People Talking to You While you Cook

[Bombdog]

I don't mind the talking at all. I kind of enjoy the company and the chatter. What I DON'T like is the "helping". I would rather do it all myself than to watch someone chop clumsily with my precious knife or season something that doesn't need seasoning. You can stand in my kitchen, sip my wine, and talk my ear off... just don't touch anything.

Them's the rules in my kitchen too!

[Carolyn Tillie]

I don't mind the talking at all.  I kind of enjoy the company and the chatter.  What I DON'T like is the "helping".  I would rather do it all myself than to watch someone chop clumsily with my precious knife or season something that doesn't need seasoning.  You can stand in my kitchen, sip my wine, and talk my ear off... just don't touch anything.

Them's the rules in my kitchen too!

Amen.

In my old house, when I was throwing a large party (cooking dinner for over eight or ten people), there was an unwritten rule that you took your life in your hands if you walked into my kitchen while I was cooking. It was a very wide-open set-up so all the guests had perfect access to look and see what was happening, but I wanted them to stay out for the simple reason that as soon as one of them wandered in, someone would follow. The next thing I'd know, the entire party had moved into my work space.

With small dinner parties, it is no big deal -- as long as they just watch and don't try to help. Now and then, a guest will ask if there is anything they can do to help. If they can, I'll advise them with VERY explicit instructions.

[fimbul]

Hrm. I don't mind talking, yelling, music blaring, or any other assorted distractions in the kitchen, so long as I'm not in a frame of mind that allows me to find these distractions, well, distracting. When I'm distracted, I can usually say, tersely but politely, "Not now." or "shut up." or "die, blabbermouth!" as the situation merits.

There are, however, two things that annoy me without fail in my (home) kitchen: the first are the errant guests who position themselves in front of my stove/oven when they know (or should know) damn good and well that thar's food in that thar stove, and I need to get at it. The second is small, four-footed, furry, and says "moo." (I dunno why, ask him.) goes by the name of Behemoth. His greatest joy in life is to twine himself about my legs just as I pick up a pot of boiling water or a chef's knife. I think it's a murder/suicide thing. Or he's an action cat. Either way, one day, he will be the death of one or both of us.

edit: some days, you can write. other days, you just throw letters up on the screen and hope they stick in manner that makes the sense.

Edited June 17, 2004 by fimbul (log)

[hathor]

Everyone congregates and coagulates in my kitchen. I've trained some key family members and friends, and some have even gotten to play with the knives now.

I love having some help and company in the kitchen. (Feed them wine, pot, whatever, keeps them mellow and docile and the conversation interesting but not challenging)

But. Get this. We have a large 'country kitchen'. Basically kitchen at one end and dining table at the end. I came home on Saturday, and my husband had moved the kitchen table out of the kitchen, and into an adjoining room. In its place he put 2 couches and a rug where the table had been. He thought it would just be a lot more social this way. I think its a ridiculous place for the kitchen table.

edit: for clarity

Edited June 17, 2004 by hathor (log)

[bleachboy]

tommy, I've found that giving guests a fat joint shuts them up, too. Especially since there's no smoking in my kitchen.

Hey everybody! Go bug NeroW in the kitchen -- she'll give you a fat joint!

[fimbul]

tommy, I've found that giving guests a fat joint shuts them up, too.  Especially since there's no smoking in my kitchen. 

Hey everybody! Go bug NeroW in the kitchen -- she'll give you a fat joint!

Bugger. I wanted wine. I'll be in hathor's kitchen.

[lesfen]

I'll be doin' a kitchen crawl to all of your homes!

[fimbul]

I'll be doin' a kitchen crawl to all of your homes!

okay, but all I can offer is boiled cat.

[kiliki]

I've told him time and time again don't come around the corner and talk to me while I'm cooking. But he always does it. This morning I was trying to get the sunny side up egg from the pan to the bread in one piece, he comes around the corner saying some crap about flooding and I screw the whole thing up. I'm particular about my food. He knows that. My day is ruined if something's wrong with my food. Sure, that yolk would have broken when I bit into it anyway, but that's when I wanted it to break.

Am I too skittish? This doesn't happen when there are people around me talking. Only when someone talks directly to me, all my concentration goes out the window and I screw something up.

The poor guy. That must make him feel like shit-he can't even come near you in the kitchen? He has to observe silence while you cook, which is probably quite a chunk of time? Then he gets blamed for "ruining your day" when your eggs aren't perfect? My vote is yes, you are way too skittish. Cut the poor guy some slack.

[MArkF]

I don't mind the conversation as long as no one is in the way.

If I want to be alone in the kitchen....I make whomever is conversing do some work (dishes, prep, etc)...presto... quiet or empty kitchen (mostly empty kitchen). Never fails for me!

Mark

[EllenC]

I don't really mind talking or standing or whatever in the kitchen. I don't even mind if you get in the way as long as you don't get huffy when I say, "Move!" I can even handle a certain amount of "helping" particularly if you actually know what you're doing. However, to go back to the original post, if you startle me while I am in the kitchen, you - literally - take your own life in your hands. When I am playing with sharp objects and fire be careful! And if you completely tick me off when you surprise me you may get either burnt or stuck and you WILL go home hungry. That's pretty much a guarantee.

Even the little darlings - mischievous as they are, don't touch mommy in the kitchen. Or at least not without warning.

Edited for clarity.

Edited June 17, 2004 by EllenC (log)

[stovetop]

Some of you are talking about Professional kitchens and some of you are talking about home kitchens, to me they are not that much different, except in a restaurant you have a waiter, manager, other cooks, all wanting your attention; while you are trying to engineer all the orders into some kind of order, you have to get used to it, I found out that if I did not have the mind to be in a couple of different places at once and hold at least two Conversations at once, I would loose my mind; wait, maybe I did, any way I like music on as well, then you can not hear the waitresses screaming; I like that!

stovetop

[phaelon56]

It's all a matter of perspective I suppose. I've spent enough time cooking alone that I love having people in the kitchen with me and they can talk all they want - directly or amongst themselves - doesn't matter.

[sequim]

I find that if you throw them some food, they leave you alone. Of course then I have to worry that they're getting more wine than me and I'm getting distracted again.

[NeroW]

tommy, I've found that giving guests a fat joint shuts them up, too.  Especially since there's no smoking in my kitchen.  

Hey everybody! Go bug NeroW in the kitchen -- she'll give you a fat joint!

Bugger. I wanted wine. I'll be in hathor's kitchen.

Well, I've got that too.

Took an informal poll on this topic at school today: most of the people I asked said to stay away from them in the professional kitchen, but to go ahead and jabber in the home kitchen unless:

1. Plating

2. Standing in front of oven or sink

3. An idiot in the first place.

[Bicycle Lee]

Servers are always bugging me when I am cooking at one of the restaurants I work at...that annoys me immensely... At home I do not mind, but I definitely have to maintain concentration without pretending to be listening.

Oh yeah...and I'd like a fat joint...where can I find you and bug you?

[NeroW]

Oh yeah...and I'd like a fat joint...where can I find you and bug you?

Chicago, my friend.

[enrevanche]

Due to architectural weirdness, the kitchen in my tiny NYC apartment is one of the largest rooms in the house (thank God, as we spend a lot of time in there.) If we have people over for dinner, except in the hottest summer months usually everybody winds up in there as I'm cooking (plus a couple of dogs and a housecat for good measure.)

The glass of wine/shot of vodka/fat joint trick just tends to make my guests *more* talkative. I've learned to chat and cook at the same time, for the most part, and often give visitors little prep jobs to do or hand out amuses-bouches as I get dinner ready. People pet the animals, hang out and talk, to me and each other. I've come to enjoy it.

I forget who said this, but I remember reading an interview with a chef a few years back. He said (paraphrasing) "at any house party, there are really two parties - the one in the living room and the one in the kitchen, and the one in the kitchen is usually better."

[KateW]

The poor guy. That must make him feel like shit-he can't even come near you in the kitchen? He has to observe silence while you cook, which is probably quite a chunk of time? Then he gets blamed for "ruining your day" when your eggs aren't perfect? My vote is yes, you are way too skittish. Cut the poor guy some slack.

Actually, it's not that big a chunk--usually I'm in there when he comes home, scurrying to get food done relatively in synch with when he's ready for it, which is hard because I rarely know when he's going to be home. Or I'm in the kitchen making breakfast. Other than that I'm not, except to get a snack maybe, which rarely involves actual cooking. And I don't actually say "Hey my day was ruined when I fumbled the egg and the yolk broke" but he knows I take my food seriously enough to be sulky for a while when it isn't right. That's why I stopped going to fast food places.

In the 3 apartments I've lived in, my kitchen has never been big enough for more than one person to stand around in. The one I have now is around a corner so I can't even talk to people in the living room while I'm there. It's like I'm in my own little world. I think that's part of the problem.

I like the bell idea.

[Behemoth]

The second is small, four-footed, furry, and says "moo." (I dunno why, ask him.) goes by the name of Behemoth. His greatest joy in life is to twine himself about my legs just as I pick up a pot of boiling water or a chef's knife.

Geez, you coulda said it to my face!

[NulloModo]

I enjoy conversation while I am cooking, as long as I am not cutting as the person is speaking, I can't use a knife safely while distracted.

The only thing that really bugs me is when people come in and stick fingers/spoons/etc into what I am preparing and start tasting it and making suggestions before it is even done, or without asking.

[jo-mel]

Chatty stuff is fine when you are doing some simple, routine kitcheny thingies BUT - when it is time for the last minute stuff -- making the gravy, reseasoning, last minute browning, and that crucial time -- getting everything on the table at once ----then BE QUIET and GET OUT OF MY WAY!

When I use to do Chinese catering -- at some one elses house, I would seethe under my charming smile when some guest would drift in the kitchen, drink in hand, lean against the counter and start to tell me his (mostly men would do this) experiences with Chinese cooking. Or someone would say--- Hmmmm, what is in that sauce. Huh? what is star anise/oyster sauce/Sichuan pepper or whatever. Mind you, my mind is turning all over trying to keep everything timed and flowing. But I was like a duck - "calm and serene on the outside, and paddling like crazy underneath'! AARRRGGHHH! I DO NOT miss catering!

Back in my own kitchen, and about pets. -----My own cats could read me extremely well. They knew when it was safe to be near me, and when to skeddadle. But one winter I had my son's dogs (2 black labs and a golden) for several months. My kitchen is not very big, and is set up so that I can cross to the refrig, or the sink or counter or stove in 2 or 3 steps. It is great for cooking. But those dogs simply loved to be near me and sprawled right in the middle of the floor!! (I finally put up a gate.)

[Suzanne F]

What's the big deal? People who talk AT YOU while you're cooking aren't talking to anybody but themselves. You are under no obligation to respond, or even to listen. Just nod your head occasionally, and mutter, "Uh huh" from time to time (kind of like the guy who interviewed me for Vassar College), and go about your business. This is acceptable both at home and at work, unless the person addressing you is the expo; in that case, you'd better pay attention.

Of course, if you really want to be nice, once you're sitting and eating, you can say, "What were you trying to tell me before?" Most likely, by then s/he will have forgotten, because it wasn't really that important anyway.

[Marlene]

What's the big deal? People who talk AT YOU while you're cooking aren't talking to anybody but themselves. You are under no obligation to respond, or even to listen. Just nod your head occasionally, and mutter, "Uh huh" from time to time (kind of like the guy who interviewed me for Vassar College), and go about your business. This is acceptable both at home and at work, unless the person addressing you is the expo; in that case, you'd better pay attention.

Of course, if you really want to be nice, once you're sitting and eating, you can say, "What were you trying to tell me before?" Most likely, by then s/he will have forgotten, because it wasn't really that important anyway.

I suspect that the "big deal" is that Kate has some attention issues that she's previously detailed. For her, someone talking "at" or "to" her would be a big deal when she's trying to concentrate. I can understand this because I have a son with the same issues.

I personally love to chat while I'm cooking, but for people like Kate and others, they need the quiet to focus on what they are doing so that they can be successful and feel successful at the completion of the project. Whether it be cooking eggs, or anything else.

[redfox]

The only thing that really bugs me is when people come in and stick fingers/spoons/etc into what I am preparing and start tasting it and making suggestions before it is even done, or without asking.

Eeeeee! What swine do that?