Fast Food

[hollywood]

McDonald's, BK (your chance to weigh in on Bayless and Ray), KFC, Wendy's, Carl's, Fatburger, Taco Bell, Del Taco, In N Out, Tommy's, Koo Koo Roo, Whataburger, Chipotle, Domino's, Pizza Hut, etc. What say you?

[Suzanne F]

Too awful to contemplate, eh?

[hollywood]

Too awful to contemplate, eh?

No guts, no glory.

[Mister_Cutlets]

Occasionally, because of my advanced age and heroic commitment to eating high-powered meals, people suppose that Mr. Cutlets is no friend to fast food. Nothing could be further from the truth! I would like someday to found an international fast foods movement, as a kind of counterpart to the slow foods movement. Limiting myself to franchises, I would give the Cutlets seal of approval to (in no particular order):

1. Steak and Shake. Really the best of the burger chains, for my money. For somebody like me, that values surface-to-meat ratios above all else, their deliciously fresh, flat, crispy and vivid burgers, served on toasted buns with just a little pickle and nothing else, are as good as you can ask for.

2. White Castle -- what is there to say? For lightness and succulence, for concentrated burger power, there's nothing else to compare. I usually order three white castles, a cheeseburger, a double-cheeseburger, and a couple of double White Castles to go in my pockets. Ahh..... I just wrote a stillborn Talk of the Town Piece about going there with Handsome Dick Manitoba of the Dicatators. I'm sure some intern from Sarah Lawrence will read it and delete it. Any suggestions for a home for this fine piece would be appreciated.

3. Burger King. The best of the big franchises. The basic hamburgers had a stretch, from about 1997 to 2001, when they were the best bargain in fast food. Now they've shrunk, but the double-bacon-cheeseburger still puts a hop in my step. And a plain whopper with cheese remains one of the most comforting foods of my infancy, adolescence, and senescence. Burger King is so much better than the other chains that I can't imagine how they stay in business; and the fries are better, too. The original chicken sandwich is immense, crispy, dead-on juicy, and stays good for hours. (You have to get it without the horrible shredded lettuce, though.)

4. The Colonel (KFC). The once and future fried chicken franchise. The potato wedges are, along with Arby's potato cakes, the best fast-food side order; and the chicken speaks for itself. The only drawback was the expense; but now the Colonel is offering eight pieces of dark meat for 5.99, and I don't see how I can keep away. The only caveat with the Colonel is that, particularly with the Original Recipe, you can't eat it hot. This chicken is only good when the juices have settled, so try to go at an off-hour.

Cutlets Anathemas to

1. Taco Bell -- hideous. The same four vile ingredients, combined in infinitely horrible ways. Exclude me out.

2. Wendy's. Wendy's indifference even to the most basic elements of burger preparation is a disgrace. They serve the triple with only a single slice of cheese! And of course their gray, greasy patties combine with rancid mayonnaise and unmelted cheese in the queasiest of ways. Forgettaboutit!

3. Arby's. Arby's roast beef is a mystery. What the hell does it taste like? Why does it have an irredescent sheen? And what animal does it come from? I like the potato cakes, but this roast beef is strictly from hunger.

Mixed feelings:

1. Nathan's. The best hot dog going, but always served on a cold bun, and the prices are ridiculous.

2. Hardees. Too much of a good thing -- but sometimes nothing else will do. The new "thickburgers" are hard to resist, even if I am against them ideologically.

3. Roy Rogers. Has been declining since my youth.

4. Bob's Big Boy. Love the sign, hate the food. Coasting on its brand.

[hollywood]

Burger King.  The best of the big franchises.

Do you know Rick Bayless?

[Mister_Cutlets]

No...it's all about the coin, though. I don't blame

him for making those commercials one bit. Food

cred doesn't pay the orthodontist's bills.

Mr. C.

[hollywood]

Food cred doesn't pay the orthodontist's bills.

So what is it about orthodontists? Do they eat raw meat? Are they the wealthiest folks alive?

[picaman]

I just wrote a stillborn Talk of the Town Piece about going there with Handsome Dick Manitoba of the Dicatators.

Off topic, but his bar has the best jukebox in NYC.

Jamie