Any salvation for industrial cheese?

[cdh]

Steven, thanks so much for a great answer to my terroir question. It brings to mind a silly thought, however.

It is about the blocks of "cheddar" and "colby" and "swiss" that appear shrink wrapped in plastic in every supermarket, the industrial bulk cheeses that don't have much in the way of character. They seem young and with a fairly high water content, which means they could probably take some aging and develop some character if it were done right.

Do you have any thoughts/tips for people stranded far from interesting cheesemongers with only industrial cheese to work with? Could somebody create a space where a block of this sort of cheese could age and develop into something interesting that incorporates the regional slurry of microbeasts and their unique flavor? Any advice for introducing variety into the outcome while starting with the same base material?

Any idea what somebody could expect if they waxed a block of the stuff and tossed it into the 65 degree cellar for a few months? What sort of care regimen would be required?

Is there any hope of teaching ordinary folks to be successful home affineurs?

Edited July 13, 2004 by cdh (log)

[master cheesemonger/grocer]

Hello again. I cannot over-emphasize this reply. Cheese made from pasteurized milk is dead cheese made from dead milk. There is nothing to be done with dead cheese except a proper burial. As for he notion of a serious cheese in the hands of a home affineur, I don't know. It's just a bit Felix Unger for me. There's nothing FU about purchasing an underripe soft-ripened cheese or a too young chevre, and allowing them to lie in repose for a few weeks until they're where you want them to be. But this business of "affinage" is getting way more attention than it deserves. No semi-soft, semi-firm, firm or hard cheese is going to benefit from you stashing, rubbing, turning, wiping, sniffing, plugging, ironing -- palpating, whatever. THAT'S FU.

[cdh]

Steven--

You see Felix Unger, I see Frasier or Niles Crane... same archetype, different show, different generation (though less double entendre in the initials). Anyway, thanks for definitively pronouncing the industrial cheese DOA. Saved me an experiment and the cost of a hunk of parafin.

All the sadder for those who are hours and miles from live cheese...

As to the affinage issue, I guess I was somewhat suckered by the commercial hype of the concept. The Artisinal cheese center is only the most recent attempt at making affinage a hot marketing concept... the Central Markets down in Texas made rather a big deal of their specially climate controlled cheese caves they've built into their stores back in 1999... Further commentary on this would, of course, be welcome if you've got more to add.

Best,

Chris

Edited July 13, 2004 by cdh (log)

[master cheesemonger/grocer]

Let me add that all this "affinage" business does is increase the price of already costly cheeses. European affineurs are not in the business because they want to delight their customers; they're in the business of affinage because they make more money -- they buy YOUNG cheeses from their makers at a special low price the cheesemaker is happy to extend because she gets paid up front. The affineur then handles the cheese for however long it takes for it to become ready to enjoy, tacks on an upcharge based on how long he's had to hold onto it, and everybody makes money. Period. This American attempt to make hay out of a purely European commercial process is so typical of us.