Trying to be brave in Paris .....

[mrsadm]

I'll be in Paris for a week in April and I'm not too brave about venturing into restaurants by myself (except for breakfast alone in a hotel because there are many solo business travelers there and I don't feel so wierd).

I am very intrigued to try this restaurant for the prix fixe lunch. First, is it too late to make a reservation? Will I be treated rudely by the wait staff because I'm a woman dining alone?

From: http://www.foodandwine.com/articles/where-to-go-next-paris

Benoit

Alain Ducasse, the superchef behind Michelin three-star restaurants in Paris, Manhattan and Monte Carlo, is buying up France's most authentic bistros. His latest acquisition is Benoit, <snip>. The $45 prix fixe at lunch is a stunning bargain.

(edited to reduce quote length to conform to egullet rules)

Edited March 7, 2006 by mrsadm (log)

[Portia_Smith]

Hello mrsadm - I can't comment on the restaurant you mention, but I can tell you to put away your fears about dining alone in Paris. I've travelled their solo twice now (once aged 30 and then aged 33) and have never ever been treated with anything less than the utmost respect and courtesy by the restaurant trade - even though my french is pretty shabby and i have no couture clothing! So please don't worry and instead concentrate on the fact that you are in a city where the solo woman diner is not the restaurant nightmare that some less enlightened places think she is!

If you are still feeling nervous - why not try some of the tea rooms and cafe's for a less stressful introduction to dining alone. The tisanes, hot chocolates, patiesseries and viennoiseries at the cafe at the musee jacquemart andree are all fantastic and it's a beautiful space where you won't feel you are sticking out like a sore thumb.

I was also treated really well at this restaurant in the marais back in 2001. I was given a window table - not tucked away in a shitty corner near a door or the bogs. The food was great and it has provided me with great memories of being really contented and happy - despite being by myself..

A girlfriend once told me that being able to eat a meal in a restuarant alone, comfortably is the most important skill a woman could develop!

[John Talbott]

I'll be in Paris for a week in April and I'm not too brave about venturing into restaurants by myself (except for breakfast alone in a hotel because there are many solo business travelers there and I don't feel so wierd). 

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As a male who eats alone much of the time, I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer, but I've only encountered a problem once. I've heard that the starred restos at night resent not having a paying customer at each seat, but as I say, it's not been my experience save for La Maison de Charly, where when my wife Colette tried to simply have some salad and wine while I had the big menu and they refused to take the order.

Benoit is a classy place with classy waiters; I can't imagine such a thing happening there. PS I also think it's over-priced unless you take the extremely limited "menu," as well as full of Americans, but those are other issues.

Finally, if you do a search I'll think you'll find a lot of discussion of this on past threads.

[hathor]

I've had to travel to Paris many times by myself and have never, ever had any problem. Only lovely adventures and memories. I naturally gravitate to smaller bistros and restaurants. There used to be a lovely restaurant near the Place de Victoire, its gone now, or fashionalby renovated, but back then it was a neighborhood place. I was dining alone, and apparently I had a sad face on, I was wishing my husband was there to share the divine grilled sardines, when the older gentleman who wa the owner, came over, touched the inside of my wrist, and asked, "Ca va?" What an intimate and kind gesture, it made my whole day and I still fondly think of him. So, be brave and enjoy every moment!

[bleudauvergne]

I always get very good thinking done when dining alone. I have never gotten even a sidelong glance from anyone. In fact I've always felt like I got better treatment when dining alone. In Paris, you should have no problems whatsoever.

[Margaret Pilgrim]

Will I be treated rudely by the wait staff because I'm a woman dining alone? 

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Let me assume that your wait person will be a man. IMH experience, French men usually fall all over their shoelaces to be gallant to a woman who is alone. Let them know that you appreciate their guidance and that you enjoy being taken care of.

Enjoy yourself. Dining in Paris alone certainly beats not dining in Paris!

[John Talbott]

Here are two threads on the subject: Solo Dining and Dining Alone Sunday.

[mrsadm]

I'll be in Paris for a week in April and I'm not too brave about venturing into restaurants by myself (except for breakfast alone in a hotel because there are many solo business travelers there and I don't feel so wierd). 

←

As a male who eats alone much of the time, I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer, but I've only encountered a problem once. I've heard that the starred restos at night resent not having a paying customer at each seat, but as I say, it's not been my experience save for La Maison de Charly, where when my wife Colette tried to simply have some salad and wine while I had the big menu and they refused to take the order.

Benoit is a classy place with classy waiters; I can't imagine such a thing happening there. PS I also think it's over-priced unless you take the extremely limited "menu," as well as full of Americans, but those are other issues.

Finally, if you do a search I'll think you'll find a lot of discussion of this on past threads.

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Thank you John, but I ALWAYS search the forums - egullet and elsewhere such as bonjourparis - before posting a question. I have read everything I was able to find. It's been my experience that the search engines are not perfect, nor am I perfect at finding all the right keywords. So threads that you may remember may not have been found in my searches.

I do appreciate all the answers here, I feel a little more confident now!

[Champagne Sadie]

Will I be treated rudely by the wait staff because I'm a woman dining alone? 

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Let me assume that your wait person will be a man. IMH experience, French men usually fall all over their shoelaces to be gallant to a woman who is alone. Let them know that you appreciate their guidance and that you enjoy being taken care of.

Enjoy yourself. Dining in Paris alone certainly beats not dining in Paris!

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This is spot on.

I often dine in Paris alone and you actually get singled out for special treatment - of the nice variety.

[LindaK]

Relax, and enjoy yourself! I've done it many times and while each visit to a new place always makes me hesitate a bit, it almost always works out very well.

I've never tried solo dining in a really haute restaurant, but especially in neighborhood places and wine bars, there are always lone diners. In casual neighborhood bistros, I've been offered one of the newspapers that hang about for people like me to peruse while nursing an apperatif and waiting for the first course.

Although I've never tried it, I've read in these threads and others about restaurants with communal tables. That might be an interesting way to go. Maybe others who have tried it can provide some recommendations.

And definitely, if they have time, the male waiters of your own age group will be attentive. Less so than in Italy, where they downright flirted.

[Felice]

Just wanted to add to what everyone has already said. I travelled to Paris alone for my 30th birthday and had an amazing time (so amazing that I moved to Paris the following year). I ate out every night and think I was perhaps given better service than normal. I had never dined alone before really and did feel a bit intimidated at first, but it quickly wore off. I wouldn’t think twice about it if I were you. And I didn’t skimp either, I had an aperitif, three-courses, wine—the works.

The only time I encountered a problem was while making a reservation at Les Bouquinistes for a Saturday night. At first they said no problem, but when I said I was alone they changed their mind and said they could only take me at 22h30, which was disappointing. So, I ended up going elsewhere.

I now sometimes prefer eating out alone. It gives you the chance to really take in your surroundings and concentrate on the experience.

However, if you want some company one night you might want to post in the eGullet thread ISO: France Dining Friends

[Culinista]

Don't be surprised (or offended) if someone tries to get your phone number.

Whenever the old self esteem needs a boost, I dine alone in Paris.

[bleudauvergne]

Don't be surprised (or offended) if someone tries to get your phone number. 

Whenever the old self esteem needs a boost, I dine alone in Paris.

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But Culinista, you're saying that strangers actually approach you and ask for your phone number while you are dining in restaurants in Paris?

[Champagne Sadie]

Don't be surprised (or offended) if someone tries to get your phone number. 

Whenever the old self esteem needs a boost, I dine alone in Paris.

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But Culinista, you're saying that strangers actually approach you and ask for your phone number while you are dining in restaurants in Paris?

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Usually the waiters.

Really.

[Culinista]

Don't be surprised (or offended) if someone tries to get your phone number. 

Whenever the old self esteem needs a boost, I dine alone in Paris.

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But Culinista, you're saying that strangers actually approach you and ask for your phone number while you are dining in restaurants in Paris?

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Usually the waiters.

Really.

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Oh my One evening at la Lorraine, a man from the next table just planted himself at mine for a short chat. Nothing more forward, just the usual tango that makes Paris Paris.

My French girl friends start to feel that something is wrong with them if they aren't chatted up at least 3 times a day

Edit: I remember now that that same night, the waiter left me his phone number with the maitre d'. So I must have been off my game that evening...

Edited March 9, 2006 by Culinista (log)

[pierre45]

Oh my    One evening at la Lorraine, a man from the next table just planted himself at mine for a short chat. Nothing more forward, just the usual tango that makes Paris Paris.

My French girl friends start to feel that something is wrong with them if they aren't chatted up at least 3 times a day 

I dine alone often .including star restaurants.Often ,table allocated has a view of the whole scene and service is better.I always chat with the people next to my table,sharing wine and insights.Actually it has given me many memorable moments.People are relaxed and at their best ,I end up with tons of emails ,which unfortunately i don't use..

[BSK]

Ditto for moi

I just spent three months dining solo in Paris and found only a couple of places that were really truly unwelcoming (Angl Opera springs to mind) - you can always tell when they seat you next to the bathroom even though the place is relatively empty. With the stars and upscale bistros I usually just do lunch since that way I don't feel as if I'm taking up a table for two - especially on Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons which are generally reserved for families. I asked the maitre d'hote at Aux Lyonnais how he feels about a single and he advised me that lunch is usually best and also to try to reserve for early (12ish) or late (2:30ish) and to be willing to take whatever table is available if the restaurant has lots of demand. I had no problem reserving a couple of days ahead at Les Ambassadeurs and Carre des Feuillants and the servers and sommeliers were very gracious (but I tend to drink enough good wine for two so that may be a contributing factor). I usually try to be sensitive to time as well so if I see people waiting for tables I might hurry my meal a bit rather than take my preferred leisurely pace.

Similar to everyone else, I usually wind up having a great conversation with people sitting at nearby tables and have met more than one friend or eating companion that way. In fact, that's how I found out about eGullet - from a couple making strange noises behind me at Le Repaire de Cartouche and when I asked laughingly (without turning around) whether it was the food or the company they said "the food, of course" and invited me to join them in a group tasting). On the other hand, I find waiters hitting on me to be a BIG turnoff - I'm never quite sure whether its me or my tip that's driving the attention and frankly, I don't care.

As far as Benoit is concerned, I tend to agree with John that it is really expensive, touristy and I would add a bit too snobby for my taste.

Bon voyage!

[grace3]

I travel to Paris often..alone. I have dined at some of the top, Guy Savoy, l'Astrance, Les Ambassadeurs, The Bristol and always at Les Violon d'ngres..never had a problem.

Make your reservations and enjoy!!

Joan

[Bu Pun Su]

I travel to Paris often..alone. I have dined at some of the top, Guy Savoy, l'Astrance, Les Ambassadeurs, The Bristol and always at Les Violon d'ngres..never had a problem.

I plan to go to Paris sometimes in April or May. I might eat at Paris by myself for a couple of days before my parents come. From the restaurants that you mentioned above (mostly are Paris' top ones), do they hold one seating per table per night or there are 2 shifts per night?

I have never dined by myself at the high-end restaurant and curious what it's like. Is it awkward? Did you eat there alone for lunch or dinner or both? Do we need to give tips (since I assume the price of the food already included tax and tips)? My french is pretty much ... nothing. Could I still call and reserve using English? I heard at some places you need to be able to speak French when you reserve by phone.

Sorry for too many questions. Any recommendations which restaurant (2 or 3-star michelin) I should try when I eat by myself? I will try just one and eat at the regular bistro or brasserie after that or even fast food .

Thanks

[John Talbott]

A lot of questions, let me try some responses

do they hold one seating per table per night or there are 2 shifts per night?

depends on which one(s), the classic places have one and it's your table for the duration

I have never dined by myself at the high-end restaurant and curious what it's like. Is it awkward?

Take a look at the threads before - most people don't find it awkward

Did you eat there alone for lunch or dinner or both?

I'd say most people on this Forum eat at night, not me, my big meal is at noon

Do we need to give tips (since I assume the price of the food already included tax and tips)?

Only if you get exceptional service or dare I say it, want to go back again, then 5% is fine on top of the 15% that's added

My french is pretty much ... nothing. Could I still call and reserve using English?

Probably, places with stars have at least one person fluent in English, it's pretty easy to say Reservation - X couverts - Y heures. And if you have a friend or concierge call, it'll make it easier.

Sorry for too many questions. Any recommendations which restaurant (2 or 3-star michelin) I should try when I eat by myself?

For this you'll have to dig into the prior threads, everybody has his/her favorite, l'Ambrosie + le Bristol seem to be leading the pack these days but the Meurice + les Ambassadeurs don't seem far behind.

I will try just one and eat at the regular bistro or brasserie after that or even fast food

I urge you to branch out from the stars, especially if you're packing in two meals a day and I know you're joking about fast-food but it's no joke to those of us who hold food sacred.

Have fun and report back please.

[cigalechanta]

I recently was in Paris for 15 days and had a great time as a woman alone. I enjoyed every meal where I ate without an attiitude. My trip report may be here as well as at BJParis.

[Bu Pun Su]

Thanks for the quick reply John

For this you'll have to dig into the prior threads, everybody has his/her favorite, l'Ambrosie + le Bristol seem to be leading the pack these days but the Meurice + les Ambassadeurs don't seem far behind.

Do I need to wear jacket and tie if I ate in the restaurant around that levels you mentioned above? I know it's required for dinner.

Just a few more questions:

Is there such thing as "wine-pairing" for the restaurant in Paris? Is it common to order wine by the glass?

Once I read that, somebody had dinner by opening a half-bottle of red wine and a half-bottle of white wine. I wonder whether we could actually order/open "half-bottle"? Is it going to be a new vintage or a left over one?

Again thanks for the help. I would try explore from low-end to high-end places. Hopefully, my travel would go as plan. Thanks

[grace3]

The starrred restaurants that I mentioned were for dinner. I have been to the Bristol for lunch.

Re wine pairing: At Violon d'Ingres I have had a wine tasting along with the tasting menu. It is a fun thing to do..better take a taxi back to your hotel...I'm sure others do the same. but re by the glass..the answeer is yes.

Re: dress code. You will hear many opinions on the subject. I personally think that a gentleman should wear a coat. A good looking blazer and open collar shirt is fine.

I only mentioned starred restaurants above. I certainly eat at many non-starred restaurants with great pleasure. New ones keep popping up..with great reviews...give them a try.

Enjoy...........

Joan

[grace3]

I missed answering some questions...reservations..at starred restaurants make them early..many have websites that you can use for your reservations. you can also e-mail your hotel and give them a list of where you would like reservations.

Turning Tables..no, no words at starred restaurants. The table is yours for the evening. I have observed someone being lucky when dropping by, hoping for a table, to find that an early diner may have departed and they can give the drop in a table.

[John Talbott]

Do I need to wear jacket and tie if I ate in the restaurant around that levels you mentioned above? I know it's required for dinner.

Well, this is a subject that could go on and on.

30 years ago, every French man wore a tie in any such place and women dressed elegantly as well. Now the men dress like schlubs but the women remain regal. Somehow if you're a French celeb you look OK in a black tee, but I don't think we do.

Unless it's really hot in August and I'm going to a down and dirty bistro, I wear at least a coat (but I'm an old guy remember). I think grace's advice is sound; a tie in the starred hotel places, open shirt in bistros, tees at McDo's.

Once I read that, somebody had dinner by opening a half-bottle of red wine and a half-bottle of white wine. I wonder whether we could actually order/open "half-bottle"? Is it going to be a new vintage or a left over one?

This is another area where there's much change. 30 years ago one always had to order a full bottle (except for champagne as an apertif); now lots of places have wine by the glass and half-bottle, many have full, half or quarter liters, and, obviously, places like wine bars want you to try various things. An open half bottle I'm not familiar with, if it's open it's for pouring glasses usually.

There are also two relatively new trends (since the Evin Law was passed), one placing the bottle on the table and measuring (by the thread = a la ficelle) how much is consumed and doggie bags for taking wine home rather than drinking it down and getting breatholized; but you will not see these at the Bristol etc.