Worst meal eaten in the UK so far

[Wilfrid]

Gay Hussar tried to assassinate me

Was that not a News of the World Headline?

Tee hee.

And, Matthew, the Lindsay House experience - which I presume was the Soho restaurant - was that pre-Corrigan?

(Incidentally, if the thread was restricted to this year, strike my earlier post - I haven't been that unlucky!)

[circeplum]

Is Lindsay House the one in Dulwich or environs, which is owned by a guy who lives upstairs?

i think that's belair house?

my worst meal wasn't high end, it was at the holiday inn in nottingham where i was compelled to stay for business reasons. i ordered a thai green curry thinking it would come from a ready-mix and therefore be vaguely edible.

wrong.

it was like eating washing-up-liquid-flavoured snot.

[macrosan]

I have just had the worst meal of any kind I've ever had in my life anywhere in the world Actually, on reflection, it may have been worse than that.

Bertorelli at 11 Frith Street, W1 folks. Remember the name, and shudder.

OK so it wasn't a proper meal, I just had 40 minutes for a quick lunch, but even in that context my experience was horrific.

I told the waitress I was in a hurry, ordered a glass of Chianti and Spaghetti with mushroom and cream sauce. Sounded easy enough to me After 15 minutes, I had to chase the waitress (she was one of two waitstaff serving about 20 tables) through the restaurant to ask where my wine was. "Ooops" she said, not a hint of apology, then 5 minutes later she put it on my table as she walked by. I then discovered she'd made a mistake, and I'd been given a glass of poor quality vinegar for £4.25.

Two minutes later, the floor manager (I think) presented me with a plate of spaghetti. This was appalling. Square cut, cheap, tasteless pasta, undercooked, half of it with the yellow hardened skin it had got by being kept under a grill for several minutes to keep it warm. The mushroom and cream sauce contained small pieces of maybe two small mushrooms in floury, tastelss, runny whitish sauce.

I left half of the wine and half of the spaghetti. I asked for the bill after spending 5 minutes trying to attract someone's attention. At least I utilised that time eating two packs of grissini, which were quite good. The floor manager collected my half full plate and half full glass from the table without comment.

To my eternal shame I didn't complain (I honestly did have a meeting to get to) but as I left I asked the receptionist (yes, they have one of those at the entrance) how long they'd been open. "Just over a month" she replied. "I don't think you'll make two months" I said as I disappeared up the road. Cheap shot at the wrong person, I know, but life's too short.

[Kikujiro]

I thought Bertorelli on Frith St had been open for ages. Certainly more than a month. It's listed in my 2002 Time Out Eating & Drinking guide, published 2001.

[macrosan]

The place looked very new - that's why I asked. Even the cutlery was pristine. Maybe they had a makeover, and that's what she meant. Or maybe she gets so many complaints that she tries to excuse the problems by pretending they've just opened.

[stellabella]

I would rather pour acid over my testes

oh, wait, simon, let me do that for you, hon

thought i'd jump in here because the first full day in london my husband's program dragged us to old orleans restaurant and then the lion king and to say the least this is a night i wish to forget, and mostly have, but i still can't imagine a restaurant placing before anyone utterly inedibale food, which is what happened to me. and i was so hungry i cried, held captive by a pack of philistines who were ordering drinks with umbrellas and "ribs" and all other sorts of pretend foods.

sniff

[horton]

The Robin Hood on King Street, W6, is truly awful. A step back in time to the late 70's early 80's. Imagine a Robin's Nest style restaurant in the 21st Century. A prawn cocktail ahd frozen seafood and limp lettuce, mixed grill could have been from a motorway service station and the prices are not dissimilar!

The food is meant to be Irish but the menu only has tentative connections. For pure entertainment value it is worth a visit.

[mogsob]

Upon reflection, my worst meal was at L'Artisian bistro in Shepherd's Market. We had been several times as it is cheap and convenient. But this time the wine was warm, it took almost an hour to get our food (which was far below par) and almost 20 minutes to get the check. We haven't been back.

Post-script: I can't stand being ignored at restaurants, particularly when I ask for the bill. I now have a new strategy -- I ask for the bill and if it is not brought within 10 minutes, I leave without paying. Sometimes they run after me (giving me a chance to scold them for ignoring me) and sometimes they don't (giving me a free meal).

[StephenT]

thought i'd jump in here because the first full day in london my husband's program dragged us to old orleans restaurant

Ah, Old Orleans. Would have to be my least favourite place of the year so far too. I have been there a few times in the past with people from work after having spent too much time in the pub. The attraction was that it was always easy to get a table there (not surprisingly) and we were usually too drunk to care what we ate.

Then we went there for lunch one fateful day and I realised how bad it actually was. Next time someone mentioned it I remember saying in a loud voice "I'm never going there sober again".

[macrosan]

I can't stand being ignored at restaurants, particularly when I ask for the bill.  I now have a new strategy -- I ask for the bill and if it is not brought within 10 minutes, I leave without paying.  Sometimes they run after me (giving me a chance to scold them for ignoring me) and sometimes they don't (giving me a free meal).

I always wished I had the nerve to do this. I have frequently stood up and pretended I was leaving, in the hope that this would cause the bill to appear, but never actually left the premises.

I'm sure you know this, Mog, but you are committing a criminal offence in that you are fulfilling the intention of not paying (willingness would be legally equated with intent). I know how irritating it is to wait ages for a bill to arrive, but I wouldn't like to see you in court for it

[Tonyfinch]

Totally opposite problem at Caravaggio in Leadenhall St. last night. By no means the worst meal was spoiled by ridiculously fast service. Maybe they're attuned to a City lunchtime mode but by 8pm they appeared to want everyone up and out.

There was scarcely time to settle in before pre starters,starters and mains came whizzing up in rapid succession. Wine glasses were topped up by every passing waiter.As we sat finishing our wine we were asked FOUR times whether we'd chosen from the dessert menu yet.

We ordered a plate of "mountain cheese" (£8) which skiid down the mountain and on to our table 10 seconds after being requested-a sure bet for gold at the cheese olympics.

The food was OK but this is not a cheap restaurant and it shouldn't be beyond the wit of the management to explain to the staff that people might enjoy a more leisurely pace at dinner.

Worst service of the year so far.