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Workplace Tales


SobaAddict70

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A couple of years ago when I was a legal assistant at a well-known, high-powered Wall Street law firm located in downtown Manhattan, I had to come in at 7:30 am for a client meeting.

We had breakfast ordered up from our corporate cafeteria.

Well, the clients came in and breakfast was nowhere to be found. 15 minutes later, in a panic, I called down to the cafeteria and managed to have someone bring up the trolley cart into the conference room.

Turned out that "breakfast" consisted of a platter of bagels, cream cheese and fruit. A particularly odious investment banker who I will never, ever forget, scooped up one of the bagels, exclaimed "This bagel is stale", and threw it across the room. :shock:

What would you have done?

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For the quick fix - apologize, pretend you did not see childish behavior, remove offensive food, go to (or send someone) to deli or bakery for fresh kolaches, donuts etc and charge to boss..

After meeting - make sure boss knows how ogre behaved and what the cafeteria sent up to serve his clients. Be prepared to inform him how a complaint should be made and who he/she needs to talk to as manager of cafeteria.

If you can't act fit to eat like folks, you can just set here and eat in the kitchen - Calpurnia

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Turned out that "breakfast" consisted of a platter of bagels, cream cheese and fruit.  A particularly odious investment banker who I will never, ever forget, scooped up one of the bagels, exclaimed "This bagel is stale", and threw it across the room.  :shock:

What would you have done?

Investment wankers are known for their bratty petulance. In Liar's Poker: Rising Through the Wreckage on Wall Street, Michael Lewis described bankers as "(A) jungle full of chest-pounding males."

Had I been in possession of a winning Lotto ticket, I would have retrieved said stale bagel and hurled at the banker's head, shouting, "Take that, you overdressed fool!" Sans ticket, however, I probably just would have stared at the ill-mannered fool, shaken my head and left the room.

There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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Turned out that "breakfast" consisted of a platter of bagels, cream cheese and fruit.  A particularly odious investment banker who I will never, ever forget, scooped up one of the bagels, exclaimed "This bagel is stale", and threw it across the room.  :shock:

What would you have done?

I would have walked over and said, "Excuse me," as I picked the stale bagle off the floor and then deposited it into the wastebasket. Then, I would have went back to my chair and sat down as if nothing had ever happened. I would not have apologized to him, but just went back to business as usual.

Rhonda

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Did I mention that he was a vegetarian? :huh:

Here's another:

Back before the Internet bubble burst, it would be routine to go to financial printers such as Bowne or RR Donnelley for all-night sessions drafting things like registration statements and prospectuses for filing with the SEC.

One particular night, we ended up staying until 5 am. Dinner was usually charged to the client. Now, some of you need to know that printers assignments were especially sought after because of the quality of food you'd get. Things like steak, lobster, filet mignon. One printer, I can't remember which one, even had an ice cream bar.

Anyway, we ordered Chinese takeout. There was a lawyer who I've all but forgotten -- well anyway, except when I think of this episode -- who ordered a dish of General Tso's chicken, some shrimp in wine sauce and vegetable medley...all for herself. A number of us exchanged looks, even after we asked her if she meant to share. :shock:

Feel free to contribute. We'd love to hear from you!

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While telling tales of high-powered investment bankers behaving badly can sell books and create a feeling of superiority to such animals among the readers of such literature, it is a fact that most investment bankers who rise to any level at all of power within the workplace are not badly behaved.

Their clients would not put up with it as such behavior can obviously make people uncomfortable and the deals would start falling through.

There might be a rare enfant terrible who pulls this sort of prank (and who will get away with it as long as whatever genius is shown is still pulling in the money hand over fist) but they will not usually get away with it forever and continue to prosper in the structure of the corporation.

Now LAWYERS may be a different subject.

Wherever they are, who knows what might happen.

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I used to work with a woman who would wander the halls of our building looking for food. Sure, she had some serious issues but had the nose of a bloodhound. She could walk into a department, take one whiff and could start listing the foods in the room. She could even smell the difference between a jelly doughnut and a glazed doughnut at 50 paces without even seeing them. It was freaky, to say the least. :blink:

Then there was the time my workplace started a special spanish-language project and invited local hispanic dignitaries to a launch party and served them all Mexican food. Rice, beans, tacos and enchiladas.

"Gee, that's what 'they' eat, isn't it?" :hmmm:

 

“Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.”

– From Fox TV’s “Family Guy”

 

Tim Oliver

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Then there was the time my workplace started a special Spanish-language project and invited local hispanic dignitaries to a launch party and served them all Mexican food.  Rice, beans, tacos and enchiladas.

"Gee, that's what 'they' eat, isn't it?"  :hmmm:

I hope the food was catered by Taco Bell. :shock:

There are two sides to every story and one side to a Möbius band.

borschtbelt.blogspot.com

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Turned out that "breakfast" consisted of a platter of bagels, cream cheese and fruit.  A particularly odious investment banker who I will never, ever forget, scooped up one of the bagels, exclaimed "This bagel is stale", and threw it across the room.  :shock:

What would you have done?

Picked up the bagel, put it on a plate, placed it in front of him as said, "...I'm sure this just slipped out of your hand, would you want some cream cheese or jelly with that."

Rich Schulhoff

Opinions are like friends, everyone has some but what matters is how you respect them!

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Turned out that "breakfast" consisted of a platter of bagels, cream cheese and fruit.  A particularly odious investment banker who I will never, ever forget, scooped up one of the bagels, exclaimed "This bagel is stale", and threw it across the room.  :shock:

What would you have done?

Said, "If the melon is too hard, we're all in trouble."

Or, "That's a new type of bagel that's a bit harder on the outside than the usual bagel. Our cafeteria is on the cutting edge of culinary trends!"

Or, "Now that the wall has had a snack, how about the rest of us?"

Well, actually my response probably would have been tailored to the situation. If the bagels were an error on the cafeteria's part (for example, if you were expecting an egg dish and suspect the stale bagels were an attempt for the cafeteria to cover their mistake) I would have done what Lone Star suggested and sent someone for fresh food.

If I didn't think it was an error on the cafeteria's part, I would have just ignored him and invited everyone else to have something to eat. Afterwards, I would have talked to my boss to figure out what to do the next time that guy was expected for a meeting that involved food -- or suggested that the boss not set meetings with this guy around a mealtime.

TPO (Tammy) 

The Practical Pantry

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I think I would have to fall back on my military customs and courtesies and say, "Sir, with all due respect, you are an A-hole."

I always attempt to have the ratio of my intelligence to weight ratio be greater than one. But, I am from the midwest. I am sure you can now understand my life's conundrum.

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While telling tales of high-powered investment bankers behaving badly can sell books and create a feeling of superiority to such animals among the readers of such literature, it is a fact that most investment bankers who rise to any level at all of power within the workplace are not badly behaved.

Their clients would not put up with it as such behavior can obviously make people uncomfortable and the deals would start falling through.

Having dealt with all sorts of 'enfant-terribles' in the corporate world, I can say that this behavior isn't limited to investment bankers. And, while it is nice to think that "the client won't put up with that" it is more often the case that these wankers do NOT display this type of behavior toward their clients, they save it for the underlings and other powerless people who cannot affect their rise to stardom.

I'm not sure what I would have done. Probably ignored him. Or said 'why yes, indeed they are' and thrown one in his general direction.

Born Free, Now Expensive

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Having dealt with all sorts of 'enfant-terribles' in the corporate world, I can say that this behavior isn't limited to investment bankers. And, while it is nice to think that "the client won't put up with that" it is more often the case that these wankers do NOT display this type of behavior toward their clients, they save it for the underlings and other powerless people who cannot affect their rise to stardom.

The behavior exists, for sure.

And you will find Dr. Jekylls and Mr. Hydes (or Ms. Hydes as the case may be) in any field.

The only point I would make here is that underlings are not powerless, even in (and perhaps even moreso than in years past) the typical corporate situation.

If there is any body of people working at the place at all in any sort of hierarchy or team, getting a reputation for this sort of behavior will not pay in the long run for those that exhibit it.

What would I do? As Soba asked.

Smile nicely and curtsey to the assholes then tell everyone who was anyone or who knew anyone afterwards about the interesting scene that had occured.

Bwaaa haa haa.

Karma. Never forget the power of karma. :smile:

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I'm not sure I understand the relevance of these anecdotes in a Food Forum; However, if we were devoted to the subject of high-powered folks' "hissy-fits", it would certainly be quite appropriate. You could even substitute all the food words for "report folders" or the like.

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Perhaps you could substitute "report folders" but it would not be the exact same thing.

"Food" is not just something that is eaten or that is cooked, "period".

After our ancient ancestors slaughtered their first deer and sat around the fire chowing down upon it for mere physical sustenance, their next act was to take a hacked-off leg and offer it to their neighbor.

In this act, much of what is generally considered to be the essence of humanity was born. Sharing of sustenance. A thought and behavior process that goes beyond the mere animal instinct to something that might be considered "higher".

Today in discussions of food we call this behavior "hospitality" when discussing its larger sense, and in the smaller or more singular acts, we call it manners.

Certainly we could discuss manners or hospitality using "report folders" in an anecdotal sense, but it would not be quite the same.

Report folders are quite nice, but they do not hold within them quite the same essence as a bagel for discussion of cultural norms, sensitivities or behavior.

Therefore the anecdotes. Food is not just fodder for the stomach nor is it merely science for the mind or technique for the chopping block and hands.

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IMHO this thread really is about the boorish behavior of people in power; it demonstrates a disrespect for fellow workers in a less significant position and how to take advantage of them and act like a jerk. That's why report covers work just as well as food in this conversation.

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But is it okay with you to use food instead of report covers for purposes of this discussion?

I hope so.

Report covers don't taste as good.

And they are nowhere near as difficult to make, generally.

Nor as expensive, generally.

Nor as emotionally appealing to most folk.

Indeed, this has given me inspiration for a new sig line! Thanks!

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I used to work with a woman who would wander the halls of our building looking for food. Sure, she had some serious issues but had the nose of a bloodhound. She could walk into a department, take one whiff and could start listing the foods in the room. She could even smell the difference between a jelly doughnut and a glazed doughnut at 50 paces without even seeing them. It was freaky, to say the least. :blink:

Wow! We have a couple of those guys in my building too! They even have a code for when one of them finds something, as most departments tend to have leftovers from catered lunches, etc...

We joke with them about it, but it's serious business to them!

"What garlic is to food, insanity is to art." ~ Augustus Saint-Gaudens

The couple that eGullets together, stays together!

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Or said 'why yes, indeed they are' and thrown one in his general direction.

This is my favorite response! Classic! And there are so some people I work with who I would love to chuck a bagel at... but I probably would spread it with jelly first! :wink:

"Many people believe the names of In 'n Out and Steak 'n Shake perfectly describe the contrast in bedroom techniques between the coast and the heartland." ~Roger Ebert

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Our company used to provide free coffee in the lunchroom. One day the company president came in for some coffee and the pots were empty. Says he, "If you all can't be responsible enough to keep the pots full, then you don't deserve coffee." So he had an espresso machine installed in his office and cancelled coffee for the lunchroom.

I don't think "report covers" works as well in this instance, but, indeed, it is more about tantrum than food.

M. Thomas

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But is it okay with you to use food instead of report covers for purposes of this discussion?

I hope so.

Report covers don't taste as good.

And they are nowhere near as difficult to make, generally.

Nor as expensive, generally.

Nor as emotionally appealing to most folk.

Nor do they get stale, so the entire episode could have been averted had the bagels been replaced with report folders. I'm not sure about the nutrition profile, though I suspect they would have comprable fiber content. I think the bagel would have a slight edge in aerodynamics, though. :wink:

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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At one of our potluck lunches, one of the fine folks here made a big ol' crockpot full of sauerkraut and Amish smoked sausages. They were really delicious but about an hour after the luncheon we were all slipping outside to catch a breath of fresh air and step on some ducks. :laugh:

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A couple of years ago when I was a legal assistant at a well-known, high-powered Wall Street law firm, I had to come in at 7:30 am for a client meeting.

We had breakfast ordered up from our corporate cafeteria.

Well, the clients came in and breakfast was nowhere to be found.  15 minutes later, in a panic, I called down to the cafeteria and managed to have someone bring up the trolley cart into the conference room.

Turned out that "breakfast" consisted of a platter of bagels, cream cheese and fruit.  A particularly odious investment banker who I will never, ever forget, scooped up one of the bagels, exclaimed "This bagel is stale", and threw it across the room.  :shock:

What would you have done?

The behavior of throwing food is inexcusable in any situation.

Having said that, and as your meeting was a t 07:30. it is obvious that you failed to prepare for the meeting not only in being present well before the client but making sure that all elements related to the meeting are covered from booking the meeting room to the breakfast menu in detail.

You have been wrong footed by the client.

Your reaction should not have been to panic but to rectify and put the meeting on the correct track.

1- Take the blame and apologize

2- Take positive action and ask your "corporate cafeteria" to supply immediately what they can and make sure that what they will supply is up to standard.

3- Failure of the "corporate cafeteria" being able to supply, you should arrange your assistant or your assistant boss to immediately contact the nearest open hotel or restaurant and provide an acceptable breakfast.

4- Failing point 2 and 3, proceed with the meeting and extend an open invitation to the client to the top restaurant or hotel for a lavish breakfast at a later date.

It is not your position or responsibility to educate your client with his hideous behavior.

Whatever the case maybe, it is your personal mistake.

I cannot believe that this can happen in a high-powered Wall Street law firm as heads will roll at the cafeteria, after your head of course.

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