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Equipment You Hope Will Break Soon


Chris Amirault

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I have a new Artisan Kitchenaid mixer that I purposely leave plugged in during electrical storms. I had a perfectly good old Kitchenaid mixer that had about 200 more watts than this new one, but the new husband thought he could make it fit under the counter and sadly took a metal saw to it one day when I wasn't home. It didn't work, and he bought this one as an apology. It won't even knead dough. It has a glass bowl. It sucks so much but it's new. And it was a gift from the new husband. Lightning is my only hope.

Lightening for the mixer or the husband?

That was my question as well. A saw? Seriously? What portion of the mixer did he think it could function without?

All things considered, I believe I'd much prefer having a Kitchenaid to a husband.

Don't ask. Eat it.

www.kayatthekeyboard.wordpress.com

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David, a little veg oil on the sides of the racks will make them glide smoothly.

I don't have anything that I want to die at least not yet. I'm betting once I buy a house in Calgary, there'll be all kinds of appliances I want to die a quick death though. I'm really going to miss this kitchen.

Marlene

Practice. Do it over. Get it right.

Mostly, I want people to be as happy eating my food as I am cooking it.

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I have a new Artisan Kitchenaid mixer that I purposely leave plugged in during electrical storms. I had a perfectly good old Kitchenaid mixer that had about 200 more watts than this new one, but the new husband thought he could make it fit under the counter and sadly took a metal saw to it one day when I wasn't home. It didn't work, and he bought this one as an apology. It won't even knead dough. It has a glass bowl. It sucks so much but it's new. And it was a gift from the new husband. Lightning is my only hope.

Wait--he what? Took a metal saw to it how? I'm looking at my Kitchenaid and not really seeing anything . . . saw-able.

Ok the first thing he did was really pretty brilliant. He unscrewed the foot portion of the mixer and replaced it with a flat plate of steel. That made the mixer low enough to fit on the counter underneath the hanging cabinets. However, my mixer was the kind where the bowl raises up and down, and now the bowl wouldn't go down far enough so I could attach the paddle or dough hook without a major wrestling match. (Before the bowl settled into that round depression in the middle of the foot, that depression was no longer there.)

So then he waited until I was gone and he got out the metal saw. He sawed off part of that metal rod that hangs down that you attach the paddle or dough hook to, making it easier to get the paddle into position to attach it. But that rod held the paddle steady. Bad, bad new husband. He said I didn't need all of that rod but the cake batter splatter pattern across my kitchen indicated otherwise. I made him wipe off all the oranges. In the bowl. On the other side of the stove.

I loved that mixer. I'm thinking of maybe fixing his boat for him.

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Runwestierun, that's one way to even the score. Very funny.

Well, I should have known that just the appearance of this topic was a bad omen. I spent the morning sort of wishing my Oster beehive blender would break, but not tonight, since I was supposed to make a cream of green chile soup. I hate that blender. And tonight my sort-of wish came true. The part where the soup pours out from the bottom instead of the top wasn't exactly in the plan, but there you have it. I'm going to consult the blender topic, but if anyone has suggestions they are welcome. Yes, of course I want a Blend-tech, but I'm not sure it's in the cards just now. My daughter had a New Years eve 2am run-in with a tree and did some damage to my car. She's fine, but body work isn't cheap. Isn't there anything in between all the $50 blenders and the $500 ones?

On the other hand, the place that's doing the bodywork is amazing. It's run by an Italian family and the waiting room has Memphis style chairs, some sculpture and an espresso machine. They made my husband a very good double espresso with lovely crema on top. Hasn't anyone invented an espresso-size to-go cup yet? And I thought my mother's 9 euro espresso in St. Mark's was pricey. This one will be a lot more.

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