Family Restaurant Hell

[pjackso]

My wife and I always enjoy heading off to a new city, staying in beautiful boutique hotels and eating in wonderful restaurants. But when presented with the challenges of a family vacation I always dread the "Family Restaurant" On a recent trip to an amusement park about 2 1/2 hours from our home we ate at a place called The Holmstead Restaurant just outside a quaint little town called Annapolis Royal in Nova Scotia, Canada. I had the ribs (I know, one should never order ribs in a family joint...but I did) my wife had a hot turkey sandwich and the kids had hotdogs. The food was so unspeakably dreadful we could hardly stand to look at it let alone eat it.

And that's my question - why does this have to be so bad?

And is there a palatable alternative out there?

Any stories to share?

Edited September 4, 2006 by pjackso (log)

[Andrew Fenton]

I'm afraid I don't really know what a "family restaurant" is: do you mean a restaurant run by a family? Or one that welcomes families as its clientele?

Either one could be good, and I've had fine meals at both types of places. It sounds like your experience could have been improved by some research in advance. There must be some good places to eat around Annapolis Royal, right?

[pjackso]

I mean restaurants that cater towards families that you find along the highway. They're not really the kind of places you'd research beforehand, maybe you'd ask someone locally "where's good", but I doubt you'd even find them on the net if you tried.

[Gifted Gourmet]

I understand what you're saying here ... and my own take on this would be that there are undoubtedly an equal number of good to bad ... as to having menus on the net? too small and unnecessary: locals know what to avoid by heart ... the rest of us are on our own!

In the South, we have tons of little, hole-in-the-wall "meat'n'threes" ... and, I rather imagine, there are many both good and awful ...

[hungryCAT]

Like Shoney's, Denny's, Perkins ?? That type of thing?

[Gifted Gourmet]

Like Shoney's, Denny's, Perkins ??  That type of thing?

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To name the worst of the family restaurants ...

You missed Cracker Barrel and Bob Evans (which is actually rather good..) and Golden Corral ...

Edited September 4, 2006 by Gifted Gourmet (log)

[pjackso]

No, I'm talking about the non-franchise type.

[Gifted Gourmet]

No, I'm talking about the non-franchise type.

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Then we have to return to the concept of those "meat'n'threes" .. which fill the bill for families ...thread is right here ... .. very much a "family restaurant" ...

[bergerka]

Oh, lordy, yes.

On one family trip from Phoenix, AZ to San Diego, CA, we stopped in the middle of the desert somewhere at a "family" restaurant, not a chain, although the name now escapes me.

I have never in my life had food that awful.

Not before, not since. The FRIED CHICKEN WAS INEDIBLE. Do you know how bad fried chicken has to be before I won't eat it? I distinctly recall this chicken smelling...BAD. Do you know how bad fried chicken has to be to SMELL bad?

Maybe it was the oil they were frying in, maybe it was old chicken. Whatever it was, it was nasty.

For the record, I wouldn't precisely call all of them meat-and-threes, but the family oriented chains ARE based around them.

K

Edited September 4, 2006 by bergerka (log)

[highchef]

Wow, what timing. I just got back from Houston today and stopped before we crossed the state line. I had 5 starving boys in the back of my car, bitching and moaning how hungry they were. We pulled into a Joe's crab shack after conferring with the cars ahead of us cause that's where they were going.

I have never had, smelled, seen or heard of anything this bad before. When the crab cakes appetizers came out half the table fled from the smell. Apparently they tried to use spoiled crabmeat doctored with copious amounts of hot pepper for them. I mean, you could smell that the crab was bad before the dish hit the table. Did they really think we'd try to eat that crap?? The fish taco's tasted like I'd imagine whale blubber would taste. The boys all left 3/4 of their meal on the plates. The only thing that I could see (from 12 orders) that was actually eaten was the fried cheese.

It was, without a doubt, the most godawful experience I have ever had in a resturant with the exception of the food poisoning I got from a place outside of Dublin. I learned this is a chain, and apparently pretty popular along the coast. I cannot see how. Crab is supposed to be their main deal and they serve up something a roach wouldn't eat??

I came home and heated a burritto I found in the fridge.

[Holly Moore]

I always check out the parking lot, calculating the pick-up truck to minivan ratio. Anything less than three to one and I drive on by.

[pjackso]

I always check out the parking lot, calculating the pick-up truck to minivan ratio.  Anything less than three to one and I drive on by.

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Nice...I'll have to remember that one.

[Jaymes]

I'm afraid I don't really know what a "family restaurant" is: do you mean a restaurant run by a family?  Or one that welcomes families as its clientele? 

Either one could be good, and I've had fine meals at both types of places.  It sounds like your experience could have been improved by some research in advance.  There must be some good places to eat around Annapolis Royal, right?

I believe in your neck o' the woods they call them 'diners.'

My son and his wife and two kids moved out to San Jose, CA, a while back. Son told me that they were having a hard time finding a neighborhood diner where the family could go for a good breakfast, or casual and affordable home-style dinner with the kids. Even though they had asked around, nobody knew of any.

But then, a year later, he called me with the news. They had found the restaurants they had been searching for.

"We finally figured out," he said triumphantly, "that out here they call them 'family restaurants.'"

[Andrew Fenton]

I believe in your neck o' the woods they call them 'diners.'

That makes sense, and sounded like where the discussion was aiming. Thanks!

Anyway, I can't think of any horrible diner/family restaurant/meat n' three meals. Plenty of mediocre ones, where the food is edible, just not all that great.

But I admit, I tend to take two kinds of road trips. Either I plan out the route carefully, trying to plot in advance the places where I'll eat, often sacrificing speed to do so. Or I'll be in a big ol' hurry to get where I'm going, and wind up eating right next to the interstate, at the Waffle House (if I'm lucky) or Denny's (less lucky), sacrificing gustatory pleasure for the pleasure of getting moving again.

In either case, I minimize the chance of a really lousy meal. Unfortunately, I also minimize the chance of serendipity...

[Mel Altenderfer]

You might consult the guides and forums at www.roadfood.com. They specialize in finding the best non-chain "roadfood" in the USA. Also, check www.thesplendidtable.org and check the recommendations of Jane & Michael Stern.

Life's too short to eat at Olive Garden!

[jsmeeker]

You might consult the guides and forums at www.roadfood.com. They specialize in finding the best non-chain "roadfood" in the USA.

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Interesting site. Too bad there is no way to search based on route (i.e. the roads you are taking). There ARE maps available that have all of the places marked, but you have to pay $20 per year to get it.

I don't do many road trips, but it would be interesting to see what it came up with for a trip I HAVE taken in the past. For example, Dallas to Lubbock.

[Jaymes]

Interesting site. Too bad there is no way to search based on route (i.e. the roads you are taking).  There ARE maps available that have all of the places marked, but you have to pay $20 per year to get it. 

Not sure I understand your post. "Too bad there is no way to search based on route..."

Yes there is. As you go on to point out.

The only thing listed on the route from Dallas to Lubbock is in Ft. Worth.

[suseyblue]

I painfully discovered (in my limited travels) that Cracker Barrel, outside of my local area (where it originated), sucks. A Cracker Barrel is only as good as its Biscuits. I'm sorry for those who have never had a proper middle-upper TN Cracker Barrel meal.

I was disappointed when they stopped making their excellent scratch spinach salad dressing & went to some pkg'd HFCS inedible goo, though. The bacon is very nice, & the corn muffins (still made with the grease, unlike the sadly missed dressing) reflect that.

They make a decent (blueberry, especially) pancake, too. Come to think of it, I cautiously had a midnight just-out-of-Birmingham Denny's pancake recently too (ps don't eat the sausage), & it was not bad at all; fresh, eggy, malty, & could've been excellent with a side of Cracker Barrel's butter & real maple syrup.

Speaking of bad family fare, this was a memorably awful buffet: Smokehouse Lodge, Monteagle TN

http://www.onetravelsource.com/10192468.html

Green beans from a can. Says it all, don't it?

[Andrew Fenton]

Interesting site. Too bad there is no way to search based on route (i.e. the roads you are taking).  There ARE maps available that have all of the places marked, but you have to pay $20 per year to get it. 

Not sure I understand your post. "Too bad there is no way to search based on route..."

Yes there is. As you go on to point out.

But it's not free, right?

[Andrew Fenton]

I always check out the parking lot, calculating the pick-up truck to minivan ratio.  Anything less than three to one and I drive on by.

Speaking of planning: Holly is too modest to toot his own horn. But for those areas of the country where he's traveled, you won't find a better guide than his website.

[Gigi4808]

Having done the cross country move via U-Haul on several occasions and having each one of them be a 'beat the clock' type of exsperince there is some truely scary food lining the highways and byways.

I didn't have the luxery of time to venture too far off the road so meals were planned by highway signs. The best lessions I learned are:

Cracker Barrels in the south are about the best thing you could ask for. The Rainbow trout is extremly good (and not fried!) and the bacon is so good it is worth the trip alone. HOWEVER theCracker Barrels in the North, East and the West tend to be vile, but if you are in a pinch in the very least you can get a good BLT at any of them.

Flying J Truckstops. They are huge, the bathrooms are always clean and they have a fairly well stocked convenience store. They normally have hot food coutners with pizza and chicken- either of which I have never tried. They also have sit down resteruants. Don't expect anything fancy but it is possible to get a decent burger, breakfast items and a surprisingly good chicken fried steak. The prices are also in line with Denny's and it's ilk.

I admit that I stay away from the family places on trips like this. Mostly because I have never once had a good meal at one of them. At least with a Cracker Berrel or even a Denny's I know what to expect.

[jsmeeker]

Interesting site. Too bad there is no way to search based on route (i.e. the roads you are taking).  There ARE maps available that have all of the places marked, but you have to pay $20 per year to get it. 

Not sure I understand your post. "Too bad there is no way to search based on route..."

Yes there is. As you go on to point out.

The only thing listed on the route from Dallas to Lubbock is in Ft. Worth.

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It costs money to get the maps, and there really is no convenient way to figure out if any of the places you can see on-line are actually along your route of travel. If you poke around in your state or a state you are familar with, you'll notice that some places don't really meet one important definition of "road food". Close to the highway. What I'd like to see is to combine route planning with an option that says how far you are willing to deviate from that route to get to a place (i.e. 1 mile, 2 miles, etc.) That would make it more useful.

[Jaymes]

Interesting site. Too bad there is no way to search based on route (i.e. the roads you are taking).  There ARE maps available that have all of the places marked, but you have to pay $20 per year to get it. 

Not sure I understand your post. "Too bad there is no way to search based on route..."

Yes there is. As you go on to point out.

It costs money to get the maps, and there really is no convenient way to figure out if any of the places you can see on-line are actually along your route of travel. If you poke around in your state or a state you are familar with, you'll notice that some places don't really meet one important definition of "road food". Close to the highway. What I'd like to see is to combine route planning with an option that says how far you are willing to deviate from that route to get to a place (i.e. 1 mile, 2 miles, etc.) That would make it more useful.

Yes, it costs money, but I find the site very easy to navigate, the maps extremely useful, the information helpful. After you click on one location along your way, a local map pops up that clearly shows the location and how far it is from the highway in question.

Often, while I'm driving along, I'll call my children, one of whom seems always to be sitting at their computer, and ask them to find me something on the road ahead.

I've subscribed for several years and, for me anyway, $20 per year is easily worth it.

[Jaymes]

Flying J Truckstops. They are huge, the bathrooms are always clean and they have a fairly well stocked convenience store. They normally have hot food coutners with pizza and chicken- either of which I have never tried. They also have sit down resteruants. Don't expect anything fancy but it is possible to get a decent burger, breakfast items and a surprisingly good chicken fried steak. The prices are also in line with Denny's and its ilk.

And enough comfort food to fill up even the hungriest trucker.

But they allow smoking, which most of the truckers seem to do, so the air is always extremely unpleasant, which is why I never stop there.

In case that matters to any of you folks reading along, be forewarned.

[Kent D]

Well, since this thread's in Adventures in Eating, I'll forego the cracks taken at minivans and Cracker Barrel (which despite being a chain always seems to feed my family well at a reasonable price, and my wife happens to like their carrot cake), and just say that finding a good non-chain family restaurant is a crapshoot no matter where you are. Most of them don't have a web presence that can be easily researched outside of sites like this and roadfood.com, and if you ask locally, you will likely be referred to whatever chain restaurant is nearby.

We were vacationing in Branson, MO, last weekend for Labor Day (not something I'll do again soon - it makes California traffic look tame...), and we wanted to avoid the chains and "all-you-can-eat" buffets which clog Branson like a syringe of lard to the jugular, so we just drove around...and around...and finally found this Danna's BBQ and Burgers. I figured any place with a couple Highway Patrol cars parked there had to be good, right?

And it was good, incredibly good. My daughters both finished off their patty melts (on Jewish Rye, with sauteed onions, swiss cheese, and thousand island dressing)

my wife had a well-made 1/3 lb burger with onion rings, and I had the most tender pulled-pork sandwich I have ever eaten, smoky and rich with piggy goodness. After I got home, I did some research and found a couple published reviews on-line that called it the best pulled pork in the Ozarks. I wouldn't dispute that claim.

But if you're just passing through a city, without local knowledge and resources, you're always going to be at the mercy of whatever's located within sight of the interstate. But after all, traveling is an adventure, and what doesn't kill you or make you deathly ill makes for an amusing anectdote on e-gullet, doesn't it?