Every Jello-O in the Book

[Moopheus]

A while back, the wife and I went to see the film Julie and Julia. Afterward, the wife looked up Julie's blog, read some of it, decided she was unimpressed, and thought why not do it too. So we went to the kitchen, and I, being generally a silly person, picked out the most un-Julia-like book in the collection: The New Joys of Jell-O, from 1974. This is a book we'd never actually used, but purchased for the amusement of the illustrations. So the wife decided to, uh, cook her way through the book over the course of the year. This seemed like an amusing idea, except for one snag: it would involve actually eating the Jell-O. Some of the recipes in this book are quite, well, beyond unappetizing. Really.

So fast forward a while and the wife is still at it. Blogging away about the Jell-O. Months to go. Last night was Waldorf salad. In Jell-O. Now, I want to be supportive and all that, but I don't want to eat any more damn Jell-O. Some real horrors await--Jell-O with tuna, Jell-O with ham. Jell-O gazpacho. I've come to believe that this book is a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

I want to know, who came up with these things? Did the food scientists in the labs at General Foods actually try these concoctions before deciding to put them in the book? Did they giggle and smirk? Have competitions to try to find the most ingeniously horrific combinations?

[Beebs]

So, uhh..how'd they all taste???

Pictures, please!

[Moopheus]

Well, if you really want pictures, they're all here.

Taste-wise they range from merely inoffensive to bioweapon-level threats against humanity (stewed tomatoes in lime Jell-O).

[KarenDW]

That book was an important tome when I was growing up

Crown Jewel Dessert seems to ring a bell.

[Lilija]

That zombie Jello hand is badass, I must say. I give you mad credit, though, because I would rather jump in a volcano than eat that much Jello. In fact, the very idea of tuna suspended in the stuff makes my tummy fold up into a little unhappy wad.

I wonder what was going on in our great nation during that time, that someone actually thought wiggly stewed tomatoes and fake strawberry would taste good together. Mass. Hysteria. Makes for entertaining reading though! Thanks for the link to the blog

Edited November 25, 2009 by Lilija (log)

[MarkinHouston]

That zombie Jello hand is badass, I must say. I give you mad credit, though, because I would rather jump in a volcano than eat that much Jello. In fact, the very idea of tuna suspended in the stuff makes my tummy fold up into a little unhappy wad.

I wonder what was going on in our great nation during that time, that someone actually thought wiggly stewed tomatoes and fake strawberry would taste good together. Mass. Hysteria. Makes for entertaining reading though! Thanks for the link to the blog

"What was going on in our great nation during that time"! We had unannounced nuclear attack drills in which we either went into the school hallways and closed our eyes or crouched down under our desks in the classroom. The likelihood of success in both cases is almost laughable!

[baroness]

I wonder what was going on in our great nation during that time, that someone actually thought wiggly stewed tomatoes and fake strawberry would taste good together. Mass. Hysteria. Makes for entertaining reading though! Thanks for the link to the blog

I *still* cannot forget a raspberry jello-tomato 'delight' that my Mom's best friend served. My, it was "different"!!!

[Moopheus]

It's sort of frightening to contemplate that there was a time when people willingly inflicted this sort of thing on themselves and others. I tell you, tomatoes and Jell-O are like the proton beams in Ghostbusters--should never cross paths.

MarkInHouston--at least in my school district, by the early 70s we'd pretty much given up on duck-and-cover and resigned ourselves to instant obliteration. Maybe that's why we thought we had nothing to lose with the Jell-O. And the clothes.

[HungryC]

C'mon, tomatoes and gelatin are a lovely combination (but I'm not talking about fake-fruit-flavored stuff). A cool tomato aspic on a hot summer day is a fine thing--I once had a stunning green tomato aspic with blackberry sauce, and a bloody mary aspic can be a fun brunch starter. Gelatin, like all other foods, seems to wax & wane in popularity. Jello's low cost, awful synthetic fruit flavors & sheer ubiquity have devalued a perfectly nice foodstuff.

[jgm]

I think the solution is obvious.

Have her also make Jello shots while she's doing everything else (not necessarily with cottage cheese or tomatoes in them, in fact absolutely NOT with cottage cheese or tomatoes in them). Have several. Get too drunk to care.

[David A. Goldfarb]

I trust you've seen Lileks' Gallery of Regrettable Food. There are a few pages devoted to Jell-O and Knox Gelatin monstrosities.

[Moopheus]

Oh, yes. In fact, I think at one point he had some stuff up from the same book we have.

[Toliver]

A while back, the wife and I went to see the film Julie and Julia. Afterward, the wife looked up Julie's blog, read some of it, decided she was unimpressed, and thought why not do it too. So we went to the kitchen, and I, being generally a silly person, picked out the most un-Julia-like book in the collection: The New Joys of Jell-O, from 1974. This is a book we'd never actually used, but purchased for the amusement of the illustrations. So the wife decided to, uh, cook her way through the book over the course of the year. This seemed like an amusing idea, except for one snag: it would involve actually eating the Jell-O. Some of the recipes in this book are quite, well, beyond unappetizing. Really.

So fast forward a while and the wife is still at it. Blogging away about the Jell-O. Months to go. Last night was Waldorf salad. In Jell-O. Now, I want to be supportive and all that, but I don't want to eat any more damn Jell-O. Some real horrors await--Jell-O with tuna, Jell-O with ham. Jell-O gazpacho. I've come to believe that this book is a violation of the Geneva Conventions.

I want to know, who came up with these things? Did the food scientists in the labs at General Foods actually try these concoctions before deciding to put them in the book? Did they giggle and smirk? Have competitions to try to find the most ingeniously horrific combinations?

Welcome to my world. Growing up, my mom would make Jell-O at every opportunity. It was the thing to bring to potlucks, too. To this day, I'd rather not meet it face-to-face. I am Jell-O'd out (thanks, Ma! ).

As for the food scientists (more likely to be former home economic teachers)...it was their job to come up with ways to use the Jell-O creatively. That they came up with a book of recipes is a shining tribute to their ingenuity.

For more Jell-O creations, see this eGullet discussion:

"Showstopper Jello Desserts"

[blue_dolphin]

Lately, I've been following a fellow on Instagram who is cooking (Jello-ing?) his way through the the 1963 version of the book mentioned here, The Joys of Jello. 

Why?  I don't know. Not sure how long he'll keep at it but I find his little videos oddly amusing.  He begins each one with a jaunty, "Jello there!"

He's @otto_vs_jello on Instagram.  

Here's one he rather liked: Ginger Fruit Mold with Lemon Jell-O, Ginger Ale, Chopped Nuts, Pineapple Tidbits, Mandarin Oranges, Green Grapes, Candied Ginger.

Here's one he really didn't:  Plum Pudding with Cherry Jell-O, Salt, Cinnamon, Clove, Raisins, Prunes, Citron, Nuts, Post Grape-Nuts Cereal, Water.  Blech!

 

 

Edited May 18, 2023 by blue_dolphin
wrong word (log)

[Nancy in Pátzcuaro]

Many (and I really mean "many") years ago I worked with a woman who bragged that she could make a different jello salad for every day of the year. Yep--365 of 'em. She had worked at a smorgasbord restaurant (remember those?) and was called upon to come up with a new jello concoction for every day. I was too young (teenager) at the time to have the courage to ask her about them. I wish I had--surely there were some that would fall under the category of "regrettable." I do remember being impressed, though.