Meat in Song

[Fat Guy]

Mr. Cutlets, what are your top five picks for meat-related song lyrics.

[glenn]

While we're waiting, can I entertain you? These here are both written by everyone's favorite vegetarian, Weird Al Yankovic.

Hey, ooh, oh

One rule you all should obey

Eat from the four basic food groups everyday

Have bread, and vegetables too

Some dairy products, but whatever you do

Don't you forget about meat

Don't, don't, don't, don't

Don't you forget about meat

------------------

Now, let me tell you 'bout the school cafeteria

It's got all the others beat

It sells over four million burgers a year

Just think, that's almost two pounds of meat

My ice cream sandwich is lukewarm

But my burrito is much too cold

You know, a school cafeteria is the only place

That serves artificially colored mold

You know, a school cafeteria believes in mass production

They buy those lousy soy beans by the keg

I don't like to complain, but in a school cafeteria

You can buy a taco and get Bubonic Plague

Today in the school cafeteria

They introduced a brand new malt

It's called boysenberry dyesentary

Pleas pass the salt

The tunafish sandwiches will make you ill

The enchiladas are enough to kill

Before you eat, you better make out your will

In the school cafeteria today

After 63 years in the business

Our cook still hasn't got the knack

And all the food in the school cafeteria

Comes in care packages that were sent back

Feel your arteries growing hard

As you eat another healthy spoonful of lard

It's no matter that the food is so gross

The health department is afraid to come close

So everybody better hold your nose

In the school cafeteria today

So listen very closely all you girls and guys

Here's a little message to the wives

You'd better not try the chili suprise

In the school cafeteria today

Oh yeah

In the school cafeteria today

[Mister_Cutlets]

I like it! Some day I plan to release an anthology record called "The Meaty Moods of Mr. Cutlets," which will include such meat-centric classics as

Pork Chops & Gravy -- The Ink Spots

Save the Bones for Henry Jones -- Nat Cole and Johnny Mercer

Pork Roll, Egg, and Cheese -- Ween

Gimme a Pigfoot -- Bessie Smith

Burger Man -- ZZ Top

and of course Constipation Blues, by Screaming Jay Hawkins, among others.

Your suggestions are welcome. The greatest meat song ever written, however, is surely "Burn Baby Burn" by The Dicatators, from the album D.F.F.D. Buy it!

Burn Baby Burn

I crave the flesh of the sacred cow

charred and dripping fat

I love the sight of a baby lamb

Spinning on the rack

I say, Burn!! Burn!!

Burn, Baby, Burn!!

My guitar player likes to knaw the bone

and suck the marrow out

He plays a Marshall stack twenty feet tall

and grills a porterhouse

I say, Burn!! Burn!!

Burn, Ross, Burn!!

[blazing guitar solo by Ross "the Boss" Funicello]

Plantkillers...Plantkillers.. Plantkillers try to rule my world

Plantkillers...Plantkillers.. Plantkillers try to rule my world

The grill's hot, my knives sharpened

Got a bass-o-matic

And a hunger pang

Why do the Sioux hunt the buffalo?

Why do they love the pig in Spain?

Why do the big fish eat the small?

Why do we even have to eat at all?

Cause,

Life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on life feeds on......

Look at me now

Look at me now

Look at me now

I'm on top of the food chain...

I am the carnivore

I am the omnivore

I am the matador

That's what my teeth are for!!

Burn!!

Burn baby Burn!!

Burn baby Burn!!

Burn baby Burn!!

Burn baby Burn

Words and Music by Andy Shernoff

[TrishCT]

On the C & W front there's a tune by Tom T. Hall called Who's Gonna Feed Them Hogs? 'Bout a wife who walks out on her hubby durin' hog feedin' time... Gee wonder why she walked out....

[Janedujour]

Was it Hall and Oates? "Everytime you go away, you take a piece of meat with you..."

[MatthewB]

Willie Bobo recorded quite a few "food songs."

For instance, there's "Fried Neck Bones and Some Homefries."

And don't forget the album cover for "Spanish Grease."

[mrbigjas]

Don't forget "Eat Steak" by the Rev. Horton Heat. Lyrics here

[Pan]

I love Gimme a Pigfoot!

A lot of the early jazz artists recorded songs with food titles, such as Struttin' with some Barbecue (recorded by Louis Armstrong and His Hot Five). Other food titles from Hot Five albums:

Big Butter and Egg Man, Cornet Chop Suey.

If you check The Red Hot Jazz Archive, you can find a whole bunch of titles - many of them links to RealAudio files - of jazz up to the 1930s or so. These Louis Armstrong titles and RealAudio files for them can be found here.

Blanco and Blanco have a show devoted to jazz and popular music from the first three decades of the 20th century on WNYE-FM in New York. Looking here, it seems like they've been reduced to only one hour, on Mondays and Tuesdays, but their show used to be a couple of hours long, and they once devoted an entire show to songs about chicken.