El Gordo's worst kosher candy competition

[Jason Perlow]

Fruit Slices are the absolute worst thing.  They have a jellied texture.  You chew and chew and chew, and it never breaks down.  And then it gets imbedded in your molars.  And flavors are no where to be found in nature.

Hey, I actually like "fruit" slices, although I'll admit I didn't have last year's crop. Have they gotten noticeably worse in the past decade?

Sure they aren't "fruit". But most fruit flavored things aren't fruit. Then again, I know nothing of these new-fangled blue ones. I've had the classic day-glo orange, yellow, red and green.

Me, I'm a kosher Macaroon hater... tastes like sewage.

And Soba... stop confusing the new folks here by giving a guy who already has a nickname a nickname for his nickname!!!

i like the chocolate covered jelly rings, made by Joyva, the Halvah guys. I could eat a whole box of those in one sitting, no problem.

A local Italian Ices place in New Jersey, "Uncle Louie G's" in Teaneck (kosher certified, owned by Jews) serves a chocolate flavored cream ice mixed with chopped up Passover Chocolate Covered Jelly Rings. I get it at least 50 percent of the time that I go there.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Doesn't the addition of the chopped up chocolate jelly rings into the cold ice cream make them more brittle and less tasty, Jason?

[Jason Perlow]

Doesn't the addition of the chopped up chocolate jelly rings into the cold ice cream make them more brittle and less tasty, Jason?

Nope. It works.

[bloviatrix]

I don't know about Uncle Louie G's. Where in Teaneck is it? Is it worth checking out on one of my shopping trips?

[Jason Perlow]

I don't know about Uncle Louie G's.  Where in Teaneck is it?  Is it worth checking out on one of my shopping trips?

Its on Teaneck road adjoining the parking lot next to East, the japanese restaurant.

they have branches all over the 5 boros and in jersey, like 20 stores. However this particular location is only open during warm months -- I dont think its open for biz yet, probably in a few weeks.

Definitely worth going to, when its open!

EDIT: The have a website:

http://www.unclelouieg.com/index.htm

[bloviatrix]

Thanks Jason. I'll check them out. I love ice cream.

Is the shop North or South of Rte 4?

[Jason Perlow]

Thanks Jason. I'll check them out. I love ice cream.

Is the shop North or South of Rte 4?

its closer to englewood and bergenfield than it is to the heart of Teaneck. Its right before Teaneck Road becomes Washington Ave in Bergenfield.

[richw]

The Barton chews with the whole almond in the center are my favorite passover candy.

[Ellen Shapiro]

Doesn't the addition of the chopped up chocolate jelly rings into the cold ice cream make them more brittle and less tasty, Jason?

I'd say that would be the point -- freeze the jelly rings -- risk breaking a tooth, but less risk of tasting them!

[VivreManger]

I have never been a fan of Barton's so I would be tempted to put it high up on the worst candy and sweet category, along with canned macaroons. That outrage made it almost impossible for me to imagine that a French macaron could be worth eating.

What I do like and regularly buy for afikoman presents and general indulgence are the Swiss chocolates made by

www.maestrani.ch

and by Chocolats Camille Bloch

www.camillebloch.ch

A few years ago I found another brand that was even better. I think it came from Zurich, but I have not seen it recently and can't remember the name. In terms of the ingredients, there is no reason why Passover chocolates can't be as good as the best.

[alacarte]

my vote for most disgusting kosher candy are the marshmallows made with fish gelatin.

YUK!

[Gifted Gourmet]

Doesn't the addition of the chopped up chocolate jelly rings into the cold ice cream make them more brittle and less tasty, Jason?

I'd say that would be the point -- freeze the jelly rings -- risk breaking a tooth, but less risk of tasting them!

This reminds me of one Passover store-bought cake which tasted dreadful at room temperature but a bit better when ice cold .. killed the off cloying, artificial taste perhaps! We laughed hysterically at this fact ...

alacarte, this made me laugh as well:marshmallows made with fish gelatin.

Gefilte Marshmallows!! For this we left slavery in Egypt??

richw: The Barton chews with the whole almond in the center are my favorite passover candy. Now those were good but they pulled out any loose dental work in one's mouth ...

Ah, the Perils 'o' Pesach are as myriad as the Plagues visited upon the Egyptians!

Have a marvelous, liberating, celebration of freedom from tyranny wherever it may occur, happy and healthy Passover!!

[SobaAddict70]

my vote for most disgusting kosher candy are the marshmallows made with fish gelatin.

YUK!

I take it these are unsweetened?

Soba

[Mabelline]

Man, youall are making Passover candy sound like a penance. Or maybe a self-imolation?

[VivreManger]

Actually its what Lent was before Easter.

[cakewalk]

Man, youall are making Passover candy sound like a penance. Or maybe a self-imolation?

Actually, there are times when I think that Passover itself is the eleventh plague.

Yes, there's plenty of good stuff for Passover. And of course there's plenty of home-made stuff, even better. But making fun of traditionally bad Passover candy is a tradition in itself!

Hag Sameach everyone.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Actually, there are times when I think that Passover itself is the eleventh plague. 

It just wouldn't be Passover without the requisite angst and hand wringing, you realize!

For the more observant among us, it is more the aspect of detailed and carefully executed cleaning, removing chometz from every crevice and cranny, both trying and exhausting, done scrupulously and meticulously ...

On a personal level, I truly enjoy the buying of the special foods, the cooking, then relaxing during the week in celebration of one of the nicest family holidays ...

[alacarte]

my vote for most disgusting kosher candy are the marshmallows made with fish gelatin.

YUK!

I take it these are unsweetened?

Soba

The fish gelatin marshmallows are sweetened, Soba, which makes them marginally less disgusting. To be fair, they don't actually taste like fish. However, they have a disconcerting tendency to change texture as you chew them -- one second lovely fluffy marshmallow, the next you are chomping on gritty bits of fish bones.

Edited April 6, 2004 by alacarte (log)

[slkinsey]

Fruit Slices are the absolute worst thing.  They have a jellied texture.  You chew and chew and chew, and it never breaks down.  And then it gets imbedded in your molars.  And flavors are no where to be found in nature.

With last year's being the absolute worst candy known to civilized man ever ... how they ever thought they could pass them off on the hapless consumer is beyond me .... like I said, this year one last chance in my house!!!

How could you not like such a delicius confection with such wholesome ingredients:

Sugar, Potato glucose, agar agar, titanium dioxide, walnut oil, citric acid, artificial fruit flavors & colors Red #40, yellow #5, yellow #6

Um... titanium dioxide?!

[Gifted Gourmet]

Yeah, but they are supposedly fat free .... anyway, what's a little titanium dioxide among friends?? Surgeon General's Warning: Don't smoke while ingesting!!

Found a brand new worst ever candy this afternoon, and one which I was looking forward to all week .. from, who else, Manischewitz, entirely new product: Double Chocolate Dipped Matzos ... $6 a tiny box ..... the matzo inside the coating, which fell off in great chunks, was stale and the coating a true horror ....so much for "New and Improved" ...

[jhlurie]

Yeah, when they were pounding that bread on the rocks back in ancient times, and then were on the run and didn't have time for it to rise, certainly the double chocolate dipping wasn't very far behind...

[alacarte]

Found a brand new worst ever candy this afternoon, and one which I was looking forward to all week .. from, who else, Manischewitz, entirely new product: Double Chocolate Dipped Matzos ... $6 a tiny box ..... the matzo inside the coating, which fell off in great chunks, was stale and the coating a true horror ....so much for "New and Improved" ...

what a bummer, G.G. I bought the double-chocolate-dipped macaroons too. I was planning to save them for a few days, until I was good & sick of Passover food & needed a treat.

Right now, I'm staring down a canister of Manischewitz Cappuccino Chip macaroons. Not bad. For macaroons.

[Gifted Gourmet]

So here is the "update" on those much maligned (by me, anyway) Manischewitz Fruit Slices ... as I had said, they were disastrous for the past few years and now sported the "New Improved" logo on the box ...

well, they were actually better this year! Not superlative, of course, but better .. they tasted somewhat fruitier and the more acidic (do not read Hassidic, please!!) balance with the sugar coating was a lot nicer and more palatable ...

but here is my "issue" with them: why not do it right first instead of making us hang around and wait for the better product?? Is this not tantamount to saying "You idiot consumers put up with less than good stuff for years, but NOW we are improving it!" Demeaning to our intellect, demeaning to our palates ... I rest my case ...

[pjs]

Joyva's Marshmallow Twists sound so much more mouth-watering in the French found on the back of the box:

"Pâte de Gimauve enrobee de Chocolat"

BTW, fish gelatin in French is "Gélatin k de Poissons."

Yum.

i like the chocolate covered jelly rings, made by Joyva, the Halvah guys. I could eat a whole box of those in one sitting, no problem.

Jason, I'll trade you a box of Joyva Ring Jells for a bag of Szech Pep, and I will throw in the box of Marshmallow Twists (cherry flavored!) as a further inducement.

PJ

PS: The marshmallows are going to get thrown one way or another.

[Gifted Gourmet]

The marshmallows are going to get thrown one way or another.

Is that meant like "in a food fight" or "into the garbage"??