Domino's BBQ Wings

[NeroW]

OK. So I have a horrendous hangover and I know this is going to be a really looooong holiday weekend. I don't get hangovers often--that's because I am a professional--but this one is a real rager.

I woke up in desperate need of food, and all we have in my house (as usual) is Ramen and this weird dried fruit that my roommate eats.

Also (as a sideline, I promise I will get to the point soon), we have a cereal called Kashi GoLean. This is also my roommates' food. I was actually considering eating some of this cereal, but then I noticed that the box says the following:

CRUNCHY FIBER TWIGS!

Some ancient back-brain survival instinct kicked in when I read "crunchy fiber twigs," and I thankfully realized that I do NOT need to be eating anything like that.

Plus, we don't have any goddamned milk.

I needed grease. Badly. I wanted a burger, a big fat one, but I look like ass and I didn't feel like schlepping down to the L and riding it in search of burgers.

So. In my backyard is a Domino's Pizza. Some of you may know from previous posts of mine that I am a semi-fan of their pizza. It's not too bad.

But pizza, in my current state, didn't sound *right*. It sounded right-er than crunchy fiber twigs, to be sure, but I wanted something more along the lines of BBQ wings.

I had an epiphany. "Hey! Domino's has BBQ wings!"

In a stupor, I threw on some sunglasses (that flourescent lighting is a real bastard) and wandered into the backyard Domino's Pizza.

"Lemme get some BBQ wings," I said.

"10 minutes," the dude said.

I wandered back to my house, smoked a cigarette, and anticipated the BBQ wings. 10 minutes later (if nothing, Domino's is prompt), I picked up my wings.

Holy crap are they terrible.

They are 10 microwaved wings absolutely coated in a "BBQ" sauce. They were cold, flaccid, and just generally not what I had in mind. At all.

I ate 5 of them before I could stop myself.

Then I went back and ordered a pizza.

And now I feel like I ate the crunchy fiber twigs after all. I gotta drive to Michigan later today in Memorial Day weekend traffic, and if those flabby little fuckers come back to haunt me, I swear, I am boycotting that Domino's in my backyard.

You have been warned.

[tommy]

they're are horrible. i had them for the first time and the last time in about 1993, when they were first introduced in Rochester. i asked for spicy, which meant they put some dried red pepper flakes on them. horrible.

for tomorrow's hangover, do yourself a favor and do it the right way: smoke a fat bowl.

Edited May 28, 2004 by tommy (log)

[NeroW]

for tomorrow's hangover, do yourself a favor and do it the right way: smoke a fat bowl.

No way. I think that's why I actually ate 5 of those Satan wings.

[jhlurie]

Yikes. Sorry to put you on the spot Nero, but what about their Pizza do you even like? Unless it's changed recently (I have to admit not having Dominos for many years), it's always tasted like the cafeteria Pizza I recall eating way back in Middle school.

As for the wings... not to give Dominos the benefit of the doubt (they don't deserve it), but it does sound like the worst part of the problem might be specific to your Dominos location--they were rewarmed at some point before being delivered to you. They probably cook a whole vat or bucket of them, leave them sitting around, and scoop 'em out and re-warm them at need. Yuck.

Since like Tommy it's been about a decade since I subjected myself to Dominos, I haven't tried those "Dots" things either. They sound nightmarish.

[NulloModo]

Their buffalo wings are not much better. Of course, hot as hell buffalo wings are the best cure for a hangover (other than hair of the dog anyway, but that tends to postpone more than cure).

Do you notice yourself getting bizarre food cravings when drunk/hungover? Every time I used to go out drinking I would end up at this local diner for liver and onions with a side of a greek salad loaded with anchovies...

[NeroW]

Every time I used to go out drinking I would end up at this local diner for liver and onions with a side of a greek salad loaded with anchovies...

You're a badass.

[Toliver]

Do you notice yourself getting bizarre food cravings when drunk/hungover?  Every time I used to go out drinking I would end up at this local diner for liver and onions with a side of a greek salad loaded with anchovies...

Not to sidetrack the thread but Best Drunken Meals.

NeroW,

You need to thaw some space in your freezer to store an emergency ration of something greasy that you can nuke just for such an ocassion as this. White Castle Burgers, Gino's Pizza Rolls, chicken nuggets...whatever can hit the spot.

[jhlurie]

Even frozen, you can't go wrong with White Castle burgers. Get the ones without cheese though--I don't think the cheese nukes as well.

[NeroW]

Even frozen, you can't go wrong with White Castle burgers. Get the ones without cheese though--I don't think the cheese nukes as well.

We had some of these last weekend. They rock! Damn . . . wish I had one now.

[phaelon56]

They were cold, flaccid, and just generally not what I had in mind. At all.

Dudette... in the oft used words of my current drinking hero (yes that's you NeroW)... I am NOT gonna touch that one. And you shouldn't either. At least not in your state.

[NeroW]

They were cold, flaccid, and just generally not what I had in mind. At all.

Dudette... in the oft used words of my current drinking hero (yes that's you NeroW)... I am NOT gonna touch that one. And you shouldn't either. At least not in your state.

[ellencho]

My little brother works next door to a Domino's and once brought the hot wings home for us. I would really like to meet someone who finds these wings appetizing at all because I can't understand how Dominoes feels the need to keep these items on their menu.

Needless to say, I'm glad that he did not pay full price for the wings.

I can understand how folks might enjoy their pizzas, especially if they're college kids who don't want to eat the "build your own burrito bar", or the soggy, limp, stir fry that the school cafeteria offers. But eesh, what vendetta does the owner of Domino's have against chicken wings and the people of the world?

[VeryApe77]

Ah yes Nero, I know that branch of Dominos well. Never actually eaten food from there, but I walk past it often.

Should have gone to the Northside after all....

[NeroW]

Ah yes Nero, I know that branch of Dominos well. Never actually eaten food from there, but I walk past it often.

Should have gone to the Northside after all....

I figured you might know it. Well, it's in my backyard.

[tommy]

i can't think of another food that even stoned people don't like.

[jhlurie]

i can't think of another food that even stoned people don't like.

Natto? I mean except for stoned Japanese people...

[JennotJenn]

i can't think of another food that even stoned people don't like.

Morningstar Farms faux hot wings. Barf.

[tommy]

i can't think of another food that even stoned people don't like.

Natto? I mean except for stoned Japanese people...

ok. let me qualify that with "fast food". or "greasy food." chicken wings rule. and they rule even more when you're drunk and/or stoned. so to think that they can't produce wings good enough for those drunk/stoned people is simply amazing. although i don't know if i'd like the pizza at this point drunk/stoned. in college, however, there was nothing better than a dominos peppers/pepporoni after a few long pulls off the water bong.

[Suzanne F]

They were cold, flaccid, and just generally not what I had in mind. At all.

Dudette... in the oft used words of my current drinking hero (yes that's you NeroW)... I am NOT gonna touch that one. And you shouldn't either. At least not in your state.

Why not? What's the legal age for guys there?

Okay, back on topic: It couldn't be THAT bad a hangover if you want to eat. Could it?

[tommy]

Okay, back on topic: It couldn't be THAT bad a hangover if you want to eat. Could it?

it's been a while since you've been hungover, yes?

[Pickles]

I gotta drive to Michigan later today in Memorial Day weekend traffic, and if those flabby little fuckers come back to haunt me, I swear, I am boycotting that Domino's in my backyard.

That was one funny story. Sorry about your hangover. Keep a stash of nourishing grease around. Some bacon perhaps...that "cures" everything...(did that pun make your wings churn??) and some eggs and cheese? At least you'll get some vitamins with the eggs that are essential and they help detox your liver. Pop some croissants or bagels in the freezer , too. And don't forget to pop a vitamin!

Edited May 29, 2004 by Pickles (log)

[jeniac42]

Oh, ew. I haven't tried them but I have eaten leftover wings from my last job (cold, reheated) and I know exactly the taste/texture you're talking about. I really don't think even the biggest bowl in the world would help that.

I have a White Castle in my front yard and feel obliged to report that if you have an actual White Castle, the fish sandwiches are the best thing going there. Jalapeno cheeseburgers are muy tasty when drunk, but they will haunt you with your next-morning's hangover.

[pete ganz]

Yes, the wings at Dominos are ass, but if you HAVE to have something there, try the chicken kickers. They're basically chicken nuggets with hot sauce, but much better than those rubbery wings.

[Moopheus]

I can understand how folks might enjoy their pizzas, especially if they're college kids

When I was in college the main reason we ordered from Domino's was the local shop offered 25 cent sodas with each pizza. Someone on the floor would order a pizza, and we'd get 20 or 30 sodas to go with it. When we actually wanted pizza to eat, we'd order from one of the local places. Eventually Domino's had to end that special.