What Do You Find Annoying in Dining Companions?

[megaira]

i know so many people like this....that come from good homes too. it's so puzzling to me.

My parents said the same thing about friends of theirs. The wife was raised in a very nice upper middle class home...the husband was backwoods virginia. She had horrendous table manners, his were impeccable. He was a truck driver and part time bouncer and looked the part, but he had his table manners down pat.

Maybe some people who're raised in nice homes get crabby about the nagging "elbows off the table," etc. and rebel, never to pick it up again.

[Busboy]

I'm big into sharing and thank goodness, most foodie people are accomodating in sharing what they get (more tastes for everyone!). My S.O. and I always debate the menu to make sure we both order enough complimentary items so we get the ultimate tastes.

However, the guy I dated just previously to Shawn was notorious in NOT wanting to share diddly. So much so that, knowing my aversion to ultra-spicy food, would deliberately order the spiciest dish on the menu just to keep me from having a taste.

Sad, huh?

This doesn't make sense, unless you've made it clear from the get-go that everyone is supposed to share food.

It's nice that you like to share but I happen to like spicy food, as well. If I am dining out with a group, they can order whatever they want and share whatever they want, but I'm still ordering the spicy food because I like it that way. If you can't eat it and are disappointed that you can't share it, don't take it out on me. I will happily share my spicy food with anyone at the table who likes spicy food, but do you really want me to order the oatmeal just because you can't eat my spicy machaca? Think again.

I think the point was that is was rude and bizarre to order spicy food specifically in order to avoid having to share (with your girfriend, at that), not that everyone has to order food that everyone else approves of.

[Carolyn Tillie]

I'm big into sharing and thank goodness, most foodie people are accomodating in sharing what they get (more tastes for everyone!). My S.O. and I always debate the menu to make sure we both order enough complimentary items so we get the ultimate tastes.

However, the guy I dated just previously to Shawn was notorious in NOT wanting to share diddly. So much so that, knowing my aversion to ultra-spicy food, would deliberately order the spiciest dish on the menu just to keep me from having a taste.

Sad, huh?

This doesn't make sense, unless you've made it clear from the get-go that everyone is supposed to share food.

It's nice that you like to share but I happen to like spicy food, as well. If I am dining out with a group, they can order whatever they want and share whatever they want, but I'm still ordering the spicy food because I like it that way. If you can't eat it and are disappointed that you can't share it, don't take it out on me. I will happily share my spicy food with anyone at the table who likes spicy food, but do you really want me to order the oatmeal just because you can't eat my spicy machaca? Think again.

I think the point was that is was rude and bizarre to order spicy food specifically in order to avoid having to share (with your girfriend, at that), not that everyone has to order food that everyone else approves of.

Thank you, Busboy. You got my point.

I don't MANDATE that EVERYONE I eat with share their meal with me -- it was about being in a relationship and having a partner who did not like to share anything.

In fact, thinking back on the short-lived romance, the first weekend I stayed with him, he got up in the morning and proceeded to cook up an entire bag of frozen pot-stickers. Thinking he was cooking them for US, I was somewhat astounded that he never offered me a single one and THEN proceeded to tell me to help myself to whatever he had in the kitchen for breakfast (there was a jar of peanut butter and two cans of beer left...).

I don't keep Shawn from ordering spicy food just because I don't like it either...

[hannnah]

Extremely picky eaters - gaaah!

Case in point: a friend's SO won't eat anything but burgers and fries, with an occasional foray into steak. That's it.

Most of the time, we end up going to some version of TGI McScratchy's, where there's enough variation on the menu that one doesn't have to order the same thing every time, except for him. This week, we ended up at a nice Asian fusion place downtown for a big pre-theater meal - it was a reasonably sized group, I'd thrown out several options, and Mr. Picky didn't express a preference.

The rest of us had a perfectly lovely meal. They got stuck in traffic and were late getting there, so only had time to order appetizers - had they been on time, there was steak on the menu so he would have been fine.

He ordered the pork and shrimp lumpia-style spring rolls, which I had at the beginning of the evening, and which were most excellent. He takes one bite, then sits there looking at them like a dog had taken a dump on his plate. Next time, he can go to TGI's in the next block while the rest of us have a nice dinner.

[tryska]

Maybe some people who're raised in nice homes get crabby about the nagging "elbows off the table," etc. and rebel, never to pick it up again.

i think you may be on to something, because i've thought the same thing.

but god...pierce your face or something...don't offend others just because your trying to make a point to mom and dad.

[Tam]

Many years ago, my close buddy shows up with the new girl (who has a cold) to a group supper at a japanese restaurant. As we all share platters of gyozas, the new girl and I share a sauce plate (one sauce to two diners). The group has a longstanding rule of "no double dipping", however, she is new and obviously raised in a cave. So, she proceeds to double dip with her germ-infested saliva and I quickly cease dipping. At the end of the meal, we divvy up the check and find out that we are short. Another buddy and I make up the difference and later realize that the double dipper did not pay her way nor did her escort pay her way. This event is infamous in our group - she had the nerve to double dip and then leave her debt for us - she just gives and gives and gives (germs and debt)! Buddy is now married to the double dipper and they are never invited for meals.

[Nick]

...  The group has a longstanding rule of "no double dipping", however, she is new and obviously raised in a cave.  So, she proceeds to double dip with her germ-infested saliva and I quickly cease dipping....

Are you Howard Hughes' daughter? What is this business of being afraid of "double-dipping" and "germ infested saliva"? Do your dining companions all have exotic diseases that can be transmitted by "double-dipping"?

Have you never shared a common glass or bottle with friends? Or even strangers?

[hjshorter]

...  The group has a longstanding rule of "no double dipping", however, she is new and obviously raised in a cave.  So, she proceeds to double dip with her germ-infested saliva and I quickly cease dipping....

Are you Howard Hughes' daughter? What is this business of being afraid of "double-dipping" and "germ infested saliva"? Do your dining companions all have exotic diseases that can be transmitted by "double-dipping"?

Have you never shared a common glass or bottle with friends? Or even strangers?

It did say that the double dipper had a cold. I'd be a little put out myself.

[tommy]

i don't like it when companions talk about other people. and i really don't like it if they don't let me taste what they're eating!

[Nick]

...  The group has a longstanding rule of "no double dipping", however, she is new and obviously raised in a cave.  So, she proceeds to double dip with her germ-infested saliva and I quickly cease dipping....

Are you Howard Hughes' daughter? What is this business of being afraid of "double-dipping" and "germ infested saliva"? Do your dining companions all have exotic diseases that can be transmitted by "double-dipping"?

Have you never shared a common glass or bottle with friends? Or even strangers?

It did say that the double dipper had a cold. I'd be a little put out myself.

It did say the group had "a longstanding rule of no double dipping." While perhaps the person with the cold should have refrained (or had her own bowl), the "germ infested saliva" did remind me of Howard Hughes.

[hjshorter]

It did say the group had "a longstanding rule of no double dipping."

Hm, I missed that part. That does sound a little Howard Hughes-like.

[Nick]

i don't like it when companions talk about other people.  and i really don't like it if they don't let me taste what they're eating!

Hey Tommy! When are you going to tell us about your trip to Italy?

[mighty quinn]

It did say the group had "a longstanding rule of no double dipping."

Hm, I missed that part. That does sound a little Howard Hughes-like.

cool dining companion, that howard hughes...

[Mabelline]

Yes, he had such an amusing way of stabbing appetisers with his fingernails. Kind of paranoid about wills, though. And it was always SUCH a hassle finding places whose dress codes included diapers. And talk about a cheapskate- he used to stick everybody with the bill!

[tjaehnigen]

I used to have this boss, great guy. But he had lots of odd personal habits. One of these habits was the way he would eat. At a work-related party, he sat down next to me and we were talking while chowing down on some good food. He insisted on speaking while he was chewing and also insisted on shoveling more food in his mouth while he continued to talk.

All I can remember from the conversation was watching the dangly bits of food hanging from his teeth while he talked AT me as I continued to stare at him, transfixed by these gloriously grotesque dangly bits. It was like watching a train wreck.

[sherribabee]

Does anyone else derive secret pleasure from taking extremely picky eaters out to places where you know they'll hate everything?

I used to know a girl who only ate about 10 things (plain pasta, turkey cold-cuts, Zesta crackers, a certain brand of string cheese, Coke, uncooked white cake batter, McD's chicken nuggets, hamburgers, KFC and a couple other things...that's it...I'm not exaggerating). She absolutely refused to try aything new (people who refuse to try new foods irritate me like you wouldn't believe).

I used to LOVE it when we'd be in a group and trying to figure out where to have dinner. I would inevitably suggest going to the Pakistani place up the street or to the Thai place, out for sushi, etc.

Then I'd sit there and smirk as she either said she wouldn't join us or would go along and just sit ther drinking her Coke and eating plain noodles (if they would even serve them to her).

I'm evil.

[megaira]

Does anyone else derive secret pleasure from taking extremely picky eaters out to places where you know they'll hate everything?

I hadn't thought of it before, but now that you've given me ideas.... bwa hahaha!

The houseguests from above have a limited list of about 10 things they'll collectively eat.

ABSOLUTELY nothing with spices in it. God forbid.

Now, she has dietary problems: IBS and lactose intolorance, so that's *fine* I can understand and cook around much of it, I have similar problems - so I understand if I suggest something and someone says "oh, I've had that and it really makes a mess of my stomach" -the "stomach" excuse will fly with me any day because I've been there.

But when we try to get them to try new things the complaints are instead thus:

"Indian? No way, it smells like BO!"

"Thai? No way, it tastes like ASS!"

The thai discussion was interesting:

"Will you try Thai?"

"No way, it tastes like ass!"

"you've never had it, how do you know what it tastes like?"

"I just do"

"so, you're saying you've had ass...?"

Ok, sit here and eat chinese, but thai is too exotic.

We did order thai for ourselves anyway - hub went and picked that up while she and I went and picked up chinese. I made them a dinner with madhur jaffrey's tinfoil wrapped chicken, samosas and something else one night. Granted, the samosas did taste off a bit, but it was irritating to watch them pick through their meal and say "hmm, this is wierd" whilst making faces. They did at least make an effort to eat it, I'll give them that much.

[Mabelline]

While this is none of my business, if you aren't prominently featured in those folkses will, or related against your better judgment, I'd cook them some good old-fashioned Ex-Lax cookies.

[cherrypi]

People who complain that whatever dish they're eating doesn't taste as good as the version they make at home can be annoying: "They don't know how to make a proper omelette - look at it, it's all dry and brown - I should save my money and make it at home! Now, let me tell you how to make the best omelette in the world..."

[Batgrrrl]

A ray of hope in all this darkness: the college at which I teach (small, public, midwestern, liberal arts) appears to occasionally hold "etiquette dinners," in which students are expected to arrive dressed nicely and then instructed in basics of meeting and greeting, being a guest and being a host, and table manners. So there is some awareness, at least here, that these things are (a) important in the world, and (b) not being learned at home these days!

I'm starting to think it might be fun to host conversational "salons" for some of my better students, to both broaden their intellectual horizons and introduce them to a new level of socializing and the manners that go with it.

Batgrrrl (oh, and for the record I study and teach Victorian literature, so I'm perhaps more than normally fascinated by codes of manners )

[Tam]

...  The group has a longstanding rule of "no double dipping", however, she is new and obviously raised in a cave.  So, she proceeds to double dip with her germ-infested saliva and I quickly cease dipping....

Are you Howard Hughes' daughter? What is this business of being afraid of "double-dipping" and "germ infested saliva"? Do your dining companions all have exotic diseases that can be transmitted by "double-dipping"?

Have you never shared a common glass or bottle with friends? Or even strangers?

I think that double-dipping while ill is quite rude. Why care to share a disease? Hence the rule amongst our group. We are usually ten plus at our suppers so many cross-contaminants exist. As well, double-dipping assumes familiarityand strange dining companions have not earned that yet. Guess it is a comfort level in particular for me. I cannot recall sharing a common glass, etc with strangers. No cold sores yet so I consider that success.

[SobaAddict70]

Batgrrrl,

Perhaps an introduction to eGullet is in order as well.

Regards,

Soba

[tryska]

...  The group has a longstanding rule of "no double dipping", however, she is new and obviously raised in a cave.  So, she proceeds to double dip with her germ-infested saliva and I quickly cease dipping....

Are you Howard Hughes' daughter? What is this business of being afraid of "double-dipping" and "germ infested saliva"? Do your dining companions all have exotic diseases that can be transmitted by "double-dipping"?

Have you never shared a common glass or bottle with friends? Or even strangers?

I think that double-dipping while ill is quite rude. Why care to share a disease? Hence the rule amongst our group. We are usually ten plus at our suppers so many cross-contaminants exist. As well, double-dipping assumes familiarityand strange dining companions have not earned that yet. Guess it is a comfort level in particular for me. I cannot recall sharing a common glass, etc with strangers. No cold sores yet so I consider that success.

you know...i had never heard of doubledipping or "backwash" until i was in college. it just dawned on me, that it's because eating off of a communal plate or bowl or whatever is sort of taboo in Indian culture, and therefore i was never exposed to these etiquette rules.

Edited October 31, 2003 by tryska (log)

[SobaAddict70]

What's IBS?

I take it that Mexican is out then. Or pumpkin pie. (It has spices like nutmeg.) Or Doritos. Or something like buffalo wings. Or BBQ.

God, what a boring diet.

Soba

[ronnie_suburban]

What's IBS?

IBS = Irritable Bowel Syndrome

=R=