food vs. family

[daniellewiley]

Family, no question. And I've eaten some truly dreadful meals as a result.

Your sister is trying to be nice by offering to host this year, and you can turn her offer down nicely by pointing out that traveling with an infant is a thorough thrash. But you needn't forego your family's company either: invite them and cook for them. You'll have all those extra hands to help with the baby, freeing you up to cook. The best of both worlds.

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I agree! If you can find just one person to help you, I bet you can manage hosting it. I had Dylie on November 12, and hosted a 15 person Thanksgiving that year, thanks to some wonderful help from my sister-in-law.

I was exhausted, but the food was fabulous.

I don't know what we will do this year. My mother is pressuring me (understatement of the year) to come to her house, but my husband is miserable when we don't host it ourselves. And, my mom can't come to me, b/c my 93 year old grandmother can't come with her.

Ack!

[lcdm]

While my sister, who lives about a 5-hour drive away, was here last weekend helping me gear up for baby's arrival, she broached the subject of Thanksgiving.

"I know you probably won't be up for hosting Thanksgiving with the baby, so I wanted to offer for you to come to our place.  But I want you to know that I'm not going to do turkey AND mashed potatoes AND stuffing AND all this other stuff.  In fact, I was thinking of even ordering a turkey.  Or maybe we could go out."

Now, I appreciate her offer to play host.  BUT, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, AND a huge part of that is the food.  I could live without the seven-course haute version or a buffet spread with 20 side dishes. However comma....I know my sister and her peevishly picky husband.  "Ordering a turkey" would mean something along the lines of Boston Market.  And after the horrendous hotel brunch we had while visiting her for Easter, I had to work not to visibly wince at her suggestion.

How hard is it to roast a turkey?  Sheesh...  Stick it in the oven and polish off a couple of bottles of wine while you wait.  Oh that's right.  They don't drink.

Right now I'm thinking of staying in Annapolis and feast-hopping amongst the homes of my friends who are Damned Good Cooks.  But is this an unfair snub to my family?  Have you ever had to choose between spending time with loved ones and celebrating a holiday or event the way you really want to?

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Congratulations!

Have it at your house and invite your sister and some friends. When my kids were small (One born in August, two in September) I found it easier to have people over for the holidays than go out. This way the kids could nap or be fed when needed. I remember our first Christmas with our first (3 months old) 2 hour drive to inlaws (great food, great family). The drive from hell, my daughter would not stop crying, fussed the whole time we were there, and threw up on the way home. To top it off she was already sleepng through the night but the trip put her out of sorts and it took her a week to settle back into her routine.

[devlin]

While my sister, who lives about a 5-hour drive away, was here last weekend helping me gear up for baby's arrival, she broached the subject of Thanksgiving.

"I know you probably won't be up for hosting Thanksgiving with the baby, so I wanted to offer for you to come to our place.  But I want you to know that I'm not going to do turkey AND mashed potatoes AND stuffing AND all this other stuff.  In fact, I was thinking of even ordering a turkey.  Or maybe we could go out."

Now, I appreciate her offer to play host.  BUT, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, AND a huge part of that is the food.  I could live without the seven-course haute version or a buffet spread with 20 side dishes. However comma....I know my sister and her peevishly picky husband.  "Ordering a turkey" would mean something along the lines of Boston Market.  And after the horrendous hotel brunch we had while visiting her for Easter, I had to work not to visibly wince at her suggestion.

How hard is it to roast a turkey?  Sheesh...  Stick it in the oven and polish off a couple of bottles of wine while you wait.  Oh that's right.  They don't drink.

Right now I'm thinking of staying in Annapolis and feast-hopping amongst the homes of my friends who are Damned Good Cooks.  But is this an unfair snub to my family?  Have you ever had to choose between spending time with loved ones and celebrating a holiday or event the way you really want to?

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Ummmm, how about offering to help with the cooking? If the alternative is to "feast hop amongst the homes of [your] friends who are Damned Good Cooks" or celebrating with family, then I guess you'll need to decide what's most important. The food or the family. But if you really want to spend time with the family, then why not offer to help with the feast? I know I've felt pretty burdened myself during holidays with all the cooking and the cleaning and the like, and recently I've begun to ask myself why we've done it the way we've always done it in my family, one of us always doing all the preparation, when actually it could just as easily be shared.

On the other hand, one of my sisters is pretty ill, and I'd really rather spend those times with her now because life's too short and I'm gonna really miss her if things get as bad as they might. She's more important to me than the great food other people might be able to offer during a holiday.

[browniebaker]

Every other year or so, I must spend Thanksgiving with the parents-in-law and eat my mother-in-law's cornstarch-based, no-fat gravy; her boiled, no-fat, no-seasoning-other-than-salt-and-pepper potatoes, sweet potatoes, and green beans; her wild-rice, tastes-like-pure-roughage stuffing; her unadorned, unseasoned celery sticks and carrot sticks; her Pillsbury crescent rolls; and her store-bought pumpkin pie and apple pie with the bad, musty-smelling crust.

The night before what to me is Thanksgiving in hell (because of the food and the company, both), I give myself a treat by cooking for my husband and two children our own pre-Thanksgiving dinner. The works. All the dishes we love for Thanksgiving, cooked just the way we like them. So we end up with two Thanksgiving dinners in a row, and everyone is happy. And the children know not to let on to their grandparents that we had turkey already the day before!