Chinese Menu Malapropisms

[eatingwitheddie]

Over the years I have perused thousands of English language Chinese menus. It has long been a favorite amusement to take special note of incorrect spellings, typos, improperly written words, and dishes that have been creatively translated or often mistranslated.

Just yesterday, at the 46 year-old Golden Gate Restaurant in Riverdale NY, I ran across the inscrutably named 'Hit Pot' Steak, as well as 'Special International' Soup. Then there was the dim sum restaurant whose proof reader failed at editing out the 25 different 'dumb sam' items.

I'd love to hear your stories and experiences in this area. What are the funniest, silliest, most memorable things you've encountered on a Chinese restaurant menu?

[herbacidal]

hrmpf.

how dare you laugh at my brethren.

actually it's always annoyed me, but maybe that's just because i'm a chinese american with a very good vocab that spells pretty well.

[eatingwitheddie]

hrmpf.

how dare you laugh at my brethren.

actually it's always annoyed me, but maybe that's just because i'm a chinese american with a very good vocab that spells pretty well.

I can appreciate your annoyance.

The fact is I thought long and hard before posting this topic. Nevertheless in the end I would argue that this is very simply a reporting of the facts concerning these areas. It is really no different than other assimilative experiences that have been experienced by any of our country's varied ethnic groups. In fact it is a behavior associated with an incredibly industrious and successful story: this country's ubiquitous Chinese restaurant prescence is extraordinary. I actually think it would be a pity to forget about this larger and exciting context.

[MsRamsey]

There are several unconnected Chinese restaurants in Seattle with "brocalic" on the menu.

[dumpling]

The one I'll always remember was one I saw when I was little. It wasn't necessarily the misspelling that struck me although I believe it may have been misspelled. The thing was how it came across. At Ting Fu Garden they used to have their menu under the glass tabletop to peruse while you ate. So as you read it your eyes could light with desire upon "Boiled Intestine and Things". I always wondered what the "things" were but was a little hesitant to find out.

[Fat Guy]

Is there a central organization that determines menu nomenclature for all Chinese-American restaurants? It's uncanny how the most unusual malaprops manage to multiply and prosper.

I hope I'm on topic with this, but my all-time favorite is the commentary on the old red paper chopstick package:

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant. Please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history and cultual

[herbacidal]

evidently, my lack of use of emoticons has led forum leader to believe i somehow took offense at his comment.

let me elaborate:

when i bother to spell out things like hrmpf and use words like brethen i tend to be joking/satirical/etc.

[dumpling]

Is there a central organization that determines menu nomenclature for all Chinese-American restaurants? It's uncanny how the most unusual malaprops manage to multiply and prosper.

I hope I'm on topic with this, but my all-time favorite is the commentary on the old red paper chopstick package:

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant. Please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history and cultual

Steven I just got one of those two days ago with some Chinese food!

[Fat Guy]

On the same packaging, I really like the instructions for use that conclude "Now you can pick up anything!"

The menu at Grand Sichuan International Midtown could easily be its own thread, but it has some really great stuff ranging from simple misspellings -- "Preserved Trunip" -- to some amazingly intricate language in the Talmudic companion document to the menu. Someone needs to get that on disk so we can create a whole special site for it.

[jo-mel]

I don't see that many. But, I just checked my menu collection and found "Mixed Mead", "Braised Goose Wab", "Steared Bean Curd" and "Brained Pomfred" all at one NYC restaurant.

Actually it humbles me. My Chinese, with missed strokes, and wrong tones, must look as funny.

I do , however have a small packet of Steam Powder that I will keep forever. The directions say: 1/ "Cut spareribs or Pig's belly or beef of meats into bitten size then with sugar papper some rice wine and soy sauce for 30 minutes. 2/ Then mix it with rice powder covering the meats. 3/ Place the meats in a steamer and steam for 40 minutes. *To be able to put some sweet potatoes or potatoes or taro....etc at a plate of bottom with meats to gather that will be a delicious dish."

Love it!

[fitz]

Indeed. I remember seeing Roast Baby on a menu quite a few years back (fairly sure it was a place in the Rutherford, NJ area). As it turned out, it was duckling, but the image has always stayed with me.

For more fun of this kind, by all means visit engrish.com, which posts photographs in only the best-spirited way... (they welcome your submissions, too!).

[Gary Soup]

evidently, my lack of use of emoticons has led forum leader to believe i somehow took offense at his comment.

let me elaborate:

when i bother to spell out things like hrmpf and use words like brethen i tend to be joking/satirical/etc.

Stick by your guns. I think the thread is belittling and pointless.

But I have to add that I know an American greasy spoon restaurant that features "bowel of oatmeal" on the breakfast menu.

My late Uncle Walter was wont to say "Many people can paint signs, and many people can spell, but few can do both."

[Bux]

I remember being asked by a fishmonger on Grand and Chrystie Streets in NY, if he had spelled "eel" correctly on his sign. Had he not asked, I probably wouldn't have noticed that it was "ELL." A lot of the hand lettered English language signs in markets in Chinatown are less than accurate. Nevertheless, as life long resident of this city with its many immigrant populations, misspelled hand lettered signs are daily occurrences. My favorite will continue to be one I used to see over thirty years ago on West Fourteenth Street when I lived in the West Village. It was a breakfast special that offered eggs with two stripes of bacon. I may have never stopped to think it wasn't intentional had it not been accompanied by "steak and oinoins" elsewhere on the sign.

[maukitten]

Funny how Bux and I had almost the same experience, though half-way across the world. My mum and I were in Bali at a touristy buffet lunch in Kintamani when we chanced upon an empty tray with the mysterious label "FRIED ELL". We stood there wondering what Balinese delicacy "ells" were when to our utmost horror, an entire tray of deep fried eels were dumped onto the table right before us. It was horrific because the eels were deep fried whole, and with their heads intact, and frankly looked like a bunch of tangled snakes in a state of rigor mortis.

I used to work in a building in Kuala Lumpur which had a little restaurant on the top floor which had a particularly tantalising item on its menu - "Tits bits".

And just the other day, I noticed that a packet of curry spice mix that I bought instructed me to "fry till smelly".

What a glorious language English is! :-)

[Squeat Mungry]

Stick by your guns.  I think the thread is belittling and pointless.

Pointless? Perhaps, but fun, and I don't think it's necessarily belittling, if you mean especially to those who speak English as a second language. Many native speakers of English can't spell, or substitute homonyms in there righting.

A friend of mine told me of his favorite sign on a restaurant, offered without punctuation:

"Shrimp and Lobster

Dancing Nightly"

Cheers,

Squeat

[Schneier]

"Buy a hamburger and roll downstairs"

[browniebaker]

evidently, my lack of use of emoticons has led forum leader to believe i somehow took offense at his comment.

let me elaborate:

when i bother to spell out things like hrmpf and use words like brethen i tend to be joking/satirical/etc.

Stick by your guns. I think the thread is belittling and pointless.

Agree. Another trivial thread. No emoticon for me, thanks.

[eatingwitheddie]

A local (Brooklyn/4th Ave) Chinese take-out joint oriented towards a particular market segment features halal meats and of course no pork. They named themselves: No Pork Long Life Restaurant. A competitior opened and chose an amusingiy similar but different name: No Pork Long Line Restaurant!

[tryska]

A friend of mine told me of his favorite sign on a restaurant, offered without punctuation:

"Shrimp and Lobster

Dancing Nightly"

*lol* reminds me of a sign that used to tickle me every time i passed it when i first moved to Atlanta:

Now Hiring Meat

and 2 Veg - 4.99

i couldn't figure out if that was by the hour or by the piece.

[Busboy]

evidently, my lack of use of emoticons has led forum leader to believe i somehow took offense at his comment.

let me elaborate:

when i bother to spell out things like hrmpf and use words like brethen i tend to be joking/satirical/etc.

Stick by your guns. I think the thread is belittling and pointless.

But I have to add that I know an American greasy spoon restaurant that features "bowel of oatmeal" on the breakfast menu.

My late Uncle Walter was wont to say "Many people can paint signs, and many people can spell, but few can do both."

Supposedly the The Palm restaurant, which offers a lot of traditional Italian in addition to the steaks, was originally to be called "Parma" restaurant, but the sign-painters screwed up. The owners, not having enough money for a new sign, stuck with the name.

Edited November 20, 2003 by Busboy (log)

[sherribabee]

Is there a central organization that determines menu nomenclature for all Chinese-American restaurants? It's uncanny how the most unusual malaprops manage to multiply and prosper.

I hope I'm on topic with this, but my all-time favorite is the commentary on the old red paper chopstick package:

Welcome to Chinese Restaurant. Please try your Nice Chinese Food With Chopsticks the traditional and typical of Chinese glonous history and cultual

The chopstick wrappers were the first things I though of when I saw this thread.

[sherribabee]

I have tons of photos of various signs with humorous errors I've passed during my travels. Some of my favorites are handpainted roadside signs from my driving trip through Mississippi and Alabama. I'll have to go home and count how many 'peecan' signs I have photos of.

[jo-mel]

Some of my packages of dried noodles have translations that are charming. Not funny -- simply charming. (I wish I could translate as well as they do)

On a packet of "Instant Sizzling Rice":

1- Prepare soup stock with your favorite ingredients boil & set aside. 2- Bring 3-4 cups of cooking oil to a boil. Deep fry the "sizzling rice" pellets to a golden brown withdrawn & quickly add to soup stock you will hear the sizzle & enjoy the flavor.

(BTW, I can make them from scratch, but I also buy them ready-made. I'm lazy)

The amusement in language works both ways. In Beijing, I was copying the characters on a building, for later translation. A crown gathered and was watching me ---but they were laughing. I asked why? It seems I was writing from the wrong direction!!! Those characters were from right to left, as it was in that time, when the buildings were erected, and I was writing left to right. We all had a good laugh, and I cherish the incident.

[Ruth]

Large sign on a stall in an old style Singapore food court - "Pig's spare parts"

[herbacidal]

Large sign on a stall in an old style Singapore food court - "Pig's spare parts"

hey, that works fine.

spare parts---anything people wouldn't normally eat. all the more for us abnormals.