Get Over it!

[CaliPoutine]

While I'm sure it's true that some people dislike some foods because they've never had them prepared well, it's not always the case. For instance, I've always hated blue cheese of any kind -- Roquefort, Stilton, Gorgonzola, Danish blue -- if it's blue, it makes me gag (literally). I often hear, "Oh, but if you had it this way, you'd like it" and I can say, with absolute confidence, "No, I wouldn't." (Incidentally, the last time I inadvertently tried it was at Alinea, and I figure if they couldn't make it palatable, no one can.)

So don't always assume that you can change someone's mind with a new preparation.

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I'll second that. I hate any type of blue cheese as well. I've tried it in salads, madeinto macaroni and cheese, and on sandwiches. No thanks!! NO way, NO how. I dont like, never have, never will!!

[cathrynapple]

I have the opposite problem, in a way. My guy will never, ever day he dislikes a food. Ask him if he likes any food at all, and his answer is always, "if it's good."

I suppose I should be glad, but it's a lot of pressure!

Sister and brother in-law hate anything "from the water." Recently I've developed a theory that the girl has just taken on her husband's immature tastes over the years to please him.

We've started having her try stuff when he's not around. It's weird to see someone secretly enjoying crawfish and oysters and crab, and then downplaying her enjoyment level as soon as he enters the room.

I'd say that's an unhealthy relationship.

[mizducky]

Brussels spouts are another one.  My husband hated them until he tasted mine.  I learned from my English dad, Ted Fairhead.  Steamed until almost tender, cut in half and sauteed in butter.  Mr. Kim's mom had always boiled them to death.  Now she cooks them like us!

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I succeeded in getting a former partner, whose Midwestern mother boiled all vegetables to death, to actually say she liked brussels sprouts by presenting them gently cooked and dressed in a maple syrup/mustard vinaigrette. The vinaigrette does not so much mask the sprouts' flavor as complement their "nutty" undertones. Ex-partner admitted that the sprouts were not ever going to become her favorites, but now at least she knew they did not have to suck.

These days, I'm continually working to expand Mr. E's extremely narrow food preferences, mainly by presenting various fresh foods cooked pleasantly. He's another one whose mother apparently was a very poor and limited cook, to the point that when I arrived on the scene it was easier to enumerate the foods he would eat than the bazillions of foods he was convinced he disliked. Since his very short "likes" list included almost no vegetables, I had to do something if for no other reason than to keep me from dying of boredom in the kitchen, let alone keeping E. properly nourished.

My main strategy is to present these envelope-pushing dishes as an option, not a compulsory event. I usually say something like "okay, this is an experiment. If this dish doesn't agree with you, that's totally okay, you can eat the other stuff instead, and the experiment won't go to waste because I'll eat it." Using this no-pressure approach, I've actually gotten him to try eggplant and zucchini, two vegetables he swore he detested; almost always, when he finally gets over his hesitancy and tastes the "detested" food properly cooked, he finds it much less objectionable than he'd previously imagined.

I also don't give up after a single refusal. I've discovered E's tastes are capricious: there's been numerous instances where we've had conversations like: "Ellen, why don't you ever cook (food X)?" "Um, because you told me you didn't like it." "When did I say that?" "Um, just a few weeks after I moved in with you." "Oh really? I don't know why I said that -- I like [Food X]!" The first few times this happened sorely tempted me to emit an "AUUUUURRRRRGGGG!!!" that would have done any Peanuts character proud, but eventually I not only got over it, but learned to take any and all of E's announced food preferences with several grains of salt.

Mind you, though, I consider these kinds of self-persuaded food preferences a whole separate kettle of fish from actual allergies and other health-hazard based dietary needs. For instance, since E is on Lipitor, I would never dream of bringing grapefruits or grapefruit juice into the house, as there is a chemical in grapefruits that interacts with that med.

Further, if the person has given the food item a good-faith effort in a variety of settings and it just doesn't click for them, I let it go--harping on it after that just gets tiresome to all concerned, and it's not necessary for everyone to like everything. And personally I'm against "tricking" people into eating things (by hiding it, by telling them it's something else, by any other method that plays fast-and-loose with the truth). I just don't like the idea of messing with people's heads that way. Cooking for someone is IMO an act of love and trust, a trust I don't care to violate.

So there are some food boundaries of E's I will not challenge. He's dead-set against even the slightest spice-heat in his food, a preference confirmed over many instances that I've witnessed. Even black pepper can put him off, I have discovered. So I watch it with the seasonings now. I've discovered he's okay with milder seasonings, like garlic, ginger, and herbs, so it's not like I'm making super-bland food for him. But I do keep my hot-sauce bottle at my place at the table, to heat up my own portions as desired.

[austramerica]

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I've been sorely tempted to crochet a scarf out of dog fur for my sister in law, because of the very reasons you describe.

That said, my husband's aunt thought my non-dramatic and very un-problematic husband was faking his soy allergy. She made him deviled eggs with soy mayonaise. On the bright side, she offered to pay the hospital bill. So it's probably not a plan of attack for everyone

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[Ndy]

I was inspired by the success stories in the "Food Neuroses" Topic to start a thread on this.

How did you help someone get over hating a certain food, type of food, etc.?

I've found that its often just that they had bad preperations. My poor boyfriend comes from Indiana and insisted he hated Chinese food. Living in Seattle, this was going to be a problem. Come to find out he had only ever had mall buffet Chinese food. That was an easy one. What else? I can't wait to hear sneaky stories!

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Firstly there is nothing you can do to make someone “like” food. As a case in point I went t India with my mother (who had been in the Peace Corps there) and my father. I was thee. He was a bit older. Since we were traveling the back roads, visiting her friends, my mother made sure that I would not “hate” any food. It was what was what your host put in front of you or nothing. Because there was NOTHING ELSE. These people had taken food out of the mouths of their children to feed you so you better…

My poor dad HATED the food. He smuggled in Slim Jims so he wouldn’t collapse on the street. I had my epicurean epiphany.

I think that if you keep eating something in front of someone with visible enjoyment, you can hope they jump on the band wagon. For the love of god, hope they don’t jump on “the wagon” as well.

Or if you want to get nasty (children excluded) make them feel like shit for being a neophobe. Make sure they know all the "cool" kids are doing it. Uni is awsome. Cucumbers are what built the British empire. And there is no sex until they get over the "allergy" to raw onions and kimchi.

So that is my advice. If somebody hates olives, anchovies, and garlic… take them to Sicily. Degrade and humiliate them. Make it their mission to expand their palate. But when it comes down to it. It’s food or starvation.

If not they can write a diet book.

Maybe not subtle, but it works.

Sometimes.

If not...

You will have a very skinny lover. (children excluded)

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Excellent post. This strategy doesn't work so well with parents however...

[Toliver]

My Mum, who prides herself on "eating what [she] is given" hates cauliflower, because it reminds her of when she was younger and they used to eat their own caulis out of the garden. There were a lot of caterpillars involved....now the smell of cauli cooking puts her off. I sneak it in things that have lots of other flavours, and she says she doesn't mind as long as it isn't huge pieces that she can really smell and taste!

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Jenni, you should try making Roasted Cauliflower ("Roasted Cauliflower, Tastes like French Fries") for her. It could convert her.

[andiesenji]

While I'm sure it's true that some people dislike some foods because they've never had them prepared well, it's not always the case. For instance, I've always hated blue cheese of any kind -- Roquefort, Stilton, Gorgonzola, Danish blue -- if it's blue, it makes me gag (literally). I often hear, "Oh, but if you had it this way, you'd like it" and I can say, with absolute confidence, "No, I wouldn't." (Incidentally, the last time I inadvertently tried it was at Alinea, and I figure if they couldn't make it palatable, no one can.)

So don't always assume that you can change someone's mind with a new preparation.

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Has anyone ever tried to sneak some white stilton past your barriers?

[andiesenji]

On the day that they are supposed to come, I cooked my broth -- with all the things that he said he doesn't like in it.  Then I sieved it all so it'll look like clear broth. I serve that clear soup with just one meatball in the centre. He had it, he think it was the ant's pants!!! He loved it. I did not say anything to anyone. I was waiting for him to fall down dead in front of me practically, as Mike, the other guy said that if he eat something bad for him, he is known to just collapse. Well...dinner happened, chit-chat in front of the tv, etc., before going to bed. I was awake almost all night from what I did!!! Nothing happened...in fact he was even able to attend the seminar they needed to attend here in Missouri (they are from Florida).

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I've been sorely tempted to crochet a scarf out of dog fur for my sister in law, because of the very reasons you describe.

That said, my husband's aunt thought my non-dramatic and very un-problematic husband was faking his soy allergy. She made him deviled eggs with soy mayonaise. On the bright side, she offered to pay the hospital bill. So it's probably not a plan of attack for everyone

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And I have a trach scar because someone did not believe that I actually was allergic to shrimp. When I began developing hives, scratching and wheezing, she admitted she used shrimp paste in one of the dishes while my real friends were dialing 911!

[MissAmy]

Doing what MizDucky suggested works really well for those who are at least willing to try. Saturday night, I roasted asparagus to have with a lot of other things. My roommate was trepidatious - she's never had asparagus before (how is that possible, I ask you?) and was afraid she wouldn't like it. She took three or four spears, making no promises. Everyone had tucked in to their food, and I look up to find roommie grabbing more asparagus! And more and more. She ate FAR more than her fair share, and last night asked, "So, when do you think you'll make that asparagus again?"

Sometimes new things just need to be presented in a non-threatening, unintimidating manner, with other options present. It seems to be the best approach, in my opinion. The next thing we'll tackle will be beets.

[austramerica]

The World According to Women

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say its not quite as good as his mothers

...then buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want ..

...then buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies. ..

...then buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores ...

...then buy a dog!

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually ...

...then buy a dog.

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness .,

...then buy a cat!

Now be honest, you thought I was gonna say... marry a man, didn't you?

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now...

I never looked at it this way before:

MEN tal illness

MEN strual cramps

MEN tal breakdown

MEN opause

GUY necologist

AND

When we have REAL trouble, it's a

HIS terectomy

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

Note: This is just a tongue-in-cheek joke...so please don't shoot the messenger...

austramerica