Dining Out With a Large Group

[weinoo]

I have several rules about dining out, and I only have these rules because over many years of dining out, certain things start to become apparent - and that's when they become rules. Pretty simple, I think. It's like clichés - something is defined as a cliché, even when it is actually true. But no digressing - back to the dining out rules; at the top of my list is to never dine out in a "fancy" or even a "fancy-ish" restaurant with more than a party of say, six (I like 4). There are a few reasons for this, not the least of which is the servers generally think they're going to get stiffed or under tipped in one way or another; as a matter of fact, the NYC Department of Consumer Affairs actually has rules about tipping policy for large parties of 8 or more, and there are a lot of them, so it must be important, right?

Another reason, at least in my mind, is that kitchens are usually not up to the task of cranking out, say 8 entrees all at the same time, all cooked and served properly. It's just pure physics. And having worked "the line" at a fancy-ish restaurant, and not being able to even get two entrees to come out correctly and at the same time - well, that's why I'm writing more instead of cooking in a restaurant.

A third reason, as if I need one, is the whole dietary restriction thing. One person may be a vegetarian, one a vegan, someone else only eats pork, this one can't eat pork, that one can't eat shellfish - unless it's with pork...get the picture?

BTW, if you think you're actually going to have a conversation with anyone when dining with, say 14 people, think again. Oh, maybe with the person sitting next to you, but just try to talk to someone across the table. In a NYC restaurant. Good luck with that. Secretly, I think that's why big families like to go out to eat together - that way, no one has to listen to anything anyone is saying.

So, what to do when the rules must absolutely be broken? After all, aren't rules meant to be broken, or is it records that are meant to be broken? Hmmm. In my mind, the places that are best prepared to feed large parties tend to be the ethnic or singular - cuisine type places. Asian food, especially Chinese, lends itself well to large party dining...as a matter of fact, it can even be more fun that way - think of all the things you get to try. Most Chinese restaurants have a few large round tables that seat a lot of people. That's how Chinese families roll...and the food doesn't require a lot of last minute prep. Sure, there's stir-fry, but that takes all of 2 or 3 minutes. There's deep fried, but that's also quick. Other things are braised, roasted, and generally prepped in advance - there's not a lot of last minute fancy-dancy plating going on to muck up the works. And there's usually something for everyone - I mean, one of our favorites, Congee Village, probably has hundreds of items on the menu.

Pizza, or restaurants where the main focus is pizza, are also good for breaking the rules. Especially pizzerias where the oven is cranking in at over 1000° F - takes less than 2 minutes to bake a pie in there. And you can have your sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms, whatever and make everyone happy.

A couple of other tips: a cocktail or two before dinner can help immensely - that's why the reservation is made for 7 PM - since I never drink before 6, I need the hour. Also, there's Xanax, but it must be legally prescribed, so it helps to have a good doc. Seating is quite important - never, I repeat, never place yourself in between kids who might be drinking 8 or 10 cokes over the course of the evening. Did I mention drugs, because after 8 or 10 cokes, you mights as well be doing meth.

Most of all, sit back, relax, enjoy - it is only dinner after all.

Any horror stories you all care to share? Or do you look forward to family time in a nice, noisy restaurant?

P.S. Thanks to FG - his suggestion for last night's dinner was right on.

[Lilija]

Just off the top of my head, Vietnamese places are a great place for parties of 8+. Every time we go there, the floor is dominated by huge Vietnamese families pushing the tables together, and the restaurant has good prices on special huge family dishes, where like...kettles of pho, enormous platters of salads and various rolls, and tremendous whole fish are shared. Excellent communal eating. Much the same way a good Chinese place is. That said, I don't often dine out with MY side of the extended family, because they're picky, and embarassing. Generally, we go to the diner (where I don't care if they're picky or embarassing), or I just cook for them.

Also, any place that serves pitchers of alcohol is a plus. When we go out with the non picky/embarassing side of the family, we head to an amazing Portuguese place, which specializes in communal vats of paella, and stews, draped dramatically with lobsters, and flaming hunks of beef. Added bonus: pitches of red and white sangrias. A gathering like that, you don't even NEED Xanax, because everyone's in a food/wine coma.

[weinoo]

Also, any place that serves pitchers of alcohol is a plus.  When we go out with the non picky/embarassing side of the family, we head to an amazing Portuguese place, which specializes in communal vats of paella, and stews, draped dramatically with lobsters, and flaming hunks of beef.  Added bonus: pitches of red and white sangrias.  A gathering like that, you don't even NEED Xanax, because everyone's in a food/wine coma.

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Now that sounds good. Anything with the word vats in it is good. And we did go to a Vietnamese place last night.

[rooftop1000]

Its not bad enough that I have to go out Thursday with a group of 18 where my $12 entree and diet coke is going to cost me 35 bucks by the time we split the bill....but its because of the 'Tinis

My rule - BYO is best.

Jersey is wonderful for that beacause most of the ethnic restaurants are BYO, if someone want a glass or bottle or 2 of nice wine...have at it

tracey

[weinoo]

Its not bad enough that I have to go out Thursday with a group of 18 where my $12 entree and diet coke is going to cost me 35 bucks by the time we split the bill....but its because of the  'Tinis

My rule - BYO is best.

Jersey is wonderful for that beacause most of the ethnic restaurants are BYO, if someone want a glass or bottle or 2 of nice wine...have at it

tracey

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How true. Those $5 Tsing Taos really add up fast.

[Lilija]

Its not bad enough that I have to go out Thursday with a group of 18 where my $12 entree and diet coke is going to cost me 35 bucks by the time we split the bill....but its because of the  'Tinis

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This is also true, when I go out to eat with a friend of mine. She can't even have a quick lunch without getting an appetizer, dessert, coffee, and random extra stuff. When I go out with her, my $9 salad generally runs me...yeah 35 bucks.

[Allura]

Its not bad enough that I have to go out Thursday with a group of 18 where my $12 entree and diet coke is going to cost me 35 bucks by the time we split the bill....but its because of the  'Tinis

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This is also true, when I go out to eat with a friend of mine. She can't even have a quick lunch without getting an appetizer, dessert, coffee, and random extra stuff. When I go out with her, my $9 salad generally runs me...yeah 35 bucks.

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This behavior always surprises me, since with our friends, we generally do the math when the check comes. Occasionally the math works out that it's just easier to split it, but that's the exception, not the rule. And, we've done the math with 10 people at the table, so it's not just one couple.

[Chufi]

I just had dinner with a group of 14 in a London restaurant, not fancy, but fancy-ish.. When I called to make the reservation they said they could put us in their private dining room which did not sound like a lot of fun to me, so we decided on having two separate tables right next to each other, in teh regular restaurant. I thought that was a pretty brilliant solution for group dining .. after all, you´re never gonna be able to talk to 14 people at once anyway, a table of 7 feels so much more manageable, and by the time dessert came around, some of us had switched places so we did feel that we´d ´seen´ everyone in the group.