Worst coffee in the world

[snowangel]

It would have been at The Cabin. I arrived with four kids in tow, and inadvertently forgot the coffee (I did remember wine and vodka and whisky). There were two many year old packets of one-pot pre-ground hazelnut coffee packets laying around. I had to drink the alcohol to get rid of the lack-of-caffine-headaches.

I really hate flavored coffee. It's far worse when it's really old.

Lack of good coffee drove me across the lake to a phone (something I really hate to do) and get my husband up to said cabin a day early so I could have coffee. That's love.

[laurenmilan]

You would kill for a Starbuck's if you had to drink what's called coffee in the midwest. I found the same thing in Florida. Now that I think about it, most regular restaurants serve bad coffee, even here in coffee capital, Seattle. And even when they advertise fresh ground, it's been so watered down, it still tastes like Folgers.

You know, I've noticed that too. Why is it that only people on the coasts know the proper strength of coffee?

[BJL]

In my own house. I spent $200 on a capresso machine that grinds the beans first and then makes the coffee. It is terrible. No matter what brand of coffee I chose, from some great places in NYC, it is always awful. Not enough makes it into the filter and the coffee is very weak, if you set for more coffee and less water - you get a mouthful of chewy grinds. Very disappointing.

[monkeymay]

Coffee Mormon style - lotta milk, lotta sugar, no caffeine

[phaelon56]

In my own house. I spent $200 on a capresso machine that grinds the beans first and then makes the coffee. It is terrible. No matter what brand of coffee I chose, from some great places in NYC, it is always awful. Not enough makes it into the filter and the coffee is very weak, if you set for more coffee and less water - you get a mouthful of chewy grinds. Very disappointing.

Is it using a gold mesh style filter? If so, you might try a paper filter in its place and leave it for a finer grind setting. The grinders on such machiens do not create the consistent particle size that you tend to get on a higher end burr grinder (in which case the grinder alone typically costs as much or more than your Capresso).

Using a finer grind setting and a paper filter will likely get much better results unless you have an issue with the unit not gettign the water hot enough, in wihich case there is little that you can do. You might also want to check the

Coffegeek Discussion Forums consumer reviews

Plenty of Capresso reviews from individuals - some are very detailed and you may get the answers you seek there if a filter change doesn't help.

[sequim]

You would kill for a Starbuck's if you had to drink what's called coffee in the midwest.  I found the same thing in Florida. Now that I think about it, most regular restaurants serve bad coffee, even here in coffee capital, Seattle. And even when they advertise fresh ground, it's been so watered down, it still tastes like Folgers.

You know, I've noticed that too. Why is it that only people on the coasts know the proper strength of coffee?

Except that Florida is an anomoly because of all the mid-westerners who moved down there and corrupted the quality of the coffee!

[Mizzy]

I work at a homeless shelter, where the residents will literally drink 10 cups of coffee a day. The volunteers always try to spice things up by donating cans of Safeway brand rasberry or hazlenut flavored coffee. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever had.

[laurenmilan]

Except that Florida is an anomoly because of all the mid-westerners who moved down there and corrupted the quality of the coffee!

But Florida has Cuban coffee, which is the most sublime coffee on the planet (well I think so) so it all evens out, don't it?

[beans]

Shee Atika Lodge, Sitka, Alaska.

Consistently filled with soap.

[phaelon56]

Except that Florida is an anomoly because of all the mid-westerners who moved down there and corrupted the quality of the coffee!

But Florida has Cuban coffee, which is the most sublime coffee on the planet (well I think so) so it all evens out, don't it?

Oh yeah.... cafe con leche or cafe cubano. That's all I drink when in Florida - it's good almost everywhere, great in some places and best of all..... cheap!

[purplewiz]

Almost 20 years ago, I used to work for a large computer software/hardware company, which will not be named since it was a long time ago. Since they knew that programmers run on caffeine, they did their best to provide us with a steady supply of coffee, but being cheap SOBs, how they did it meant they provided us with the absolute worst sludge I've ever experienced.

About 6 am every day, they would start boiling huge vats of coffee. (Yes, I do mean boiling.) When it was good and ready, about 8 am, they would fill up smaller metal dispensers, each holding about 5 gallons or so, and place them around at "coffee stations" throughout the campus. This coffee would then sit there all morning, until the dispensers were collected about 11:30 am.

The dispensers would be refilled and set out again for the afternoon coffee rush, starting at about 1:00 pm. What were they filled with? The rest of the batch of "coffee" that they had started boiling at 6am, and which had been simmering ever since.

The first distribution was awful. The second was beyond words. People cut the stuff with powdered hot cocoa mix about 50/50 to be able to swallow it. Yet we did drink it - we were programmers and it was free coffee.

Marcia.

[sml311]

Anything with the words "instant" or "crystals" associated with it has to be the worst! They're only acceptable when I'm about to sever my head from a caffine headache.

As far as Nescafe, it's big in the Arab world. I had Palestinian and Egyptian friends bring it back to the states (along with Jordanian dates--but that's another post ) every time they visited. They only liked whatever's sold over there. Not what's sold in Europe or South America.

SML

[Janedujour]

One of our neighbors told us the BEST worst coffee story:

We live in the woods in CT and one day quite a few years ago our pal took a long walk into an area that a lot of older, fairly poor people live. He wanted to be a good neighbor to an older couple he had just met, so when invited in, they asked if he'd like a cup of coffee, he said "sure".

He watched as the man removed two hot dogs from a steaming pot on the stove and began to pour the hot dog water in a cup that contained a spoonful of instant coffee!!

He somehow got out of there politely without tasting the coffee, and also without throwing up!

[chromedome]

I dunno about Starbucks...I'm no fan, but they're not the worst. Just expensive and mediocre.

Here in Canada, the dominant chain is not Starbucks but Tim Horton's...yeah, the doughnut shop named after the dead hockey player (I remember watching him play. Suddenly I feel old...).

Heretical though it is for anyone from the East Coast to say, I truly detest the coffee at Tim's. If we opt to focus on fresh-brewed/not held too long/not overcooked/"yes ma'am this is how it's supposed to taste" awfulness, that's Tim's IMHO.

[Lisa J]

Nescafe is an international tradegy. One of my worst coffee experiences (and there have been many - I live in fear of withdrawal symptoms without my morning cuppa) was at a French-owned cafe in Hanoi, Vietnam. I was jet-lagged and confused and it was the first place I encountered when I stepped onto the streets. Nescafe was spooned and served. When I came to my senses, I found the nearest local cafe and happily settled in with a Vietnamese coffee - iced with condensed milk.

This is probably obvious, but when traveling, I find that I have to go out of my to learn how to ask for the local coffee beverage. All too often I have been in places where it is assumed that as an American I want Nescafe. There must be some general understanding that Americans prefer wickedly bad coffee.

[Kenk]

There is some general understanding that Americans prefer wickedly bad coffee.

But hopefully there is a trend that the cafe Americano will slowly fade into the past.

[wes]

I once made the mistake of ordering a cup of coffee at London's Victoria Station. When I took a sip, I thought they'd made some horrible mistake and given me something else, but the server assured me it was what they knew as coffee. It tasted like they'd brewed up Postum with Marmite--absolutely unrecognizable as being in the same family with any coffee I'd had anywhere else in the world.

Where did you experience truly, memorably terrible coffee?

I actually had that Victoria Station coffee a few weeks ago and you are spot on, it sucks big time. The stuff in a spittoon would have tasted better.

I did have a good cup at Pret a Manger which are all over the place in London but that Victoria Station stuff gave me the heebie jeebies

[rvanrens]

You would kill for a Starbuck's if you had to drink what's called coffee in the midwest.  I found the same thing in Florida. Now that I think about it, most regular restaurants serve bad coffee, even here in coffee capital, Seattle. And even when they advertise fresh ground, it's been so watered down, it still tastes like Folgers.

You know, I've noticed that too. Why is it that only people on the coasts know the proper strength of coffee?

Weak coffee in the Midwest...there's a reason for it, at least "up nort'".

Where I grew up (outside Green Bay, WI), most adults drank coffee all the time. I mean, like four or five pots a day. If the stuff was full strength, you'd probably explode. So you water it WAAYYYY down, and you can drink all you like. Same thing goes for light beer...most of the guys I know who still live there can put away a 12-pack of Old Stale Light and not even feel it. 'Course, they've also had 27 cups of coffee, which helps balance it all out.

Rob

[thursdaynext]

Al's Oasis on I-90... Oacoma, SD

There's a reason it's still 5 cents a cup

[adoxograph]

Superior Coffee is not, and the big chain bookstores should stick to books. Back when Borders cafes used to be able to use local roasters, it may have been inconsistent, but it was often good. Switching to Superior for "consistency" well, needless to say, it wasn't my favorite decision.

Also, don't make coffee with caffeinated water. Painful from the moment of brewing.