Dinner Conversation

[brioboy]

With children I've found any overt discussion of tablemanners is an immediate invitation to disobey and feign putting feet on table, eating with fingers etc. Cuteness wears off quickly.

Also, at dinner with my parents as a young man trying to be freethinking and show an adventurous mind about gastronomy I praised the wonderful stinky french cheese I had just discovered (epoisses de bourgogne) as having that part of the odor of one's own farts that is perversely pleasurable. Won't try that again.

[Fat Guy]

I only discuss politics with people who disagree with me, because there are few things less interesting than listening to a bunch of people agree with each other about politics -- as is the case at almost any dinner party in New York City. I also only discuss politics with people who can disagree with me in a civil manner -- as is never the case at any dinner party in New York City. So, basically, I don't discuss politics at dinner parties in New York City. In New Jersey, maybe.

[bergerka]

I only discuss politics with people who disagree with me, because there are few things less interesting than listening to a bunch of people agree with each other about politics -- as is the case at almost any dinner party in New York City. I also only discuss politics with people who can disagree with me in a civil manner -- as is never the case at any dinner party in New York City. So, basically, I don't discuss politics at dinner parties in New York City. In New Jersey, maybe.

Generalize much?

We've had many and many a polite political disagreement around our dinner table, although I don't recall our discussing politics when you were there... it is possible, though, even in New York City.

Based upon prior experience, I would say the only taboo topic would be expressing dislike of Rossini, Bellini or Donizetti when an unreasonably fanatical (redundant?) advocate of those composers (no, Sam, I don't mean you, you are able to deal perfectly well with others not liking them) is at the same table, as said fanatic will begin to sing some Lucia di Lammermoor under her breath while stabbing at the tablecloth with her butter knife, and no, I don't mean me, either. This was an isolated incident involving a very scary one-time dinner guest - I thought we were about to see murder and mayhem committed.

I try to avoid religion, though, since it's pretty much a slam dunk that NO ONE is going to want to hear what I think on the subject.

K

Edited to add that although sex (and who is sleeping with whom) is always intriguing over one's capon, except among intimate acquaintances (not necessarily THAT intimate, they just have to be REALLY CLOSE friends), the topic of certain obscure sexual practices is probably best left alone.

Edited April 23, 2004 by bergerka (log)

[Pan]

I think I'd be curious to hear what you think about religion some time.

[Bicycle Lee]

can one only enjoy hearing about sex over a capon?

[jackal10]

As I mentioned further up, in polite society sex, even obscure practices is perfectly aceptable dinner conversation. Attributing those practices to named individuals is not. That rules out, unfortunately, the fascinating topic of who is sleeping with whom.

[auntdot]

As for religion and politics, as long as you are with folk who understand that reasonable people can have diametrically opposite opinions from their own, you are safe.

However, I never bring up either of those topics.

If others do, wait to see how things are developing before opening my trap.

If the temperature seems to be getting too high, try to change the subject.

And order another martini and ask the waiter to keep them coming.

[robyn]

I only discuss politics with people who disagree with me, because there are few things less interesting than listening to a bunch of people agree with each other about politics -- as is the case at almost any dinner party in New York City. I also only discuss politics with people who can disagree with me in a civil manner -- as is never the case at any dinner party in New York City. So, basically, I don't discuss politics at dinner parties in New York City. In New Jersey, maybe.

These sound like reasonable rules to me. After all - New York City is a place where everyone thinks Mayor Bloomberg is a real Republican .

Seriously - it's boring to discuss things like politics/religion and the like with people who agree with you. And disruptive to discuss these things with people who disagree (e.g., perhaps most of you don't have members of your family who are "born again" - I do - and let's just say that discussions between Jews and "born again" Christians don't make for pleasant dinner talk).

Also - when you have aged parents who are preoccupied with health issues 24/7 - it is really a total bore to discuss medical problems (I know more than I ever wanted to know about 2 dozen medical problems - and I don't have any interest in learning about 3 dozen more - from anyone).

I really like to keep dinner conversation on the lighter - but interesting side. There are so many things people can talk about - and disagree about - while finding no need to get really upset about the disagreements. Robyn

[tommy]

These sound like reasonable rules to me.  After all - New York City is a place where everyone thinks Mayor Bloomberg is a real Republican  .

it's a crazy place with crazy people!!!! oh man!!!!

for me, i use as few words as possible, and gauge the situation. i generally pull back, (that is, "shut up"), when i feel it's not going over well.

i'm mean, my MIL, she's really conservative, and she's go these views on stuff, and i tell, her, i'm like "hey, you know, that's so wrong", and she just goes on. and then my wife gets involved, and she's like "hey, wow, but i agree", and we're all educated, and then we all agree, and man, i'm torn.

it's so wacky though, i have to admit.

Edited April 26, 2004 by tommy (log)