Rooney's Crab House

[Daniel]

My parents took me this weekend to Rooney's Crab House in Long Branch..First impression, I hated this place.. Walking in, we were I guess you can say greated, by some "better then you" I think I'm cute, tart.. After seeing a ton of tables out side, we were told those were for VIPS.. Hmm, VIPS at 5'oclock.. Those tables remained open for the length of our meal.. After the five of us were seated at a four top, we kindly asked to be moved to a five top.. Since the restaurant was empty, we figured it wouldnt be a problem.. After an uncomfortable five minutes, while watching the staff do everything short of pulling out protractors, we received clearance.. No less then five minutes later, a manager walked over and asked us if we were told we could change tables.. While gripping my butter knife and clenching my teeth, I nicely said yes...

Rooney's Crab House..

On to the food.. The menu was vast and extremely pricey.. I didnt have high hopes for this place and I wasnt disappointed.. We started with a bunch of different apps..We got steamers, crab legs, calamari, and a dozen cherry stones..

Our waiter, who was as far from Italian as a bologne and mayo sandwich, felt compelled to pronounce the Calamari in typical Southern Italian, now living on the East Coast Fashion.. Your Galamad is ready..

Thanks, but the Galamad tasta lika crappa.. And at like 15 bucks.. What a bargain!!!

Cherry stones..

Steamers were extremely small, really expensive, but good.. How bad could anything be dipped in butter.. The crab legs were pre-frozen.. Was soggy with the melting fresh water ice crystals.. Gross..,

Next we moved to the entrees.. My girl got the lobster quesadillas..

Oy veh.. Next..

My father got the Ceviche.. Which was essentially boiled seafood served with a limey tomato sauce.. Gross.. I got the jerk swordfish.. 24 bucks and pretty good.. Except for the asparagus which was grey and slimey.. The swordfish was less then 6 oz.. Dont spoil me here..

There are three reasons why I would come back.. One being, to meet my parents.. Two being if they tore the place down an opened a decent restaurant, and the third would be if I was 50 years old and divorced and I felt like spraying on some hair and picking up a 20 something yr old bimbo with my convertible corvette that I would have purchased. No thanks Rooney..

Edited August 8, 2005 by Daniel (log)

[Soup]

Sorry about the bad experience but the shore area has a lot of these type places. Sounds like you would have done better at the windmill. Certainly cheaper.

[Theven]

So your saying you liked it? =)

[=Mark]

There seems to be a rule of thumb down here in Monmouth County; the quality of seafood at restaurants is inversely proportional to their distance to the water. Food at those places literally sitting on the dock/beach is most likely to be crap (Doris & Eds excepted). The best seafood is usually found inland at less than astronomical prices. Rays Seafood in Little Silver and Navesink Fishery in Atlantic Highlands come to mind.

[Daniel]

I think that whole Long Branch area is kind of tough in general.. I mean that little Condo Mc Neighborhood they set up there is so ugly.. And starting at 700 g's .. The architect should be forced to eat at Rooney's everyday.. I dont think there was any consideration given to the surroundings.. Not even giving those horrible condo's any sort of windows to look out on to the ocean.. I think they should just bulldoze the whole thing into the ocean and start again.. Gross.

Edited August 8, 2005 by Daniel (log)

[=Mark]

I think that whole Long Branch area is kind of tough in general.. I mean that little Condo Mc Neighborhood they set up there is so ugly.. And starting at 700 g's  .. The architect should be forced to eat at Rooney's everyday.. I dont think there was any consideration given to the surroundings.. Not even giving those horrible condo's any sort of windows to look out on to the ocean.. I think they should just bulldoze the whole thing into the ocean and start again.. Gross.

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We have one of those local free weekly newspapers (Tr-City News) that is refreshingly frank and honest about many local affairs. If the editor thinks someone is an a$$-hole, he'll come right out and say so. He refers to those Long Branch condos as "Architectural Abortions."

[Bricktop]

Sorry you had a bad experience at Rooney's. I've been there twice and it was pretty good both times. If you really want torture, go to the new McLoone's in Pier Village, though.

Now, to the OT: I live two towns north of the atrocious "development" that has been wrought on a phenomenal location. I can't fathom what they were thinking when they designed those places (other than make a boatload of dough). No, and I mean NO, view. I also saw them going up. Ticky-tacky at best. Hurricane Irene would blow them 5 miles inland.

Edited August 13, 2005 by Bricktop (log)

[=Mark]

To be fair, I was pleasantly surprised when I found that they would allow the hoi polloi to actually drive up to the boardwalk and actually extended the amount of parking within view of it. I agree with the assessment of Pier House though, they are squeezing the "Paying for the View" to it's ultimate. $30 crabcakes and $7 rice pudding while shoehorned into tiny tables populated with tourons dressed in tee shirts and cutoffs.

[bestgirlkk]

I live in Long Branch and agree with all of the above statements. (Love Tri-City News).

Just a question about the term tourons - is that tourist and moron put together? If so you are just brilliant.

Kristen

To be fair, I was pleasantly surprised when I found that they would allow the hoi polloi to actually drive up to the boardwalk and actually extended the amount of parking within view of it.  I agree with the assessment of Pier House though, they are squeezing the "Paying for the View" to it's ultimate.  $30 crabcakes and $7 rice pudding while shoehorned into tiny tables populated with tourons dressed in tee shirts and cutoffs.

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[Rebecca263]

I'll take the 'tourons', you guys can have the snobs!

[=Mark]

$30 crabcakes and $7 rice pudding while shoehorned into tiny tables populated with tourons dressed in tee shirts and cutoffs.

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Not to mention headphone wearing folks walking on the boardwalk who cut through the dining room to both catch a momentary respit from the heat and to see what folks are eating. I certainly would never do this though...

[SueWho321]

Just wondering if anyone has any comments on the Sunday Brunch offered at Rooney's? Was thinking of taking a drive to LB tomorrow for the brunch, but based on comments about other meals both here and on another related board, we will likely not go.. However NONE of the comments ( positive or bashing) mentioned the brunch. Also, no price was posted online for the Sunday Brunch. I feel stupid calling them to ask how much brunch is.