On April 17, 2017 at 6:09 AM, Thanks for the Crepes said:
I am there with you, woman.
I spent this holiday alone. Someone came to the door and knocked about 3:30 PM, and it might have been my ex-BIL that drives a big black SUV like was here, or it could have been Jehovah's Witnesses that left a tiny flyer on the door last week. Even J.W. fliers seem to have felt the effects of the economy, and are really small and cheap. However, whoever it was did not have the respect to call, so I didn't answer the door. I was way too busy being depressed.
My Easter dinner was a Cornish hen placed on a bed of a potato, a few carrots and half and onion with two large garlic cloves smashed and cut into slivers thrown into the cavity. Some say the garlic cloves in the cavity are great, but I think I prefer it without. They were well cooked though, and quite mild. The meal was good though, and provided enough to eat for tomorrow as well. This was cooked in an old crock pot, because my oven is broken.
I just so miss the ritual of special family dinners around the Easter holiday celebration. Ours was not even a conventional ritual, every time, although, we have had them, when our family was more intact, but dammit, it was our ritual.
You should feel lucky, MetsFan5, that you still have your husband and parents, and a comfortable income where you can go out to eat such an expensive meal. I'm sorry some things, even at this price point, were lacking. I am mostly jealous of your remaining family. You really ought to cherish that.
I remember going out to eat for Thanksgiving only once with the family. It was terrible. A sit down dinner my step-mom paid for when it was her turn to host. The restaurant employees obviously wanted to be somewhere else, and who can blame them? The food was, well let's be kind, adequate. I cried later. I must say that it wasn't but a few years later that she was diagnosed with Parkinson's.
I know I am very fortunate to have my parents and the means to afford meals out at fine dining restaurants.
My family has always been a bit more comfortable dining out on holidays for a multitude of reasons. One, my father has a severe poultry allergy. So even if we go to extended family's homes, it's up to my mom or me to prep and bring something that can be reheated and avoid any cross contamination. Chicken stock is prevalent in so many things from soups to sauces and home cooks, as well intended as they are, don't always keep serving utensils seperate and can forget they used a boullion cube. Restaurants take allergies much more seriously and I mention my father's allergy when making reservations.
When coping with the loss of an abusive addict, staying "home" is filled with extremely sad, violent and verbally abusive memories. A neutral ground is much easier for all of us, especially for my husband when the holiday proceeds a work day. And we've been going to the same restaurant for I think at least 3 holidays now. I know the waitstaff, some from having worked with them in a different restaurant. And that type of hospitality can, at times, feel more like family than actual family does.
I also have to be sensitive to my parents who have a hard time being around teenaged kids, people with questions surrounding a sudden death of a 33 yr old and go with what works for them.
But believe me. I thank god for them every. Single. Day. Death is a personal process for everyone; it isn't a competition where any one wins-- everyone suffering loses and there isn't a barometer for measuring who's loss is more painful.
And that's the funny thing about restaurants. Sometimes the servers are a lot more genuine and kind than family would be. Which I suppose would surprise some, but not me.
