To all of you who have lost physically or otherwise loved ones I just want to visit you...hug you...and cook for you. Years ago I read a book by a pair of southern writers(sorry I hope someone can supply names) about how they deal with death in the south. I've also read some of Julia Reed's work on the same subject.
When my grandfather and later my mother died on the east end of Long Island folks brought us food and casseroles. Especially that funereal favorite out there of jello with cottage cheese, pineapple and sour cream. I was younger when Pop died and did remember getting drunk at the wake(what we called the repast) and then shoving a piece of cake in my cousin Bertie's face. Not my best behavior.
When mom died I found solace in cooking - for others. I did not want to eat.
John has lost his grandmother and mom but food is NOT part of their world. The repast for Grandma was catered by Subway. For his mom people sent some cakes, cookies and fruit to the house and some to the nursing home that the family shared with the staff.
To those dealing with loss I would like to offer an idea - HALT. Hungry, Angry. Lonely, Tired. Please recognize this and try to take care of yourself by having a few bites of something you want or have a taste for or a few sips of some tea or seltzer.
There are two other phrases that have been alluded to above - Fake it until you Make it. Act as If........ the pain diminishes with time though never goes away.
