Sandra Lee's Show...

[John]

Chili dogs! Damn. Sorry I missed this one.

[chiffonade]

and the oil drained from the bocconcini...

The funny part of that is what she was using was fior di latte NOT bocconcini. Fior di latte are much smaller. When she was slicing the cheese, DH said, "Why doesn't she use the larger fresh mozzie?" I was thinking the same thing. It was only after I visited TVFN and saw the recipe called for bocconcini that I realized someone bought her the wrong cheese to use and she didn't know it because she didn't mention anything about the size discrepancy.

Why do I know so much about cheese? My dad worked for Polly-O for 38 years. When it comes to Ricotta, Mozzarella, etc. my bro and I know that stuff like the back of our hand!

[lesfen]

Okay lesfen let's get this straight.  Not only are your co-workers enamored of our Shamdra, but YOUR PARENTS TOO!  Now that's brutal.  Have you had the nerve to ask your co-workers what exactly do they like about her "cooking?"  I dread the thought any potluck events at your job.

Don't forget to shoot me an invitation for this office get together.

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Did I mention that I'm trapped in Semi-Rural Ohio? These are her people! My comments are usually limited to "you know, it's just as easy to (insert basic cooking technique here)."

BTW... your potluck example looks like pure bliss compared to what I actually endured last Wednesday. Let's have a look, shall we?

1. Supermarket veggie tray. Mmm... celery.

2. Some kind of layered salad. It wouldn't have been bad except for the SOUPY Miracle Whip dressing that she tossed it with. I can't deal with the sweet dressing. It streamed off of the serving tongs. It she would have served it on the side, I would have eaten it. This, by the way is a potluck staple in my office.

3. Macaroni Salad. Not bad.

4. Nacho Dip. Some sort of processed cheese mixed with Jimmy Dean sausage (breakfat sausage), served in a crockpot. Quite possibly the saltiest, most nauseating thing that I have ever put in my mouth.

5. Chicken Wings, purchased from a local pub. Not great, but not bad either.

6. Sloppy Joe's, also served in a crockpot, complete with a quarter inch of grease on top.

7. Smoked sausage and sauerkraut. Not bad... the kraut was a little sweet, but it wasn't all bad. She used some really nice sausage from a local Amish community.

8. Sausage balls. Sandra would have been proud of these little tid-bits. Jimmy Dean sausage (Top's must have had a sale.) and bisquik, topped with cheddar cheese. Weird. That's all I have to say about that.

I made a tomato phyllo pizza. People really seemed to like it and they thought that it was fancy. I have to thank my dad for the amazing tomato from his garden. Despite the weird weather that we've had, the tomatoes have been the best in years. The only thing missing was the crescent roll veggie pizza.

So yeah, that's what I'm up agains around here.

[djbeers]

Chili dogs! Damn. Sorry I missed this one.

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I was highly impressed when she let us in our her "trick" to heating up hot dogs. Yes, "amazing" was the superlative used when we learned that hot dogs can be heated up in a pot of hot water in mere minutes!

I must try this at home sometime. Jeez.

[lesfen]

I just noticed that she can't use a knife. I mean... she actually looks uncomfortable with it. I'm really surprised that she hasn't lopped off a finger yet, or more accurately, her thumb. No wonder she buys everything pre-cut.

[chiffonade]

I just noticed that she can't use a knife.  I mean... she actually looks uncomfortable with it.  I'm really surprised that she hasn't lopped off a finger yet, or more accurately, her thumb.  No wonder she buys everything pre-cut.

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DH cringes every time he sees her pick up a knife. As for me, what drives me batsh*t is when she sticks her index finger out over the back of the blade of a chef's knife. Arghhhh! Wrap, Sandy, wrap! Wrap that finger around the bolster! For humanity's sake!

[divalasvegas]

Okay lesfen let's get this straight.  Not only are your co-workers enamored of our Shamdra, but YOUR PARENTS TOO!  Now that's brutal.  Have you had the nerve to ask your co-workers what exactly do they like about her "cooking?"  I dread the thought any potluck events at your job.

Don't forget to shoot me an invitation for this office get together.

←

Did I mention that I'm trapped in Semi-Rural Ohio? These are her people! My comments are usually limited to "you know, it's just as easy to (insert basic cooking technique here)."

BTW... your potluck example looks like pure bliss compared to what I actually endured last Wednesday. Let's have a look, shall we?

1. Supermarket veggie tray. Mmm... celery.

2. Some kind of layered salad. It wouldn't have been bad except for the SOUPY Miracle Whip dressing that she tossed it with. I can't deal with the sweet dressing. It streamed off of the serving tongs. It she would have served it on the side, I would have eaten it. This, by the way is a potluck staple in my office.

3. Macaroni Salad. Not bad.

4. Nacho Dip. Some sort of processed cheese mixed with Jimmy Dean sausage (breakfat sausage), served in a crockpot. Quite possibly the saltiest, most nauseating thing that I have ever put in my mouth.

5. Chicken Wings, purchased from a local pub. Not great, but not bad either.

6. Sloppy Joe's, also served in a crockpot, complete with a quarter inch of grease on top.

7. Smoked sausage and sauerkraut. Not bad... the kraut was a little sweet, but it wasn't all bad. She used some really nice sausage from a local Amish community.

8. Sausage balls. Sandra would have been proud of these little tid-bits. Jimmy Dean sausage (Top's must have had a sale.) and bisquik, topped with cheddar cheese. Weird. That's all I have to say about that.

I made a tomato phyllo pizza. People really seemed to like it and they thought that it was fancy. I have to thank my dad for the amazing tomato from his garden. Despite the weird weather that we've had, the tomatoes have been the best in years. The only thing missing was the crescent roll veggie pizza.

So yeah, that's what I'm up agains around here.

←

Oh. My. Gawd!!!

eGullet Moment of Silence for lesfen.................................

Are you sure you're not the long lost sister of this fellow eGullet poster? This is from the worst meal at someone's home thread:

Katherine, page 3, post #66

Please dear Lord, deliver our sister, lesfen from the culinary abyss where she currently dwells.

As for these most recent posters.................. rock on! It took me a while to catch my breath long enough to respond.

[kjente2]

Armed with all of your warnings, and because I had a day off, I was able to watch today..it was accidental, but I did watch it.

I thought my gut would split when she said in the introduction something to the effect of making this and that AND would use "something from your very own refrigerator"! OMG!

In todays theme, Sandra brought outdoor items inside for tablescape...now, I'm not a prude, but if I went to someone's home and they put their outdoor birdbath on the table...buh bye. This was after "cooking".

Three cans of soup the turned into a different larger amount of canned soup. Grilled cheese sandwiches made with....ready?....canned cheese as the secret ingredient. The pear tart was made out of canned pears...this babe is a walking commercial. And a drink made out of the famous food science topping...

It's one of the best comedies on television and a sad sham...sadder if she buys/believes it.

[lesfen]

Are you sure you're not the long lost sister of this fellow eGullet poster?  This is from the worst meal at someone's home thread:

Katherine, page 3, post #66

Oh damn. MASHED hot dogs? I could barely type that without dry heaving. No, it's never been that bad.

Regarding the jealousy thing... Yeah, I'm a little jealous. I'll admit it. I can handle it. I'M JEALOUS BECAUSE A WOMAN THAT CAN'T EVEN HOLD A KNIFE GETS TO HAVE HER OWN COOKING SHOW.

The other day I was thinking about TFN and wondering what they're holiday parties must be like now-a-days... I mean, back in the day they must have been a hoot. David, Emeril, Mario, Sara, Bobby, Jack, Jacques, etc.... hangin' out, talkin' shop, and probably having a pretty good time. Now, if they even show up, those guys probably sit back in a corner drinking and doing exactly what we're doing right now. Can you imagine being Mario and having to make nicey-nice with Sandra Lee and Mark Summers??!! ("Dude, weren't you on Double Dare? WTF?")

Edited September 6, 2005 by lesfen (log)

[Jaymes]

jarred bruschetta for God's sake

And frankly, since 'bruschetta' is the BREAD, and not the now-ubiquitous American-style tomato topping, that makes it even worse; ie, that Sandra, a so-called cooking and food expert, doesn't even seem to know what bruschetta is.

[rich]

canned potatoes

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Canned Potatoes???????? - They sell canned potatoes? How do you can a potato? Why would you can a potato? Must be a big can to fit several potatoes. Do they come mashed too?