master cheesemonger/grocer

You charming young people. Listen, first of all I don't see anything coming down the road, and second, stop whining about fat. Fat is GOOD. Be a responsible adult and don't over-indulge in anything. But most important, remember always: THE HARDER THE CHEESE, THE HIGHER THE FAT; THE SOFTER THE CHEESE, THE LOWER THE FAT. Do not bother looking at a cheese's fat content. This issue is the moisture content. Period.

A recent medical report published in a responsible medical journal, name of which escapes me, was a lightening bolt: Cheese contains an enzyme called casomorphin that has the same molecular structure as morphine-based compounds; the report opines this is the reason cheese is so addictive, that you are getting a buzz you're not consciously aware of. This could explain your reaction to this Virot I've never heard of. Perhaps it was front-loaded by some stoner French cheesemaker.

Sounds very practical. Sorry. Has fallen under my radar.

All three Fairway counters stock the same cheeses, with the inevitable omission which can be corrected by complaining to Randy (Plainview), Pedro or Jeff (Harlem) or Audrese, Mike or Junior )74th & B'way.

Hello Peter We (Fairway) stock quark; German, no fat, low fat, full fat. It's around town; comes in from Haram-Christenson. I thought our Ben's (Houston St.) fresh cream cheese (no gums) was the integral ingredient for cheesecake. Normandy fromage blanc. I don't bother with German handkase. Pasteurized, mass-production; all I get is the smelly from them. No articulable flavor from the interior other than cheesiness. Vastly prefer other stuff from France and Northern Italy.

Port-Salut, from one of the biggest cheese factories on earth, is THE cheese for people who don't really like cheese. It is completely without merit. Glossy, flabby and vaguely cheesy. There are dozens of better choices, cheeses with the same texture, cheeses that melt nicely, cheeses that are not strong, cheeses that actually have some link to the cows and to the pasture and to the people that make them; for instance, Morbier, raclette, Vacherin Fribourgeois, Fontina d'Aosta, Belgian Chimay, Tomme de Savoie. I know I'm sticking my big nose in where it wasn't asked to show up, but I hate it that you are helping to perpetuate silly cheeses like Port-Salut. You'll have no trouble cutting sticky Port-Salut if you use a thin-bladed knife that you frequently dip in hot, hot water. You could also effortlessly cut cheeses of this semi-soft texture by employing a wire.

You know, now that I think about it, shanklish is imported -- by Charlie Sahadi at Sahadi on Atlantic Ave. in Brooklyn. The balls are small, they come a few different ways (plain, herbed, etc.) and are packed in jars in olive oil. I believe they're Lebanese. Call them. They probably have a website.

No, it's because in late fall through winter and early spring the goats are not eating fresh vegetation; they're eating hay. It's the chlorophyll in fresh grass, herbs, etc. that provides the sweetness to milk. That's why the first growth of grass in the spring is so celebrated by cheese-loving Europeans. The cheese is as ebullient as the animals. But lots of Italians vastly prefer Parmigiano that was made from winter milk; they adore the complexity they detect in latte d'inverno than latte d'estate. All food preferences are subjective. The second-greatest cheese in the world, Vacherin Mont d'Or, is made solely from winter milk. There you have it.

Let me add that all this "affinage" business does is increase the price of already costly cheeses. European affineurs are not in the business because they want to delight their customers; they're in the business of affinage because they make more money -- they buy YOUNG cheeses from their makers at a special low price the cheesemaker is happy to extend because she gets paid up front. The affineur then handles the cheese for however long it takes for it to become ready to enjoy, tacks on an upcharge based on how long he's had to hold onto it, and everybody makes money. Period. This American attempt to make hay out of a purely European commercial process is so typical of us.

It's also directly related to the atavism that makes dogs want to roll in putrefaction. Getting to know you . . . !

That's for cheeseMAKING, for crying out loud. There is no "certification" for becoming a cheesemonger.

Yeah, scamorza works. Enough already with Mario. I've had it up to here.

To both of you: I take cheeses with me everywhere. I never think twice about it, unless it's really smelly and people are looking at me like I recently filled my pants. Don't hesitate. Don't even worry about cold packs, but use 'em if you got 'em. Your only mission is to not crush them. Otherwise they'll be fine. Same goes for shipping cheese. Of course, it never hurts to pay a little more for overnight delivery; at the least, second-day air.

Segregate blues from non-blues; use plastic (Saran-type) wrap for semi-firm cheeses (Fontina, Morbier); use flimsy, bakery-stlye, pastry-grab paper for chevres and super-soft cheeses; use aluminum foil over-wrapped with plastic wrap for hard cheeses. Keep all cheeses as low in the rfrgrtr as poss. (coolest, most humidity); your home rfrgrtr is your friend, not your enemy. Only cut off as much cheese from the host piece as you intend to wipe out at that sitting. Immediately re-wrap and re-refrigerate each host piece. Not exactly rocket science.

Ihsan Gurdal (he and his wife own FK) is a trusted friend and he is highly knowledgable. Neither he nor I are qualified to give you any advice. But if we didn't care about that we would tell you you're 180 degrees off. Of food-borne illnesses, a tiny fraction are related to dairy foods. Of those tainted dairy foods a tiny fraction of THAT tiny fraction are caused by cheese. Of THAT tiny number I'm telling you 99.9% of those substantiated tainted cheeses were made from pasteurized milk. So why do doctors and pediatricians and OB/GYNs advise their patients to avoid soft cheeses and all raw milk cheeses? Because they are parroting flawed data from well-disseminated medical reports, reports that are scientifically skewed to measure bacterial parts per billion rather than realistic parts per million, reports that we have successfully challenged via microbiological REAL data, etc. ad nauseum. You are as likely to lose your baby from eating artisanal cheeses as you are to get hit by space garbage. But I am not qualified to say a word. Listeria (the main culprit; e coli is not) thrives at low temperatures (factory refrigeration, supermarket walk-in refrigerators) and has proven to be a post-pasteurization phenomenon. Pasteurization results in "tabula rasa" (clean slate) milk wherein there is no natural order between good bacteria (the overwhelming majority of bacteria in raw milk are "good" bacteria) and bad bacteria. The Listeria have no competition; they run rampant. I'd be wary of Jarlsberg.

I'm sure your memory serves you well. What you enjoyed was just one of those ill-advised California choices (or Wisconsin, or NY State, or anywhere else where there's more milk than gullets) where the dairy has no real appreciation for cheese, but plenty of facility for its manufacture; they just add cocoa to the curd for whatever Monterey Jack-style cheese they make. I'm sure it still is made; call Lynne Devereaux at the California Cheese Advisory Board and tell her I sent you. Yes, I know Sweet Grass. Good stuff.

David, at the Aspen Classic (Food & Wine Magazine) in June, one of my "Best American Cheeses" (sold out twice to 500 people) was the Grafton Five-Star, the exquisite five years-aged Cheddar by Scott Fleisher at Grafton Village cheese in Vermont. Another of the seven was Mariano Gonzales' 30 month-old Bandage-Wrapped Fiscalini Cheddar from California. Extraordinary. Last fall at a festival in Kohler, Wisconsin, I presented the Carr Family Aged Cheddar, one was four years old, another ten. You just haven't been getting your hands on the right Cheddars. You don't need no stinkin' Australian or NZ Cheddars. Crumbliness is no trustworthy indicator of sharpness; any Cheddar that has dried out will be crumbly. An abused or ill-made Cheddar aged only a few months can be crumbly. But no soft Cheddar is going to be sharp. Once an American Cheddar has aged for three years or more, whether aged in cloth or with paraffin, it will, though be noticeably crumbly. Ten years-aged Grafton falls apart under its own weight, but still is very oily. "Crumbly" suggests dryness. You must know that all this stuff I'm streaming has absolutely nothing to do with English Farmhouse Somerset Cheddar, a very different style of Cheddar.

I have visited the Rogue Valley Creamery; it is owned by a good friend. The technology you refer to is undeniably advantageous to even artisanal cheesemakers, but I refer to those artisanal cheesemakers who make a lot of cheese. A small-production artisan, though, has no need for technology; she needs naught but fine milk, the old tools, time, patience and a sensitive nose and elbow. European cheesemakers pay about as much attention to us as we pay to Lithuania.

This is among the most unusual questions I've been asked. No, there are no cheeses I feel are more conducive to romance. Maybe I'll relate some of my retail experiences at a later date. I just can't keep up with this eGullet workload. I've got stores to run.

In this weather it takes 15-20 minutes to get cheese to room temp, which is as important as making sure wines -- reds, pinks and whites -- are NOT. My red wine my must be 65F; my pinks and whites cooler, or I'm going to raise hell. My beer better be 34F. I want my liquor on the rocks. In cooler months, expect 30 minutes to pass before you whack at cheeses. According to a cheese's texture it's going to bleed more or less butterfat after an hour at room temp. No good. Don't expect either a hard or soft cheese you've left out for three hours to be the same cheese. Only serve as much cheese as you can wipe out at that sitting. Cut your portions, re-wrap the hosts in fresh paper, and put them back in the refrgrtr.

Elie, fascinating; and shanklish sounds scrumptious. What a pity that there is no commercial shanklish for us. I have heard of it, and I do insist it qualifies as a cheese despite starting with yogurt. I intend to make some inquiries as to its roots, its nature, and I further intend to ask some cheesemakers about the process. Thanks, and sorry I have nothing to offer.

Fiance des Pyrenees, a washed-rind goat's milk cheese from Ariege (Comte-de-Foix); primitive, yet sophisticated in that it is so down-and-dirty that only a kinky- sophisticated, cheese-fanatic cheesemaker could have come up with it; custard-soft, excruciatingly delicious; same goes for St.-Marcellin and St.-Florentin, but not quite as kinky as Fiance. I want the video of Fiance.

These three cheeses would be my choice: burrata, Parmigiano Reggiano, middle-aged chevre fermier (like Le Chevrot), Afeuga'l Pitu from Asturias, St.-Marcellin, Camembert VCN, Brie de Meaux fermier, Gavoi from Sardinia, ricotta from Sicily, Reblochon Fermier, Perail Fermier, Gorgonzola Dolce, Taleggio di Monti, Robiola Bosina, Roccaverano, Munster d'Alsace, Beaufort, Roncal, Zamorano, Taorta del Casar, Queso de la Serena, Fiance des Pyrenees, Pechegos, Rolf Bieler's cheeses, Venaco and Golo from Corsica, Ragusano from Sicily, mozzarella di bufala.

Campania's burrata is among the most wonderful things I have ever put in my mouth. We (Fairway Markets) have it flown in for us every Thursday all year.

Lucy, there is no training or certification for jobs like this. You've got to teach yourself. You've got to get a job with a cheese operation, preferably retail, and learn everything there is to know about cheese.