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Steve, Don't Eat it!


Schielke
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I have to give the guy credit...for what I don't know, but I do have to give him credit. :laugh:

John Sconzo, M.D. aka "docsconz"

"Remember that a very good sardine is always preferable to a not that good lobster."

- Ferran Adria on eGullet 12/16/2004.

Docsconz - Musings on Food and Life

Slow Food Saratoga Region - Co-Founder

Twitter - @docsconz

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I like the older entries in the "Steve Don't Eat It" archive. The "Potted Meat" entry alone is worth the trouble of looking.

Steve says:

I know I learned at least one thing from "Ralph's Potted Meat"-- Ralph is a fucking dick.

Jon Lurie, aka "jhlurie"

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The Urkel-O's segment is pretty funny, too:

This particular box of Urkel-O's is unique because it's some kind of weird sales sample, and has "marketing features and benefits" on the back. One of the "features" is actually listed as: Fun, circle-shaped product. I had no idea circles were so fun. At least now I know what to get the kids next Christmas. A fucking circle.

Michael aka "Pan"

 

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I was the biggest fan of the pickled pork rinds. Husband took the computer away from me because I was laughing so hard at "Steve Don't Eat It!" that it was really annoying him. He gave it back on the condition that I didn't go back to Steve's page as long as he was in the room.

Oh, and this is one of my favorite quotes:

As I attempted to fish out a "good one," I couldn't help notice the alarming skin texture. For all those times I wondered what it would be like to gnaw on my grandmother's thigh, I was about to find out.
Edited by JennotJenn (log)

Gourmet Anarchy

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I was the biggest fan of the pickled pork rinds. Husband took the computer away from me because I was laughing so hard at "Steve Don't Eat It!" that it was really annoying him. He gave it back on the condition that I didn't go back to Steve's page as long as he was in the room.

? :blink::blink:

Michael aka "Pan"

 

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I was the biggest fan of the pickled pork rinds. Husband took the computer away from me because I was laughing so hard at "Steve Don't Eat It!" that it was really annoying him. He gave it back on the condition that I didn't go back to Steve's page as long as he was in the room.

? :blink::blink:

He was trying to read and the sound of my chortles was distracting him. And no, the concept of moving to another room does not occur to him :rolleyes:

Gourmet Anarchy

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Damn you. Now I have diet coke all over my monitor.

“"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"

"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"

"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.

Pooh nodded thoughtfully.

"It's the same thing," he said.”

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My favorite part was from the pork rinds section:
The label says "Ready to Eat." They left off "By Dumb-Asses."

Hey Now!

I resemble that remark! :laugh:

Brooks Hamaker, aka "Mayhaw Man"

There's a train everyday, leaving either way...

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WoW - perverted comic genius! Rabelaisian in its depiction of la condition humaine. :laugh:

Oh, J[esus]. You may be omnipotent, but you are SO naive!

- From the South Park Mexican Starring Frog from South Sri Lanka episode

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My favorite part was from the pork rinds section:
The label says "Ready to Eat." They left off "By Dumb-Asses."

Hey Now!

I resemble that remark! :laugh:

Brooks, ya gotta read the whole thing. These are not your run of the mill pork rinds (which I dearly love) but pickled pork rinds that are basically chunks of pig skin in vinager. They look like something Hannibal Lecter might snack on.

I really enjoyed the part where he tried to reassemble the skin back into a pig. I think I wrenched something permanently because I was laughing so hard.

Chad

Chad Ward

An Edge in the Kitchen

William Morrow Cookbooks

www.chadwrites.com

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:laugh: I still have tears in my eyes!! I'm printing his home page as I type to share with everyone I know! Thanks for sharing!!

Some say the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, I say, are you going to drink that?

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Dan Savage answered a similar question:

If one were to make cheese from human breast milk, what commercially available cheese would be its closest relation in taste and texture?

-- Please note: the first question & answer that this link leads to deal with "human breast milk cheese"; the subsequent questions and answers are very sexually explicit and may be offensive.

http://www.portlandmercury.com/2002-02-21/savage.html

and the answer is pretty good:

The overwhelming majority of commercially available cheeses are made from plain old cows' milk, which means that cheese production--what you do with the milk--and not the origin of the milk should be largely responsible for taste and texture.

. . .

It's also interesting to note that all cheese is made from breast milk, because all milk comes from breasts (of various mammals).

Edited by lueid813 (log)
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How about this food-related item in the same day's column:

His name is Jeff, and he is a gorgeous, caring, and loyal lover. In response to his question, "What's for dessert?" my response is, "You are, and I am going to eat you up like a bowl of Blue Boy ice cream." Thanks, Dan.

:raz:

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  • 1 month later...

I just sprayed friggin' beer all over my keyboard. This has to be my favourite quote :

"While I cannot endorse the eating of Pickled Pork Rinds, I do endorse playing with it like a puzzle. I did have some fun trying to put the pig back together, but eventually that got boring as I lost the will to live."

Cheers

Tom

I want food and I want it now

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A know of a woman who used to collect airplane barf bags. Fact is, people will collect everything including the kitchen sink - and dust. :laugh::raz:

Michael aka "Pan"

 

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