How Much Attention is Too Much?

[DanM]

Okay. I will admit it... My daughter is really darn cute. She is a little head turner.

My wife and I occasionally go to a local Indian restaurant for Sunday brunch. there is a waiter there that gives my daughter (who is 9 months old) a lot of attention. He has stopped by our table to play with her for a couple of minutes regardless of how busy the restaurant is. We joke that he is her boyfriend. He has not crossed the line into weirdness or done anything uncomfortable. Has anyone experienced this? At what point is the attention too much?

Dan

Edited November 8, 2010 by DanM (log)

[helenjp]

Who can say without witnessing the event, but I think you should consider the possibility that you are sending out some mixed messages yourselves to waiting staff (understandable - parents do inevitably want to both show off and protect their small children). I raise this point because I note that you are posting on a public forum about possibly excessive attention to your infant daughter...along with a LARGE photo of the child.

[prasantrin]

This doesn't really have anything to do with restaurants, but you have to remember that some cultures have a much more casual relationship with other people's children. It's no big deal to offer to carry a stranger's child or even to scold another person's child without fear of consequences from the parents. If you don't want them oogling your child, stay away from their restaurant, and you may want to stay away from any kind of restaurant owned/operated by people from similar cultures (don't bother with Filipino places, for example, and possibly Malaysian).

[Lilija]

We used to frequent a diner, and there was a waiter there who fawned over my son, when he was an infant, much the same way. Even when we weren't in his area, or like you said, if they were busy. He was extra tuned in to our "eating with a baby" needs, too. One day, I commented to him that he's really good with kids. I mean, we thought the attention was pleasant, he was nice to chat with, and all. He said "I work two jobs, and I have a son the exact same age, I hardly see him." So...maybe your waiter has a background story?

[jesteinf]

I'd be more concerned about posting your child's picture on the internet than some extra attention from a waiter in a restaurant.

[azmilsyahmi]

I work as a senior member in a restaurant. I like to be friendly with the guest children. Most parents love you dotting over their children and if the restaurant is child friendly they will return. That is what I train my team to do. But I also train them to observe the parents body language as some parents don't like the attention. I like serving kids cause they don't have any racial issue. To them everyone is the same. Its easier to please most of them than some adults. So I agree with Lilija maybe he misses his kids or maybe he is having a bad day and he needs to take his mind of what happens. In this industry nowadays we get a lot of pain in the #### customers. So when a cute kid come along, seeing he/her smile really makes our day. It really works for me .

Delivery Great Customer Service

[pastameshugana]

Agreed with most of the above. I'd add that in the 2.5 years we lived in India with our three kids (now four) the waiters and general populace were *MUCH* more friendly with the kids than we were often comfortable with. It was no issue for them to touch them, their faces, try to pick them up - etc. I had one waiter lead my daughter away from the table at the Hard Rock Bangalore (we were a big crowd) and he and the two managers got more than an earful from me.

I've had waiters try to intervene when I scolded one of my children, and all sorts of mind-bending stories in our time there!

So - I would add that there may be a cultural thing also happening.