How I have lived this long without such a gadget

[Gifted Gourmet]

the best gift for the cook yet!

Now I sound like Andy Rooney on Sunday Evening's CBS program: "Did you ever wonder how you have survived so long without the Electric Marshmallow Toaster?"

Are you the type to simply "rough it" and toast your marshmallows over an open fire, stringing them along a small tree twig?

Appears that I have waited too long already .. they have sold out! and what with Xmas right around the corner!

At what point does the kitchen "tool" line of gadgets become truly outrageously silly?

Which tools strike you as completely unnecessary and ludicrous?

[SuzySushi]

That gadget that makes cubic hard-cooked eggs!

[divalasvegas]

How about:

1) The gizmo that scrambles your eggs in the shell? or

2) A banana slicer as in here (scroll down about one third down the page, to the left): For Those Pesky Bananas

and, darn, GiftedGourmet it was only $7.00 and it's also sold out!

[Gifted Gourmet]

How about those tonged, meatball shapers that look like scissors with a half ball on each side. (What's better than human hands to roll the perfect meatballs?) Reallly!!

[Gifted Gourmet]

2) A banana slicer as in here (scroll down about one third down the page, to the left):  For Those Pesky Bananas

and, darn, GiftedGourmet it was only $7.00 and it's also sold out!

←

Did you ever wonder how they sell this garbage so damned fast??

Produces 19 neat, even slices. Perfect for dehydrating tasty banana chip snacks. Made of a hard durable food-grade plastic in a bright yellow banana color. Safe for kids, too! They can slice their own bananas for sandwiches and cereal toppings.

and to think how many wasted nights I lay awake fretting endlessly that my daughter couldn't slice a banana without a guide!!

[redglass]

Oh, wow even after a cursory search, this topic is just ripe for the picking:

a chocolate melter

electric crepe griddle ($149! Do you really NEED this?)

electric ice cream scoop

[divalasvegas]

Oh dear Lord, I'm actually tempted to get this one:

No More Mango Madness

Better picture of the promised results here, but it's on their home page and may not be there for long:

Mango Porn

I have an image, but just not sure how to post it here.

Edited because my eGullet posting skills are still in development.

Edited August 17, 2005 by divalasvegas (log)

[ScorchedPalate]

How about those tonged, meatball shapers that look like scissors with a half ball on each side. (What's better than human hands to roll the perfect meatballs?)      Reallly!!

←

I have one of these -- It was a gift, I swear!! But it's actually pretty cool for portioning... you still have to roll the meatball into a sphere.

Edited to add: That mango thing is SLICK.

Edited August 17, 2005 by ScorchedPalate (log)

[Terrasanct]

Buying an electric marshmallow toaster takes all the art out of marshmallow toasting and turns it into a science! No thanks. The best part is catching the marshmallows on fire and blowing them out, pulling off the carbonized crust, and catching the marshmallow guts on fire again.

I'm one of those types. I just won't be civilized.

[winesonoma]

Bass-o-matic.

"Then you need a Bass-o-matic, as advertised on the original Saturday Night Live in the late 1970's. here's a description I found on Google."

"i just saw the bassomatic ad on a saturday night live rerun show. very funny and exceedingly gross. it was a blender that you put a bass in (which dan ackroyd did for the skit) so that you could get all the nutrients of the fish without scaling or fileting. then you would just drink it. bleecchh!"

Edited August 17, 2005 by winesonoma (log)

[purplewiz]

Which tools strike you as completely unnecessary and ludicrous?

←

That electric hot dog cooker. I just can't imagine how it would be easier/faster than doing them in the microwave (or for nights when I want to spend an extra 3 minutes cooking, our outdoor gas grill), and worse, how would you clean it?

In fact, that leads to an entire subcategory of the ludicrous and useless: kitchen cooking gadgets that cannot be cleaned easily, like waffle irons whose plates are not removable. Yes, I have one of those, and it can't be submerged, it can't really be sudsed, and I don't think I ever get it really clean. It's on the list for replacement.

(I have a new kitchen motto: if it doesn't go in the dishwasher, it doesn't go in my kitchen.)

Marcia.

[divalasvegas]

And why eat that luscious, beautiful fruit you just purchased from your local farmer's market when you can "save" it?

The One and Only Fruit Saver

Don't worry; if you don't have the whole $79.99 right now. This too can be yours for as low as $7.99 a month.

Oh joy.

[chef koo]

remember those defrosting plates? sold like hot cakes until people realized it was just a real high tech looking slab of cast iron. then people just used their cast iron pans

[Wayne]

The Bagel Slicer.

A plastic frame to hold a bagel while slicing to prevent slicing one's hand.

[Rachel Perlow]

2) A banana slicer as in here (scroll down about one third down the page, to the left):  For Those Pesky Bananas

←

This thread reminded me I have banana chips sitting in my dehydrator in the garage, for about a week, whoops! They're quite brown and stuck to the tray.

"i just saw the bassomatic ad on a saturday night live rerun show. very funny and exceedingly gross. it was a blender that you put a bass in (which dan ackroyd did for the skit) so that you could get all the nutrients of the fish without scaling or fileting. then you would just drink it. bleecchh!"

←

Ah, so that was the inspiration for Fear Factor.

[Eden]

electric crepe griddle ($149! Do you really NEED this?)

A friend of mine has an electric crepe pan (might be different?) that she just adores.

It has a slight dome to it's surface which you invert into your batter bowl to coat & then turn right side up to let cook. (and flip when browned)

Personally I found it more of a pain in the ass than just making crepes the normal way... Plus you don't get all the extra butter in there from the frying process! (OMG, I just realized - they should add the phrase "low fat crepes" to their marketing materials!)

Can anyone here explain avocado slicers to me? it's just an avocado for goodness sakes, it's not hard (or if it is you shouldn't be slicing it yet!)

Oh and re the marshmallow roaster, I'm with Terrasanct, I like to set them on fire. It would be kind of cool to watch the flames rotating though

[Mike L.]

How could all you brilliant cooks forget the totally worthless asparagus peeler?

Mike

[andiesenji]

I have a bagel slicer but it has a pointy blade that really cuts through the bagels rapidly, which really helps when one is preparing stuff for a bunch of people and one does not want inexperienced helpers slicing their fingers off with your expensive and very sharp knives.

Bagel biter.

Someone gave me one of the Ginsu ones and it did not work.

[jgarner53]

Who really needs one of these? Unless you really want to get nuts about battering things...

Batter Buddy

Or a special cooker, just for eggs?

Eggcellent!

And once they're cooked, of course, you need one of these:

eggstractor

This site's just flush with useless items to clutter up your kitchen (and the rest of your house)

[divalasvegas]

Who really needs one of these? Unless you really want to get nuts about battering things...

Batter Buddy

Or a special cooker, just for eggs?

Eggcellent!

And once they're cooked, of course, you need one of these:

eggstractor

This site's just flush with useless items to clutter up your kitchen (and the rest of your house)

←

I totally agree with you regarding the eggcellent cooker and the eggstractor jgarner53--the latter of which looks like it could also be used for adult recreational activities. However, I have actually considered and will probably purchase the Batter Buddy since I usually make a total mess of my counter (and sometimes myself) when I set out to batter/coat/flour items for frying. I won't pay $20 bucks for it, though.

[Me slinking off in shame after making such a humiliating, public confession.]

Edited for grammar.

Edited August 18, 2005 by divalasvegas (log)

[jgm]

The Bagel Slicer.

A plastic frame to hold a bagel while slicing to prevent slicing one's hand.

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I've never worked in an emergency room, but I'm told that such places see an inordinate number of injuries due to people slicing their hands while slicing bagels. I would expect this thing to be especially handy when children are trying to do it.

Personally, I just have the bakery do it. They do it badly, but they do it.

[racheld]

There's a bagel HOLDER hanging by its little leather lanyard in my pantry. It's a beautiful piece of maple, carved into a nice little rectangular block with a half-bagel sized groove, which is in turn grooved by a sawed-in space which the knife is SUPPOSED to slice down into. Good luck. But it's a lovely piece of woodwork, and I like looking at its pretty varnished little self.

The Batter Buddy is a neat IDEA, and as such, I adopted it as soon as I saw the commercials. I shake stuff in a gallon Ziploc, then dump the whole thing into my salad spinner, which is one of those first models, with two bowls, one perforated. All the flour goes through into the bottom bowl, which is old enough and bendy enough to squeeze just enough to make a pouring lip to get all the flour back into the bag, which then goes into the freezer for next time.

Sounds a bit twee and complicated, but it's a matter of two minutes, and the shrimp/chicken bits/vegetables are all coated and ready for deep frying.

I also have a bagful of plastic stuff...four of the card-suit-shaped little round red handles, each sporting a sharp little plastic spade, diamond, etc., shaped bottom. You just lay out cheese slices, ham, salami, bread, etc., and hop back and forth from one to the other, cutting cute little divots out of the slices, til you have a little stack, which the built-in plunger ejects. Stick in one of those frillpicks, and you're ready for a GURRMETT treat!! (They were a GIFT--decreases my shame factor, but I DID try 'em once, so it balances out).

I gave away the set of four egg-coddlers to a guest who waxed ecstatic over them, and still have four or five mandolines, in a whole spectrum of plastic colors, lurking and waiting to bite in various unused cabinet space.

And some I really like---half-moon plastic thingies like miniature versions of that hinged foldit omelet pan...the edges are nicely fluted, and they make quick work of anything folded into dough...great empanadas, fruit pies, a big one for a nice Pasty, etc. Even potstickers, if you're not too particular about the exact traditional fluting of the edges.

And I used a tortilla press maybe twice. It went the way of all gadgets, into a box for the next Goodwill run. And I called Williams Sonoma and actually anticipated the arrival of this stuff...where's the blushing smilie?

[anzu]

How about this garlic peeler?

I can understand the garlic peeling gadget where you roll the garlic clove in a type of tube, as this might be useful for those with arthritis.

Of course, my preferred method is a hefty thwack with the side of the cleaver. It's not that often that it's important for the garlic cloves to be whole.

[Gifted Gourmet]

For sheer nomenclature, I vote for the Bagel Guillotine!

[racheld]

And, by extension from cooking back to hunting and gathering, there's always the ever-popular Pocket Fisherman.