You know you are in a bad restaurant when....

[Mudpuppie]

When the seafood restaurant is offering "Fresh Whitney" today.

I once drove by, but didn't stop at, a Missouri "family-style" restaurant that advertised "Dutch Apple Concrete" on its signboard.

[coughy]

How come no one has mentioned those mall restaurants that hand you a pager to tell you when your table is ready and which stores you can not go past?

[ludja]

you sidle up to the bar before dinner and there is wine-in-a-box on tap and beer in cans....

(this really happened)

(Got reminded of this while posting on "poor folk wine" thread)

[lmswartz]

a roach is baked into your pizza.

you find a dead roach under the rice you've just eaten.

*sigh* another true story

[lia]

This is true.  Plus, you can get awful sick of eating the same food day after day.

yep, the restaurant where i work has a rather generous and tasty staff meal twice a day, but sometimes a bagel or sandwich from the shop next door just hits the spot a little better.

[sparrowgrass]

Mudpuppy, you missed out on a real treat. That was probably Ted Drewes Frozen Custard.

A "concrete" is a shake that is so thick they hand it to you upside down with the spoon stuck in it.

[stephenc]

Items are served in a basket.

I've had fantastic seafood served in a basket.

[stephenc]

Any place open 24/7.

My favorite diner in the world is open 24/7

[WHT]

Any place open 24/7.

My favorite diner in the world is open 24/7

Congratulation on being in the minority in this case. Sure there are some exceptions and I am happy you found one. Unfortunately I don’t see the green and gold joint, the blue and white joint or several other chains being in that group.

[Mudpuppie]

Mudpuppy, you missed out on a real treat. That was probably Ted Drewes Frozen Custard.

A "concrete" is a shake that is so thick they hand it to you upside down with the spoon stuck in it.

Ohhhhh. I thought the Ozark folks just didn't know how to spell "compote."

I've always known the "concrete" thing as a Blizzard, having grown up in DQ country.

[bilrus]

Mudpuppy, you missed out on a real treat.  That was probably Ted Drewes Frozen Custard.

A "concrete" is a shake that is so thick they hand it to you upside down with the spoon stuck in it.

Ohhhhh. I thought the Ozark folks just didn't know how to spell "compote."

I've always known the "concrete" thing as a Blizzard, having grown up in DQ country.

Ted Drewes predates the Blizzard by about 40 years. It's good and decadent.

[Claire]

Any place where the waitstaff sits down in your booth while taking your order.

Any place (this may be a given) that smells like urine, inside or out.

Any place with "Olde" or "Shoppe" in the name. Or, for that matter, "Ye."

Personally, I also avoid places that are adjacent to dry cleaners. Or near crematoriums.

I also avoid places that keep their fly strips or bug zappers in public view.

I never eat at places that employ "sandwich artists."

Automatically on the list: any restaurant adjacent to or within walking distance from Wal-Mart. Hell, let's make that within sight of Wal-mart.

Best list yet!