Food Products That Really Suck and Should Never Be Made

[weinoo]

OK - when you want to try and make a Beefeater Rickey on a plane, and you ask if there is any lime and the flight attendant says yes and brings you this, run for the hills...

Because you know what? It's not anything like fresh lime, young lady.

[Kim Shook]

Neither is the 'lemon'! I admit to using the reconstituted juice on occasion, but this stuff is NOTHING like the real thing.

[annabelle]

Beefeater Gin? If that's the best they can do, I'd pour 7-up in it and call it good.

[Hassouni]

Aw come on, Beefeater is quite decent

[Smithy]

At least you were able to experience the stuff in one "wedge-sized" package. I bought a bottle each of the lemon and lime, thinking they might make decent "in a pinch" substitutions for when we're traveling and run out of the real thing. I tend to be a purist about ingredients and never buy the bottled juices, but for trailer travel there can be a room issue. I figured that, at worst, I'd be out some 5 or 6 bucks - not a very expensive test. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do with this stuff - it certainly isn't a substitute, but it might make an interesting seasoning in its own right.

I'm amused by the nutritional info: OF COURSE there are "zero" (as in, less than 0.5)g of sugars and calories, when the entire packet's contents weight 0.8g. The bottle makes the same claim, because 1 serving is defined as 0.7g.

[weinoo]

Beefeater Gin? If that's the best they can do, I'd pour 7-up in it and call it good.

Aw come on, Beefeater is quite decent

Exactly...what's wrong with Beefeater?

[annabelle]

I don't like gin. I like Scotch. That's all.

[rotuts]

Bombay is after all better gin ....

[judiu]

Smithy, maybe lemon bars , key lime pie, something like that which doesn't need the fresh citrus flavour?

HTH!

[Unpopular Poet]

A "friend" of mine once thought he would do me a favor and instead of picking up limes and lemons, picked up some misting spray bottles of that lemon and lime type stuff above. Made a vodka soda taste like vodka furniture polish...absolutely delicious and fresh, if you are a maple table.

Here's a link

http://www.collinschicago.com/collinstm-flavor-sprays-lemon-twist-mist.html

Edited April 18, 2013 by Unpopular Poet (log)

[HungryC]

To me, fake crabmeat/crabstick falls into the same category as your lemon slice. An artificial, synthetic, industrial, inferior imitation of the original.

[Baselerd]

Maybe going to get some flak for this .. but I would say American cheese.

[weinoo]

Bombay is after all better gin ....

Stop.

To me, fake crabmeat/crabstick falls into the same category as your lemon slice. An artificial, synthetic, industrial, inferior imitation of the original.

Agree.

[huiray]

Maybe going to get some flak for this .. but I would say American cheese.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/04/dining/top-chefs-say-that-sometimes-only-supermarket-brands-will-do.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

:-)

[Simon Lewinson]

Maybe going to get some flak for this .. but I would say American cheese.

I would never use those two words in the same sentence, let alone same paragraph without a couple of expletives

Simon

[Mjx]

Any 'Irish cream' liqueur... that beige colour, like spackle. Blech.

Cheap, cruel, soul-destroying sweets that look pretty, but taste of nothing.

Salmon jerky.

[weinoo]

Any 'Irish cream' liqueur... that beige colour, like spackle. Blech.

Cheap, cruel, soul-destroying sweets that look pretty, but taste of nothing.

Salmon jerky.

Ostrich jerky, too... .

[SylviaLovegren]

A "friend" of mine once thought he would do me a favor and instead of picking up limes and lemons, picked up some misting spray bottles of that lemon and lime type stuff above. Made a vodka soda taste like vodka furniture polish...absolutely delicious and fresh, if you are a maple table.

Don't usually get LOLs on EG. Ha ha ha. Thanks!

[gfweb]

Maybe going to get some flak for this .. but I would say American cheese.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/04/dining/top-chefs-say-that-sometimes-only-supermarket-brands-will-do.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

:-)

Thanks for this excellent article. Really points out the nonsense at the heart of foodie-ism. As far as I'm concerned tasting good is all that counts. One can buy american cheese slices or jump through Modernist hoops to recreate it from scratch with artisinal badger milk...either way the same stuff.

[Smithy]

The checkout clerks at a grocery store we visited recently were trying out a new flavor of potato chip, I think, or possibly tortilla chip. I don't know whether it was only a test-market or a fully-marketed product, but either way I think it qualifies for this thread: the flavor, if you can call it that, was chicken and waffles. With syrup flavor included.

[dcarch]

Fatless Half & Half.

dcarch

[Ashen]

OK - when you want to try and make a Beefeater Rickey on a plane, and you ask if there is any lime and the flight attendant says yes and brings you this, run for the hills...

Limes?_2.jpg

Because you know what? It's not anything like fresh lime, young lady.

I agree it is not the same as fresh but I like both the lime and lemon version of this product . I add it to water at work where it is easier to use than fresh.. I also use it on meat when grilling . I put it on chicken drums that I have scored deeply and also seasoned with salt and pepper, then squeeze fresh lemon juice over while grilling. also sprinkle it on pork side ribs with a greek herb seasoning mix and let it sit for a few hrs in the fridge. then grill them fairly fast , squeezing fresh lemon wedges over the ribs during cooking. I have done the same technique without the real lemon and it doesn't have the same level of citrus taste at the end with just the lemon juice.

It is definitely not the right flavour to use in mixed drinks though.. I love a rum and coke with lime and it just doesn't do the trick.

Edited April 19, 2013 by Ashen (log)

[Mjx]

Any 'Irish cream' liqueur... that beige colour, like spackle. Blech.

Cheap, cruel, soul-destroying sweets that look pretty, but taste of nothing.

Salmon jerky.

Ostrich jerky, too... .

Actually that is (or at least can be) really good! Salmon jerky has this weird tannic effect, and is just miserable.

[ChrisTaylor]

Ostrich biltong is lekker.

[SylviaLovegren]

.

Salmon jerky.

Is there something called salmon jerky? The US Pacific NW aboriginal peoples make a dried smoked salmon thing that could be considered salmon jerky, but I find it delicious -- deeply flavored of smoky wood and chewy salmon.