mouse in the oven.

[elyse]

Now, that's gross.

I would either get it into a paper bag and wack it against a step or something, or paper bag and into the freezer. Sounds weird, but I heard it was pretty humane, and just went to sleep. No chloroform in my pantry.

The mouse would just go to sleep, not me.

AND, that's if I found it in a trap, or it was dying from poison. If I could catch a healthy one, I go to the park with it, and release it there.

Edited November 2, 2003 by elyse (log)

[fifi]

--and untroubled by the disturbing crunch. It doesn't come that easily to me.

Me either. I don't think I could do that. And, I have done some pretty gross things in the name of biological research. I like the chloroform route, nice and peaceful, but I don't know if you can even buy that anymore. I used to get it from the druggist.

[hollywood]

I suggest throwing a cheese tasting and sending the mouse an RSVP.  Get him drunk with some good port, and let him drive home.

Right. And play UB 40 doing Rat in the Kitchen really loudly.

[bourdain]

I don't know if I like the bash-the-bag plan. Too much possibility of tragicomic mishap (bag ruptures--spraying mouse brains and fur in every direction--not to mention the "only winged him" factor--in which the mouse, bleeding heavily from the head, runs straight into the house..or simply goes airborne.

I'm thinking FLUSH. Drowning has good word-of-mouth as preferred means of death.

Edited November 2, 2003 by bourdain (log)

[tommy]

my father caught a mouse under an upside-down bucket once. he tried dragging the bucket from the garage to outside to let the little fella go. i think you all can guess what happened to the mouse.

[VivreManger]

One year we let our house to a lovely lady from Sardinia who dutifully did feed the mice accumulating in our absence.

In the pantry there happened to be a plastic gallon of corn oil which the mice had started to gnaw through. She noticed the leaking corn oil, but not the gnawing mice and their turds. Her ingenious solution to the holy jug was to put a plate under it so the oil would not harm the pantry shelf. The plate of oil quickly overflowed. By the time we finally returned, I had to spend days removing mouse turds soaking in corn oil crud. The season changed. The mice moved on. But they and the lady from Sardinia left a lovely gift behind.

[Squeat Mungry]

Our gorgeous, statuesque hostess used to unhesitantly drive her heel down onto them  (ex Norwegian army)without blinking--eager to put the critters out of their misery--and untroubled by the disturbing crunch. It doesn't come that easily to me.

I once accidentally stepped on a mouse -- in my bare feet!

Ick -- talk about disturbing. I don't know how badly I hurt him or her, but he or she scampered into the closet quite quickly!

Squeat

[forever_young_ca]

Generally I am pro animal rights. However, when it comes to rats and mice in the house, I draw the line. Having had the problem, the exterminator quickly got rid of the offending creatures with a trap baited with peanut butter.

It seems they cannot resist pb!

[Schneier]

This is such a bizarre thread. I'm just waiting for someone to come up with mouse recipes....

[elyse]

I don't know if I like the bash-the-bag plan. Too much possibility of tragicomic mishap (bag ruptures--spraying mouse brains and fur in  every direction--not to mention the "only winged him" factor--in which the mouse, bleeding heavily from the head, runs straight into the house..or simply goes airborne.

I'm thinking FLUSH. Drowning has good word-of-mouth as preferred means of death.

Yeah, you have to make sure it's one of the tough ones without the flipity bottom flaps. It's not a solution for the meek. Drowning is faster than poison, but a good wack when done properly is the best solution.

I would definitely freak if the bag split and it flung into my hair. I'd have to be hospitalized.

[hollywood]

Wasn't there a Kliban thing to the effect of...

Love to eat those mousies

Mousies what I love to eat

Bite their little heads off

And eat their little feet.

[elyse]

my father caught a mouse under an upside-down bucket once.  he tried dragging the bucket from the garage to outside to let the little fella go.  i think you all can guess what happened to the mouse.

[Schneier]

Yeah, you have to make sure it's one of the tough ones without the flipity bottom flaps.  It's not a solution for the meek.  Drowning is faster than poison, but a good wack when done properly is the best solution. 

I would definitely freak if the bag split and it flung into my hair.  I'd have to be hospitalized.

I asked my cats. One shakes the mouse until its neck breaks. The other holds the mouse's head in her mouth until it suffocates.

Just trying to help....

[elyse]

Both excellent solutions. Who's going to try them?

[beans]

In an old apartment, beans the cat, was romping and making all of this noise early one morning. I shouted at him and threw a pillow in his direction for some peace until the alarm rang in another 45 minutes.

When I got up, I saw some thing on the rug. I focused my sleepy eyes only to see a tail and some feet.

The shake method was applied. Poor mouse, but a very happy cat.

In another place of residence we couldn't get rid of them. The condo association refused to spend the money for an exterminator and I couldn't consider those snap traps. I found the little hole where they were popping in and out and gave them a pet store bought bowl filled with seeds. They never wandered any further because what they wanted was right there in the furthest corner of the kitchen. They were seen only at every early morning hours. Nice weather returned and they moved out, and so did I!

[marie-louise]

Mostly, we have live rats. Brought in through the cat door by the cats, who have no interest in having anything to do with them once they let them go inside. Occasionally we have birds flying through the house; that is also a lot of fun, especially since some our rooms have 16-ft. tall peaked ceilings.

Oh, the stories I could tell about catching these rodents over the years. I could gross ya all out. But I won't.

[EdS]

My ideas:

1. Drop the mouse into a freezer bag. Toss in the fridge. When you find more mice, toss them in this bag too. When you have enough, make some stock.

2. Toss it alive into a FoodSaver bag. Suck the air out of it.

3. Throw the mouse along with some small pieces of tin foil into a microwave. Turn it on and let the sparks fly.

4. Dice some old cheese and drop it and the mouse into a pressure cooker. Close it. Wait about 10 minutes so the mouse has a chance to eat its last meal. Then crank up the pressure cooker!

I think #4 would be the most humane so that's my recommendation.

Come on people, it's just a mouse! Step on it or grab a shovel and whack it!

[KatieLoeb]

Yeah, you have to make sure it's one of the tough ones without the flipity bottom flaps.  It's not a solution for the meek.  Drowning is faster than poison, but a good wack when done properly is the best solution. 

I would definitely freak if the bag split and it flung into my hair.  I'd have to be hospitalized.

I asked my cats. One shakes the mouse until its neck breaks. The other holds the mouse's head in her mouth until it suffocates.

Just trying to help....

My former kitty Sasha was a fierce mouser. She'd bat them around until they were punch drunk. But then they'd stop struggling and trying to run away and they weren't as much fun anymore so she'd bite them in the neck and finish them off.

[tommy]

Come on people, it's just a mouse! Step on it or grab a shovel and whack it!

all of god's creatures have feelings. it's just not right to kill anything in any way that might make it suffer. unless it's a cow and you're driving a piece of metal into it's skull at 1000 mph so i can have a juicy hamburger. even god says that's ok.

[Cusina]

This is pretty entertaining reading, have to say. Bourdain, that hostess sounds like she would make serious cash in the dominatrix business... I'm a bit in awe.

Ollie and Rosie, my lovely young female (and feline) mousers, agreed with the chase em and shake em method, then eviceration if you are looking presentation oos and ahhs. If you are going to go the cat route I'd look for a svelt female less than 5 years old with a healthy ego. I'd offer up Ollie, but I don't think she would make the trip well.

Last week I found a dead little mousie on the brick hearth in the living room. Ollie, my older cat and celebrated neighborhood mouser (one of my neighbors planted catnip for her in thanks for relieving his chipmunk problem) was outside so Rosie, my 5 month old baby, must have done the job. I have never seen a prouder animal. I now know first hand what the cat that ate the "canary" looks like. Made sure to reward her well.

So, babka, what has happened? We need to hear the rest of the saga! Have you negotiated or gone in for the kill?

[Squeat Mungry]

Come on people, it's just a mouse! Step on it or grab a shovel and whack it!

all of god's creatures have feelings. it's just not right to kill anything in any way that might make it suffer. unless it's a cow and you're driving a piece of metal into it's skull at 1000 mph so i can have a juicy hamburger. even god says that's ok.

I thought He said its throat had to be slit by a shochet.

[elyse]

Come on people, it's just a mouse! Step on it or grab a shovel and whack it!

all of god's creatures have feelings. it's just not right to kill anything in any way that might make it suffer. unless it's a cow and you're driving a piece of metal into it's skull at 1000 mph so i can have a juicy hamburger. even god says that's ok.

[babka]

I relocated for the afternoon to let the mouse have its sabbath while I had mine.

I sat outdoors at a Greek deli where, while reading the paper, I watched two 8-year-old boys claim the table beside me while clutching one ice-cream cone, one 7-11 slurpee, one plastic sack filled with 7-11 candy, one large sack of Doritos "Cool Ranch" potato chips, and, leaving the booty on the table for a moment, place an order for a large fries.

Then they ate it.

All of it.

I decided that my stomach could better handle the concept of a mouse in my kitchen, and that my hips could certainly handle a baklava first.

Many thanks for the suggestions and then some. I think I'm going to try the humane trap on top of the stove--haven't had much luck in the past with it, but since I know where the good guest is living, and since he will continue to live after devouring the peanut butter I'll deliver for him, it seems like the best option.

Edited November 2, 2003 by babka (log)

[beeblebrox]

I'm sure the mouse doesn't appreciate that house's occupants and their stove happen to be on a prime nesting spot, and that there is a bourdain mouse advising him to defecate inside the stove to get rid of humans.

Edited November 2, 2003 by beeblebrox (log)

[KateW]

Well shoot, if we're consulting our cats...mine say to go stare at the stove until it comes out, then bat it around for a while until someone or something more competant comes around and kills it for you.