Your Culinary Nemesis in the Kitchen

[balmagowry]

I slipped on a pair of Thinsulate-lined black leather gloves (normally reserved for driving on frigid winter days). Hah! It's a little fetishy, but it works.

Y'know, this reminds me of something I've been meaning to post on the Useless/Useful Gifts thread. Mention of the Ove Glove reminded me that I had coveted it when it first came out; following the link reminded me that I hadn't indulged because I thought it over-priced. But on poking around further I found that you can get - on eBay and from various other discount-y places - knit Kevlar gloves, which are really the same thing, for a fraction of the price, and that's per pair. (Yes, there's another component to the OG, some other Dupont thing which starts with N or M and whose name I disremember and won't bother to look up right now, and it too is available a lot cheaper; but as I understand it it's the Kevlar that really matters.) Makes sense - they're used in all sorts of commercial and military applications - welding, firefighting, flying, etc. I was toying with the idea of trying a pair; only hesitating because of the mixed reviews people gave the Ove, but at the price, what the hell. Anyway, I'm wondering if this wouldn't solve your problem too. If it keeps heat out, it should be equally good at keeping it in. Not to mention that being knit it must breathe at least a little, so it might be easier on your hands in hot weather.

'Course, you'd be giving up the fetishy look for something a little more... dorky... but it might just be worth it.

[hannnah]

Chocolate chip cookies? Bad news - too hard, way undercooked, burnt yet raw, you name it.  The SO, who cannot cook, of course makes them perfectly.

Cookies in general are my nemesis - I've tried and tried and tried, and I end up with one giant tasteless sheet-pan-sized ball of glop. I could put a single one-inch ball of dough on a full sheet pan and end up with an extremely thin giant cookie, and I still can't figure out why or what I'm doing wrong.

There is precisely one cookie recipe I've managed to make successfully, and that one has so much stuff in it that the individual cookies can't possibly melt into the giant cookie glob of doom, since they have an internal structure of rice krispies, mini m&ms, and oatmeal.

I'm still having trouble with buttercream as well, but since I've only done that two or three times I'm unwilling to admit defeat as yet.

[hannahcooks]

For those of y'all with biscuit problems, I highly recommend Alton Brown's biscuit episode.

My nemeses are:

-ricotta gnocchi (and I think it's my own fault. I always forget to drain the ricotta first- plus, I suspect this is something I'm not going to be too inspired to master when I always pop over to Angeli Caffe for theirs)

-lemon curd, for use in a pie. It never, ever, ever firms up enough. Or at all.

[sassybat]

yeast bread. i can't, for the life of me, bake a decent loaf of yeast bread. mixing and kneading, fine. let it rise till doubled, check. punch it down, form it into loaves, and let rise again, double check. stick into over and bake, no problem. result: bread-tasting brick.

[lorea]

Ditto for me on the sourdough bread. I've tried capturing wild yeast many many times....and my starter ends up smelling like yeast. But when I actually try to bake the bread, it never rises!

You'd think I'd be able to do it correctly (I'm in the San Francisco area...home of the famous San Francisco Sourdough!) after so many tries. I can make yeast bread fine, or sourdough breads that have at least a little commercial yeast in it.

But yesterday, I was browsing around Whole Foods and aha! I found a little packet of San Francisco Sourdough starter! Maybe I'll finally be able to get that elusive perfect loaf of sourdough bread...

[GSBravo]

Rice.  It's always sticky, even when it's not supposed to be.

I have the same problem, unless you want sticky, clumpy rice. I am the master of sticky, clumpy rice.

And that's with a rice cooker.

[Rhea_S]

Slowly braised meat dishes. The recipes always seem simple, but something always goes wrong and I end up having to doctor some sort of sauce to salvage the meat. First, I don't leave enough time to cook the meat to "falling off the bone tender," so I have to keep it in the low oven and make something else for dinner. Then, I forget until I smell something starting to burn. I end up with soft pieces of meat with absolutely no liquid.

[Modern Day Hermit]

My iced cakes always come out looking like crap. Not sure if it is because I am just too lazy to buy an ofset spatula or I just stink at it. My mom can ice a cake with a butter knife and it would look perfect.

I can't make idli. I keep trying, the first batch as better than the last. It isn't the flavor that is wrong...they just fall apart and look ugly.

[sequim]

...Chocolate chip cookies? Bad news...

So, Doctor, can you help me? :)

I've had many problems with cookies, most notably spreading. One trick is to chill the dough before baking and this has really helped. They actually look like catered cookies, you know, properly small and perfectly formed. I also recently got a cookie bible-type book (name escapes me) and she went into the making of cookies, from how different fats affect them to baking pans. It helps to read a book like this to understand what's going on.

[Toasted]

phyllo dough- I know the rules, keep it covered with a damp cloth. Still, it falls apart and rips and looks like hell until I finally get it baked and then everybody eats it up. Some day I want to make pretty appetizers that sober people would actually enjoy.

[Cynthia G]

if I can manage to keep it together and keep the crumbs out of the icing, it still ends up looking like it's been spackled by a mentally ill chimpanzee...

What a great line. I can see that cake!!

[balex]

I was going to post on thiis thread, and then I thought "But I have got this problem beaten so ...", and then this evening it happened again. Spaghettii cacio e pepe --- pasta with pecorino romano and black pepper. My problem is that the cheese clumps together instead of forming a smooth sauce. I did some experiments (literally) to figure out how to beat this, and it seemed to work, and this evening I followed my recipe and that damn cheese clumped up into a single inedible ball. And then I slightly overcooked the steaks . At least the wine was good. I am so blue.

[sequim]

It's nice to see not everyone is a perfect cook/baker on eGullet. I've been feeling so inadequate when reading that thread "Dinner!, What did we cook?"...

Edited April 8, 2004 by sequim (log)

[OrmIrian]

Roast chicken! I roast it at the right temperature, for the prescribed amount of time, take its temperature, take it out of the oven, let it rest, but when I cut into it between the breast and the drumstick, the meat is always disturbingly raw.

[FistFullaRoux]

Portion control of little cookies. Big ol' drop cookies, not a problem. But little butter cookies and the like make me crazy. I've yet to find a scoop the right size, even resorted to teaspoon measurers, but they won't come out round if I do that. I'm not consistent enough with a pastry bag to make them the same size. Icing is much easier.

When they aren't all the same size, especially the little ones, they don't reach the same degree of doneness at the same time. One is burnt, the one next to it is underdone. That's why I stick with the bigger ones, and buy the little delicate ones.

[JPW]

...Chocolate chip cookies? Bad news...

So, Doctor, can you help me? :)

I've had many problems with cookies, most notably spreading. One trick is to chill the dough before baking and this has really helped. They actually look like catered cookies, you know, properly small and perfectly formed. I also recently got a cookie bible-type book (name escapes me) and she went into the making of cookies, from how different fats affect them to baking pans. It helps to read a book like this to understand what's going on.

In the spirit of the "because this is the way mom did it".

I always chilled dough for the reason (and this is what I was told) that a cold cookie dough is just easier to work with, not nearly as sticky.

It's kinda nice to know that there is another reason to do it.

[Dahomechef]

Okay . . . caramel. Every time I make caramel, when it comes time to pour in the heavy cream I get a huge hunkin lump no matter what I do, or how I do it. I can cook it out if I want to take the time, or strain it out, but why, why, why? I'm going with Balmagowry--it's just my fate.

[hathor]

Croutons. I am the queen, the goddess of burnt bread. I can set timers. I can stand right next to the oven. I can swear it will not happen again. I can have family members watching over me. But, the ONLY thing that gets me to open the over door is the smell of carbon. Fate.

[NeroW]

Some day I want to make pretty appetizers that sober people would actually enjoy.

Word. I suck at phyllo dough, but even more than that, I SUCK at making puff pastry.

[robyn]

Slowly braised meat dishes. The recipes always seem simple, but something always goes wrong and I end up having to doctor some sort of sauce to salvage the meat. First, I don't leave enough time to cook the meat to "falling off the bone tender," so I have to keep it in the low oven and make something else for dinner. Then, I forget until I smell something starting to burn. I end up with soft pieces of meat with absolutely no liquid.

When I make dishes like this - I always make them a day or two or three before - in the morning - while I'm awake . Most reheat beautifully - and taste better a day or two after the original braising.

By the way - I can't even begin to tell people here how many things I can't cook. So I won't try. Robyn

[sequim]

Roasted veggies. I love them, love their shiny glossiness and sweet goodness, but can I duplicate those luscious photos, no! Mine are rarely glossy or they're still half raw, or their tips are burned. Trying to get them timed with the roast meat is an additional nightmare.

[fyfas]

Embarassed to admit it, but scrambled eggs. Tried low heat and high heat; cream/half-and-half/whole milk/water; quick cooking and very slo-o-o-w cooking and have not once gotten them the way I'd like them.

[robyn]

Embarassed to admit it, but scrambled eggs.  Tried low heat and high heat; cream/half-and-half/whole milk/water; quick cooking and very slo-o-o-w cooking and have not once gotten them the way I'd like them.

How do you like them? Maybe someone here can help you out (you can start a new thread - indeed this thread can be the source of a lot of new threads!). Robyn

[tommy]

Pad thai. I still can't quite get the one I want. Either the flavor balance isn't quite there or the rice sticks are too soft and fall apart during the cooking.

that's a good one. i've never ever ever been very pleased with my pad thai.

it used to be mashed potatoes (dumb, i know). i finally broke the code and make pretty damned good mashed potatoes (hint: a ricer is the key to make-ahead and fluffy mashed)

[Toliver]

Embarassed to admit it, but scrambled eggs.  Tried low heat and high heat; cream/half-and-half/whole milk/water; quick cooking and very slo-o-o-w cooking and have not once gotten them the way I'd like them.

How do you like them? Maybe someone here can help you out (you can start a new thread - indeed this thread can be the source of a lot of new threads!). Robyn

Maybe they can tack on a fifth eGCI "Egg" series since "scambled" wasn't covered in any of the Egg classes.