T@dans I am so sorry for you and your friends loss 🙁 I am glad you have someone to lean on.
Your question made made me very curious so I fired up a quick google search - I don’t know if you do “apps” (like phone or iPad) but I ran across an app called Spoonacular food companion ... it seems if you put a recipe website into the app - it will do many things for you - among them - create a shopping list from the recipes / websites you input into the app (I’m not sure I’m making this clear) - but I believe it will do what you are seeking if I understand the app correctly.
I have not used the app myself (though I may start 😀) - but it gets high ratings. I know it’s available in the iTunes Store, I’m not sure about Google Play or Amazon though I’m sure it’s easy enough to look. I hope this helps.