Your Culinary Nemesis in the Kitchen

[SethG]

I can't seem to fillet a fish (or handle a cooked fillet of fish) without losing a bunch o' chunks.

By the way, on the subject of pie crust, I'm a pie newbie but I've had good luck with Rose Levy Beranbaum's cream cheese crust from The Pie And Pastry Bible (eGullet credit link). Her directions are beyond detailed.

[NeroW]

I SUCK at browning things that are crusted in cornmeal.

[maggiethecat]

Word. I suck at phyllo dough,

Liar, liar, pants on fire! I've eaten your delectable chicken pillows.

I groan when I read a recipe that suggests that I have a candy thermometer handy.

[NeroW]

I groan when I read a recipe that suggests that I have a candy thermometer handy.

Me too.

[Jinmyo]

Croutons. I am the queen, the goddess of burnt bread. I can set timers. I can stand right next to the oven. I can swear it will not happen again. I can have family members watching over me. But, the ONLY thing that gets me to open the over door is the smell of carbon. Fate.

Toss them about in a skillet instead.

[markf424]

-ricotta gnocchi (and I think it's my own fault. I always forget to drain the ricotta first- plus, I suspect this is something I'm not going to be too inspired to master when I always pop over to Angeli Caffe for theirs)

Draining ricotta. How often do I forget? 80%? Maybe more like 90% of the time. And I stomp my foot and promise that I'll remember next time...

[nessa]

Ok ok OK. Candy making.

Let me confess. I make fudge with semisweet morsels and sweetend condensed milk. In the microwave. Everyone loves it. But I feel so guilty. I just bought another candy/fryer thermometer. The reason my chocolate caramel candies failed last time, is obviously due to the faulty nature of the thermometer and not a lack of candy-making talent on my part. I refuse to let sugar get the best of me.

I can't make ganache either though..... no matter how slowly I stir. I get these strange little lumps of chocolate not grainy, but like slivers and shards here and there of the chocolate refusing to emulsify with the cream. It tastes great, and most the truffles come out fine..... but then you bite into one and theres a shard or chip that rather ruins the texture and mouthfeel. Not that it keeps me from eating them......

[balmagowry]

Roasted veggies.  I love them, love their shiny glossiness and sweet goodness, but can I duplicate those luscious photos, no!  Mine are rarely glossy

Huh - how odd. You are remembering to put on that last extra coat of polyurethane the way the food stylists do - aren't you?

[sequim]

Roasted veggies.  I love them, love their shiny glossiness and sweet goodness, but can I duplicate those luscious photos, no!  Mine are rarely glossy

Huh - how odd. You are remembering to put on that last extra coat of polyurethane the way the food stylists do - aren't you?

Hey, that could solve alot of problems!

[Devilkitty]

Roasted veggies.  I love them, love their shiny glossiness and sweet goodness, but can I duplicate those luscious photos, no!  Mine are rarely glossy

Huh - how odd. You are remembering to put on that last extra coat of polyurethane the way the food stylists do - aren't you?

Hey, that could solve a lot of problems!

Not the least of which is the elimination of the customary "discussion" over who gets to eat them after the photos are done...

[JAZ]

Pancakes. I've tried scores of recipes, including Bisquik, and nothing turns out those fluffy light cakes I'm looking for. My sister used the recipe from Joy of Cooking at Christmas and made wonderful pancakes; I went home, used the same recipe, and turned out thin, dense miserable tan frisbees.

[HKDave]

Pan fried chicken. Done it many times, tried all the recipes, read all the threads, love it. But as often as not, I make a complete mess of it. And even when it works, it's still not as good as KFC. A couple weeks ago I had 2 (cast iron) pans of chicken going at the same time. One came out well, the other sucked. Exact same everything in both pans. Drives me crazy. But I continue..... and the first person that suggests I check my oil temperature gets a fat lip.

Oh yeah, I also can't do pastry to save my life. But I don't even try to do that kind of stuff.

- Hong Kong Dave

[Bond Girl]

This is really embarrassing considering my nationality, but Chinese food. Never did it well, and always end up tasting weird.

[GG Mora]

Pancakes. I've tried scores of recipes, including Bisquik, and nothing turns out those fluffy light cakes I'm looking for. My sister used the recipe from Joy of Cooking at Christmas and made wonderful pancakes; I went home, used the same recipe, and turned out thin, dense miserable tan frisbees.

Bet yer mixing 'em too much. Every time I've had pancakes that sucked – that were too thin and rubbery – it was because someone just couldn't resist mixing until the batter was perfectly smooth. Go light. Leave it lumpy.

[sequim]

This is really embarrassing considering my nationality, but Chinese food.  Never did it well, and always end up tasting weird.

So now we know being a good cook isn't genetic. It's either fate or practise.

[flapjack willy]

as well as not over mixing is to let the batter rest for ten or so minutes to let the chemical leavening ingredients go to work

[GG Mora]

as well as not over mixing is to let the batter rest for ten or so minutes to let the chemical leavening ingredients go to work

Yeah, that too. That seems to help with biscuits, as well. After I cut them and lay them out on the baking sheet, I let them sit for ten minutes. I discovered this quite by accident when I had to hold up breakfast production because my 17-yr-old stepdaughter couldn't be bothered getting out of bed.

Oh, and Flapjack Willy? Welcome® to eGullet.

[tastykimmie]

Pan fried chicken. Done it many times, tried all the recipes, read all the threads, love it. But as often as not, I make a complete mess of it. And even when it works, it's still not as good as KFC. A couple weeks ago I had 2 (cast iron) pans of chicken going at the same time. One came out well, the other sucked. Exact same everything in both pans. Drives me crazy. But I continue..... and the first person that suggests I check my oil temperature gets a fat lip.

Oh yeah, I also can't do pastry to save my life. But I don't even try to do that kind of stuff.

- Hong Kong Dave

As good as KFC......................is KFC chicken really good?....................NOT!!

[Bond Girl]

This is really embarrassing considering my nationality, but Chinese food.  Never did it well, and always end up tasting weird.

So now we know being a good cook isn't genetic. It's either fate or practise.

It certainly isn't. Some of those techniques that culinary students have trouble with I can do, but Chinese Cooking has always been the bane of my culinary non-expertise.

[Rhea_S]

Slowly braised meat dishes...

When I make dishes like this - I always make them a day or two or three before - in the morning - while I'm awake . Most reheat beautifully - and taste better a day or two after the original braising.

I've done that as well and have had better results, but I still mess up 2 out of 3 times. Forgetfulness and impatience don't help.

I just remembered something that I never get right: icebox cookies. I can't get the cookie cylinder round, there's always a hole in the middle and the dough crumbles when I try to slice. I'll ice the cakes if someone else makes the icebox cookies :D

[NeroW]

Pancakes. I've tried scores of recipes, including Bisquik, and nothing turns out those fluffy light cakes I'm looking for. My sister used the recipe from Joy of Cooking at Christmas and made wonderful pancakes; I went home, used the same recipe, and turned out thin, dense miserable tan frisbees.

Bet yer mixing 'em too much. Every time I've had pancakes that sucked – that were too thin and rubbery – it was because someone just couldn't resist mixing until the batter was perfectly smooth. Go light. Leave it lumpy.

Maybe try letting the batter stand.

EDIT: to say Flapjack beat me to it!

Edited April 9, 2004 by NeroW (log)

[robyn]

Pancakes. I've tried scores of recipes, including Bisquik, and nothing turns out those fluffy light cakes I'm looking for. My sister used the recipe from Joy of Cooking at Christmas and made wonderful pancakes; I went home, used the same recipe, and turned out thin, dense miserable tan frisbees.

I use White Lily buttermilk pancake mix. Works great. It's a southern brand - made with "soft" flour. Don't know if it's available outside the south. Robyn

[robyn]

I've done that as well and have had better results, but I still mess up 2 out of 3 times. Forgetfulness and impatience don't help.

OK - I see you're as bad as I am. When I have something cooking - and it will cook for a while - and I'm not at the stove/oven/grill - I put a kitchen timer with a loud buzzer in my pocket. I can usually remember what the buzzer means when it goes off . As for impatience - I can't help you with that one. Robyn

[foodobsessed]

Sweet baked goods. By sweet, I mean cookies, cakes, etc. I can turn out a good loaf of bread from time to time.

I'm convinced that the reason why I burn every cookie I try to bake for my kids' school functions, is because I don't have much of a sweet tooth. Savory is my thing. So subliminally, I'm burning them on purpose.

You think?..............

[Jinmyo]

I'm convinced that the reason why I burn every cookie I try to bake for my kids' school functions, is because I don't have much of a sweet tooth. Savory is my thing. So subliminally, I'm burning them on purpose.

You think?..............

Yes and you're right to.