Dealing with problems at restaurants

[drrevenue]

BACKGROUND:

Last Saturday evening we went to a restaurant we frequent. The chef is one of the better chefs in our town. He and his wife are "friends" of ours. We have spent considerable money in their two restaurants for years. So far this year over $ 4,000.

We arrived and found that the Chef/owner and Executive Chef were not there. They were doing a 200 person catering event. The waitress and manager said that they had suggested to the owner that he or they call us and suggest that we pick another night, but the chef/owner said no.

To make a long miserable story short--the first dish was good, the second appetizer fair, the third absolutely awful. We asked for the check. The manager said what's wrong. I replied "the food is terrible!" and pointed out the shoe leather, flavorless quail salad . He said "no check". I tipped $ 40.00 (generous even if we had enjoyed a full dinner) and left an open bottle of champagne and an open bottle of very good Alsatian Riesling for the server and Maitre d' to enjoy.

By Wednesday of this week, I still had not heard from my "friend" the Chef/Owner. I sent an eMail saying I was disappointed not to have heard from him about the terrible food on Saturday night.

He replied that he was "disappointed in your reaction Saturday night".

I was angry, disturbed, etc. and sent a return eMail suggesting that I thought I was the customer, etc.

TOPIC:

It is my experience that most restaurants and restaurant owners have a very hard time dealing with honest feedback that is negative. They don't want to hear it. And, they don't recognize the value of a customer. In this case, not only have I spent decent money in this guy's restaurant, I have also brought many people to the restaurant who had "forgotten" it and who then visited more frequently, I have also helped he and his wife with their business planning.

For now, I won't name names, but you can be sure I won't be spending my money or recommending this chefs two restaurants (at the new one I went out of my way to do dinner for 25 the third week it was open to give his staff some experience in their private dining room).

I guess restauranteurs just don't remember the rules of business.

1. The customer is always right.

2. If the customer is wrong--remember rule # 1

The only thing we experienced, concerned, "professional" diners can do is vote with our feet! and tell the world...

Thoughts?

[Fat Guy]

If I held every restaurant strictly accountable for its screwups, I'd have nowhere left to eat. Given your long history of good relations with the restaurant, it seems somewhat tragic for you to walk away based on one misunderstanding. I vote you attempt to work it out.

Incidentally, while "the food is terrible!" may qualify as honest and negative, it may not exactly be what I'd call constructive. You're dealing with human beings who are under stress and can be pushed over the edge. It's not the way the world should be, but it's the way the world is. I also disagree, emphatically, with the principle that the customer is always right -- as do all good businesspeople.

[drrevenue]

Bull shit!!!

If you run your business with the attitude that the "customer is wrong" good luck!!

All this guy had to do is say "sorry" in stead he was "disappointed" in me.

I think you forget that we, the consumer/customer are the ones making the choice to visit a restaurant.

If the owner is not even as smart as an airline where they say "thank you for choosing United , we know you have a choice of airlines", then American business is really in trouble.

If you run your business with the attitude the customer is "wrong"...good luck having a business one of these days...what goes around comes around, sometimes sooner than you think.

DrRevenue

[Jinmyo]

Perhaps it is not so much a matter of the customer being wrong or right but of the restaurateur treating you as an equal in saying he was disappointed. He had left you in what he thought to be capable hands. You left a tip and some open bottles. But you also called the food terrible and were ready to leave rather than speaking with the manager when you began to sense a problem. Perhaps. I wasn't there.

[Fat Guy]

Saying the customer is not always right is not the same as saying the customer is wrong. Right and wrong exist independently of a customer. When a customer is right, a customer is right. When a customer is wrong, a customer is wrong. It's that simple. We've had many discussions touching on this, most recently the thread Bux started:

The customer is always right ..., except when he's an idiot

The bottom line is that you can rail against the injustice all you want but when you spend $4000 in a restaurant in a year it's supposed to mean you like the place enough that the loss of the opportunity to dine there forever is probably going to be harder on you than forgiving one small screwup.

[Basildog]

Fat Guy..these people deserve an apology from the Chef/Owner.The customer is not always right, but in this case they are.

[Steve Plotnicki]

Okay let me be uncharacteristicly sensible. I sense (and this is only a gut instinct on my part) that the chef/owner was reticent about leaving the restaurant under those circumstances in the first place. And your email being so strong in its criticism (and rightly so I might add) has made him defensive about a decision that he might know deep down was a mistake, but is loathe to admit to because your criticism is accusatory. He might be further bothered by the fact that he feels he is entitled to the occassional night off, and doesn't want to feel or hear that he has no personal life outside of working at the restaurant. Or I could name countless other reasons that would cause his reponse to you to be an emotional one and not one based in good business judgement.

So while I agree with you that the cutomer is always right, and the response you got from him should have been more apologetic, along with an offer to make it up to you, I think you should just forget it and bury the hatchet. My instinct is if you are willing to do that, he'll make it up to you somehow. But the way it's now postured, you both lose. Unless you just don't care and you want to blow off steam about it. That's okay too. It's just that the price for that is not going to eat there again. I'm not sure if you will be happy with that result long term.

[Fat Guy]

OF COURSE they deserve an apology, Basil, but so what? You've got to be pragmatic about this sort of thing. A personal strike isn't going to result in the best outcome. The best outcome will be achieved by trying to get past this and, during some moment of politeness and comfort, saying, "Hey, you know I almost never came back here again when you were an asshole to me about that incident? I think you were wrong and I'd still like an apology." Never going back is one way to handle it, but who really benefits?

[Basildog]

The Owner got caught with his pants down..If he can't say sorry, then he deserves all he gets.I leave my place in others hands 1 night a week...Its still my name over the door,I'm still responsible when i,m not there.

[Fat Guy]

I fuck up all the time, and sometimes I refuse to admit it, and on occasion someone cuts me some slack and forgives me even though I don't deserve it. Those people are known as true friends, and I don't forget it.

[Basildog]

So Fat Guy, you think they should spend more money with this guy, in the hope of an apology? The balls in the Owners court..i think its down to him to make the first move and get back on good ground with his customers.

[Fat Guy]

I think they should spend more money with this guy in the hope of a good meal! Anyway it's not like they were charged for the bad one. If they're entirely happy to eat elsewhere, fine. But if it's going to be a setback then I say all you're accomplishing is the whole throwing-out-the-baby-with-the-bathwater / cutting-off-your-nose-to-spite-your-face thing.

[spqr]

Speaking as one of those "Average Joes" out there, here're my two cents:

1. There may be an explanation for the way the chef/owner reacted to the criticism of one of his good customers, but there is no excuse. The chef is clearly, stoopidly, in the wrong here and it's up to him to come to his senses and make amends. Is he running a vanity operation or a business? Does he expect people will forever come, worshipfully, to his place even if the food is terrible? Does he think he is Daniel Boulud or something?

2. Given the facts as outlined, I agree with Fat Guy to the extent that there seems to be a level of kneejerk hurtfulness on both sides that is getting in the way of what was formerly a mutually agreeable relationship.

3. The customer is always right, the customer is always right.

[Marlene]

Actually, I thought the restaurant handled it at the time, with the fact that they did not present him with a check.

If the owner/chef was not a "friend" would he have expected the owner to call him and apologize?

[Beachfan]

Normally, if the check was waived, I would interpret that as addressing the issue on the spot. I'm not sure I would be angry that I didn't receive a phone call or email too, even as a regular customer.

[Bux]

I'd think the diner deserved a little more consideration for his disappointment in what is a service and hospitality industry, but the truth is that I really don't care to discuss anything with anyone who is always right. It's really pointless and I don't understand why anyone who thinks he's always right, wants my opinion.

[drrevenue]

You gulleters are interesting...

The whole point is that we were not nasty, we did talk to the manager, we offered to pay the check, we like the people, we felt like very close friends to the chef/owner and his wife. If I were being nasty I would have named the restaurant.

What some of you don't get is that a business person, in any business, but especially the restaurant business, should value repeat customers who are not only loyal but who also bring in other business through referrals and introducing customers to the restaurant(s).

Communications is difficult--we all know that. But, in my opinion it doesn't matter what the communication style of the customer short of nasty--saying the food was "terrible" is totally honest when it is truly "terrible"...remember I had dined 12 times in this guy's restaurants this year--that is 8 months, 1.5 times per month, spending good $$.

The bottom line in my opinion (and I'm pleased to see some of yours) is that all the chef/owner had to do was call or write (eMail) saying "sorry we did not do a good job, let's talk" or "sorry you were disappointed, I'm disappointed that we disappointed you, come again, you know we can do better". I did not want anything for nothing. Actually, I offered strongly to just pay the check and leave.

The GM and server know us very well. This was not an angry, hostile situation...yes, the word "terrible" is loaded, but there are times when a business has to recognize total failure...we had a fairly large family business manufacturing a product, my father started the business, he handled all the complaints for 31 years, he always said, "it is the complaints you don't hear that hurt you--regardless of how the "problem" hurts handle it and it is like a broken bone it is stronger when it mends than it was before..."

Thanks for your responses. I was interested in seeing how a fairly sophisticated group of "professional diners" would react to this topic.

[Fat Guy]

So what's your game plan?

[Basildog]

My 2 points are

1) when you fuck up you apologise. .. Doesn't matter if there friends, lovers or customers or whatever..its called manners

2)The customer is not always right, but when they are, see point 1

[tommy]

If the owner is not even as smart as an airline where they say "thank you for choosing United , we know you have a choice of airlines", then American business is really in trouble. 

i've never walked off a plane thinking that anyone really meant those words when they said them.

[CathyL]

Well said, Basildog. Customers are not always right: some get drunk and disorderly, some make ridiculous/unreasonable demands, some invent food poisoning in hopes of a few free meals (though I've always wondered why they want to come back if they claim they were poisoned).

Drrevenue definitely deserves an apology. But I don't believe a customer's bad behavior should be overlooked simply because he/she is buying.

[Andy Lynes]

From the way you describe the meal, you bailed out early on, almost as if you were expecting things to go wrong right from the off. One bad dish a wasted night does not make.

I would have thought that under usual circumstances, the first step to have taken would be to complain about the salad and ask for a replacement, and see how things went from there, especially with all that good wine still to drink!

I get the sense that you may have felt slighted by the fact your reservation was treated as being no different from any other customers, i.e. no one warned you in advance that chef would not be in attendance which may have influenced your decision making on the night.

No one on this board has all the facts about the incident except for you, so we are really not in a position to make judgements about who is right and who is wrong. However, if you have been happy to spend the amounts that you have in the past with this chef, it seems a terrible shame to cut yourself off from what is obviously a source of great enjoyment and friendship for you.

I think you need to have the discussion you are playing out here with the chef in question and see where it gets you. Either he will understand your position and things will be better in the future, or he will fail to and then you will know that you can't really go back. At the moment, it appears that the chef feels the restaurant has done enough to redress the situation, and doesn't understand that for you, it goes beyond a tough quail salad and a waived bill.

I'd be interested to know what the final outcome of all this is.

[Fat Guy]

I'm going to move this from Pollstation to General.

[Steve Plotnicki]

Well of course you deserve an apology. But that isn't the issue. The issue is you didn't/aren't going to get one so what do you do now? Do you forgive the chef/owner because he screwed up, or do you let it go and hope he makes it up to you later? What's the upside to burning your bridges other than the satisfaction of the flames? And while there is much value in teaching him a lesson, I'm not sure you are best off with that result. What does teaching him a lesson get you?

I had the following incident at La Palapa in NYC. I had been eating there a lot as I thought it was the best Mexican in the city. So on a Saturday night I made a reservation to have dinner there after the movies. We showed up exactly on time, and as we went up to the reservation stand they were leading a couple from the bar to an empty table. When I gave the guy at the stand my name, he disappeared for a few minutes, went to speak to the women who we later found out is the owner who then got a dire look on her face. He then came back to tell us the wait was going to be 30 minutes. At this I flipped out and told him when I reserved, I was specific in my time request and told the woman on the phone that if they were going to have problems seating us then we would go elsewhere. She said no, it wasn't a problem, especially if we were willing to come a half hour later then my original request which I agreed to.

So it turns out that this guy at the host stand, who admitted to me while I was pressing him extremely hard about what happened to my table, that he gave the table away to the people who we had seen him seat as we walked in. Turns out, "they've been waiting at the bar for an hour and half. Why can't you wait a half an hour?" Well I had a reservation and they didn't. So this bleeding heart host, who turns out to be the owners boyfriend/husband/lover etc., then tells me if I continue to give him a hard time then I'm not going to get a table at all. I then ask for the owner who comes over to us and she is clearly embarassed. But she sticks with Mr. Shithead's hardline because it's her boyfriend etc., what is she going to do, yell at him in front of us? Her nookie comes before my happiness. So we left. And I haven't been back since and it's almost 6 months already. So I understand burning your bridges when you feel screwed. But giving up La Palapa (though my wife has been back recently) is easier than giving up a top restaurant in L.A.

I think you're better off posting the name of the restaurant on the board and continue to go there. That way your means of settling the score doesn't include depriving yourself of something you like. And you know what, I hope 50 people read this and decide not to go to La Palapa because of what I wrote. That's a much better lesson for them than my giving up the chuleta they make that I like so much.

[Suzanne F]

DRREVENUE: perhaps some of the previous posters misunderstood exactly what passed between you, the manager, and the chef. Since all you gave was your highly-condensed version of the conversations and messages exchanged, such misunderstanding is understandable (huh? ), even if not warranted. It's awfully hard to be fair and impartial when one is given only a portion of a single viewpoint. If much of it was via e-mail, you could, if you chose to, display the entire exchange. Then we could start all over again meting out guilt and innocence.

BTW: I fully expect someone or other to jump down my throat for this post; not for what I actually said, but for what they "think" I said based on their biases.