Really bad bartenders

[JAZ]

First of all, don't get me wrong. I like bars -- I like bartenders. Most of them, that is. But sometimes, I have bad bar experiences that I just have to relate.

I was at a place I used to frequent in my old neighborhood -- really nice people but not the most talented bartenders, in general. I generally just order scotch on the rocks, but the owner, who knows I'm a martini drinker, was there. He was on his way out and told the bartender to make me a martini on him. She shook it (not my preference, but not a big deal) and then, unable to find a strainer, she strained it into my glass with her hand. And I'd just seen her playing pool, and I don't really recall her washing her hands. Ewww.

Which made me think back to other bad bartender experiences. I've had bartenders stir cocktails vigorously with their hands over the glass, so that I know my drink has been splashed up onto their hands. I'm not fond of that.

Neither am I crazy about bartenders who reach into bottles of olives or onions with their hands for my garnishes. Yes, I'm sure their hands were clean, but still.

I've had a bartender, upon pouring short for my martini, simply top up my glass with gin, straight from the bottle.

And this is, of course, aside from the bartenders who simply don't know what my drink orders are. ("A gimlet? That's with an onion, right?") I once ordered a perfect Manhattan, and the bartender actually answered, "My drinks are always perfect." I said, "Well, I'm sure they are, but I mean a Manhattan with half dry and half sweet vermouth." His reply? "Well, why didn't you say so?"

And so, I've vented my spleen, as they say. Let me just say that it's not my intention to malign the profession of bartending, so please don't think that's what I'm doing. But come on, I'm sure there are more stories out there.

[trillium]

The hand thing doesn't bother me. I'm sure my food gets touched way more than that and it doesn't have the whole 70% ethanol thing in its favor for "cooties". I think it's safe to say there are more really bad bartenders than good ones, so I tend to forget the really bad ones. I think one of the more recent bad experiences I've had was when I asked the barkeep if they used fresh lemon juice, got the affirmative, and then ordered a tom collins (it was really hot out) and watched them make it with a sour mix. Ugh. Oh wait, then there was the guy, who when I ordered a Maker's Manhattan with extra bitters (my standard dive bar drink, if they look really bad, I ask for it on the rocks) made me a Manhattan with maraschino cherry syrup in it because the bar didn't have a bottle of bitters! Hmm... maybe it's better not to go down this road, if I remember every horrid experience I may never order another drink again.

regards,

trillium

[tryska]

i guess mine would be when i ordered a mojito and got some concotion that involved sour mix, rum and vodka with a little tequila mixed in. to be fair the bartender was a friend of a friend's, and she said they didn't make those there and would fix me up with something similar.

also in her favor, she kept topping me off with more vodka and rum throughout the night. i was drunker than i had been in 10 years by the end of the evening.

[NVNVGirl]

The bartender who kept wiping his nose while he was making drinks. We loved the restaurant, but my husband refused to go there after that experience.

[beans]

First of all, don't get me wrong. I like bars -- I like bartenders. Most of them, that is. But sometimes, I have bad bar experiences that I just have to relate.

I was at a place I used to frequent in my old neighborhood --  really nice people but not the most talented bartenders, in general. I generally just order scotch on the rocks, but the owner, who knows I'm a martini drinker, was there. He was on his way out and told the bartender to make me a martini on him. She shook it (not my preference, but not a big deal) and then, unable to find a strainer, she strained it into my glass with her hand. And I'd just seen her playing pool, and I don't really recall her washing her hands. Ewww.

Which made me think back to other bad bartender experiences. I've had bartenders stir cocktails vigorously with their hands over the glass, so that I know my drink has been splashed up onto their hands. I'm not fond of that.

Neither am I crazy about bartenders who reach into bottles of olives or onions with their hands for my garnishes. Yes, I'm sure their hands were clean, but still.

I've had a bartender, upon pouring short for my martini, simply top up my glass with gin, straight from the bottle.

And this is, of course, aside from the bartenders who simply don't know what my drink orders are. ("A gimlet? That's with an onion,  right?") I once ordered a perfect Manhattan, and the bartender actually answered, "My drinks are always perfect." I said, "Well, I'm sure they are, but I mean a Manhattan with half dry and half sweet vermouth." His reply? "Well, why didn't you say so?"

And so, I've vented my spleen, as they say. Let me just say that it's not my intention to malign the profession of bartending, so please don't think that's what I'm doing. But come on, I'm sure there are more stories out there.

And I don't like chefs that touch their noses (or other things) while preparing my food either!

[beans]

The bartender who kept wiping his nose while he was making drinks. We loved the restaurant, but my husband refused to go there after that experience. 

NVNVGirl!

Same sort of idea posted the same time!

Are there such things as jinxes?

[vengroff]

i guess mine would be when i ordered a mojito and got some concotion...

Bad mojitos could be the basis for an entire thread. There are dozens of ways the ingredients can be out of balance, resulting in an undrinkable greenish sludge.

[tryska]

i know. the recipe is deceptively simple, but can spin horribly out of control.

[sherribabee]

And this is, of course, aside from the bartenders who simply don't know what my drink orders are. ("A gimlet? That's with an onion,  right?")

I'm absolutely shocked at the number of bartenders who seem to have never heard of a Gimlet. It's certainly not a new drink.

I had a bartender once refill my old glass, which had a bunch of melted ice and lime pulp in the bottom of it. That was lovely. Just last night I ordered a drink and asked the bartender to add a splash of cranberry. She handed me my perfectly clear drink and and when I handed it back to her asking again for the cranberry, she huffed at me and said she did add it. I watched her make the drink. She didn't add it. And um....hello...the drink is perfectly clear. So I asked her to please add some "more" and she dumped out half my drink and filled it with cranberry. I then thanked her and made some comment about how they should really consider advertising their complimentary mystery drinks and walked away from the bar.

[Ol' Dirty Chinaman]

I've been the recipient of the serving with fingers in the glass too, even though alcohol kills everything, its still not really appetizing, and you second-guess how good of a bartender they are.

I've seen my friend order a martini and the bartender poured the gin into the martini glass, and then when he realized his mistake poured the glass down the sink.

My favourite bartender story is my friend who had a bartab going for these guys, and named it 'assholes' (since, they were being, well, assholes) ... he was new and he didn't know that specific POS system printed out the name as well as the bill ... hilarity ensued

Oh, I've also seen bartenders not empty their ice tray after a glass breaks .... after I ordered a drink I bit my lip and talked to the manager, got free drinks all night

Edited October 3, 2003 by Ol' Dirty Chinaman (log)

[beans]

I've seen my friend order a martini and the bartender poured the gin into the martini glass, and then when he realized his mistake poured the glass down the sink.

You mean warm, straight Gin? Or that they used Gin? And where else are they to pour mistakes? Back into the bottle?

[beans]

So, question for the masses on this: Is the person behind the bar to read minds on how you like yours prepared and no one has the hootspa to instuct politely how to make the drink to your best preference? There is much room for style, wit, charm and fun in doing this! (general friendly, cordial mannerisms of accepted, polite social interaction and effective communication between individuals) Or is that simply too much effort to exude in obtaining some personally measurable pleasure in the level of service towit you are in receipt?

Janet: Did you tell the bartender you didn't appreciate he/she using their bare hand to help the straining process of that Martini, gratis or not? Did you tell him/her to shake gently or swirl so as to stir the cocktail instead of the vigorous shaking? Or quickly ascertaining the next possible scenario, given this barkeep lacked the proper equipment, state '____________ Gin on the rocks, with 3 olives, would be as delightful instead'? Did you mention it to the manager that perhaps they need to outfit their staff with appropriate barwares so as to avoid that observed, vile, bad habit? Or did you remain silent, quietly with smoldering distain and post a ranting gripe on a large, public forum?

If that person is a newbie to the trade (most learn on the job) is there some sort of bonus points system deduction that all of you have for that person not knowing what you think is a cocktail that is certainly not new, but isn't ordered with any regularity? So where is the issue? What's so awful by smiling and stating howthe drink is made showing that person a new trick to put up their sleeve while making you, the customer, pleased with the results? Interaction isn't fun?

Or are complaints more fun, sour grapes and all!

Even if this bartender isn't a newbie, certainly don't walk in with expectations that they certainly *know* how to make any type of cocktail that has ever been poured in the history of this planet. The demand for education in an effort to ensure a consistent base knowledge on how to make a Jasmine, a Side Car or a Rusty Nail, whatever/etc. just does not exist. And the few schools that pump out little, hopeful graduates with their flimsy paper certificate of completion are laughed out of 90% of the establishments they venture to make application. Newsflash: Education is *not* a public service of imparting some elusive, deeper or greater knowledge. It is in place to profit. Tuition paid = services rendered. Bartending academies really like that revenue thing too.

Trust me, even the time of day and the day of the week that they are behind the bar speaks volumes about their worth. (The Monday afternoon opener is usually not the same person manning the helm on a busy, money making weekend night; unless they really screwed up and are doing penance with management or all rotate the sucky shifts for a lack of hiring that very special person to work a shift that is commensurate with their command and grasp of the art of constructing refreshing, quality cocktails.)

Just a few random thoughts!

Edited October 3, 2003 by beans (log)

[tommy]

i can't wait for the *great* bartenders thread.

Edited October 3, 2003 by tommy (log)

[Rapping Bartender]

Hey Bean you've got a point but THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT !!!

[mrbigjas]

i can't wait for the *great* bartenders thread. 

There was a guy named Pat here in Philadelphia at a place called the Odeon, which was down on 12th St. It was where I learned how to drink martinis, and drank quite a few. He was an artist--he eventually quit bartending to do art for a living, but damn he made a great martini. I've had hundreds since then, but none have lived up to his.

(And yes, I realize it's mainly sentiment that makes me feel this way, but indulge me for a second here, because he really did make a great drink)

[tommy]

in fact, i thing blondie started a "Great bartenders" thread a while ago. i'll find it.

(damn, i thought for a moment that it was *my* idea!)

[Blondie]

in fact, i thing blondie started a "Great bartenders" thread a while ago.  i'll find it.

(damn, i thought for a moment that it was *my* idea!)

Actually I was talking about starting a "Great Bartenders" thread and then never did. By all means, go ahead

[tommy]

in fact, i thing blondie started a "Great bartenders" thread a while ago.  i'll find it.

(damn, i thought for a moment that it was *my* idea!)

Actually I was talking about starting a "Great Bartenders" thread and then never did. By all means, go ahead

ah fuck off. i thought for sure you did.

[beans]

Hey Bean you've got a point but THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT !!!

Did I say anything to the contrary? Of course they are! Elsewise I would have never stated the customer is the sole reason the bartender has a job (in another post), the restaurant/bar is open and etc., etc. Or that I'd never dare to correct one of my old and generous regulars that he isn't drinking a true Gimlet, but a vodka-bastardized version? (Another old post, remember Matthew?!)

So what's wrong with instead of the customer steaming with hate for the cocktail preparation, piping up with a pleasant exchange on preferences for that barkeep to follow? No harm done!

Do you not send back your food if it isn't to your specifications? Hmmmmmmmm.

[Blondie]

in fact, i thing blondie started a "Great bartenders" thread a while ago.  i'll find it.

(damn, i thought for a moment that it was *my* idea!)

Actually I was talking about starting a "Great Bartenders" thread and then never did. By all means, go ahead

ah fuck off. i thought for sure you did.

For a minute I thought I did too, but I was all talk, no posting

[tommy]

For a minute I thought I did too, but I was all talk, no posting

i have the exact opposite problem.

[beans]

in fact, i thing blondie started a "Great bartenders" thread a while ago.  i'll find it.

(damn, i thought for a moment that it was *my* idea!)

Might be a short list tommy! First being the fabulous Dale DeGroff.

Aw, bartenders are easy to hate. Perceptions become skewed with the absorption and metabolic rates; and when an individual seeks out the comforts of a pub, they *may* not always be in the best of moods; or even be in such a good mood they get carried away!

I think it is ridiculous, but I know those that abhore a particular bartender because they placed two stir stix, instead of one, into their cocktail. (I'm not kidding either!) Or because "Rodney's" olive was not at the bottom of his ice and was errantly placed atop his vodka on the rocks. Meh.

[tommy]

Aw, bartenders are easy to hate.  Perceptions become skewed with the absorption and metabolic rates; and when an individual seeks out the comforts of a pub, they *may* not always be in the best of moods; or even be in such a good mood they get carried away!

beans, where i come from, bartenders are even more easy to *love*. i've made some good friends over the years, many of whom are still my friends, even after their bartending days. just as restaurants are easy to hate, and people are easy to hate, i'm more interested in those that matter. and when they matter, well, they tend to change your life, or at least have a positive impact.

i can't imagine how much i'd have to pay a psychologist for the work my buds have done.

Edited October 3, 2003 by tommy (log)

[beans]

Word.

I think I may have some friends that fit that too!

[tommy]

  Word. 

I think I may have some friends that fit that too!

let them be the judge of that.