Quirky things that happen in restaurants

[Peter B Wolf]

What irks me most is waitpeople forgetting who gets what, and having the nerve to ask. If it happens to me, I usually tell them something I did not order at all, and get them completely confused.

I'd call someone who did that as something other than a joke a "shlemiel."

(Hey, nothing personal. You're probably a nice guy, except to waiters who forget who gets which dish.)

"shlemiel"

n : a person who is gullible and easy to take advantage of [syn: chump, fish, fool, gull, mark, patsy, fall guy, sucker, schlemiel, soft touch, mug]

Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

Don't mind to be called Schlemiel, it's a cute word, when my Grandmother used to call me that, I always associated it with witticism. Guess I am wrong, see above. And a sucker I am not. so there.

[Ruby]

What irks me most is waitpeople forgetting who gets what, and having the nerve to ask. If it happens to me, I usually tell them something I did not order at all, and get them completely confused.

I'd call someone who did that as something other than a joke a "shlemiel."

(Hey, nothing personal. You're probably a nice guy, except to waiters who forget who gets which dish.)

"shlemiel"

n : a person who is gullible and easy to take advantage of [syn: chump, fish, fool, gull, mark, patsy, fall guy, sucker, schlemiel, soft touch, mug]

Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

Don't mind to be called Schlemiel, it's a cute word, when my Grandmother used to call me that, I always associated it with witticism. Guess I am wrong, see above. And a sucker I am not. so there.

Peter, you're no shlemiel. My mom used to use that word a lot and also shlamuzzel (sp). There's an old joke - something about what's the difference between a shlemiel and a shlamuzzel? I don't remember word for word but it goes something like this: The shlemiel drops the soup and the shlamuzzel gets the soup in their lap.

IMO your story was cute and you really were just responding to my original post which I didn't think was negative. I did say it was 'non earth shattering' - these are things/customs I noticed in restaurants and was just asking people to share their observations. No biggie.

[stellabella]

Basildog -- Do you have problems with theft of pepper mills?  

good question, cabrales--

basildog--theft of anything?  dishes, salt/peppers, creamers, flatware, toilet paper [from the loos]?  i always wonder about this.  especially at the places that serve their coffee in fabulous chunky mugs, for example--i once had tea after my meal at a trendy atlanta diner--tea was served in the most incredible little syracuse teapot with blue tipping.  did i ever covet that teapot!  since then i've been on a quest and never have found one, even at the syracuse china outlet.

i didn't steal it but i seriously considered it--i am being honest here--i mean, it was so beautiful.  but i am not that tacky.  or desperate.

do you ever have diners/clients offering to buy your dishes, etc., from you?

[Deacon]

Why not ask one of the staff, or the owner himself if he is present, where the restaurant get its table service? Buy the things you want straight from them--if they'll sell to non-restaurateurs.

[Basildog]

We have had no theft from our place apart from

1) the formentioned Table

2) a butter dish (but this may have been chucked in the bin)

3) we lost the glass shutters from above our door....attempted break in.they removed the glass to gain entry,standing on the door knob.the door knob gave way, so they left empty handed..the dustman then took the glass away as rubbish.

We have only had 2 people in 4 years leave without paying

1) Single Guest who " forgot his wallet".said he would return the next day, and as it was only a small bill, i said fine.He did not return the next day, so everyone had a laugh at my expense........BUT he did return 6 weeks later as part of a bigger table, and 1/2 way threw his meal he remmbered that he owed me money.Had totally forgotten to come back..so he paid there and then and left a HUGE tip to say sorry

2)Also single male diner, bit worse for wear went outside for a cigarette, and took his coffee with him, then i looked and he had left!I thought he was local , so 1 telephone call and i had his name, occupation, address and telephone number(god i love small towns).He returned shamed faced to pay his bill..and a tip..But i'm still down 1 coffe cup.

We also have had only 1 bad cheque and 1 dodgy credit card. We just don't attract the criminal types

And yes i know this is not normal

[cabrales]

We have only had 2 people in 4 years leave without paying . . . .We also have had only 1 bad cheque and 1 dodgy credit card. We just don't attract the criminal types

And yes i know this is not normal

Basildog's description led me to wonder what level of theft, phony credit cards and/or leaving without paying might be "normal" in a restaurant in, say, New York or London.   I wonder if the described problems increase or decrease with more expensive restaurants.  

Apologies if this topic has been discussed previously on the board.

[Pan]

n : a person who is gullible and easy to take advantage of [syn: chump, fish, fool, gull, mark, patsy, fall guy, sucker, schlemiel, soft touch, mug]

Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

Don't mind to be called Schlemiel, it's a cute word, when my Grandmother used to call me that, I always associated it with witticism. Guess I am wrong, see above. And a sucker I am not. so there.

My folks always told me that the shlimazl (literally: slim luck)was the one who always tripped and the shlemiel was the one who tripped him.

[Pan]

There's an old joke - something about what's the difference between a shlemiel and a shlamuzzel? I don't remember word for word but it goes something like this: The shlemiel drops the soup and the shlamuzzel gets the soup in their lap.

Yeah, you're right, Ruby: That's the story.

But considering the meaning of the story puts a way different connotation on the word "shlemiel" than "sucker," etc. A shlemiel is a clumsy or perhaps heavy-handed person who creates trouble for others. Anyway, that's how I've always understood the word.

[Tonyfinch]

I know its an obvious one but to me the quirkiest thing that goes on in high end restaurants is the struggle for control of the wine bottle.

I want the wine within reach either in a chill bucket or on the table and I want to pour it myself when I want to.Why this should be a problem for any restaurant is beyond me.I will without fail ask for the wine to be left with our table and many restaurants are happy to comply.However I have encountered hostility,resistance,uncertainty(one waitress said she'd have to go and ask the maitre'd "if it was all right"!)

and,on one occasion,a refusal ("its our policy to serve the wine throughout the meal sir").

What is the problem? Is it JUST that they hope that by pouring it out we'll drink faster and order another bottle? Or is it a subtle form of intimidation in the unspoken power struggle between server and served?

[cabrales]

Tony -- One factor may be that traditionally, restaurants aspiring for excellent service believe that the sommelier team should be pouring all beverages, including refilling glasses at an appropriate time before they become empty (or very shortly thereafter, in the event the diner suddenly picks up the pace on wine consumption during a meal). Thus, the restaurant team's desire to pour wine and water may be a reflection of its genuine desire to provide good service. A diner's choice to pour his own beverages may have negative externalities (i.e., perceptions of other diners that the restaurant is not furnishing excellent service) that are not borne by such diner.  

[Ruby]

I know its an obvious one but to me the quirkiest thing that goes on in high end restaurants is the struggle for control of the wine bottle.

I want the wine within reach either in a chill bucket or on the table and I want to pour it myself when I want to.Why this should be a problem for any restaurant is beyond me.I will without fail ask for the wine to be left with our table and many restaurants are happy to comply.However I have encountered hostility,resistance,uncertainty(one waitress said she'd have to go and ask the maitre'd "if it was all right"!)

and,on one occasion,a refusal ("its our policy to serve the wine throughout the meal sir").

What is the problem? Is it JUST that they hope that by pouring it out we'll drink faster and order another bottle? Or is it a subtle form of intimidation in the unspoken power struggle between server and served?

Tony, control of the wine pouring is a biggie. In Jeffrey Steingarten's book "The Man Who Ate Everything" he goes into how, when the main courses arrived, a captain quickly poured the remaining expensive bottle of wine into glasses although they were still half full and how the captain had the nerve to ask "Would you like a bottle of wine with your main course?" The author notes that had the captain attended the NY Professional Service School, he would have learned that you never fill a glass more than half full and never refill it until the customer has only about two sips left. That most people who spend money on wine like to see how it develops in the glass, etc.

Constant pouring of bottled water is another thing I've noticed because my tap water is never refilled with the same relish.  

[Ruby]

Thus, the restaurant team's desire to pour wine and water may be a reflection of its genuine desire to provide good service. A diner's choice to pour his own beverages may have negative externalities (i.e., perceptions of other diners that the restaurant is not furnishing excellent service) that are not borne by such diner.  

Cabrales, good points. On the humorous side, I think it's funny that other diners not only eavesdrop on other tables, they also watch us as we guzzle our wine.  

[tommy]

i find the above completely disparate explanations of the "control of the wine bottle" issue somewhat revealing...but not surprising.

servers have rarely been able to keep up with my consumption.

edit:  i shouldn't be allowed to type before 10 am.

[Ruby]

i find the above completely disparate explanations of the "control of the wine bottle" issue somewhat revealing...but not surprising.

What's your point???

[Steve Plotnicki]

The word "mazel" in Yiddish means luck. Like wishing someone Mazel Tov on the birth of their child means good (tov) luck (mazel.) So a schlemazel is someone with bad luck. That is why the soup that someone else spills is on their pants. But it is really more than just a single incident of bad luck. A schlemazel has terminal bad luck. He is always in the wrong place at the wrong time. A schlemiel on the other hand is someone who always chooses wrong and is the cause of their own poor fate, but acts like it isn't their fault. They spill the soup every time because they don't learn from their mistakes. Yet, they always try and carry the soup.

[Bux]

I asked a wine waiter to leave a half bottle of red wine on the table. He told me he was forbidden to do that. The only reason I asked was that I had let my fish dish go cold waiting for my white wine which was sitting in a bucket at the other end of the room. We passed the halfway mark on that bottle only after I finished eating my fish with an empty glass beside me, but left a third or more that was never offered although at one point the other waiter lifted the bottle looked at the wine then at us eating our lamb and drinking our red wine. He sheepishly lowered the bottle into the cooler and left the scene. We managed to finish all of the red wine, but only with considerable hand waving when our glasses were empty. A two star restaurant with excellent food and fine service in every other department. It was an exemplary inn in every other aspect, but the wine service looms so large in my memory.

[tommy]

if they insist on taking it, i explain that they'll get one chance to get it right.  after that, it stays.  

i also will often not order until the first bottle shows up at the table.  especially during lunch in NYC, the apps will come out long before the wine.  generally after the second approach by the server "are you ready to order", i'll say something to the effect of "when i'm ready, i'll call you over, thanks."

again, i see nothing wrong with controlling a situation to insure that the outcome is enjoyable.  those who don't and complain that their experience was less than perfect are destined to a life of not getting what they want, and complaining.  

[Niall]

I find that accidentally tapping my glass with my fork gets my glass refilled if the wait staff haven't noticed my empty glass for a while. If my glass is consistently empty I will ask for the bottle to be left...

[Bux]

I find that accidentally tapping my glass with my fork gets my glass refilled

and my wife said "if you're going to do that and expect me to sit here with you, I'd prefer that you just get up and get the bottle yourself."

[tommy]

I find that accidentally tapping my glass with my fork gets my glass refilled

and my wife said "if you're going to do that and expect me to sit here with you, I'd prefer that you just get up and get the bottle yourself."

as it turns out, jason rarely has dinner with your wife.  

edit:  as far as you know...