I. Got there, were poured a glass of wine and were told that "John" was making us his warm shrimp and scallop spinach salad for out first course. As we stood around the kitchen, he added small shrimp and bay scallops to reduced white wine, shallots butter and garlic. Sounds good right? Then he said "let's go sit down, this takes about 40 minutes to cook... yup - beyond rubber.

I did that once.  I had a big party and invited members of the city arts council for a raku party.  I had a lot of different foods so one thing over cooked was not a big deal but I thought keeping the shrimp hot in liquid was a good idea.  Afterwards I found the shimp entirely unaten.  The raku party was  for the people to decorate bisque pottery then I'd fire it quickly and it would be ready to take home right then but it rained all day... ALL day and the kiln was outside. I had to fire them another time.

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