Hi,I'll be your server tonight, how is everything?

[Chris Amirault]

However the reasoning behind the mandatory pepper beats me

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Well, I once had dinner at some mid-range joint in Maine with an older relative, and when the pepper mill came out, it got precisely the sort of response intended: "Oh! Why, yes! I'd LOVE some pepper! Freshly ground! And look at the size of that thing! Real wood!" etc. etc.

Methinks it's kinda like that for more folks than my aunt....

[ladyyoung98]

i dont think ive ever had pepper offered to me ebfore i tasted th food on the plate..so im guessign that thus far ive been very lucky there...do i feel put on the spot when asked how everything is...no that doesnt bother me.....however what bothers me is the timing of the question...no matter where you go for that nice dinner that question always comes at the same moment everywhere....ya'll know that moment...

its that time just after you have put a forkful of food in your mouth and are busy chewing when the waiter or waitress comes to your table and asks with that overly eager smile....."how is everything"..or "is everything ok"

what id like to do is request that they come back when ive got no food in my mouth......i cant tell them that though let alone tell them how everything is since ive got food in my mouth..or had they not noticed?

i realize they are trying to be courteous and its their job...but seems to me that a more opportune moment can be chosen for the question...like when you have no food in your mouth.....

Edited November 23, 2004 by ladyyoung98 (log)

[bilrus]

I'd be curious to know what kind of establishment FoodTutor works in that she's not only required to tell customers her name, the "recommended" appetizer, and launch into the specials before the customers have even unfolded their napkins. I imagine a tired server (FT or someone else) rattling off, "hi-my-name-is-food-tutor-and-i'll-be-your-server-would-you-like-to-start-off-with-some-buffalo-wings-and-our-specials-are..." in about 20 seconds flat.

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Well, it's more upscale than buffalo wings, but it is pretty casual as well. It's a chain of 50 restaurants that is known for both having excellent prime rib and having super speedy service. Really, really fast service.

And my greet doesn't sound quite like that, actually. I'm not allowed to say "and I'll be your server" because that's superfluous, and it really sounds dumb, anyway. I say, "My name is. . ." and then I'm supposed to ask if I can get them a beverage, but I usually offer something to drink. Beverage sounds a little strange to me.

And then, this is the worst part. I can't say "Our specials today are. . ." even if the guest asks what the "specials" are. We don't have specials, because, of course, all of our entrees are special. We do, however, have "additions to our menu for the day."

And then sometimes people stop me in the middle of it and say they'll just have the grilled chicken salad, because they always have the grilled chicken salad.

Yup. It's really hard to be smiley and fun over and over again, all day long. Knowing that Jackal thinks I'm "begging" doesn't make it any better, either.

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It seems like this post could go in the "How you know you're dining in the wrong concept" thread.

But Food Tutor seems to be handling it in the right way.

This exchange on Rachael Ray's $40 a Day show just cracked me right up.  Next time I'm greeted that way in a restaurant, I am going to say the same thing.

Waitress: "Hi, my name is Lilah, and I'll be your server tonight."

Rachael Ray: "Hi, my name is Rachael, and I'll be your diner tonight."

I very much doubt if the eternally perky Ms. Ray meant to mock the waitress, but I can imagine someone taking offense at that remark.  Rachael's response is deliciously ambiguous, possibly derisive in a subtle way, possibly not.

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I'm not sure Rachel is possible of being that subversive.

I don't necessarily mind the informality because it is hard to figure out what they are being forced to say or do. For example I don't think waiters like being forced to clip and pin cute things to their outfit becoming ever more garish and absurd but there are a few national chains that evaluate performance based upon a waiter's spirit, a.k.a. the junk pinned to their clothes.

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In yet another movie reference (Office Space) - "I don't really like to talk about my Flair."

Edited November 23, 2004 by bilrus (log)

[jackal10]

Yup. It's really hard to be smiley and fun over and over again, all day long. Knowing that Jackal thinks I'm "begging" doesn't make it any better, either.

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My apologies. You have a tough job. My comments were more about the set-up that makes staff depend on "voluntary" payments. Since they are habitual, rather than voluntary and a reward for above average service, why not increase the prices by 15%, and pay the staff a decent wage?

It is really a cultural difference. In Europe, at least in some parts, waiting is an honorable salaried profession. Some places refuse to take tips, believing it is demeaning and unfair to the staff, who will have pride in what they do, and do their best anyway. In the US, the set up is that staff have to survive mostly on tips, and hence try and maximise them.

I guess also, in this economic climate, more are waiting at table, rather than doing what they really want to do...

[Daddy-A]

I find it very interesting to note that many of the things that irk diners on this thread are items on the checklist provided to secret shoppers. If a server doesn't do those things, it can pop up as a hideous black mark on the report from the shop, and there will certainly be some explaining to do, with the server possibly being suspended or fired.

Aaaaahk! The Secret Shopper! Gawd I hate that method of corporate culture management. I know why it exists, and I'd probably use it myself, but it just feels so sleezy! It also limits "flexibility" which often is required in this thing called life.

There was a programme on the CBC last year called something like Back to the Floor where corporate execs spent a few days on the "floor" of their company, working with all levels of employees. It gave them a chance to experience first hand how their executive decisions played out in the real world. One of them (CEO of some big retail chain) got "busted" by a secret shopper. When he returned to the board room, they started re-thinking the secret shopper.

Back on topic ... I don't mind the quaility check. One phrase does irk me though: How are things so far?

Answer: Great so far, but any minute now I'm sure it'll all go to hell.

A.

[TheFoodTutor]

This is an interesting report.  I would guess, based on it, that you work for a mid-level chain restaurant?  And that the goals of the chain/secret shopper is not wholly to provide quality service (checking back), though that is part of it, but to provide uniform service (the precise timing required) from store to store and to maximize customer spending (pushing a specific appetizer, reciting the specials list immediately). 

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Well, it's sort of a nicer chain, but the secret shopper thing is a royal pain, as Daddy-A described. I've waited on secret shoppers who were pleasant, simply out to have a good time and looking for anything that would seriously inhibit a nice experience for the guest. And I've waited on secret shoppers who thought it was a game to see how many mistakes they could point out, playing a game of "Gotcha!" against someone who falls into a category of people they don't like. Or they simply don't get what the corporation is looking for, scanning the server for any mention of "specials," when in fact, she's unable to even use that word.

Some of the requirements, like mentioning an appetizer, suggesting a specific one and offering to fetch it right away, do have a purpose. I assume, sometimes, that someone may arrive in a state of semi-starvation, or at least a period of low blood sugar, and offering to get him something right this moment could be a godsend. We have 2 whole appetizers available, with sometimes a third available as "an addition to the menu" so mentioning something specific allows the guest to focus quickly on whether they want something to nosh on or not, but asking if the guest wants "an appetizer?" prompts them to scour our menu, which is one whole page - you'd be surprised how long it takes people to read something so short - and have a moment of confusion. With only 2 appetizers, I do find it's much quicker to ask if they want to start off with smoked salmon or spinach dip than it would be to wait for the guests to read that themselves. And then, presumably, I can head off dealing with someone falling into a diabetic coma because I didn't offer them something right away.

And immediate quality check can be useful, too, but you folks couldn't possibly guess some of the situations I've seen where it is. You see, if you like to have your steak cooked extra, extra well-done, you can tell just by looking at it, the moment it's plopped in front of you and without cutting into it, whether it's properly had the living daylights cooked out of it, making it dry as a bone. So I can be there immediately to remove the offending steak, with its slight remnants of juiciness, and whisk it back to the kitchen to have it burned beyond recognition.

I don't wait on the classiest element of the population, but I try to do my job well, anyway.

Apology accepted, Jackal. And you're entirely correct about the economy pushing more folks into serving jobs. My restaurant is now fully-staffed, and that's the first time I've ever seen that happen. God help us.

[phaelon56]

"How's everything" is a question that should not be asked.

.....  it shifts the responsibility from the waiter to the customer for things wrong. It should be the waiter, by their own observation, that ensures everything is good. That is their responsibility. That is what they are there for.

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I disagree. The waiter does not prepare the food. Other than ensuring that it's picked up and served promptly once the kitchen has completed the order, how is a waiter to know there's a problem unless the customer is grimacing and making faces when attempting to eat the food.. I still contend that it's the one significant opportunity a customer has to complain and ask that problems be rectified.

I do agree that anyone foolish enough it say "Fine" when i'ts not has comleted the "contract". They've also allowed themselves to be sucked into paying for a meal that was not up to par if there were problems and they chose not to complain.

I've worked in the retail and wholesale trades, food and beverage service and hte technology industry. When I'm a client/customer, I consider it my obligation as part of the vendor/consumer relatiomnship, to bring problems and issues to the attention of the supplier or service provider. That's my side of the contract. When I'm acting in the role of vendor or service provider, there may be times at which I'm unaware that there's a problem unless someone complains.

In my current role, I don't build our products, do the marketing or write the user documentation. In my role as a back-line support engineer, however, I'm extremely grateful when people take the initiative to complain if problems exist or arise - I can't amend, correct or improve problems that I'm unaware of. It should be no different when I dine out.

[petite tête de chou]

I immensely dislike being interrupted when dining.

As I see it, my responsibility as a diner is to be courteous, speak up with my questions before ordering, tip fairly and pay promptly.

It's seems to me that the servers responsibilities include but are not limited to being courteous (please don't fawn all over me), answer and ask questions before and during the ordering process (recommendations welcomed), serve meal as ordered- I shouldn't ever have to remind server of any part of my order- drinks, sides, etc. I shouldn't have to ask for ANY of the required elements- flatware, water, napkins, wine list, etc.

A "to the manner born" (I'm sure that this will be viewed as snobbery ) server will be a keen ob(server) of body language and be able to anticipate that a diner might need something without intruding upon them with inane questions.

I don't know if this is cultural or ? but I've been to Chinese, Japanese and Thai restaurants where my server would make eye-contact with me and seem to know when to approach the table. Uncanny. And preferred.

The service business can be tough, tough, tough and my hat is off to those who both enjoy doing it and do it well. Cheers!

[Daniel Rogov]

First of all, Bravo to Food Tutor, for she is doing nothing more than surviving and holding on to her job by playing the game by the rules set for her. In restaurants of the type descrbied by Food Tutor, the fault is not that of the waitstaff but of the owners, managers and consultancy teams they have built. I will say though that restaurants like that receive my trade twice - the first and the last time!

Among my own pet peeves -

1. Walking into a restaurant at which I am a total stranger and someone greeting me with a hyper-warm and solicitious "Hi, and how are you today?" as if they know about some terrible and probably fatal disease I have and may not even know about myself.

2. Being told the name of the waitperson. I respect waiters and waitresses enormously when they do their job well and I am well aware of the very hard work that they have (physically and psychologically). Frankly though, I care no more about their names than I do about their marital status, the health of their mothers, or whatever problem they may be having with their automobiles. My portion of that contract is to behave like a gentleperson, to pay my bill, to leave an appropriate tip (in places where that is the custom).

3. Related to the above, I'm all for warmth but am all against familiarity. I acknowledge that waiters and waitresses are not my servants but we have entered into a kind of social contract - that it is their responsibility to present my food and to aid me in whatever problems I may have while in their care, and not to become "pals". (Don't misunderstand - at meals when the service is especially good I am the first, on the way out, to thank the waitperson and, if it seems appropriate, to shake their hand..... I will not, however, give them my business card)

4. Almost as bad as the waitperson with problems with peripheral vision (he/she never sees you until it is convenient for them) is the one who hovers over you asking continuously whether "all is well" or some variation on that theme. No civilized person can enjoy dining when interupted every few minutes with questions that are asked entirely out of rote.

5. In my role as restaurant critic one of the things I do on entering a restaurant (any restaurant, no matter whether the most prestigious or the simplest) is to stand at the door and time the number of seconds or minutes Ihave to wait until someone greets me. I don't give a hoot how busy a restaurant is at any given moment...someone should be there to greet incoming clients.

Enough of a mini-rant. And believe me, when someone starts an appropriate thread I can also come up with a long, long list of things that irk me to the point of screaming when it comes to customers.

Edited November 24, 2004 by Daniel Rogov (log)

[jackal10]

Another annoyance, and equally a pleasure and a sign of good service when it is got right, is whether the server remembers who is having what. I hate it when the food appears with the question "Who is having medium rare?" etc. If the notion is to simulate personal service, its another question that should not be asked. Its something chains could easily implement, rather than the specious over familiarity and announcement of name, shoe size etc..

Its not so hard. If the order is taken at the table a simple sketch of the table with number of which guest has ordered what is taken by the server on the order pad. It's slightly trickier where the order is taken in the lounge or bar before seating, where a brief pen description is needed (e.g male, bow tie, glasses). This then enables the serving staff to silently lay the right cutlery and get the right food to the right person. Alas some of the radio terminals don't allow this, which is poor system design.

[HOOLIGAN]

I'd only like to add that I too think the author to be a real douche. If this happened to me at ADNY I'd flip. If this happened at my rest. I'd flip. That said, he's clearly is depicting everyday joints. Lighten up.

[Pan]

Among my own pet peeves -

1. Walking into a restaurant at which I am a total stranger and someone greeting me with a hyper-warm and solicitious "Hi, and how are you today?" as if they know about some terrible and probably fatal disease I have and may not even know about myself.

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That's partly cultural. I wouldn't be surprised by such treatment in the South, for example.

believe me, when someone starts an appropriate thread I can also come up with a long, long list of things that irk me to the point of screaming when it comes to customers.

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Please feel free to start such a thread.

[NulloModo]

Regarding the warm greetings: I love those, as long as they feel genuine, as in the host/hostess is really happy to have me as a customer. If it seems scripted, I just get a dirty feeling.

Working in service or sales there are entire books about building repoire and establishing bonds with customers. In my personal experience though, it only works if you take an actual interest in who you are helping. Try to be their friend to the extent that you really want to make their experience the best possible, not just put a layer of fake friendship on top of mechanized actions to boost a tip/commission.

[tommy]

i hate when people are nice. i can see right through it.

[Pan]

i hate when people are nice.  i can see right through it.

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[TheFoodTutor]

Another annoyance, and equally a pleasure and a sign of good service when it is got right, is whether the server remembers who is having what. I hate it when the food appears with the question "Who is having medium rare?" etc.

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In restaurant terms, this is referred to as the "auctioning" method of serving food, and the alternative is called "pivot points." Pivot points are far preferable to auctioning, and they're fairly easy to implement, the only difficulty being minor confusion over which chair is seat #1 at a round table.

In my opinion, any restaurant classy enough not to have the words "Shack" or "Pit" in the name of the establishment is also classy enough to use pivot points instead of auctioning.

[TheFoodTutor]

Oh, dear. Sorry. Double post due to a glitch on my computer.

Edited November 25, 2004 by TheFoodTutor (log)

[nckd]

I also have a pet peeve about overly familiar waitstaff. Warm and polite is good, but I don't need to feel like the server is my friend. I really don't need the server to try to insinuate him or herself into my table's conversation, which is rare but not rare enough.

Closely related, I dislike waiters who try to flirt with diners. I don't know whether to think he's trying to improve his tip or just acting like a creep. You'd think they'd have some understanding of how unsettling that is. I especially dislike being touched by waiters, unless I actually know them outside the context of the restaurant. This may have something to do with having been punched in the back by one of those creepily flirtatious waiters a few years ago. (The owner was very nice about it, but I can't say I ever felt like eating there again.)

I dislike being treated like I've never been to a restaurant before. I realize waitstaff at a lot of chains are forced to treat their customers that way, but I have this problem other places, too. I know I look young, but I don't like waiters treating me like this is the first time I've been in a decent restaurant in my life because they don't notice my grey hairs.

Customers deserve to be treated decently regardless of the waiter's prejudices.