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Politely Turning Down Offerings @ A Picnic

Sam Salmon
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Sam Salmon

Sam Salmon

Posted
Posted (edited)

Here's the scene-tomorrow I'm invited to a picnic with some friends of a dear friend and despite my restless solitary nature I've assented.

The dilemma is that the other couple have very different taste than mine-'bland as Belgium' as I wrote in another post on another matter.I swore to god I'd never ever eat anything that woman made even again but this AM she caught me in a good mood and I said I'd go now I can't back out.

Does anyone have any funny/polite or otherwise innovative ways to decline someone's tasteless gunk?

I plan on bringing a large Prawn/Glass Noodle Salad and possible having a snack beforehand-a few glasses of Gewürztraminer or Rotberger and I'll be all set but I don't want to offend anyone.

TIA

Edited by Sam Salmon (log)
Raynickben

Raynickben

Posted
Posted

Do what kids do.

Take a little of her food and a lot of yours and after eating yours you spread her food all over the plate so it looks like you ate it.

Look for some ducks to feed.

Dump it when no one is looking behind a bush.

AmyDaniel

AmyDaniel

Posted
Posted

Say that you were famished right when you woke and just had to eat a large breakfast. A few glasses of Gewürtztraminer should go well with that (for example, if you're eating a spicy breakfast :smile: ).

Amy

Jinmyo

Jinmyo

Posted
Posted (edited)

Heap your plate with her stuff. Take a huge forkfull and put it in your mouth. Turn your head and spit it out screaming in rage and horror and throw your plate at them with deadly aim while shouting, "What did you do to this poor food you incompetant hag!!!"

edit:

Oh.

I misread.

You wanted "polite".

I have this thing where I randomly see "im" or "un" before words. I think it's these new bifocals.

Raynickben's answer is a bit more appropriate.

Edited by Jinmyo (log)

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

Sam Salmon

Sam Salmon

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted
Develop some social skills, it helps.

You won't have to whine to us about it, at least.

Sheesh.

Despite my "restless solitary nature" Sam I work in an industry that requires well honed social skills-and I excel at what I do.

The post is a joke 'Sam'-too bad you lack the basic comprehension skills to recognize it as such. :rolleyes:

Daddy-A

Daddy-A

Posted
Posted

We have friends who consider restaurants like Olive garden fine dining. Whenever they call us up to go out for dinner we're "busy", but we always call back a week later to re-book with reservations already made.

Can you make reservations at a better picnic?

DA

Jinmyo

Jinmyo

Posted
Posted
The post is a joke 'Sam'-too bad you lack the basic comprehension skills to recognize it as such. :rolleyes:

Yes, my loss.

:sad:

Sorry, Sam. Perhaps I should have used a smiley.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

origamicrane

origamicrane

Posted
Posted

here's a pretty good one for any occasion

say you are taking some medicine for some imaginary ailment

and the doctor said you not allowed to eat particular foods being offered until you finished the course of medicine.

A good one is to say its chinese herbal medicine and you not allowed to eat dairy products, red meat, shellfish, fried food, chilli food, fatty foods, etc which pretty much covers everything that could be in a picnic basket.

"so tell me how do you bone a chicken?"

"tastes so good makes you want to slap your mamma!!"

FL Heat

FL Heat

Posted
Posted

We have a friend who loooooves to entertain, but she's an awful, awful cook. When something she's made is really bad, I'll often ask for the recipe (partly because I want to see what went so wrong, partly because I feel bad for the food and want to fix it). She's flattered and I don't have to eat a whole lot of it.

Diana

Jinmyo

Jinmyo

Posted
Posted

The difficulty is in not offending and yet not lying. Best to say as little as possible about food as such. Just keep your head down and wait it out.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

Raynickben

Raynickben

Posted
Posted
We have a friend who loooooves to entertain, but she's an awful, awful cook. When something she's made is really bad, I'll often ask for the recipe (partly because I want to see what went so wrong, partly because I feel bad for the food and want to fix it). She's flattered and I don't have to eat a whole lot of it.

Diana

That's a good one Diana. But does your friend ever keep making the same thing for you every time you are over because she thinks you love it?

FL Heat

FL Heat

Posted
Posted
But does your friend ever keep making the same thing for you every time you are over because she thinks you love it?

I should have breakfast before I post so that I can complete a thought coherently. But that's another thread.

The conversation usually goes something like this:

Me, when faced with something odd: "I haven't had anything like this before, what's it called?

Her, proudly smiling: "Goop D'Awful! Isn't it great?"

Me: "You're always so original with your dishes, did this come from a recipe?"

Her: "Yes! From '31 Terrible Dishes Your Friends Will Hate'!"

Me: "Do you think I could get the recipe from you? I'd like to try this at home. And you always seem to find new things to make, that's what is so great about coming over here to eat."

So I try not to say it's awful, but I do what I can to encourage her to make new stuff. When she does make something that's tolerable, I gush over it. So she does make asparagus every time we go over, it seems like, but her asparagus is pretty good.

D

bilrus

bilrus

Posted
Posted

I say eat it. Bland food (or even food that is aggessively nasty) isn't going to kill anyone.

Than you can complain about it afterwards.

Bill Russell

Sam Salmon

Sam Salmon

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted

Thanks for all your suggestions-it all turned out fine in the end.

All she brought were some terminally dry store bought Pakoras-which I doused in Matouk's-a small bottle of decent Champagne and some soggy Cherries.

The Glass Noodle Salad, some seasoned Taiwanese Bamboo and a Papaya/Avocado salad w/artisan bread fed all four fine.

Ducks and Corvids had to fend for themselves. :raz:

Jinmyo

Jinmyo

Posted
Posted

Whew.

That's a relief.

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

Laksa

Laksa

Posted
Posted
All she brought were some terminally dry store bought Pakoras-which I doused in Matouk's-a small bottle of decent Champagne and some soggy Cherries.

I've never met a pakora I didn't like. It's just like pizza - even when it's bad, it's still good. Unless it's too salty, then I might still eat if there's enough of that sweet relish. :smile:

Then again, I may just have very low standards.

Dinner and a Show!
Maison Rustique

Maison Rustique

Posted
Posted
Heap your plate with her stuff. Take a huge forkfull and put it in your mouth. Turn your head and spit it out screaming in rage and horror and throw your plate at them with deadly aim while shouting, "What did you do to this poor food you incompetant hag!!!"

edit:

Oh.

I misread.

You wanted "polite".

I have this thing where I randomly see "im" or "un" before words. I think it's these new bifocals.

Raynickben's answer is a bit more appropriate.

:laugh: You have got me crying with laughter!!!!! I wish you lived near us. We could have some great times!!!!

Deb

Liberty, MO

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