Why PR Sometimes Makes Me Want To Stay Away

[weinoo]

Her's is a blurb, from Eater, about a new restaurant called Bowery Diner, which is slated to open in the next few weeks on Bowery in New York City...

Expect affordable versions of American diner classics and also a next-level artisanal soda program,

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but most classic diners that I've eaten at already are pretty affordable. I mean, that's generally what you expect when you eat at a diner. Couple of eggs, home fries, bacon or ham or sausage, cuppa Joe - around $10, no? Burger - maybe $7 or $8, right? So - how are they gonna get much cheaper than that?

And is "next-level artisinal soda program" perhaps the most annoying phrase you've heard this year? I know - it's early - but gimme a break.

Bring it.

[WK2]

That's pretty bad. Actually, I've found that the word "program" to refer to a wine menu itself a little grating. I don't see what it adds. Used for soda, it's just silly. Can't you just say, we'll have schmancy sodas?

I suppose what they mean by "Expect affordable versions of American diner classics" is "Expect high-end versions of American diner classics that are still kind-of affordable but are way more than a diner"

[weinoo]

Well, the opening menu is now on line.

Here are a few classics and their affordable prices:

Hamburger (with fries) $14

Fried calamari - $18 (although my diner never had this)

Caesar salad - $11

Roasted chicken - $24

Grilled cheese - $15

Classics...yes. Affordable prices - you be the judge.

[MikeHartnett]

Anytime PR says "affordable" with respect to a genre of food that's already affordable, it translates to "we're going to make it fancier and hope you believe us when we tell you it's affordable 'for what it is.'"

Translation of the ridiculous sentence I just wrote: when a restaurant with PR tells you it's affordable, run.

[gfweb]

"Next-level artisanal soda program" WTF.

Cliche-o-rama.

[ScoopKW]

"Next-level artisanal soda program" WTF.

Cliche-o-rama.

Synergistic craft-brewed artisan fair-trade eco-friendly coffee.

[Dakki]

Local synergistic craft-brewed artisan fair-trade eco-friendly coffee.

[mkayahara]

Grilled cheese that costs more than a burger? There's something wrong here.

[weinoo]

Well, from our friends at Eater today, and from the ridiculous to the sublime, here's the latest...

Toby’s will be serving breakfast, lunch and dessert and Australian comfort food. According to their press materials, “A marble bar encourages interaction between customers and the baristas they will order directly from, making the experience akin to a cocktail bar.”

That's the word from Toby's Estate Coffee, coffee roasters and sellers from Australia. They're opening their first US shop today in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

[gfweb]

Well, from our friends at Eater today, and from the ridiculous to the sublime, here's the latest...

Toby’s will be serving breakfast, lunch and dessert and Australian comfort food. According to their press materials, “A marble bar encourages interaction between customers and the baristas they will order directly from, making the experience akin to a cocktail bar.”

That's the word from Toby's Estate Coffee, coffee roasters and sellers from Australia. They're opening their first US shop today in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Because Hipsters will buy any trendy load of kangaroo doody.

[StanSherman]

Local, Organic, synergistic, craft-brewed artisan fair-trade eco-friendly coffee.

Don't hate me for this but our local diner charges $3.00 for a grilled cheese with fries.

[Country]

Local, Organic, synergistic, craft-brewed artisan fair-trade eco-friendly coffee.

Don't hate me for this but our local diner charges $3.00 for a grilled cheese with fries.

Wood fire roasted, Local, Organic, synergistic, craft-brewed artisan fair-trade eco-friendly coffee.

Grilled cheese at Moody's Diner is $2.39. With cheddar $2.99. But a side of fries costs another $1.89. Menu. No escargot on the menu though.

[Alcuin]

Don't hate me for this but our local diner charges $3.00 for a grilled cheese with fries.

That's as it should be at a diner, though maybe not at a "diner"...

There's a local restaurant conglomerate around here that has several "diners," one of which actually has "blue plate" right in the name (every thing does come on a blue plate too). It's more of a "diner" themed restaurant than anything, but the prices aren't so bad for what you get. The problem is, these places aren't as cheap as a real diner and they aren't as good as very many of the real restaurants around here. There are too many good breakfast or burger places around to merit thinking of going there. For instance, while this "diner" does serve a lot of local, organic, gluten free food, so does every other breakfast place around here and there are plenty of burger places that do too. The "diner-themed-restaurant" seems too doomed to a kind of pitch perfect mediocrity, maybe even the most high quality mediocrity of a sort your money can buy.

[Shalmanese]

Toby’s will be serving breakfast, lunch and dessert and Australian comfort food. According to their press materials, “A marble bar encourages interaction between customers and the baristas they will order directly from, making the experience akin to a cocktail bar.”

I'm Australian and I have no idea what Australian comfort food is.

[Mjx]

Toby’s will be serving breakfast, lunch and dessert and Australian comfort food. According to their press materials, “A marble bar encourages interaction between customers and the baristas they will order directly from, making the experience akin to a cocktail bar.”

I'm Australian and I have no idea what Australian comfort food is.

Presumably they're counting on NYC hipsters not knowing either, but being like, way too cool to admit that.

This sort of thing is that makes me much prefer wildly unfashionable places primarily patronized by grumpy old men who walk in, look around sourly, walk over to where you're sitting, and say 'This is my table'.

My brain is not even fully able to imagine the response of such patrons to menus with 'Australian comfort food' on them.

[rarerollingobject]

Australian comfort food? WTF? Dagwood dogs (if you don't know..don't Google) and lamingtons? Weird. Toby's here serves...paninis.

To be fair, Toby's IS good at its coffee, and started out as a wee fighting independent - but is now part of one of the huge food multinational corporations, Cerebos. Which is hardly catnip to hipsters..if only they knew they were supporting the Man!

[jrshaul]

And is "next-level artisinal soda program" perhaps the most annoying phrase you've heard this year? I know - it's early - but gimme a break.

Coca Cola is battery terminal cleaner with sugar. Sometimes, without sugar. It's how it's supposed to be.

Unless, I suppose, you go for the original recipe, which is battery terminal cleaner with sugar and cocaine.

Also, I'm not sure America is ready for the meat pie floater. I know I'm not.

[Snadra]

Australian comfort food? WTF? Dagwood dogs (if you don't know..don't Google) and lamingtons? Weird. Toby's here serves...paninis.

To be fair, Toby's IS good at its coffee, and started out as a wee fighting independent - but is now part of one of the huge food multinational corporations, Cerebos. Which is hardly catnip to hipsters..if only they knew they were supporting the Man!

See, I was thinking overlooked snags, crumbed cutlets and salad plates with beetroot and tinned pineapple, and couldn't imagine how hipsters would be attracted by that.

I didnt realised they'd been bought by Cerebos - for some reason I thought they were in private equity hands. But, being owned by Cerebos, at least they'll have first rate access to Gravox for all the ridgy-didge comforting meat pies they'll be serving.

Most restaurant PR turns me off, because you just KNOW that when you go there it will all turn out to be smoke and mirrors and the modelslashwaiterslashactor serving you will not only screw up your order but double charge you as well. And the food will be so different from what the reviewer got on his visit that you will think you wandered into the wrong place.

[WK2]

“A marble bar encourages interaction between customers and the baristas they will order directly from . . . ."

I don't get it. Is it the marble that encourages interaction? Or the bar? Because most coffee places have a bar. So it must be the marble. But I've never thought of marble as encouraging interaction, particularly. Anyway, what sort of interaction, exactly, other than ordering and getting coffee? Maybe you can negotiate the prices or something...

Very odd.

[tikidoc]

Expect affordable versions of American diner classics and also a next-level artisanal soda program,

Reminded me of a blog I stumbled on a couple months ago, http://thatisnotartisan.blogspot.com/. It's a fun read. But shouldn't it be "That is not artisanal?"

[chefguz]

I wouldn't agree those are affordable prices . . . grilled cheese for $15!

[Snadra]

“A marble bar encourages interaction between customers and the baristas they will order directly from . . . ."

I don't get it. Is it the marble that encourages interaction? Or the bar? Because most coffee places have a bar. So it must be the marble. But I've never thought of marble as encouraging interaction, particularly. Anyway, what sort of interaction, exactly, other than ordering and getting coffee? Maybe you can negotiate the prices or something...

Very odd.

Well, here should be some kind of reaction between marble and acids. Maybe they think acid tongues will cause an interaction with the marble?

[WK2]

Here's another dubious use of the word "program", with respect to a dessert menu.

http://newyork.grubstreet.com/2012/02/101-best-new-desserts-in-the-country.html#photo=16x00039

[David A. Goldfarb]

"Australian comfort food"?

I don't know if Vegemite is going to be a big draw in Brooklyn. Foster's maybe.

[Keith_W]

Australian comfort foods - witchetty grubs, goanna tail, and honey ants. Or throw a whole kangaroo (fur, snout, entrails and all) into a pit, cover with charcoal embers, and heap more dirt on top. After a few hours, pull it out and eat. Or throw a whole turtle onto a fire. When liquid starts coming out the holes, pull it off and eat.

Those are the weirder sounding foods. Of course there are bush fruits like Quandong, Bunya nuts, and all sorts of tubers whose names I have forgotten now. Or damper (Australian bread) - mix flour with water, put it in a tin can, and hang it over a fire.

I spent 18 months of my life working with indigenous Australians. I have eaten all the above.

Somehow I don't think foods like that would feature in a fancy NYC restaurant