Worst Beer Ever Tasted

[BCinBC]

Ha ha, Black Label. I second that emotion. This is the most vile of all beers eminating from Ontario. In residence in first year university, people used to buy it because they were homesick or whatever. Insert joke here. On the last day of classes in absolute desparation, I tried to drink one warm. Made it through 3 sips, then had to dry out... until we got to the beer garden.

A close 2nd is anything you can buy in Blaine (which is just over the border in Wash State) for $8 per flat. Hamms, Pabst, Raineer... They are all the same, which is bad. Cripes, college kids will drink anything.

[peppyre]

I'm not much of a beer drinker, but Kokanee was the worst thing I ever put in my mouth. If I was at a party and that was all there was, I wouldn't drink. It's bat piss in its purest form.

[BCinBC]

Peppyre, you don't say! Kokanee is my favourite of all of our macro-brewed beers, and I do find it refreshing in the locker room after hockey. In fact it is usually the resident beer in our fridge. Even after Labatts bought them out, I think they pretty much kept the operation intact (not that that changes anything for you!).

Well if we have you over, I know to just stick with a couple bottles of Goats do Roam anyway.

[lexy]

Canadian megabrews tend to be bland, inoffensive, and pretty much alike. A poster farther up suggested they seemed to come from the same brewery, and that might not be all that far from the truth. According to a friend who used to work for one of the megabreweries, they both have a very limited range of recipes and a much larger number of brands. Whole families of "lagers" and "light" versions of beers are the same beer watered to the desired alcohol content; others are one base recipe plus some added colour or flavour; and other times it's the same beer under a different label. I realize this is just hearsay, so I won't name names. But I think you'll find blind taste testing of lager-vs-lager and ale-vs-ale will bear this out.

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Hmm, the same-beer-different-label theory explains a lot - I thought I just didn't have a very discerning palate

My vote for worst goes to Colt 45. Even in high school, when we'd drink nearly anything, Colt 45 was seen as a real last choice.

[divalasvegas]

Thanks for reviving this thread. I really needed a few laughs today.

While I really cannot stand a lot of popular brews--Miller, Miller Lite, Bud Lite, Coronas, etc. without a doubt, hands down the absolutely worst is:

Haffenreffer "Private Stock" Malt Liquor.

Apparently this stuff has quite the cult following on the internet as in the following link (quite hilarious, really):

http://www.falstaffbrewing.com/haffenreffer.htm

As this website mentions it also went by various names: aka, Private Stock, P-stock, Heff's, Heffy's, Haffy, Haffen-wrecker, Green Death, Ghetto Torpedo, Green Grenades, Green Lightning, Liquid Crack, Booty Juice, Death in a Bottle, Haffen - Reefer........................

This was my college-girl-helper many moons ago. Back then, it came in a 6 pack of 16 oz. green bottles. And I actually liked it back then. The scary part was, I never got sick off of the stuff as so many upthread have said about their bad beer/malt liquor misadventures. Many years after college, I got an attack of nostalgia when I spotted it in a liquor store. Ah, Haffenreffer, I remember that; why not see if it still has that old Haffenreffer magic? I actually bought a six pack of the stuff, took a swig, and could not bring myself to even swallow it!!! What was I thinking? I don't even think I was able to give that stuff away to anyone.

[jcsaucey]

Molson Canadian. How do Canadians stomach this? Is it all about the marketing? The prizes under the cap? I have been trying to understand the appeal for fifteen years-is there some sort of brainwashing enzime in this goat's piss which renders the hapless victim sated? (not to mention incredibly bloated)

[Syrah]

Foster's=(and I mean no disrespect here) Austrailian for piss.

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I don't think any Australian would disagree. Fosters is for tourists and export. That's it.

Although I am not a beer drinker, my boyfriend once mistakenly bought some wheat beer infused with orange and coriander. He couldn't give it away.

[eje]

I generally stick to a few local Micros I know and like. I'm sure the following will get me in trouble with someone.

Some new-to-me Macro/Micros I've tried lately and disliked include Abita Amber, Dixie Lager, and a Firestone Walker. Didn't care for Abita or Dixie for the price ($7.50 and $7.99 per 6 here). Both were watery and tasted to me like they included a fair amount of variety grains (corn or rice?).

I don't remember which Firestone Walker brew it was; but, that was the worst of the bunch. I don't know if this was an off batch or what. The only way I can think to describe it would be uncooked grain. Bleah. The worst tasting commercial beer I've had in some time. I used it to catch slugs in the garden. I don't think the slugs even liked it that much.

[jfd666]

St. Ides in the 40 oz.  When you get down to the last 10 oz. and its kinda warm and flat.  Each sip is something special.

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Yes. St Ides is the winner. Crazy Horse takes runner up in the worst category. I actually might not drink these.

Old English and Colt 45 are actually some of the better choices when it comes to malt liquor. Mickey's would be my favorite (unless we are allowing Ballantine which, technically, calls itself an ale). Ah, I remember the days when Colt 45 came in a 45oz bottle.

Other drinkable (but bad) malt liquor options:

Private Stock

Big Bear

Country Club

Midnight Dragon (maybe gone by now)

Not worth it:

Hurricane

[jfd666]

Molson Canadian. How do Canadians stomach this? Is it all about the marketing? The prizes under the cap? I have been trying to understand the appeal for fifteen years-is there some sort of brainwashing enzime in this goat's piss which renders the hapless victim sated? (not to mention incredibly bloated)

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That's an export brew. It's different in Canada.

[jfd666]

Foster's=(and I mean no disrespect here) Austrailian for piss.

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I must admit that I love a cold oilcan on a hot summer's day for it's quaffability (and due to the 25oz size, you can quaff for longer.)

The bottles, not so much.

[petite tête de chou]

St. Ides and Olde English are awful, awful, awful! They remind me of my poor-as-a-churchmouse days when I would drink them through a straw while taking a very hot bath. Got me pretty bombed.

[plattetude]

Although I am not a beer drinker, my boyfriend once mistakenly bought some wheat beer infused with orange and coriander. He couldn't give it away.

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'Round these parts, we call that Hoegaarden (or various and sundry other Belgian brews in the witbier style). And it sells pretty darn well.

Christopher

[Syrah]

Although I am not a beer drinker, my boyfriend once mistakenly bought some wheat beer infused with orange and coriander. He couldn't give it away.

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'Round these parts, we call that Hoegaarden (or various and sundry other Belgian brews in the witbier style). And it sells pretty darn well.

Christopher

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It may just be have been the coriander. Even people who were not told, could detect somthing "off" in it.

[stephenc]

Old English is without a doubt, the best tasting malt liquor out there. Smooth mouthfeel with a nice buttery finish.

[jfd666]

Old English is without a doubt, the best tasting malt liquor out there.  Smooth mouthfeel with a nice buttery finish.

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I always attributed that "smooth mouthfeel" to numbness from formaldehyde, not that it isn't welcome.

[TedE]

Haffenreffer "Private Stock" Malt Liquor.

.....

This was my college-girl-helper many moons ago.  Back then, it came in a 6 pack of 16 oz. green bottles.

You must have never enjoyed Private Stock in its most pristine natural habitat, that of the 64 oz. jug, complete with handy thumb loop to ease tippling and prevent end-of-the-jug dropsies.

[divalasvegas]

Haffenreffer "Private Stock" Malt Liquor.

.....

This was my college-girl-helper many moons ago.  Back then, it came in a 6 pack of 16 oz. green bottles.

You must have never enjoyed Private Stock in its most pristine natural habitat, that of the 64 oz. jug, complete with handy thumb loop to ease tippling and prevent end-of-the-jug dropsies.

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Okay, TedE, I know you have to be lying--I'm picturing a "home boy" version of Jethro Clampett knockin' back some urban moonshine--but that is still funny as shit!!!

[TedE]

Haffenreffer "Private Stock" Malt Liquor.

.....

This was my college-girl-helper many moons ago.  Back then, it came in a 6 pack of 16 oz. green bottles.

You must have never enjoyed Private Stock in its most pristine natural habitat, that of the 64 oz. jug, complete with handy thumb loop to ease tippling and prevent end-of-the-jug dropsies.

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Okay, TedE, I know you have to be lying--I'm picturing a "home boy" version of Jethro Clampett knockin' back some urban moonshine--but that is still funny as shit!!!

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Oh, 'tis no joke. Take a gander:

This beast was the jumping off point for many an evening in college. They tended to turn into the early nights. When combined with Cool Colt (as happened one ill-fated night) it was a deadly combination. I don't think I made it past 6:00 that day. But Cool Colt is a whole different, and far more repulsive, story. By far, BAR NONE: Worst. Beer. Ever.

[wkl]

River Horse Lager, brewed in New Hope, Pa. I had this yesterday for the first time and it was AWFUL! It tasted like vomit.

Anyone familiar with this brewery? Did I just get a bad batch?

[divalasvegas]

Haffenreffer "Private Stock" Malt Liquor.

.....

This was my college-girl-helper many moons ago.  Back then, it came in a 6 pack of 16 oz. green bottles.

You must have never enjoyed Private Stock in its most pristine natural habitat, that of the 64 oz. jug, complete with handy thumb loop to ease tippling and prevent end-of-the-jug dropsies.

←

Okay, TedE, I know you have to be lying--I'm picturing a "home boy" version of Jethro Clampett knockin' back some urban moonshine--but that is still funny as shit!!!

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Oh, 'tis no joke. Take a gander:

This beast was the jumping off point for many an evening in college. They tended to turn into the early nights. When combined with Cool Colt (as happened one ill-fated night) it was a deadly combination. I don't think I made it past 6:00 that day. But Cool Colt is a whole different, and far more repulsive, story. By far, BAR NONE: Worst. Beer. Ever.

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Oh no, TedE, I stand corrected. I'm scared to even ask, but WTF is Cool Colt? And combined with Haffenreffer as in Malt Liquor Sangria?

[TedE]

Oh no, TedE,  I stand corrected.  I'm scared to even ask, but WTF is Cool Colt? And combined with Haffenreffer as in Malt Liquor Sangria?

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I thought I had a response for this earlier in the thread, but it must have been another "worst beer ever" one.

Cool Colt was a failed marketing-gimmick-from-hell that I assume was trying to ride the coattails of the menthol cigarette marketing success in some areas. That's right: mentholated malt liquor. Imagine doing a shot of Listermint and following it up with a healthy swig of malt liquor and you've pretty much got it nailed. I only had the pleasure of trying it once (I think it lasted all of a week in the test markets), but that was enough. The contents of that entire 40 (yes, I actually finished the damn thing) will haunt my tastebuds forever. The 64 oz. of Private Stock served as a failed attempt to erase the memory.

[mrbigjas]

Oh no, TedE,  I stand corrected.  I'm scared to even ask, but WTF is Cool Colt? And combined with Haffenreffer as in Malt Liquor Sangria?

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I thought I had a response for this earlier in the thread, but it must have been another "worst beer ever" one.

Cool Colt was a failed marketing-gimmick-from-hell that I assume was trying to ride the coattails of the menthol cigarette marketing success in some areas. That's right: mentholated malt liquor. Imagine doing a shot of Listermint and following it up with a healthy swig of malt liquor and you've pretty much got it nailed. I only had the pleasure of trying it once (I think it lasted all of a week in the test markets), but that was enough. The contents of that entire 40 (yes, I actually finished the damn thing) will haunt my tastebuds forever. The 64 oz. of Private Stock served as a failed attempt to erase the memory.

TedE, were you in philadelphia at the time? we were one of the test markets too. agreed: the nastiest thing ever. nothing else in this thread comes close.

[mrbigjas]

River Horse Lager, brewed in New Hope, Pa. I had this yesterday for the first time and it was AWFUL! It tasted like vomit.

Anyone familiar with this brewery? Did I just get a bad batch?

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i think so. i've had river horse a few times, and while it didn't thrill me enough that i can remember specifically what it was like, it also wasn't bad enough that it stuck in my mind for that reason either.

[Susan in FL]

River Horse Lager, brewed in New Hope, Pa. I had this yesterday for the first time and it was AWFUL! It tasted like vomit.

Anyone familiar with this brewery? Did I just get a bad batch?

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i think so. i've had river horse a few times, and while it didn't thrill me enough that i can remember specifically what it was like, it also wasn't bad enough that it stuck in my mind for that reason either.

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What he said.