Laziest products

[MSRadell]

Oh, good, no one has mentioned the convenience food I happened to find. Today. On April 1st.   

Squeez Bacon.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or swallow that little bit of throw-up that just made it's way up.

Plus it's got a shelf-life of 12 years without refrigeration.

Have you tried ordering any yet?

[faine]

I admit that I use the pre-minced ginger, although my parents are eternally horrified when I break it out. This is because I really suck at mincing ginger. I do have pre-minced garlic, but I only use it when I cook for myself and even then with a profound sense of guilt.

Here in New Orleans, I was totally thrilled to find that Rouses sells pre-chopped gumbo vegetables (onion, green pepper, celery), complete with parsley and garlic. Might be lazy, but those convenience veggies halved my gumbo prep-time and I am eternally grateful.

Pre-cooked bacon tastes like fatty wet cardboard. Avoid it at all costs. Those PB Slices also remind me of something that might be used to torture political prisoners.

My all-time most hated product is that pre-made Loyd's BBQ crapola. The fact that I have been subjected to that junk on multiple occasions at college parties makes me all the sadder.

Amen on the weirdness of pre-made salad dressing. The bottled stuff always tastes gross and is mind-blowingly awful for you. Tossing together a quick and healthy balsamic vinegar or fish-sauce based dressing takes roughly 2 minutes if the ingredients are on hand (and you can even use squeeze garlic if you're an infidel.)

On the whole, I think convenience ingredients are swell for emergencies and should be shunned for Real Serious cooking. And there is simply no excuse for those frozen P B and J sandwiches.

[Katie Meadow]

Once in a while I have used pre-washed salad greens. I'd rather not, but rinsing, drying and tearing up lettuce can be a chore. I like the work of mincing and chopping onions and garlic and celery etc, but prepping lettuce is one task I don't enjoy. I haven't used it in a while, since the farmers' market lettuces are simply too appealing and it's worth the hassle.

I totally get that there are some people for whom pre-cut or pre-chopped stuff is a life-saver if they have any type of disability or it causes outright pain.

My mother was a pretty lousy cook, but she always made a simple salad dressing of vinegar, olive oil and dijon. I do pretty much the same. It wasn't until I left home and went off to college that I realized how many people rely on bottled dressings.

Here's what I consider the absolute silliest lazy product: those little plastic squeezy lemons. They haven't changed since forever. Until a couple of years ago my husband's parents lived in a progressive community where there were shared plantings, including grapes and fruit trees. My father in-law even grew his own little garden and picked olives and cured them. But even a few years ago they still kept one of those lemon things in the fridge. I've considered the possibility that it's the same plastic lemon for the past 25 years, and they don't have the heart to toss it. My husband and his family are all very frugal; they'd rather eat rotten food than throw it away. But I've never asked. Does anyone remember how weird they taste? What were they called?

[blocksnboards]

Personally I liked the minced garlic in the bottle. I also use the minced garlic and ginger mix. I think it tastes just fine.

[Lilija]

Here's what I consider the absolute silliest lazy product: those little plastic squeezy lemons. They haven't changed since forever. Until a couple of years ago my husband's parents lived in a progressive community where there were shared plantings, including grapes and fruit trees. My father in-law even grew his own little garden and picked olives and cured them. But even a few years ago they still kept one of those lemon things in the fridge. I've considered the possibility that it's the same plastic lemon for the past 25 years, and they don't have the heart to toss it. My husband and his family are all very frugal; they'd rather eat rotten food than throw it away. But I've never asked. Does anyone remember how weird they taste? What were they called?

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They're called RealLemon and there's nothing real about em. I ran into one just the other day, at the local convenience store, to add to your tea. It was kind of a flash back, because my mother has one too, and I think she has had the same one for...yeah, 25 years, about since she moved into that house.

[SuzySushi]

Oh, good, no one has mentioned the convenience food I happened to find. Today. On April 1st.   

Squeez Bacon.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or swallow that little bit of throw-up that just made it's way up.

Plus it's got a shelf-life of 12 years without refrigeration.

←

And, according to the website, "Each serving is as healthy as real bacon"...

I dunno... I'm less perturbed by the concept of bacon-in-a-bottle than I am by the 12-year shelf life!

[I_call_the_duck]

Oh, good, no one has mentioned the convenience food I happened to find. Today. On April 1st.   

Squeez Bacon.

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or swallow that little bit of throw-up that just made it's way up.

Plus it's got a shelf-life of 12 years without refrigeration.

←

And, according to the website, "Each serving is as healthy as real bacon"...

I dunno... I'm less perturbed by the concept of bacon-in-a-bottle than I am by the 12-year shelf life!

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OMG. It looks absolutely revolting!! That little video almost made me sick.

[OliverB]

ROFL, that stuff is so bizarre that I'm actually tempted to buy it and put it out on the table at random moments, LOL. I actually own something called bacon salt that's made with no bacon what so ever, I'm pretty sure it's just salt and liquid smoke. It's very strong, almost unusable and I keep it just as a curiosity of sorts.

We should probably start a new thread about the most useless kitchen products and gadgets.

High on the top of my list would be any tool that does just one thing you hardly ever do but take up lots of space, like pineapple slicers, those odd avocado slicers, things like that. And on the ingredient front I'd have to nominate Dave's Insanity Sauce, a hot sauce that probably will burn holes in your counter if you drip it around. I bought it and tasted a tiny tiny drop just to have my mouth explode. I seriously have no idea what you could use this stuff for. And I love hot food, but it should have some kind of taste besides the pain~~~

[MSRadell]

ROFL, that stuff is so bizarre that I'm actually tempted to buy it and put it out on the table at random moments, LOL. I actually own something called bacon salt that's made with no bacon what so ever, I'm pretty sure it's just salt and liquid smoke. It's very strong, almost unusable and I keep it just as a curiosity of sorts.

Actually bacon salt if used in moderation can be a very nice addition to some dishes. It's not that salty and does add a nice flavor. I find that it's especially good on fried potatoes and things like that. Now the bacon mayonnaise that the same company makes may actually be useless.

And by the way, Squeez Bacon doesn't actually exist it was an April fool's joke (just click the order now button and see what happens).

Edited April 9, 2009 by MSRadell (log)

[OliverB]

Oh, bummer, now I really want squeeze bacon! That's the problem with online April's jokes, they don't go away the next day and make little sense anymore.

Oh well, I guess I'll have to go and grind up my own bacon....

Bacon salt, yes, can add a nice smoky taste (as does liquid smoke) but you have to be really careful, if you use it like salt in a recipe the food will be pretty much inedible. Like licking the inside of a smoker that hasn't been cleaned in years~~~ Add a dash of Dave's Insanity sauce for a perfect dish:-)

[SuzySushi]

Oh, bummer, now I really want squeeze bacon! That's the problem with online April's jokes, they don't go away the next day and make little sense anymore.

Oh well, I guess I'll have to go and grind up my own bacon....

Bacon salt, yes, can add a nice smoky taste (as does liquid smoke) but you have to be really careful, if you use it like salt in a recipe the food will be pretty much inedible. Like licking the inside of a smoker that hasn't been cleaned in years~~~ Add a dash of Dave's Insanity sauce for a perfect dish:-)

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But there is Baconnaise -- from the same guys who developed Bacon Salt. It's apparently selling pretty well, too, especially after it was panned on TV!

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/ente...syndication=rss

[CaliPoutine]

Personally I liked the minced garlic in the bottle. I also use the minced garlic and ginger mix. I think it tastes just fine.

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I really like theChristopher Ranchminced garlic( and pureed garlic). I too have arthritis so its easy for me to use. I also like it because its California garlic. The majority of garlic( fresh and in bottles) sold here in Ontario is from China. I brought back a few jars of the CR garlic when I was in Cali last month( I can also find it @ some stores in MI).