Bad cook coming for dinner!!

[Saffy]

We have some aquaintances coming for dinner on Saturday and I have a bit of a dilemma. We were invited to their home for dinner more than a month ago and I ate the worst meal of my life at their house. Don't get me wrong they are very nice people. But I don't think a cookbook has ever entered their house.

We were served rice which was a small miracle she somehow managed to have it slushy and gluey and lumpy all at the same time. Vegetables that were microwaved beyond recognition in olive oil and salt and pepper. And a pile of ground beef with one mushroom cut into slices that she called " beef stroganoff " No seasonings, nothing. ::sigh::.. anyway ..

these people are coming for dinner, and I don't want to embarass them by cooking something that seems really extravagant, I also don't want to cook anything that has very strong flavours, since they are used to eating very bland food. So I am in a bit of a bind with respect to what to make.

I would really welcome any ideas at all for a meal which is nice but not showy..

Thanks

[Jinmyo]

How about rice, vegetables grilled or roasted with EVOO, beef stroganoff?

[Adam Balic]

Steak, pot-roast, normal roast with Veg. That sort of think can't offend to many people. However, as they gave you such a dire meal why not cook whatever you like and make them deal with it? The worst that could happen is that you would never eat another meal cooked by them right?

[Saffy]

Thanks for the chuckle the sad thing was that I think she really tried hard to make a nice meal! That is what was so scary about it all, I can't imagine what they would eat normally.

[Andy Lynes]

Anything you cook will be impressive after that sort of showing. So as long as you don't do a multi course extravaganza, which really would be rubbing their noses in it, I think you should feel free to cook as you would for anyone else.

How about braised short ribs (Batali's recipe from the Babbo cookbook is delicious, served with pumpkin orzo and horseradish gremolata ), some nice cheeses and bread, then and a tart of some decription or just fresh fruit to finish?

[bigbear]

Meatloaf, baked potato and a salad.

[Miss J]

Roast chicken with lemon, glazed carrots, mashed potatoes. Nothing's too difficult or complicated, but falls squarely into the "good, plain food" category.

Either that or a lovingly prepared spag bol.

[Jinmyo]

Send out for a pizza.

[GordonCooks]

We have some aquaintances coming for dinner on Saturday and I have a bit of a dilemma. We were invited to their home for dinner more than a month ago and I ate the worst meal of my life at their house. Don't get me wrong they are very nice people. But I don't think a cookbook has ever entered their house.

We were served rice which was a small miracle she somehow managed to have it slushy and gluey and lumpy all at the same time. Vegetables that were microwaved beyond recognition in olive oil and salt and pepper. And a pile of ground beef with one mushroom cut into slices that she called " beef stroganoff " No seasonings, nothing. ::sigh::.. anyway ..

these people are coming for dinner, and I don't want to embarass them by cooking something that seems really extravagant, I also don't want to cook anything that has very strong flavours, since they are used to eating very bland food. So I am in a bit of a bind with respect to what to make.

I would really welcome any ideas at all for a meal which is nice but not showy..

Thanks

This is a no win situation - You're setting yourself up for a return dinner engagement.

Cook something ethnic - Italian, Asian, etc - Something they would not attempt to make. In the future, stick to cookouts, cocktails, desserts & coffee, etc

The key is "Do they think their cooking is good or is good cooking beyond their skill level?"

[spqr]

IMHO: Think Babette's Feast and knock their socks off.

[Wilfrid]

Oh good, I can tell my embarrassing story again, because someone might not have heard it before. The wife of my oldest friend is an enthusiastic cook, but I have always had some reservations about her skills. One day I visited them, and she said she was going to cook Mexican for me. I braced myself, but the meal was edible. As I finished it, I heard myself say, "Well, that was surprisingly good." Ever wished life had a rewind button?

[Gavin Jones]

I had to think for about that for 30 seconds.

I am going to tact school, now.

My suggestion is to produce food that is surprising in some way.

You know, strawberries with black pepper, fish & meat cooked together.

This will avoid the implicit criticism of producing a meal in the same genre as they did, but much better.

Do not however eat at their place ever again after this as you will be served 'creative fusion food'.

[Simon Majumdar]

Saffy

maybe it just because I am British or is it just because I am me?

But

Has no one else thought that you should really rub the silly old mare's face in it for providing you with such ghastly food by really going to town

You could have it catered by JGV or Batali and served by liveried footmen in powdered wigs

The meal should be at least 10 courses all of which should be printed ( or embossed for better effect ) on at least 256gsm card which should be delivered a week in advance so she has time to wallow in her shame.

The Invitation should also be printed and under Dress Code just put "sack cloth and ashes"

Before the description of each course on the menu should be the words "unlike the slop you served me, this wont keep you up all night searching for the Peptobismol and Immodium"

The Cutlery should all be finest Sheffield Steel which you can drop into the conversation was given to you by the Queen of England in gratitude for the light snack you cooked for her once.

The music for the night should be a constant loop of "anything you can do I can do better"

You could present them with a bill at the end of the evening that reads "$250 or one decent meal cooked at your place in the next ten years"

Surely this is too good an opportunity to miss to make someone you care about feel small and pathetic?

Hope this helps

S

[tommy]

maybe i'm missing something, but why would there be a need to dumb-down your food for guests? i can't imagine that. i would cook what i always cook, but of course taking into consideration any likes/dislikes that they may have.

[Jinmyo]

Simon, it's just because you're you.

tommy, just so, just so.

[Andy Lynes]

Actually, thinking about it, Simon is absolutely right. You suffered, now it's their turn. Stuffed swans ahoy!

[Rachel Perlow]

How about rice, vegetables grilled or roasted with EVOO, beef stroganoff?

That's exactly what I was thinking. We're mean.

[rich]

I would serve what you normally do. If they really think what they served you was good, then they'll think what you served them was bad. Then your even.

[Bux]

My guess is that they just don't understand food anyway--who the hell serves beef stoganoff with rice.

Don't knock yourself out thinking about it and don't knock yourself cooking. Cook a decent version of whatever you'd normally cook without company. I assume ground beef dishes are not above what you'd have on a weekday night anyway. No need to try and impress them as they're just as likely not to understand as be offended or embarrassed, and there's no need for you to have another really bad meal. Feed yourself and share it with them. I wonder if they eat out and I wonder if they notice the difference when they do. Do you know?

[Varmint]

One other approach you could take is to do something that would require some help. Guests will inevitably ask if they can help with something. Let them help in the preparation of the meal. If you do it in a way that isn't pedantic, the guests will feel as if they played an active role in the final dish. Plus, they may pick up a tip or two that they can use at home.

Or you could just call for pizza.

[Saffy]

:Feed yourself and share it with them. I wonder if they eat out and I wonder if they notice the difference when they do. Do you know?

I honestly don't think they eat out very much. The hubby of the couple was telling his wife how lovely the meal was and what a nice treat to have something so good. He was absolutely genuine! My husband and I could barely get the meal down it was just so blah.. and I don't consider myself to be a really picky person.

I think this was the couple that frozen dinners and instant meals were created for! I suspect that might be the kind of thing they usually eat.

[Saffy]

Do not however eat at their place ever again after this as you will be served 'creative fusion food'.

I am REALLY hoping that we are not going to be invited over for another meal in this lifetime.

If we are we decided that maybe we would suggest going out instead or perhaps a picnic lunch where we can take all three of our very noisey children. I think that would do the trick hehe

[Saffy]

Has no one else thought that you should really rub the silly old mare's face in it for providing you with such ghastly food by really going to town

You could have it catered by JGV or Batali and served by liveried footmen in powdered wigs

The meal should be at least 10 courses all of which should be printed ( or embossed for better effect ) on at least 256gsm card which should be delivered a week in advance so she has time to wallow in her shame.

The Invitation should also be printed and under Dress Code just put "sack cloth and ashes"

Before the description of each course on the menu should be the words "unlike the slop you served me, this wont keep you up all night searching for the Peptobismol and Immodium"

The Cutlery should all be finest Sheffield Steel which you can drop into the conversation was given to you by the Queen of England in gratitude for the light snack you cooked for her once.

The music for the night should be a constant loop of "anything you can do I can do better"

You could present them with a bill at the end of the evening that reads "$250 or one decent meal cooked at your place in the next ten years"

Surely this is too good an opportunity to miss to make someone you care about feel small and pathetic?

Want to make me feel small and pathetic? I would not mind being humiliated in this way any time :)

[Batgrrrl]

I too am friends with a couple like this, so I feel your pain. My friends aren't quite this extreme--they know they are absolutely clueless in the kitchen, and enjoy it immensely when we cook together, because they like learning. I, on the other hand, can't stand cooking with them because it takes them TWENTY #*&$^@#*&$^#* MINUTES TO SLICE AN ONION. Don't even get me started on how long it takes them to clean and slice mushrooms. Needless to say, we don't cook together much anymore. I'm NOT a patient woman.

But the greater source of frustration for me is that the husband won't eat vegetables. I mean, okay, a 6 year old boy who won't eat vegetables, fine. But a 30 year old man? An otherwise cultured, highly intelligent, worldly, capable of sophisticated behavior man? Thus I cringed when you talked about the lack of spices.

All of this is to say, as others have said before me, cook for yourself so that you enjoy the evening. Best case scenario--they will subtly get the hint that their meal was sub par, and you may inspire them to learn more.

Batgrrrl

[cakewalk]

The hubby of the couple was telling his wife how lovely the meal was and what a nice treat to have something so good. He was absolutely genuine!

An extremely fortunate couple. I say that without sarcasm. Cook whatever is convenient for you.