How long do you wait...

[Jaymes]

So here's the scenario... You live in a large city. We'll say, for sake of argument, it's somewhere in Mexico. You have visitors coming from out of the country. There are six of them. You are aware that these people are not dear friends that know each other well; but rather, acquaintances that met, we'll say, online, and now are vacationing in Mexico, driving around your state in a large, rented Suburban van. To your knowledge, only one of them speaks Spanish, and none is really familiar with your city, most having never been there before, and one having been there only a few times. It's doubtful that any of them have cell phones. Your city is old and colonial, and the narrow streets and considerable traffic can make it extremely confusing to navigate. You know only one of the group (the one that speaks Spanish), but you have agreed to meet them for dinner at a local restaurant of your choosing. This group is staying at a downtown hotel and there are many fine restaurants within a few blocks to which they could walk, but you choose a restaurant farther out, which would be a, say, 15-20 minute drive at best, by people familiar with the city, and not during rush hour.

The appointed hour is, we'll say, 7pm.

You get there on time, but they're not there.

How long do you wait?

Edited May 23, 2007 by Jaymes (log)

[tino27]

How long to wait before what? Being seated? Or ordering?

If I wasn't afraid of losing my reservation/table, then I would probably wait about 15-20 minutes in the lobby before asking to be seated. If I was afraid of losing my table (and the restaurant allowed it), I'd be seated immediately. As for ordering food, I'd be willing to wait up to an hour, but with the caveat that I'd probably order a couple of appetizers for people to snack on while we waited.

On the other hand, if this were a restaurant that I had only agreed to go to because I was in the minority, and I showed up on time and no one else showed up for 30 minutes, I would leave and go somewhere else that I preferred.

[Jaymes]

On the other hand, if this were a restaurant that I had only agreed to go to because I was in the minority, and I showed up on time and no one else showed up for 30 minutes, I would leave and go somewhere else that I preferred.

No...YOU picked the restaurant. None of them had ever even heard of it. You're waiting for your out-of-the-country-foreigners dining companions to show up. Never mind worrying about being seated, ordering food, etc. How long would you wait before leaving?

Edited May 23, 2007 by Jaymes (log)

[markemorse]

Two hours. At the bar.

[tino27]

On the other hand, if this were a restaurant that I had only agreed to go to because I was in the minority, and I showed up on time and no one else showed up for 30 minutes, I would leave and go somewhere else that I preferred.

No...YOU picked the restaurant. None of them had ever even heard of it. You're waiting for your out-of-the-country-foreigners dining companions to show up. Never mind worrying about being seated, ordering food, etc. How long would you wait before leaving?

←

Oops, sorry, you did say that you picked the restaurant. If it were me and I decided that it was all or nothing (meaning that either I would or wouldn't eat at the restaurant), I'd probably say I would wait for an hour before leaving. But I agree with markemorse ... I'd be sitting at the bar waiting.

[tim]

Jaymes,

My guess is that you know the answer, and that it wasn't long enough.

Tim

[Carolyn Tillie]

An hour, tops.

[MissAmy]

I give lots of slack for foreign guests driving alone in an unfamiliar country.

I'd do what Markemorse said and just hole up at the bar for as long as it takes.

[Carolyn Tillie]

I'd do what Markemorse said and just hole up at the bar for as long as it takes.

←

What if they haven't shown up after three hours???

[lcdm]

I would wait about an hour, and if I knew what hotel they were staying at I would call to see if they checked in or leave a message for them if they did not arrive yet.

[Kouign Aman]

I'd meet 'em at the hotel and drive with them, so it would be moot.

But if I did trust in their ability to drive a huge vehicle thru old narrow streets, I'd wait at least an hour, and the bar sounds like the place to do it. After all, the stress level on the person waiting is far less than on those poor souls trying to find the place.

[markemorse]

I'd do what Markemorse said and just hole up at the bar for as long as it takes.

←

What if they haven't shown up after three hours???

←

Then it's time to switch to water...

No, I'd call it a night after two hours or so. But I would wait considerably longer than an hour...logistics, traffic, navigation, 6 people...that's tough even without international considerations. And I did pick the place.

mem

[MissAmy]

I'd do what Markemorse said and just hole up at the bar for as long as it takes.

←

What if they haven't shown up after three hours???

←

Then I get worried and start trying to contact them.

And, like another poster mentioned, I'd probably pick them up myself, anyway.

[Octaveman]

Well, that was difficult to read. If they haven't showed up in an hour, you call their hotel to see if the checked in and if they're still there. If they've check in and are not at the hotel, give them an hour then leave to meet them at the hotel. If they are smart they would've taken a taxi. If it were me in that group I would've suggested ditching you for not meeting us at the hotel and taking us to the restaurant in a foreign country that we don't speak the language and we don't know the area and we've never been there before and we're on vacation to have a good time not spend it driving around the city just to eat dinner..

[Jaymes]

Jaymes,

My guess is that you know the answer, and that it wasn't long enough.

Tim

I know how long OUR "hostess" waited for us and indeed, it was not long enough. We got badly lost trying to find the place where she had insisted we dine. We did manage to straggle in 45 minutes late, only to discover that our "hostess" had waited about a half-hour and then left.

Our group stayed and ate, and much of the conversation centered around how long we would have waited, were the situation reversed. We agreed that given the variables (six people, foreign country, etc.), we would have waited 1-2 hours at least. I mean, as others have suggested, go to the bar, have some snacks.

Don't know that there is any "right" or "wrong" answer, but we were curious as to what others thought would be a reasonable time.

Edited May 24, 2007 by Jaymes (log)

[savvysearch]

An hour and a half.

[Kajikit]

I'd have waited for an hour, and made an effort to track you down to see if you were en route... and THEN I'd have left if you weren't. Thirty minutes isn't very considerate...

[prasantrin]

I've been known to wait 2 or 3 hours for people--even people who know where they're going and how to get there. But I'm a bit of a sucker for things like that.

Jaymes, I'm wondering how your hostess has reacted to the situation. Did she call (or contact) any of you to apologize for not waiting longer? Or did she expect an apology from your group? Or has she fallen off the face of the earth?

[FabulousFoodBabe]

I'd meet 'em at the hotel and drive with them, so it would be moot.

←

Me, too.

***

Wait time would depend on who's paying, and how much I wanted to see these people.

[viva]

I'd hole up at the bar too, making calls during cocktails to make sure the friends are okay. When I got to the point where hunger was going to make continued drinking messy, then I'd eat at the bar. Order apps - still no show - then dinner. Then after finishing a nice leisurely meal & cocktails - if the guests haven't shown, it's time to go home.

Hey, I came out for food and drink... might as well get some regardless.

[Busboy]

Jaymes,

My guess is that you know the answer, and that it wasn't long enough.

Tim

I know how long OUR "hostess" waited for us and indeed, it was not long enough. We got badly lost trying to find the place where she had insisted we dine. We did manage to straggle in 45 minutes late, only to discover that our "hostess" had waited about a half-hour and then left.

Our group stayed and ate, and much of the conversation centered around how long we would have waited, were the situation reversed. We agreed that given the variables (six people, foreign country, etc.), we would have waited 1-2 hours at least. I mean, as others have suggested, go to the bar, have some snacks.

Don't know that there is any "right" or "wrong" answer, but we were curious as to what others thought would be a reasonable time.

←

Let me flip the question around. Knowing that the restaurant was a 25-minute drive by someone who knew their way, not in rush hour, how much earlier should the guests leave to allow for getting dazed and confused on the way over?

As for the earlier question, maybe an hour. Although if I'm at the bar drinking tequila it would either 2 hours ("my poor lost tourista friends... how can I abandon them...and where else would I rather be?) or 30 minutes ("those inconsiderate morons, where are they?") depending on how the tequila's magic was working that night.

[Kouign Aman]

Giving oneself time to arrive is important, however given its a new environment, I'd say the hostess's responsibility is greater than the guests.

I have given myself 40 min to reach a restaurant 20 min away, in a slightly familiar town. The host however gave me directions with a left turn that should have been a right turn. By the time that all got straightened out, I was still 15 min late. And Mapquest etc have errors, so they can not be relied on entirely in unfamiliar settings. (I've been given a left turn onto a street that only existed on the right side, for example).