Patrons with Tea bags

[lunatuna]

On a related note, what do people think about bringing one's own seasonings into dining establishments? I typically carry a small container of crushed red pepper in my purse, because I enjoy certain (okay, lots of) dishes with it, and have often not been able to get any from the waitstaff. (Plus, given that the black pepper available on the table tends to be no more than charcoal-colored sawdust, I often find food impossibly bland.) Since I'm not asking for any extra service, and am not bringing in, say, McDonald's fries, am I still being rude? Sure, certain chefs might be offended that I find their food bland--but is that the only etiquette problem involved?

Another scenario: what if I order a cup of coffee from one place, don't have time to drink it all, carry the to-go cup into a restaurant, continue to drink it, and thus do not order the restaurant's coffee?

Either I am very uncouth indeed or else the question of what's acceptable in this area is really quite murky. (Maybe both!) I say, if you are brought hot water for free to go with your own tea bag, just tip a little more.

[DCP]

On a related note, what do people think about bringing one's own seasonings into dining establishments?  I typically carry a small container of crushed red pepper in my purse, because I enjoy certain (okay, lots of) dishes with it, and have often not been able to get any from the waitstaff.  (Plus, given that the black pepper available on the table tends to be no more than charcoal-colored sawdust, I often find food impossibly bland.)  Since I'm not asking for any extra service, and am not bringing in, say, McDonald's fries, am I still being rude?  Sure, certain chefs might be offended that I find their food bland--but is that the only etiquette problem involved? 

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Good question. I knew a pastor about a decade ago who always carried a pepper mill in his pocket, and would offer it to dining companions. At the time, opinions were divided between 'pretentious' and 'clever'.

Certainly, there is no shortage of pocket pepper mills - I found models from Unicorn, Peugeot, etc. If this behavior is verboten, certainly no one has informed the vendors.

[KatieLoeb]

If you carry your to-go cup into another restaurant, continue to drink the coffee you paid for in another establishment and don't order coffee from the place you're in, they deserve to ask you to leave. And they don't even have to be polite, because at that point you're not merely uncouth, you're simply being rude. There's nothing murky about that at all. I sincerely hope you were joking when you proposed that scenario. If not, I'd respectfully ask that you don't visit anywhere that I'm working.

The seasoning issue is another matter. If I were a chef I'd probably be insulted, but then again, a lot of restaurants don't offer the courtesy of fresh ground pepper, or might not have red pepper flakes in their pantry because they don't use them in their cooking. I've worked with enough chefs to know that sometimes being under the hood in a commercial kitchen can lead to some level of oxygen deprivation and resultant mild brain damage. I'd be careful of cleaver wielding chefs that saw you seasoning your food with outside condiments/spices and implying that they weren't doing their jobs properly.

Do you ask for ketchup for your well done steak, perchance?

edited for harsh language and bad speling

Edited March 20, 2008 by KatieLoeb (log)

[Maitre D'Hell]

At my restaurant, we carry nine teas (granted, they're all Tazo, but it's better than just the old Lipton), and I would feel offended if a guest brought his or her own--especially since our tea service gets you a hot Tetsubin full of boiling water, honey/sugar/splenda, lemon, and cream...all brought with your tea cup on a platter. On the other hand, when guests try to walk in with Starbucks (or any other outside food/drink) I inform them that it's a "health code violation" (years ago, my manager at *big, tacky chain* told me to tell a guest this, and that it was true. Any one in the know with Virginia health code?).

[finnfann]

Wouldn't it be far more ideal to have them actually pour the boiling water over your own tea bag, as opposed to dunking into not-quite-hot-enough water (a considerable pet peeve of my tea-lovin' wife)?  But then of course, you've got to know the moment they poured it so you know how long you want it to steep.

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He's right that that's a particular peeve of mine, and fails to mention the other peeve -- that the not-quite-hot-enough water is served in the same carafe or mug that was just used for someone's coffee -- although I suppose that's off topic.

Plattetude's mother has taken to bringing her own teabags to restaurants after one too many experiences where the place has a lovely basket of herbal "tea" bags and all she wants is a cuppa plain black tea. On one occasion, the server remarked of her teabag (was it twinnings darjeeling or plain old Lipton, I'm not sure) "oh, you like cheap tea." To which, I believe, she responded "I like TEA."

Neither she nor I would have an issue paying the standard tea service price for the chance to use our own tea, but given my analness, I've just given up on having tea out, with limited exceptions.

-Plattetude's wife

[grayelf]

Fun topic, that actually addresses two issues that are pet peeves o' mine: 1) is the resto serving the tea "properly" -- pouring boiling water over the teabag in a receptacle devoted to tea making (not a coffee carafe or <shudder> a cup) and 2) do they offer a variety of teas including but not limited to "real" black tea? Things here in Vancouver are pretty good re variety but I still often run into the "here's your hottish water and separate tea bag" scenario. Perhaps they are worried about overstewing the tea? I generally find if I remember to ask ahead they will add the tea bag first. Being picky about both tea and coffee (often left sitting too long which is sad given all the coffee preservation options available these days) leads me to not order them as I prefer to end my meal on a high note. I don't know if I could bring myself to bring tea bags to a dinner out though.

The one exception to the bring your own tea bag scenario for me: I used to go to a resto that had a breakfast special that included a bottomless pot of tea or coffee. I would often spend a couple of hours there solving the world's problems with my brother, and would drink way too much caffeine (no decaf available, it was a greasy spoon after all). So I hit upon the idea of bringing my own decaf tea bags. Worked a treat, and the owners didn't seem to mind as it was the same amount of work and actually saved their teabags. I sure miss the Nemoto...

[gfweb]

.

The seasoning issue is another matter.  If I were a chef I'd probably be insulted, but then again, a lot of restaurants don't offer the courtesy of fresh ground pepper, or might not have red pepper flakes in their pantry because they don't use them in their cooking.  I've worked with enough chefs to know that sometimes being under the hood in a commercial kitchen can lead to some level of oxygen deprivation and resultant mild brain damage.  I'd be careful of cleaver wielding chefs that saw you seasoning your food with outside condiments/spices and implying that they weren't doing their jobs properly.

Do you ask for ketchup for your well done steak, perchance? 

edited for harsh language and bad speling

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I would comment that there are some cooks with no ability to season properly. Look at the various cooking competitions, Next Iron Chef/Top Chef etc. More than one of these hotshots has been ding-ed for improper seasoning. I don't carry my own spices and I'm not rude enough to scold a chef for badly seasoned food, but woe be to him if he has a problem with my correcting his mistakes.

Since when should it be assumed that the only competent palate is in a toque?

[plk]

There is bad food, bad coffee, bad tea, and poorly-seasoned food in many restaurants, but come on, the solution is not to bring in outside ingredients so that you can fix it yourself. The restaurant is not your home. The socially-acceptable responses are to say something and hope that something changes (it probably won't), live with it, order around the problem items, or go somewhere else.

[KatieLoeb]

Since when should it be assumed that the only competent palate is in a toque?

I'm neither assuming that nor saying it's true. But the implication of "correcting" the chef stands on its own. Think how insulted you'd be if someone came into your place of business and "corrected" whatever it is you do.

There is bad food, bad coffee, bad tea, and poorly-seasoned food in many restaurants, but come on, the solution is not to bring in outside ingredients so that you can fix it yourself. The restaurant is not your home. The socially-acceptable responses are to say something and hope that something changes (it probably won't), live with it, order around the problem items, or go somewhere else.

What I was saying, but far more eloquently. If you don't like the way the chef seasons the food, then you don't like the restaurant. Don't go back. Problem solved. And I would also state that if one complains about the seasonings, one should do so politely, not just for the sake of the chef's fragile ego, but because it isn't the server's fault and misdirecting your displeasure at them accomplishes nothing except pegging yourself as a high maintenance customer.

[Susie Q]

Depending on the occasion, the time, and the place I'm eating I have sat down and ordered a pot of or cup of tea. After it is served, I have on occasion, quietly and discretely, pulled out my own tea bags and used them. I've never had a server comment on it and I have always paid for the the tea service.

I do this, when it's late at night I want something hot but not with caffeine, or when presented with a basket full of nothing but fruity flavored teas. I don't make a big show of it. I'll also only do it if it is only just close friends at the table and I have extra to offer should they order tea too.

I never do it at a fine restaurant, nor if I am some one's guest at any restaurant, nor at a restaurant where the tea is brought already brewed. I won't do it at business meals or mixed groups (friends and others). I'd never do it at someone's home.

Although I love pure maple syrup and fresh ground pepper, I would never bring my own seasonings and condiments.

Edited March 21, 2008 by Susie Q (log)

[LoneFoodie]

We (restaurants) cannot be all things to all people.

Take your own teabags and be done with it. After 24 years in F&B, I simply do not see why this issue should be, well, an issue! Is it really that difficult for us to bring you a pot of water so you can enjoy your own tea? You're happy, good on ya', and how would you like your steak cooked? (Unless you're bringing me a raw cut of beef to cook for you...now we have an issue! )

[prasantrin]

What about water? Would it be bad to bring your own water? Or a beverage the restaurant doesn't carry?

My favourite burger place is a teeny tiny little shack that only has four beverages on the menu--coke (in a bottle), mineral water, ramune, and cold oolong tea. The mineral water is Y150/bottle, but I always have a refillable water bottle with me (I usually go to the burger place from the gym), so I usually just drink what's in my bottle.

Is that rude, too? I'm guessing yes, but I just can't bring myself to spend Y150 on bottled water, not to mention the guilt over wasting a plastic bottle...

And since they only have four beverages, none of which is root beer, could I bring my own root beer?

I've been thinking of asking if I could do that. I really like root beer, and there's no way a restaurant in Japan (other than the Hard Rock Cafe) is going to carry root beer.

[grayelf]

What about water?  Would it be bad to bring your own water?  Or a beverage the restaurant doesn't carry?

My favourite burger place is a teeny tiny little shack that only has four beverages on the menu--coke (in a bottle), mineral water, ramune, and cold oolong tea.  The mineral water is Y150/bottle, but I always have a refillable water bottle with me (I usually go to the burger place from the gym), so I usually just drink what's in my bottle.

Is that rude, too?  I'm guessing yes, but I just can't bring myself to spend Y150 on bottled water, not to mention the guilt over wasting a plastic bottle...

And since they only have four beverages, none of which is root beer, could I bring my own root beer?

I've been thinking of asking if I could do that.  I really like root beer, and there's no way a restaurant in Japan (other than the Hard Rock Cafe) is going to carry root beer.

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Prasantrin, you and Lonefoodie bring up an interesting point. What is considered acceptable in North America may not be (and vice versa) in other parts of the world.

edited to correct typo

Edited March 21, 2008 by grayelf (log)

[lunatuna]

If you carry your to-go cup into another restaurant, continue to drink the coffee you paid for in another establishment and don't order coffee from the place you're in, they deserve to ask you to leave.  And they don't even have to be polite, because at that point you're not merely uncouth, you're simply being rude.  There's nothing murky about that at all.  I sincerely hope you were joking when you proposed that scenario.  If not, I'd respectfully ask that you don't visit anywhere that I'm working.

The seasoning issue is another matter.  If I were a chef I'd probably be insulted, but then again, a lot of restaurants don't offer the courtesy of fresh ground pepper, or might not have red pepper flakes in their pantry because they don't use them in their cooking.  I've worked with enough chefs to know that sometimes being under the hood in a commercial kitchen can lead to some level of oxygen deprivation and resultant mild brain damage.  I'd be careful of cleaver wielding chefs that saw you seasoning your food with outside condiments/spices and implying that they weren't doing their jobs properly.

Do you ask for ketchup for your well done steak, perchance? 

edited for harsh language and bad speling

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I wasn't _joking_ about the to-go cup scenario: it was a hypothetical. It's not something I personally would ever do. I have seen people do exactly what I described, and was curious about what the consensus would be; I don't have a history of carrying in coffee myself.

The seasoning issue was mentioned in earnest. I hope and assume that _you're_ joking about cleaver-wielding chefs! And no, I don't ask for ketchup with my well-done steak, because I don't eat steak. Being a vegetarian seems to make a person an eGullet pariah, which is another conundrum entirely. But I'd guess I'm not the only one in the room who thinks that overcooked linguine with unseasoned tomato sauce can be made semi-edible with a generous dose of spice. This is not just a symptom of vegetarianism, though: I happen to find food unpalatable if it is utterly unspiced. That is not necessarily the fault of the restaurant, just a matter of my personal tastes. And I know certain people would say, "well, go to a restaurant you do enjoy"--but I hope those people could also understand my not wanting to alienate friends and family by refusing to break bread with them. This often means that I wind up at restaurants I don't love. If there's one item on the menu that I can eat, sure, I will order it and happily pay for it. But if I find it totally disgusting, I see nothing wrong with "correcting" its flavor. Anyway, sorry about the tangent!

I would maintain that in certain respects this is a murky issue; if it weren't, why would we be having this discussion?

Edited March 21, 2008 by lunatuna (log)

[demiglace]

What about water? Would it be bad to bring your own water? Or a beverage the restaurant doesn't carry?

My favourite burger place is a teeny tiny little shack that only has four beverages on the menu--coke (in a bottle), mineral water, ramune, and cold oolong tea. The mineral water is Y150/bottle, but I always have a refillable water bottle with me (I usually go to the burger place from the gym), so I usually just drink what's in my bottle.

Is that rude, too? I'm guessing yes, but I just can't bring myself to spend Y150 on bottled water, not to mention the guilt over wasting a plastic bottle...

And since they only have four beverages, none of which is root beer, could I bring my own root beer?

I've been thinking of asking if I could do that. I really like root beer, and there's no way a restaurant in Japan (other than the Hard Rock Cafe) is going to carry root beer.

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So you work out then go for a burger? I knew I liked you!

[prasantrin]

So you work out then go for a burger?    I knew I liked you!

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It's one of my trade-offs. I can only have a burger if I've gone to the gym first (plus it's a 40-ish minute bike ride--return trip)--I hate exercising, but I love my burger! Plus eating after exercising helps burn calories more efficiently, or so I like to tell myself as I rationalize all my bad eating habits!

Back to the original topic--years ago, I recall going to McD's (in Japan) for breakfast with some friends. One of them brought some bread with her, and although we had all agreed to go to McD's, she didn't order anything (except for asking someone to order some tap-water for her) and instead openly ate whatever bread she had brought with her.

I remember being shocked that she would do such a thing, and I told her that I thought it was rude. She replied that it was OK (in a tone of entitlement), since McD's didn't sell what she wanted to eat (remember, though, we all agreed to go there).

I also remember one of the staff walking by and doing a double-take at my friend eating her non-McD's meal. I think had my friend not been caucasian, the staff would probably have said something, but back then, Japanese people were a wee bit more apprehensive when approaching foreigners.

Back then I thought she was rude, but at this moment, I'd really like to bring my own root beer to my burger place. But I guess that would make me rude, too. Is it still rude if I ask? I would be more than happy if they would buy a few cans just for me and then charge me a premium for them, but failing that, I want my own root beer!

[Synergy]

And no, I don't ask for ketchup with my well-done steak, because I don't eat steak.  Being a vegetarian seems to make a person an eGullet pariah, which is another conundrum entirely.

This is off topic, but you're not the only one.

There are a few of us vegetarian foodies on here

[demiglace]

So you work out then go for a burger?     I knew I liked you!

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It's one of my trade-offs. I can only have a burger if I've gone to the gym first (plus it's a 40-ish minute bike ride--return trip)--I hate exercising, but I love my burger! Plus eating after exercising helps burn calories more efficiently, or so I like to tell myself as I rationalize all my bad eating habits!

Back to the original topic--years ago, I recall going to McD's (in Japan) for breakfast with some friends. One of them brought some bread with her, and although we had all agreed to go to McD's, she didn't order anything (except for asking someone to order some tap-water for her) and instead openly ate whatever bread she had brought with her.

I remember being shocked that she would do such a thing, and I told her that I thought it was rude. She replied that it was OK (in a tone of entitlement), since McD's didn't sell what she wanted to eat (remember, though, we all agreed to go there).

I also remember one of the staff walking by and doing a double-take at my friend eating her non-McD's meal. I think had my friend not been caucasian, the staff would probably have said something, but back then, Japanese people were a wee bit more apprehensive when approaching foreigners.

Back then I thought she was rude, but at this moment, I'd really like to bring my own root beer to my burger place. But I guess that would make me rude, too. Is it still rude if I ask? I would be more than happy if they would buy a few cans just for me and then charge me a premium for them, but failing that, I want my own root beer!

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I'd ask...they might be quite happy to carry your root beer.

[K8memphis]

Brushing the dust off an old story.

Fifty years ago I would go to town with my Dad, we called him Pop, and he told me this story. This certain gentleman that had just left the bar that afternoon was a former mob person of some kind. Something in finance, in accounting or something that had made him a rich but very careful man. He drank a special kind of alcohol, VO or something that was expensive.

Pop said he would always pay for an entire bottle then buy the drinks individually from the newly opened bottle. I do remember asking Pop what if the place he was at didn't have that kind of booze. Pop said then that guy wouldn't drink there. I mean as a kid hearing this, I couldn't figure out why he didn't take the leftover with him and why he would pay for drinks if he owned the bottle. But that's the story Pop told me. He said the man didn't want to get poisoned or something. "But Pop why would..." I guess the words 'former mob person' didn't register much with me at that time.

So I kept thinking of this old story whenever I perused this thread. The mob guy just bought a bottle from the place's stock, so there was no hard feelings there.

So what's crossed my mind on many ocassions is to bring a new unopened box of tea to give to the kitchen and then buy the cups of tea out of it. I've never done it yet but it's crossed my brain many times whenever I was wishing for some nice pleasant tea. Maybe my reluctance has something to do with my lack of mob connection...

But still I don't think this idea is quite kosher either. You would have to be careful not to step on toes y'know? You would need to make nice with the manager and staff and build a relationship first. But former mob dude got away with it because it was already in stock and it was a plus plus for the establishment not to mention how he clearly excelled at not stepping on toes overall huh.

[Naftal]

We (restaurants) cannot be all things to all people.

Take your own teabags and be done with it.  After 24 years in F&B, I simply do not see why this issue should be, well, an issue!  Is it really that difficult for us to bring you a pot of water so you can enjoy your own tea?  You're happy, good on ya', and how would you like your steak cooked?  (Unless you're bringing me a raw cut of beef to cook for you...now we have an issue! )

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Brushing the dust off an old story.

Fifty years ago I would go to town with my Dad, we called him Pop, and he told me this story. This certain gentleman that had just left the bar that afternoon was a former mob person of some kind. Something in finance, in accounting or something that had made him a rich but very careful man. He drank a special kind of alcohol, VO or something that was expensive.

Pop said he would always pay for an entire bottle then buy the drinks individually from the newly opened bottle. I do remember asking Pop what if the place he was at didn't have that kind of booze. Pop said then that guy wouldn't drink there. I mean as a kid hearing this, I couldn't figure out why he didn't take the leftover with him and why he would pay for drinks if he owned the bottle. But that's the story Pop told me. He said the man didn't want to get poisoned or something. "But Pop why would..." I guess the words 'former mob person' didn't register much with me at that time.

So I kept thinking of this old story whenever I perused this thread. The mob guy just bought a bottle from the place's stock, so there was no hard feelings there.

So what's crossed my mind on many ocassions is to bring a new unopened box of tea to give to the kitchen and then buy the cups of tea out of it. I've never done it yet but it's crossed my brain many times whenever I was wishing for some nice pleasant tea. Maybe my reluctance has something to do with my lack of mob connection... 

But still I don't think this idea is quite kosher either. You would have to be careful not to step on toes y'know? You would need to make nice with the manager and staff and build a relationship first. But former mob dude got away with it because it was already in stock and it was a plus plus for the establishment not to mention how he clearly excelled at not stepping on toes overall huh.

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Yes!Thank you,thank you, thank you so much These are ,in my opinion, perfectly wonderful ideas I always buy a meal at the place I bring my tea to. And I tip well too. I would never think of doing other- wise.Most restos can't afford to stock a pu'er, I can respect that. I am not asking them to serve fine food and exceptional tea, just exceptional food(which they do).As mentioned earlier if I want exceptional tea, I go to my local Chinese teahouse and get a 6-year old Beencha :cool:Lastly, I don't mean to insult the many fine restaurants that have good tea selections. I know there are many places that carry good tea. And, to those of you who do I say "God Bless You!!! "

Edited March 22, 2008 by Naftal (log)

[Dianabanana]

Brushing the dust off an old story.

So what's crossed my mind on many ocassions is to bring a new unopened box of tea to give to the kitchen and then buy the cups of tea out of it. I've never done it yet but it's crossed my brain many times whenever I was wishing for some nice pleasant tea. Maybe my reluctance has something to do with my lack of mob connection... 

But still I don't think this idea is quite kosher either. You would have to be careful not to step on toes y'know? You would need to make nice with the manager and staff and build a relationship first. But former mob dude got away with it because it was already in stock and it was a plus plus for the establishment not to mention how he clearly excelled at not stepping on toes overall huh.

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I have done exactly this. There is a coffee shop near my office where I like to spend time every morning, but they don't stock the kind of tea I like. I bought a box of it and asked the manager if he would just keep it on the back shelf and sell me a cup of tea made from it every day. He wanted me to tell the cashiers just to charge me $0.51 for the water and cup, but I just let them charge me the full price. It's only a few dollars extra over the course of many weeks.

[markk]

I have to say that if what we're discussing is actually the price of a cup of tea, then I think that it's a pretty ridiculous discussion. I occasionally bring my own tea bags to a restaurant. I order tea, and ask the server not to put the bag in (the cup or the pot), and when the tea service gets left at the table, I brew what I've brought. And I pay whatever their charge is for tea. And if it's a selection of teas that's brought, I'll choose one, and use my own teabag when the server leaves.

If they can possibly have a complaint or problem with this, I really don't care.

[petite tête de chou]

I don't think that I've ever been disappointed in any tea selection. If all that is offered is some generic brand of astringent black tea I actually consider it a bit of a childhood treat. My mother would add cream and sugar to black tea and call it "Boston Style." As a little girl I always thought that had something to do with the clouds of cream unfolding in the cup.

Edited to add that while I don't bring my own tea bags I certainly don't see anything wrong with doing so as long as one pays whatever is normally charged for tea. That's simply polite.

Edited March 23, 2008 by petite tête de chou (log)

[Fengyi]

Prasantrin, you and Lonefoodie bring up an interesting point. What is  considered acceptable in North America may not be (and vice versa) in other parts of the world.

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I know this is supposed to be just about tea - but here in China so many people bring their own food to restaurants that they've started putting up notices about it in many (cheaper) restaurants.

But, I've still seen people sit down (usually with a friend who is eating the restaurant food) and pull out their own biscuits, drinks, and snacks and happily chow down!!

It still slightly boggles my (Western-orientated) mind!

[phlox]

Nice work, Katie.

I just finished " Service Included" wherein out heroine meets her lover at a diner and feels she has to carry her own maple syrup for the diner pancakes.  I'm naive and sheltered  and all, but that rocked me back on my heels. All I could think was: "Er, if you have to tote your Canadian Amber Grade B, you should be eating breakfast somewhere else."

Same applies to tea. If you can't get a good cuppa, just order the coffee. If you can, give that tea- loving restaurant your business.

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The author of this book irritates the snot out of me, and this was only one small example of why.

A few months ago I went on a date with a guy who insisted on bringing his own yerba mate setup to a coffeehouse.

No. Just no.